Charlotte Packham

“agreed, I don’t get it either” julian replied with a nod. at charlotte mentioning tequila his lips formed an approving smile and he turned to the bartender who had been patiently waiting to take their order. “you heard the lady, mate!” he said. the man behind the bar grinned and grabbed the bottle from behind him. 

“Well check you out Professor Snape, we’re more similar than I thought.” Charlie smirked, gesturing for the barman to get them shot glasses and a bottle, waiting until it was set in front of her before pouring two slightly sloshing shots. “Right, what are we toasting to? Can’t do your first shot without toasting to something that’s what my mom taught me.”  

zoe sighed. she felt that there was more about charlotte than just this pessimistic person that hates everything but she didn’t know how to address without the other woman getting mad at her. any other person in their right mind would not even try to dig deeper but that is who zoe was. she couldn’t let it go, even if she wanted to. “well, I guess we are just very different people then.” she replied with a shrug, having to bite her lip to not say anything she might regret.  

Charlotte shrugged at that, it wasn’t something she found surprising but there was a resigned tone in Zoe’s voice that made the girls eyebrow raise. “So you’re what, dissaproving of who I am? I shared my drugs with you when we first met, I consider that to be more than a little welcoming.” She grunted, tapping her nails against the top of the bar. “Well, if you don’t wanna talk I’ll leave, don’t feel like making a habit of being around someone who doesn’t want me there hmm?”

“I’m a paramedic.” So yeah, she saw probably the worst after-effects of alcohol, and usually she wasn’t quite such a downer about it, or so verbal with her views, but the other brunette sparked something in her where Aubrey just couldn’t help but comment. The woman’s tone only seemed to get angrier as she went on, Aubrey not sure that she even wanted to discuss it further. “To each their own,” Was all she replied, shrugging her shoulders. Alcohol wouldn’t take away her trauma, wouldn’t change the fact that there were thousands of people out there with pictures of her, who fantasized about her… A shake of her head, mostly to clear it. “I hope it helps.” 

“Congratulations? Not liver surgery though, shame. That would be very cool.” Charlie offered with a cocky smirk, egged on by the alcohol they were both talking about right at this moment. “I hope it fucking helps too, otherwise I don’t know why i’m spending my money on it, the reason is for me to be able to forget.” Her laugh was almost harsh as she barked it out, although the lyrical tone that was often in it still rang true. Charlotte couldn’t understand why the girl was being so pessimistic right now, normally that was her job, but it was slightly intriguing as she cast her eye over her once more. “I feel like there is some kind of story here or backstory that you’re not telling me which would help this whole thing not be so weird.” She murmured.”Wanna share with the group? The group won’t remember in the morning if that helps.”

Frowning a little, Jonny started shaking his head when he realised that she had obviously understood him wrong. “I didn’t say I don’t want to be his friend”, he stated, “It’s just the reason for him not telling me anything about.. you.” Shrugging a little, he finally glanced up at her eyes again, trying to figure out what was going on in her head. One thing was pretty obvious though, she really seemed to like Nate. Something that he clearly needed to learn to live with but that still didn’t mean that he was in the mood of giving any relationship advice right now. “Because everybody else would be happy with something like that right..?!”, he asked in a once again pretty sarcastic tone while running his hand through his hair, “What do you want me to say right now? If he really like you, fine. If you like him as well, great but that doesn’t really make it any easier for me right now..”

“Not telling you…what about me?” The brunette asked carefully, she was still fishing, possibly unfair since she knew that this probably wasn’t the easiest thing for Jonny but hanging on to a conversation she finally found a little more positive was something she couldn’t ignore. It had been a while since she felt something like the glimmer of hope that was in her chest. Hearing the sarcastic flair in his voice she sat back in the sofa once more, averting her eyes, looking at the wall across from where they were. “Alright, I won’t talk about it anymore if you’re going to get snappy.” Charlie muttered, sniffing and pushing some hair out of her eyes. Silence lapsed over them both, she was in her own weird way happy to hear Nate might like her, but he wasn’t which was dulling the whole thing. After a while she spoke again. “You didn’t answer my question, what happens to him when he likes someone?”

Carefully watching her face, it was more than obvious how much she was still hurting because of the entire situation with Max. But at least she was talking about it now. And not in a sarcastic way but more honest. “I know how hard this must be for you..”, he said, even though he wasn’t exactly sure that it was the truth. His last serious relationship had already been a few years ago and to be honest in the end the breakup hadn’t been that bad at all. When the girl tried to get up, he immediately reached for her arm, knowing perfectly well what she was about to do. “Hey Charlie, please!”, he whispered, getting up as well, “I know that you are hurting and it might seem like those pills are helping you right now but in the long run they won’t. It will only makes everything worse!”

Her heart sank like a stone as he grabbed her arm, she’d thought maybe her words have been surreptitious enough to gloss over her real reason for going to the bathroom but apparently not. Should have known, Carter knew her better than anyone else with the exception of her family, he could see through her even if she built up a brick wall in front of her face. “Maybe they won’t in the long run but they are right now, and if you want me to make it to tomorrow you’ll let go of my arm.” She whispered, glancing down at his hand before meeting his eyes steadily. Maybe the sentiment seemed dark but it was her truth, getting through each day was a struggle at the moment, so she clung onto anything she had to make it just that little bit easier. Only problem was those things were becoming few and far between. “Please.”

Continuing to stare at the opposite wall, Jonny only quickly glanced down at her when she started talking again. “Yeah but that’s the problem in this case isn’t it..? Being best friends?”, that sarcastic smile on his face once more, the man shook his head, “He just didn’t want to hurt me I guess.. but I know him long enough to know when he likes someone..” Swallowing, he finally looked down at her face again, trying to force a more genuine smile on her face this time. The fact that he was trying his best to be her friend didn’t mean that his feelings for her were completely gone after all. Not after such a short time. “I don’t know.. if it makes you happy..”, the man just shrugged, knowing all too well, that the look on his own face certainly was everything but happy.

“Is it? I mean, if you don’t want to be his friend for some reason you should be honest with him. He thinks honesty is important I think. That’s what I’ve gleaned from him since meeting him.” And kissing him, and sleeping with him, but she wasn’t about to add that into the equation incase Nate hadn’t told Jonny yet. She could tell his smile was sarcastic but didn’t return it with her own, instead just keeping her gaze steady. “What happens when he likes someone?” Her voice was soft as their eyes finally met, Charlie pressed her lips together waiting to hear what might be said, what she might be able to learn about the other man from the words of his best friend. Who else knew him better? “It makes you unhappy though right? Which is why you’re not looking at me right now, and wishing you’d never mentioned Nate at all.”

“I’m not painting them to be monsters. But do you know how angry they would be with me if i decided to tell them now? I’ve never done anything to upset them before and i’m not going to start with something this massive. You may be able to sleep at night after upsetting them, but i can’t.” the last words fell out of her mouth so quickly, she didn’t mean to say it but it just happened. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean that.” she whispered before taking a large drink “there’s no point in telling mom and dad now anyway, it’s already over. i’ll get it all taken care of alone and then it will be as though it never happened.” she looked at her fingers before back up at Charlotte “i would be a little upset but i would get over it because we all have our own lives. there are things you don’t tell me and i’m sure as hell there are things libby hasn’t told us.”

“Yeah they’d be angry but they’d forgive you, the longer you wait the more it’s going to explode in your face when they finally do find out. On your head be it.” The girl muttered, feeling like she’d been punched straight in the chest when her sister spoke about how she’d let her parents down, or heavily implied it, her face turning pale with shock. “Fuck you. Fuck you for being such a bitch.” She snapped, ignoring the apology, her eyes flashing. After all her twin sister knew where her weaknesses lay because they knew each other better than anyone, so it hurt even more when she deliberatly kicked her in them. “You want me to play up to being the disappointment? How about I call them and tell them what you’ve done as well, then we can be disappointments together. It’ll be a nice bonding game for us now you’re in the UK too, kick things off with a bang! I’m not your punching bag Blair, so don’t you dare treat me like I am.” Her tone was so hushed it was even more dangerous than if she’d been screaming a the other. Placing her glass down on the counter she moved towards her bedroom, slamming into it before going straight through to her bathroom, locking the door behind her. If her sister wanted her to be a disappointment then she’d play into that, grabbing a pill bottle she tipped a couple into her mouth before swallowing them dry before resting her head against the sink. Maybe self destructive behavior was more rife in their family than the twin first thought.

julian didn’t really know what charlotte had meant with the comment about him being a child but he didn’t really care anyway. “I moved out when I was off to uni, so almost three years ago now. it’s nice to finally be allowed to take of yourself although I have always done it anyway.” he shrugged. he took the last sip of his drink, looking at the empty glass for a moment. “I need something stronger than this” he mumbled and raised his hand for the bartender to come over. “this one’s on me” he said turning to the woman next to him and looking at her expectantly. 

“Exactly, see, you moved out because you’re not a kid. I honestly don’t understand people who live with their parents into their late twenties…what are they expecting? Their parents to like kick the bucket and leave the whole house to them? It’s stupid. Move out, get on with your life, you know?” She gave him a small smile, agreeing with him about looking after yourself even if she was terrible at looking after herself in a lot of ways. Hearing the next drink was on him she broke out into a smile, more genuine, nodding her head a little. “I’m not going to say no to that, come on, let’s do a couple of shots of tequila I promise it’ll make you forget the shit.”

zoe shrugged. “fair point, I gotta admit.” she took another sip of her drink, thinking about what to reply without having charlotte lash out at her like last time. “but isn’t that a bit sad from time to time? it’s true, I am nervous a lot but I enjoy being positive about things because it makes me and other people happy. I think I would be even more depressed if I thought that everything will go wrong anyway.” 

“A bit sad from time to time? So is getting your hopes crushed after you hope against hope that everything is going to be okay and it isn’t. At least i’m prepared for what’s going to come if it is bad, you’re not so it hits you like a tonne of bricks.’ Charlotte shrugged easily, it wasn’t exactly the whole truth because yes she was miserable most of the time. Plus she made it sound like there was no thread of hope in her life, anouther lie, she just hated how often it seemed to come crashing down around her ears.

“I’d actually be happy with you laughing again at alll. Doesn’t necessarily have to be me..”, Carter countered with a shrug before slightly smirking at the girl again. At least for a little while. Because when she started speaking again, it didn’t really sound like there would be any reason for her to even smile again any time soon. “I know it takes some time to get over what happened with Max but please don’t give up trusting other people ok?!”, turning his head again to look at her face, he wasn’t really sure whether there would be any use in trying to convince her right now but she seemed to be so lost right now, that he just couldn’t help himself. “And you’re not letting anyone down Charlie! Everybody makes mistakes sometimes, that doesn’t mean you should try and keep everyone out of your life!”

Charlotte smiled on a outward breath as he said he just wanted to see her smile, rubbing her left eye carefully with her hand, not wanting to smudge the eyeliner that lay there. She’d brought up Max but wished she hadn’t because hearing his name still hurt, even though it had been two weeks or so since the incident. She’d put herself out there in a big way with him, and her heart had ended up crushed. “He looked at me like I’d ruined his life when I first saw him after I did it, but when I saw him that last time…he looked at me like I didn’t matter in the slightest and I don’t know which one haunts me more.” The brunette swallowed hard, taking a slow breath to force herself not to cry, or pass out, or anything else equally embarrassing. God she wanted a drink, or she wanted some of the medication that sat in her medicine cabinet. “I’ll be back…I need to go to the bathroom, i’ll be back okay?” she whispered, pushing herself up from where she sat.

Seeing her finally looking up at him again as he mentioned his friend, Jonny couldn’t deny that it felt like being stabbed right into the heart. Of course he only wanted her to be happy again but the thought of someone else being able to help her with that still hurt. Especially if that someone was his best friend. “No, he didn’t..”, he finally mumbled, now trying to avoid her eyes himself as a rather sarcastic smile appeared on his lips, “He didn’t even want to talk about it at all. That’s why I am so sure he likes you. Otherwise he would’ve told me..” The man knew that Nate only tried not to hurt him by keeping it to himself, but somehow it still felt even more weird. And the sudden change of her voice, way more optimistic than before, didn’t really help with that either.

Frowning slightly she carried on looking at him steadily trying to decipher what he meant by those words. Charlotte wanted to hear that Nate couldn’t stop gushing about her really, not that they didn’t even talk about her at all. How did that mean he could tell the boy liked her. After silence she shook her head, speaking once more. “How the hell does that mean he likes me, if he likes me then wouldn’t he have told you if you two a best friends or whatever?” Okay so maybe she was fishing, trying to find out more of his opinion on what she or Nate would be like as a couple, not that they were anywhere near that. “If he did like me….what would you think about that?” There were two topics of conversation that could pull herself out of her shell of depression, one was Cinderella and the other apparently…was Nate.

zoe simply rolled her eyes at charlotte’s comment about cookie’s name and took another sip of her drink. “can I ask you a question?” she asked and without letting the other woman answer “do you ever get tired of being so negative?” 

“Hit me, not literally because I think we both know i’d deck you back.” Charlotte smirked, although before she’d managed to get the whole sentance out she’d already asked the question. “Tired of being so negative? If I was tired of being negative i’d be tired of being myself. I’m an incredibly pessimistic person because i’m a realist, don’t you ever wonder why you’re so fucking nervous all the time? Because you spend so much time hoping everything will turn out well they never fucking do, which stresses you out, because you ignored that possibility. I always expect the worst, so i’m more confidant because worst case scenario things end up exactly how I thought they would.” 

“You are assuming the ultimate worst scenario there could be, let’s be clear on that. Ex girlfriend, by the way, I’ve never married anyone.” His hand waves in the air as if setting some facts on the table that was what now seemed to be growing more into an argument by the second, heated up by the way the subject seemed to be getting into Nathaniel’s nerves. “Why is it important that my ex is moving with Jonny? And why would it mean we are all in a web? Why does this have to relate to them?” He’s spitting questions without giving it too much thought, he is not one to lose his temper, but he surely had been bottling up feelings that were only now being revealed. “We broke up.. three months ago..” He is considerably losing his strong attitude through that last confession, painfully aware he’s told her he hadn’t been with anyone in ages. He knows how unfair this all was to her when he was so demanding with honest. “Are you looking through her profile now?” His blue eyes are quick to look down at her phone, although only as a follow up to his thought seeing as he was not able to see what was showing on her screen from where he was sitting.

“Ex girlfriend, well that’s reassuring, and of course i’m assuming the worst case scenario i’m protecting myself that’s what i’m good at. Maybe you don’t know me as well as I thought. It is important that she’s moving in with Jonny because of everything you know about what happened between Jonny and I, now there is something going on between you and her. Great. Or there was.” Charlotte exclaimed, she could tell he was getting annoyed, which almost rubbed her up the wrong way because she assumed it was because he had something to hide. That he’d been caught out so he was pissed off by that. Rapidly though that being wrong was becoming clear, until he told her how long ago they broke up. Raising her eyebrows suddenly Charlie took a step forward, hand going behind her ear. “I’m sorry you broke up three months ago? You told me you haven’t been out with someone in years. Three months is not years.” She shouldn’t care about that but indigence ran through her voice brimming out of every word, maybe because he was so keen on honesty when apparently he didn’t hold himself to the same regard. This was what angry Charlotte’s mind had decided. “No i’m not looking through her profile I have no interest in her profile i’m just looking at the photo that Jonny posted on his facebook.” She muttered, throwing her phone down next to her.

At her answer, which he almost didn’t even hear, Jonny simply nodded. ‘One day’ was at least better than ‘never’. So maybe that had to be enough for now. And the girl seemed to be way too tired to discuss it any longer anyway. “I’ll stay here as long as you want, I owe that to you after everything I said the last time”, he stated before remembering that she didn’t want to talk about that anymore. “Maybe you should call Nate sometimes though.. I think he likes you”, the man finally added, his voice barely even a whisper right now as well. He hadn’t really been able to talk to his best friend about it, but something still told him that he was right. Even if it was somehow weird to think about it and, he had to admit, still hurt him a little. But it was much more important to him, that she would eventually get better and if being with Nate helped her, then he would have to find a way to deal with it. 

Charlotte didn’t deny that what he’d said last time would take time to make up, but then again Jonny knew that, she’d shouted it at him less than an hour ago. What did draw her attention though was what he had uttered about Nate, causing the girl to open her eyes turning a little so she could look up at him. “Wait, really?” She whispered back, because if she told herself that wasn’t something she’d been secretly hoping it would be a lie. Nate was someone she’d just managed to click with, they had known each other for quite a while but not on this level, this well…it was something new. “Did he say that to you?” Charlie sat up slowly, careful not to cause her head to rush since there wasn’t much blood getting to it while she lay on his lap. Swallowing her ears finally heard how almost optimistic she’d sounded asking that question, it was obvious what she wanted the answer to be but there was no way to take it back now. Denial would just make it more obvious.

“No, no you want be a monster. It’ll heal up fine I’m sure. Probably not even a scar.” The words made Violet’s stomach coil. “No, that’s not true. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, not for someone like him. It’s his problem that he behaves in such a way, not yours.” Her voice was filled with such ferocity, it was like she was trying to force the words into her. No one was supposed to believe what she did, no one was supposed to think it was their fault. “Don’t blame yourself love, please.”

“Not even a scar, if it scars i’m going to fucking sue him my face is my life.” She burst out in anguish, the confusion and alcohol making her think she was still a model. Even if she’d given up that area of her life about three years ago. “Why not, I don’t have a boyfriend, maybe I should have just kept him quiet or something so he wouldn’t have heart my beautiful face.” More fat tears rolled down her cheeks as she sat against the bottom of the bar, head resting against it. The sound of the woman’s voice with it’s ferocity made her look up at her, meeting her eyes as she spoke. “Who even are you? Some kind of ninja? Am I being punked?”

“Maybe you laughing in my face is exactly what I want right now..”, Carter tried arguing with a shrug, although it actually hadn’t been his intention. But he had to take every chance of maybe cheering her up, right?! But instead of laughing, the girl actually looked even more sad right now, the exact opposite of what he wanted. Pretending to watch the movie for a little while, the man eventually turned his head back towards the tiny girl next to him. “I know it’s not easy and people tend to give you lots of reasons for not trusting any of them but you should really give it a try. Of course, sometimes it can break your heart but most of the time it’s actually pretty good to be able to rely on someone else no matter what. It makes things a whole lot easier!”

‘You want me to laugh in your face right now? You’ve never wanted me laughing in your face before though.” Charlie let out a tiny laugh, eyebrows raised as she looked at him, before dissolving into a heavy sigh that showed she felt like the weight of the world was on her shoulders. Swallowing as he spoke about trusting people she shrugged one shoulder, not really sure what to say to that, because she’d tried it recently but the worst had happened. “I trusted Max, he trusted me, but then I hurt him and he hurt me. That’s two for two right there. I think i’m done with trusting right now. I’ve not got a great track record of it. Or of being trusts, I think I let people down just as much as they let me down.” Having said that she relied pretty heavily on Carter, maybe she didn’t explicitly say that but he must know it right? Hell he was here now. That was some indication he knew it.

Deep blue eyes are widely open for the major bomb that was finally dropped. “Wait, you forgot to take it?” Nathaniel has worry dripping through his words, he is suddenly agitated as he quickly closes the door behind him. Life seemed to be laughing in his face recently when the memory of his conversation with Leni a couple of weeks ago at the hospital crossed his mind. “How can you be certain? Is it not better if you take the test? Just in.. case.” There’s a million feelings and thoughts running through his mind as he makes his way to her once again, eyebrows knitted together, he is still finding it hard to pull himself together, regretting the irresponsibility of having sex without a condom a couple of times during that night and still believing that this was never going to be a result of that. He wants to be the one telling her that Charlotte doesn’t need to panic, but he can’t even bring himself to think straight at the moment, not when this would’ve been her second pregnancy that year. Another thought he would rather not have at the moment. He rubs her arm gently, nonetheless. “If we think this through.. the chances are slim, right?”

Charlotte interpreted his tone and facial expression to mean he was annoyed with her, rather than just worried about the situation, making her draw her arms across her chest almost in defense. “Yes, I forgot to take it, I told you i’m sorry. My sister who I hadn’t seen in what feels like years had come over we were spending time together, i’m sorry if that’s a problem for you.” As soon as she felt his hand rub her arm the girl seemed to deflate again, reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose. “I know i’m not because I know me, I know me better than anyone else knows me.” Plus she didn’t want to start talking about how her periods weren’t something she could go by, they were so irregular thanks to her eating habits the idea of charting them to understand some kind of mensural cycle was incredibly amusing. Except not in this exact moment. “It’s stressful as it is right now having just found the box maybe we could just let the dust settle before you start frogmarching me down to a drug store. Trust me, I don’t want a baby in my life anymore than you do, you know that.” Her laugh was strained, thin, as she swallowed hard going into the kitchen to keep herself busy. Pouring them both a glass of water with slightly trembling hands her chest rising and falling rapidly with each breath.