*.:｡ run wild. ｡:.*

“Guinea pigs are just the cutest. I also love the name Pip too!”

“Right! Oh my god, isn’t it? I don’t know how it came to me, but it did, and I couldn’t be happier.”

“Go for it, fuck your roommate.”

“True, but I just don’t wanna hear his mouth. Think I could hide him? But how would I explain the guinea pig noises or blowing my money on accessories?”

“If only it were that easy, we have history. And he pays the majority of the rent so I’d be fucked. Hey, Pip is a cute name, don’t come for me. But if you wanna give me a place to stay I’d be down, I cook, so.”

“Pip’s a pretty good name for a guinea pig, yeah. But —— you should probably check with your roommate? You know, compromise, work something out. I mean, you’re sharing a space, it’d kind of suck for both of you if he got a heart attack every time he walked into the apartment and saw Pip. Just imagine all the trips to the ‘doc, man. But seriously though, it’s probably not a good idea to just turn up with a new pet.”

“Oh god, by flip shit I didn’t mean medically flip the fuck out. I meant just throw a bitch fit when I walk in with him. He does shit without consulting me first all the time. Just last weekend I come in from the gym and he’s ball deep in some girl on the couch. It’s just how we work.”

“Oh, good grief, I usually don’t care but please stop talking. Just get the fucking guinea pig and get on with your life.”

“Uh, excuse the hell outta you? Really no need for the attitude, damn.”

juliana.

“He does shit without my permission all the time, it’s kind of how we work. Plus, he’s not my father, who cares? Arguments can be fun sometimes anyway.”

juliana.

“Who says I wanted to be friends though? … Kidding!”

“Who the hell wants to take care of a weird looking rodent? Honestly… just get a dog or something. They’re way more interesting than a creature that sits in a cage all day.”

“How in the hell do you classify a guinea pig as weird is my question? And if I had the space for a dog, I would.”

“A guinea pig? I heard chinchillas are good pets, but I guess with all rodents you run the risk of them chewing up your furniture anyways. I feel bad for your roommate. Animals are so precious I can’t imagine being freaked out by them. Pip is really cute!”

“Oh my god, a chinchilla! Could you imagine? A cute little ball of fluff runnin’ around, oh god, I want everything. You’re right, but it could be a fuck you to my roommate for keeping me up with his one night stands. I think it’s a good plan. I get a friend and lowkey revenge for making me listen to randoms scream his name.”