Lovers' Carvings

“Why are you painting them to be some kind of monsters, they’re not terrible people! When have they ever held a grudge over either of us? Okay no wait excluding the time we broke that vase mom had been given by some long dead relative, but I don’t count that because…well yeah whatever.” She sniffed, somehow becoming the defense for her parents over Blair, which was an odd turn of events. At the mention of never letting them down she smarted silently, was that a dig at her? She had certainly let both of them down because of her choice of career, hence why she moved to London ironically because it seemed that to avoid their disappointment was why the other girl had done it as well. Moving away as the words were spat out she scowled, taking anouther drink from her glass wishing she’d filled it with straight vodka instead of mixing in white wine. “No, you don’t, but you’d be mad as fuck if we did that to you and you know you would.” Ignoring the laugh, she wasn’t amused right now.

“I’m not painting them to be monsters. But do you know how angry they would be with me if i decided to tell them now? I’ve never done anything to upset them before and i’m not going to start with something this massive. You may be able to sleep at night after upsetting them, but i can’t.” the last words fell out of her mouth so quickly, she didn’t mean to say it but it just happened. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean that.” she whispered before taking a large drink “there’s no point in telling mom and dad now anyway, it’s already over. i’ll get it all taken care of alone and then it will be as though it never happened.” she looked at her fingers before back up at Charlotte “i would be a little upset but i would get over it because we all have our own lives. there are things you don’t tell me and i’m sure as hell there are things libby hasn’t told us.”

Charlotte didn’t know if she should laugh or cry at that, it was nothing if not a clear indication of where she might have gotten her reliance on alcohol. Where she and Blair had both got it, but their mother had never been anything other than amazing regardless of how much she’d drunk so no one in the family looked on it as a problem at all. It was a way of relieving stress, she understood that. Pinching the bridge of her nose she wondered how they’d gotten to this point, hiding things from those that loved them the most out of fear for some unknown reason. “Sure they’d be mad but they’d have forgiven you, you know they would have. I was mad that I didn’t get to be a maid of honor but I forgave you, you know they’d do the same.” Her voice was low, pulling a tumbler out of the cabinet it might not be the usual wine drinking receptacle but it would do the job for now which was all the tiny girl needed since she snapped her glasses stem. Uncorking anouther bottle of wine she let out a small laugh she shook her head, pressing her lips together with the glass up at them. “I don’t know if she’d do that but you’re not going to know until you tell her and the longer you wait the more you’re risking her anger. If you told me now i’d be furious, i’d be so fucking angry with you.’ Harsh maybe, but true. “She’s back, came back earlier this week. I haven’t told her you’re here yet, yo need to decide what to do about everything it’s not my choice right?” Taking the bottle off her sister she sloshed some into her white wine. “Call it a cocktail.”

“No, they wouldn’t have forgave me. They still won’t forgive me. That’s why i’m not telling them, i’ll get a divorce and all will be fine. I’ve never let them down before, Char...i don’t want to start now.” Blair took a drink and nodded when hearing that Libby had come back “yeah, well i told you because you’re my twin sister. If she’s angry then she can be angry, i’m allowed to keep things to myself, i don’t have to tell you guys every thing i do.” she spat her words out before stopping and taking a deep breath “i’ll tell her but if she gets mad then it’s on her.” she watched her sister pour some of the liquid into her glass “a cocktail that’s going to fuck me up.” she laughed. 

Charlotte held the woman tightly for a while, not letting go until she felt her go a little more limp in her arms because otherwise she was just going to start pacing again. “Wine is amazing, there is nothing wine can’t do. See, Mom did teach us something even though she was out all hours of the night working. She taught up wine is the answer to everything.” Smiling a little she leant against the counter still holding the bottle, watching as the other swigged. “There are a lot of things I haven’t told…wait you never told them you got married? I thought you were going to do that ages ago. Who do they think you live with?” The fashion twin had secrets shoved under her the carpet for everyone to have a share but if she got married she was pretty sure she’d tell their parents. “Not even Libby? Babe you have to tell Libby otherwise she’s going to be so angry if she hears from someone else. She’s back from Paris today, please tell her.” She sighed heavily, going over to the sink to grab a bottle of vodka from underneath. “I’m out of tequila, i finished it the night before last.”

“She taught me to work my ass off and then to come home and drink as much wine as needed.” she smirked “no, i never told them i got married. can you imagine what they would say? i eloped, they would be so angry. mom never helping me pick out a wedding dress, dad never walking me down the aisle. it would break their hearts. they think i live on my own, it’s not like he ever came around mom and dad. when i had dinner with them i was always alone.” Blair knew it was wrong but now it was too late now, she had already married and now she wanted a divorce. she couldn’t even turn to her parents for help when she needed them most. “I know I need to tell Libby, but i was scared she would turn around and tell mom and dad and that’s heartbreak far worse than my little sister finding out from someone else.” she bit down on her bottom lip and tilted her head sideways “wait...libby’s back? i’ll tell her when i see her, i promise.” Blair whispered and watched her sister cross the kitchen “i don’t even care, i’ll take it. vodka isn’t the worst, i’ve been enjoying it more lately.” 

“Okay, alright B, okay.” Charlotte whispered in a soft voice, pulling the girl towards her so she could wrap her arms around her. After all it was what she’d wanted for weeks while she was at her lowest, to be with her sister, so maybe she would be able to help her in return like this. “You don’t have to think about that anymore, you don’t have to wonder when he’s getting home or what he’s doing because he’s not here. Right now all you need to do is just…focus on trying to relax and drink more wine. Got it? Here, just drink.” Getting the bottle from the side as she pulled away from the brunette she ruptured the rest of the liquid into the glass, pushing it towards Blair. “It’s a shitty was to cope but fuck does it work, trust me i’ve been using the method long enough to know. You just need to drink, get some sleep, and we’ll look at this all again in the morning okay?” Maybe this was what she needed to be strong just like she said to Jonny, she needed someone to be strong for, she needed her sister. 

Feeling her sisters arms around it calmed her instantly. It had to of been a twin thing because whenever Blair was upset, Charlotte was always able to calm her down, she knew it was the same the other way around as well. Hearing her soft voice in her ear, Blair tightened her arms around her sister and took a deep breath before pulling back. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and let a small laugh out “wine does always do the trick” she grabbed the glass and took a long drink. “I haven’t told mom and dad...i mean, i haven’t told mom and dad anything.” she paused and looked at her sister “they have no idea i even got married.” she quickly took another drink “you’re the only one who knows.” she plopped herself back down on the chair and finished what was left in the bottle “got anything stronger?” the brunette asked with a laugh. 

Rubbing her fingers against her temple the brunette tried not to compleatly go off on her sister, aware it wouldn’t go well if she did, but still her blood was starting to boil. Since her nerves, and patience, were already on edge getting a verbal run down from her twin wasn’t really helping. She could feel tears rising in her throat at the others words, the idea that she wouldn’t want to stay with her hurting even if she’d just said she didn’t want her there. Charlie was fragile right now it seemed. “Look, I don’t want to talk about me right now okay, can we please just focus on the fact that you’re telling me you’re leaving your husband for no apparent reason. Or at least you won’t explain to me what the reason is, I just…” the both of them were a mess and a half that was clear. One as fucked up as the other, apparently old habits die hard. Letting out a heavy sigh she shook her head, going over to Blair as she paced back across the room again, grabbing her wrist to make her stop. “You’re making me nervy, stop marching back and forth. Look, you’re not crazy B, he’s just…well he’s an asshole by the sounds of things. Which I could have told you since he cheated you out of a big white wedding.” Not that she really thought that, Charlotte had always maintained that them eloping was incredibly romantic.

It seemed as though Blair checked out of the whole situation for a moment, she was lost in her thoughts once again. Feeling her sisters hand on her wrist she quickly snapped her neck to look at her and then down at her hand on her wrist. “I can’t stop, that’s all i do is think. I don’t sleep, i stay up crying wondering where he is and why he isn’t home.” she shook her head slowly, looking at her sister “i feel like a ghost living in my own home, when he’s there he doesn’t look at me. i spend as much time as i can at work, because it’s the only place i feel wanted. charlotte, i don’t want this. but i can’t stay with a man who’s out sleeping around. i loved him, i still love him i do. but this isn’t what i imagined my marriage to be like.” 

“Oh jesus Blair this is great, so nice to have you here, thanks so much for paying a visit feel free to not let the door hit your gigantic ass on the way out.” Charlotte growled, taking the bits of glass that were now splintered in her hand and throwing them into the sink with a crash, trying to take a deep breath. Wasn’t her sister meant to be making things better? But instead she was just wanting to lock herself in the bathroom. “I swear to god if you say anything to them i’m never speaking to you again, I swear.” The way her eyes turned on her it was more than obvious Charlotte wasn’t even slightly joking. This was all too much, everything was piling up all of a sudden and what she thought she knew was true turned out to be a lie. “What do you mean you married a man you don’t even know? You guys love each other, real love, that’s why you eloped. You were so caught up in each other it was meant to be real what…what the hell happened?”

“For once in your life can you just stop being a bitch? I mean i know its in your fucking blood but god damn, I’ll leave, don’t have to bother telling me twice, the last place i want to stay is here with you anyway.” Blair shook her head as her sister spoke “then fucking talk to me, i feel like we’re ten again and you won’t talk so i’m forced to get mom and dad. you can’t just keep secrets from me, Charlotte.” the brunette ran her fingers through her hair and began pacing the room “i thought i loved him, i don’t. he’s not the man i fell in love with. he doesn’t come home and when he does he doesn’t talk to me or he’s angry and he shuts himself off. he’d rather spend his nights doing god knows what. he hasn’t touched me in weeks. when i ask him questions he gets so defensive and makes me sound crazy for asking him. and maybe he’s right, maybe i’m crazy and maybe i did something wrong along the way. but i don’t want to be there anymore, i don’t want to be with him anymore.” 

“My ass was never that big, what the hell is wrong with you.” Charlotte snapped, slamming her glass down on the counter so hard the stem broke, making her look down at the two bits now in her hand. “Fuck…see what you’ve done.” She muttered, how easily things could go sour even when the twins had only been together for a matter of moments, but weight was incredibly touchy to Charlie right now. “I don’t want to talk about me, let’s talk about how you have a perfectly good home back in New York but you’re over here telling me you need somewhere to live. You can come and visit me but excuse me if i’m a bit fucking suspicious when you just show up for a visit or so I think, bu then tell me you want to move in. Something else is going on.” The girl narrowed her eyes at him. “What aren’t you telling me? You’re meant to be the smart one here.”

“Go ahead, blame everything on me like always.” she spat before taking another drink. “Something is up with you, i suggest you tell me before i go and say something to mom and dad.” Blair set her glass down gently “fuck, i’m a grown woman and if i want to move i can do so without my little sister condoning me. I’m not asking to move in here, i plan on finding my own place. I have a job interview in a few days as well.” she shook her head and stood up “Charlotte wake up and smell the fucking coffee, i’m not the smart one. I’ve never been the smart one!” her voice began to get a bit louder “i’m the fucking idiot who married a man because i was so blinded by how great his life looked!” she wiped the first tear away that fell on her cheek “I don’t even know who he is, i want away from him.” 

“That’s true, you should cut back.” She muttered, incredibly petty considering they were twins but if there was one thing Charlie was it was cutting. To everyone. Will about…two exceptions. “Up with what? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She took three large gulps of her wine, almost finishing the glass straight away. “Looking for a place to what now?” She almost choked on her next swig, coughing to try and get her breath back, not really sure what she meant by that. “To live? You have a place to live, I don’t understand…”

Blair’s eyebrows rose at her sisters words, while she sipped the wine out of the glass “yeah, your ass used to be the size of Asia and now look at it. you’re thinner too, and not in the ‘i spend my days in the gym’ kind of skinny.” she narrowed her eyes at her sister “so what’s going on with that?” her stomach dropped when Charlie asked about her looking for a place to live. “Can’t i move closer to my sister without you asking questions? I want out of Brooklyn, simple as that. I’ve been in New York my entire life and it’s time for a change. What’s better than being overseas?” 

Scowling as her sister uttered the words chipmunk cheeks she reached out and grabbed the woman’s cheek between her thumb and finger. “Bullshit yourself, look at this, there is more fat on your cheek than there is on my asscheek B, did I mention I was so glad to have you here?” Her tone was sarcastic as she scoffed, rolling her eyes like a small child. “I know your favorite is Pinot Noir which is why you can’t have it, I live to make you miserable. You can have a nice glass of white.” Grabbing the half empty bottle out the fridge she poured two very large glasses, one for each of them, passing it across to Blair. “Here, drink up princess. Nothing, just living my life? You should have been an actress. No one has nothing going on, so, get talking before i’m too drunk to remember what you’ve said in the morning.”

“Who are you kidding, my left asscheek weighs more than you do. What’s going on with that?” she asked as she grabbed the wine glass and took a drink “i’ll drink anything put in front of me, don’t worry about me.” she shrugged. Hearing her sisters accusations she scratched her head and sighed “okay, fine. i’m not just here to see you, i’m also here to look for a place to live. i need out of brooklyn.” it may not have been the whole truth, but it was enough for right now.

“Because we’re the same person, only my face is a better version than yours?” She offered with a genuine grin on her face now, because this was the calmest she’d been in a while and it was hugely needed. “I’m sure if we called mom it would go to voicemail because she’s on shift, we both know that. Well, either that or that she’d just had a glass of wine, depends on her rota.” Charlotte giggled, putting the suitcase on the floor in the guest room before grabbing her sisters hand. “Come on, wine time, you can get used to your room later. We’re having white because I just had my teeth whitened the other day and i’m not getting them all stained just because you’re in the mood for Pinot Noir.” Plus she only had white in, because she’d made sure to finish all the red the night before her teeth appointment and had only drunk tequila since. Well apart from the half a bottle of wine she’d had at about four this afternoon but she wasn’t about to go into that. “What’s new with you?”

“Oh bullshit! Mine is much better, you never grew out of your chipmunk cheek phase, i did.” Blair smirked “you’re right, she probably is working, that’s all she knows how to do.” she laughed before feeling her take her hand and pull her back down the hall “of course you just had your teeth whitened, you know my favorite is Pinot Noir, but i’ll never pass up a glass of white. so pour it for me sister.” she giggled “oh, me? nothing. just, living my life.” she knew her sister would bust her before too long, she couldn’t lie to her. she could try to pretend all she wanted but she knew she probably wasn’t going to be able to hide it for long. 

“Well I had a few glasses of wine before you got here so we have that in common.” That was the great thing about flights, you could drink regardless of what time it was because in the air time didn’t really matter. However, she hadn’t been in the air, she’d just been drinking because she needed to. As per usual these days. She pressed a kiss to the woman’s cheek as they hugged, bouncing up and down slightly as the joy that she was here started to overwhelm her. “I’m so happy you’re here, I needed this visit you have no idea. I’ve mainly just been working and stuff. You know how it is.” Pulling out of the hug she swallowed, knowing that Blair knew about her break up but not wanting to go into it right now. “It’s good to keep busy after everything went down….by the way if you need to sleep you can just say at any time, here let me show you where your room is, do you want a glass of wine?” She offered, leading her down the hall to where the guest room was because she’d found it too hard to live with a roommate after she and Max had ended. Everyone else just got on her nerves too much.

“How did i know you were about to say you also had wine?” her eyebrows rose as she spoke “i’m sure if we called mom she would also say she just had a glass of wine.” Blair teased she was exactly like her mother and she knew all of her ways way too well. “Honey, you and me. I can finish a bottle in a night, not that i’m proud of that by any means…” her voice trailed off. “I’ll let you know if i need to sleep, right now i just want to enjoy being with my sister.” the brunette followed her down the hall “i would love a glass of wine!”

 [ NIKKI REED ] —— [ BLAIR PACKHAM ] is a [ TWENTY-SIX] year old [ DETECTIVE ]. They identify as a [ BISEXUAL CISFEMALE ] and I’ve heard that they’re [ PASSIONATE & HARDWORKING ] but can also be [ DEMANDING & SELF CENTERED ]. [ SHE ] has been living in London for [ ONE WEEK ] and has since been known as the [ BADASS ]