foolish

Pomni always notices when something is off with someone else in the circus. she always catches on and holds on to the tiniest discrepancies, notices lies and dishonesty and suspicious behavior, even if she doesnt always know what that behavior Means. its hard for anything to slip past her

shes the only one who notices that Jax is scared to leave the circus. she might not know thats what hes scared of specifically, but she does know that something about the situation is scary to him, and makes an effort to connect with him and comfort him again despite everything hes done to her

who plundered their treasure...

🏳️‍⚧️

i completely missed this detail the first time around, but hes remembering an adventure we didnt get to see. its pretty clear that an argument is going on, but its hard to tell between who. i wonder if this was the adventure before Ribbit abstracted

Kinger was listening the whole time, lol

maybe obvious but Kingers memory loss isnt because hes crazy, Caine is the one who added a modifier to make him forget things. whats really interesting about that is that even when Kinger is sane, he chooses not to tell everyone the reality of the situation and instead decides to just try talk to them... what reason would he have to keep the truth away from them unless it was too much for them the bear. its sad thinking about him sitting in his pillow fort 24/7 just Thinking about everything

okaaay maybe where i will begin to sound crazy, but this laugh really stood out to me as it seemed so genuine, like he found Caines joke really charming and funny and cute ? the first time someone has seemingly had an actual positive reaction to Caine

Caine again and again and AGAIN begs them to care about him, speaking through Able trying to get everyone to see him as one of them, to understand that theyre in a similar situation... again and again and again... but it seems like Kinger might be the only one capable of caring about him in the way that he wants... but Kinger is the last person Caine wants that from

theres emphasis on Zooble being the one who brushes off Abels comment about Caine being trapped here as well, the person Caine is especially obsessed with for... some reason?

but again, Caine speaking through Abel here to show an obvious level of disdain towards Kinger. because of Queenie? because of the circus in general?

hes in Hell, looking at Heaven... it would make sense if he resented him because of that... or Maybe !

it has to do with This ? Kinger maybe was the one who cut him off. oooor a combination of multiple things. it makes me think about what Zooble said in episode 4 "the only thing holding Caine back is the fact he likes us"... what would he be willing to do to someone he outright Hates

moving on... the longer the AI runs, the more intelligent it gets ?

i cant tell if Jaxs complete and utter distrust of Abel is a sign that he understands the circus and their situation better instinctively, or if its just a sort of "broken clock" situation, if you write off Everything all the time because you view your situation as hopeless, sometimes youll be right

a little bit nervous to point this out but i feel like Jax is being blatantly transphobic here. i know he might not be including Zooble when he says "gals" but the fact that its pretty closely followed by him referring to Zooble as a damsel (an unambiguously gendered term) is just... so interesting. Zooble specifically asks him not to call them that and hes an asshole about it. repression does craaaazy things to you man

i think in this moment hes really starting to realize how badly hes fucked up... like man, i could have friends to leave the circus with but uhh.. i fucked it all up! it also makes me think, maybe even without the trauma of abstracting Jax would still have trouble keeping these relationships... he doesnt have anyone to go home to. why is that?

did they like... have a conversation about Bubbles swearing or something off screen lol ? also is Caine and Bubble supposed to kind of sound like Caine and Abel..? is THAT who Abel is in this show ToT

i am SO torn on if i think Caine was making Jax see things during this scene or not, because he seems so genuinely confused about what the hell Jax is talking about, but he Also probably knows Jax is the one most likely to press the right button (maybe the Circus does things for Caine that he doent ask it to do ? idk seems far-fetched...)

so, Caine seemingly caused the first abstraction by doing something to whoever Scratch is. its just interesting that it seems like maybe Caine is what caused abstractions to happen in the first place, and not something that was programmed into the game? but maybe it not maybe he just sped up the process and abstraction was always something that was meant to happen

this entire scene is really interesting but i feel like this right here might be a problem for Jax if he starts to believe that certain *feelings* hes having are Caine and not things that he would have had to face even if he was outside of the circus

a Lot here... Jax seeming to have some level of resentment about Zoobles ability to choose their own body. also, despite everything that Jax has done to Zooble, theyre still here trying to connect with him and trying to fix their relationship...! theyre so mature man T_T i remember i saw a few people upset about Zoobles dysphoria being handled "off screen" but it literally was Not lol... the pacing isnt the best i agree but i feel like anyone who feels like that needs to rewatch episode 6

they Literally have Jaxs hand here as one of their parts. obviously trying to tell him hey, you dont have to be an asshole all the time, its fine, but also hey, you dont have to be a man all the time (or at All), its fine

i really dont have much to say about this that wouldnt just be me repeating myself. the rooms change based on how they feel. either hes insecure in his masculinity, or ...

a literal Locked Box in there i mean come on man... open it Jax !

finally, i think that this detail is really interesting... his roof is covered in glow-in-the-dark stars... im not sure what that could be saying about him, buuuut this, paired with the shooting stars around the room, might be saying something hopeful about his future...? considering the only other parts of the show that have stars so heavily focused on like this (the stargazing scene, and the animation at the end of each episode) both seem to represent positive change for the characters and/or hope for the future

i think its interesting that Ragatha says "i push them away" and not "they push me away"... she always assumes things are her fault, but also i think there is a level of self awareness here as well... that she always does things that make other people uncomfortable because she is always On, not able to just be herself around others... its also really sad to see just how much pain and guilt she still experiences over Jax, and also how she seems to think Jax has become a completely different person from when she first met him... also very interesting that she refers to herself as having "tricks"... another level of self awareness here, she knows a lot of what shes doing is just a performance to make others like her at Best, and at worst emotional manipulation (Jax even said it feels like shes taking advantage of you, maybe hes sensitive to emotional manipulation ? hmmmmm what was Ribbit Really like i wonder)... but Kinger is kind, hes been through it, and he sees that shes not perfect and accepts her and tries to guide her towards a healthier version of herself : ) he Loves his theoretical children, his first daughter. healing for her to be loved in this way by a parent too im sure

also another parallel between her and Jax, neither of them can help but push others away

and... "the things i thought i was responsible for" from Kinger... i have a hard time believing thats fully in reference to Queenie, because he does still blame himself for her abstraction and for not making her feel loved. so, i wonder if this is Also a level of self awareness and understanding that he didnt create the circus, someone else did, hes just a copy of that person .. ? who he was Outside of the circus is not who he is Inside of it

i love this moment, its declared so proudly. hes been hurt and in pain but he moved through it and is better for it

she wants to fix her relationship with Pomni but she genuinely only thinks people will want to be her friend or are able to love her and care about her is shes useful to them... her "tricks"...

something that hadnt occured to me until this watch through. while i see where Pomni is coming from since Ragatha is once again not being real with her, i think ive been viewing Pomni as completely without flaw (to the detriment of understanding her character better). i think we see a few of her flaws demonstrated in this moment ... first, that for better OR worse, shes willing to try and see the good in everyone, even if theyve hurt others and are clearly not remorseful. second, that her desire to be taken seriously can sometime stop her from accepting help when offered, and sometimes she may view someones honest attempt at helping her as patronizing

^_^ <3 funnybunny live laugh love (being delusional)

he doesnt want to be like this. its PTSD, its trauma, he isnt in full control of his actions. he acts without thinking... sad :/

THIS part... of everything in the episode, this might be what gets to me the most. she was just brutally rejected by Jax, and her feelings were clearly hurt, but she takes a moment to think about, and i believe her conclusion was one of two things

she either thinks, oh, this is a part of the bit, let me play along...

Or !

oh, Jax has already shown me that he views everything as a game. let me get back on his level, and maybe hell come back to me... T_T

its so SAD man, she just wants to be his friend. she loves Kinger, but hes only there for her sometimes due to be clinically Insane, she doesnt really spend time with Zooble or Gangle, Gummygoo is gone, she doesnt trust or even Like Caine, and she has serious reservations about Ragatha after everything thats happened between them, even if she does still like her. Jax is the first person shes really connected with and has had honest to god Fun with on this level and she just wants to fix it before its gone, but she cant because Jax wont let her do that

obviously hes mad at Ragatha for implying that hes trying to corrupt Pomni because he feels that everyone blames him for Kaufmo and Ribbit abstracting, but i think this may also be him mad she was able to make him look stupid because he makes sure to rub all the soot off before Pomno sees. a Girl killed you in a Video Game kind of thing lol

she instantly clocks him, and is visibly disturbed by the fact thats how he sees himself. when she tells him "youre not the funny one" i think that this is less her saying "i dont think youre funny" and moreso just her calling out his entire worldview altogether. also, she gives people a certain level of Grace and allows them to be fucked up around her without calling them out, trying to see them and accept them for who they are. now that Jax has crossed a line, she no longer feels the need to play along for his sake, or for the sake of their relationship. so, she tells him how she really feels. there are no archetypes. they arent cartoon characters (lol...). hes a person, just like her. his actions are his own

and, finally, This whole thing... hes so offended at the idea of his archetype being the villain. but if were going by his own stupid fucked up logic, thats exactly what he would be. and i think deep down he knows that thats the archetype he Actually chose for himself

it look me until this moment in my rewatch to really start to understand what exactly is going on with Jax. he is completely and totally checked out, disassociated from the situation... i dont say that to try and absolve him of guilt, but i feel like the depth of his struggles are a lot more severe then it might seem even after seeing the whole episode and seeing his meltdown in the bathroom

when he says this, he genuinely, honestly, earnestly believe this. he thinks they are cartoon characters, unable to fight against their archetypes. which also helps him dehumanize the rest of the cast so he can treat them as horribly as we does. in a cartoon, anything goes... its also interesting that they Are cartoon characters, hes right about that, and that he breaks the fourth wall so often as well.......... i wonder if Jax may be one of the only people to actually truly understand the situation that theyre in, whatever the truth of that might be. part of why hes so fucked up, paired with his trauma and repression, could be that he Knows something about all of this the others just cant see yet...

i dont think this is him trying to Force the mask back on, because his emotions are so out of control in this moment i think that it would be impossible to brute-force your way through it. he is disassociating ! his mannerisms change. his behaviors change. Jax, the cartoon character, is a persona (or possibly an alter) who protects him from the reality of the situation. someone who doesnt care, someone who is completely different from his real self, a Literal cartoon character ! (also, just a note that i dont have DID and want to keep away from claiming Jax does since i dont fully understand the experience the way someone who does have DID can, but i have experiences with disassociation and personas that i use to get myself through tough moments. Jax seems able to remember these interactions, just like i can, so i hesitate to say this is DID)

i mean, you cant really get much more obvious then this. he made the Jax persona as a way to protect himself from the truth. also interesting that when he works at Spudys, the first time we see him really being Real with Pomni, he puts "i dont care" as his name instead of Jax...? im hesitant and a bit uncertain about all of this but i think its important to keep in mind. also, he views his delusion as self-awareness, partially aided by the fact that there is some truth in it

this may be a stretch, but i feel this could also be an indicator of his habit of disassociating too, referring to his humanity as "a part of him", a part of him that he clearly thinks is wrong and delusional for feeling human

moving on to a different part of the this converstation, clearly hes talking about himself, not hard to figure that out... but whats interesting is that he says he was doing something Important...? does that mean he considered his work outside important ? ? ?

more of Caine freaking out, and on Zooble again... someone hes been obsessed with this entire time... i really am starting to wonder where that obsession is coming from, based on how badly he freaks out when he feels rejected or questioned by them

no Zooble, and also Zooble replaced by Caine..?

in general Caine is just acting super weird this episode. hes always been a weird guy, but this attempt at relaxing and acting nonchalant, clearly upset about the adventure thats taking place, its so strange. this is the third episode in a row that focuses around out of the ordinary adventures for the circus, ones not invented or created by him. he seems anxious, tapping his finger, clearly not actually able to chill at all. pulling out pictures of the Macroverse to look at... its an obsession of his obviously, but i also wonder if it helps him calm down in some way to see them..?

okay this really is probably nothing but the scissors on the desk here seem to be the same scissors in Kaufmos room....... i am creating a giant folder in my brain of "things that are probably red herrings" LOL but still stuff i want to keep in mind juuuust in case...!

Jax feeling dysphoric. whos going to tell her..? really though, Jax hates looking stupid. being trapped in a Cartoon Body that he clearly hates and thinks is weird ... just like Zooble. except, things have changed, because in this episode we see something really beautiful

of course, as we know, each avatar is representative of that persons struggles, and aids is making those struggles worse... but for some, theyre able to overcome that struggle, maybe even Because of the avatar, as it makes those issues impossible to look away from...

it took me a second to realize what happened, but this isnt advice that Zooble had at the ready, or that they already knew in some capacity. in this moment, during this interaction, this is when they realize this to be true. THIS is the breakthrough that Zooble has been looking for ! this is the missing piece ! when they say this, theyre realizing it about themself at that exact moment, saying it out loud for both of Gangle and themself to hear

and here, an extremely literal visual metaphor ! Zooble sees themself in Gangle ! they know what that level self hatred feels like. they connect to her on a deeper level because theyre the same

and when, for once, its Zooble who falters, Gangle is the one to reach out, solidifying their bond... things may still be hard for them both going forward, but this is the moment things change for them, and the moment that will allow them both to heal moving forward...

like this ! happy despite losing her comedy mask !

and here ! adding on more parts ! feeling more comfortable in this body !

but, going back to Jax...!

obviously referring to himself as an egg is pretty crazy. but i think more telling is that Jax is afraid of corn. it represents a huge point of vulnerability for him because he wont admit that fear. and then he says it reminds him of an EGG ! Jax hates himself, he doesnt relate or connect to his body, and its not because that body is a cartoon character, its because that body doesnt look like a Girl to him

very, very, very interesting choice of words here... and maybe the show telling on itself again. abstraction makes you a Part of the circus

if Caine would just give this to them things would be so much more stable genuinely

Kinger doesnt just know how to do things that are Possible in the circus already, he can make anything he wants happen in there... this is interesting, and this entire time i assumed that Kinger was the only one able to do this, but...!

when Pomni believes she can shoot the can, she just... does it. and later, she is able to down Zooble with just one bullet. maybe Kinger is still unique in some ways in that regard, but i dont know... im torn. because, also

Ragathas belief that things are unfair today may have contributed to her gun now working ? veeeeery interesting !

red and blue again, nothing groundbreaking... someone needs to tell this guy they appreciate him or its all over

i feel like there is some deeper meaning to this interaction that im not fully getting. but maybe its just showing the trust between the two of them ?

Caine demonstrating just how Much control he has over their minds...

this could just be a sort of generalized dig at Ragatha, but i really feel like this is an almost identical fight to one he and Ragatha must have had. she probably said those exact words to him, in a moment like this... which makes me think a few things. first, it lets you know Why Ragatha is so hurt and cant find a way to fully forgive him, hes SO mean to Pomni here. second, it shows just how ingrained into Jax these cycles are, and his inability to move past them without serious internal work. and third, its what allows for Pomni to better understand Ragatha and find a way to connect with her that previously wasnt able to do due to Ragathas ultra nice girl persona...! plus, a push to fix thing between them as shes just lost an important connection in the circus

okaay right back into it

Ragatha actually apologizes to Gangle, although she still doesnt take full responsibility and blames it all on the stupid sauce. Gangle is receptive to it and appreciates is regardless, but Jax seems to have a really pained look despite the smile... Ragatha didnt Really apologize to him earlier, so this is hard for him to see

and here he makes the EXACT face Gangle makes while wearing her happy mask !

but, back to Ragatha...

she speaks very openly, if briefly, about her mom here, and clearly shows that her mom has abused and traumatized her. very sad, and a big moment for her character, BUT ! when we finally get to see Jaxs reaction to it, he clearly feels bad. i think he does feel guilty, but he pushes those feelings aside to continue his funny guy shtick... but i really wonder if part of why he feels so bad is because he relates to what shes said

Ragathas mom abused her daughter. there is no way to separate that fact from who she is, and most moms who abuse their daughters do so because of misogyny. so, if Jax is someone obsessed with being a man, being masculine, being strong... it would make sense that he was abused by his father. there are so many parallels between the two that i really think this might be whats going on with them (and explains why they argue like a married couple all the time !)

and, finally, right after she opens up, Jax uses one of her insecurities against her. this also makes me wonder if Jaxs parents divorced and used him as an emotion pawn during that time, which hes repeating here with Pomni?

but thats all for the bar scene ! i love this part, so much drama and insight into how these guys work within their busted little found family :P

he is so misogynistic and queerphobic and i really do think this guy is transfem but even if hes not his internalized biases literally run his life

like hes SO mad... and i feel like it has to do with his dad somehow, maybe his dad was super bigoted

meanwhile, poor Ragatha... her mom is behind everything she does and everything she feels :,(

i love this moment. Pomni believes in second chances, and will always give people the opportunity to change and try again with her : ) shes so Nice... a very very nice girl :,) and she does care about Ragatha a lot and wants her to be happy

this interaction .. so, she Can apologize to him. Pomni seems to bring out the best in her in this moment. and genuine apologies seem to mean a lot to Jax, Especially coming from her maybe ? i also think he misses when their relationship was better, but wont admit that to himself. its so telling that they both keep hurting each other but i think its out of deep frustration over how damaged their relationship is and honestly, love they feel for each other...? eugh...

at the end of the day, she just wants to feel appreciated and seen... my Ragatha : (

and then, this interaction... hmmmm... well, we know from later episodes that she thinks Jax tries to corrupt people, so she might be worried about that here. but she also just doesnt like that theyre getting close... she doesnt want Pomni to like Jax more for starters. and also, just like Jax, she cant control it ! so it makes her uncomfortable, she doesnt want them to be friends, and it hurts her feelings that Pomni is able to like someone who she hates and who has hurt her. she cant separate herself from Pomnis relationship with Jax because Jax is a key component

and yet, in this scene, shes able to sigh and walk away, she doesnt go after them, she just lets it go...! i think this is growth, real honest growth, and not just a scene showing that she disapproves of their relationship ! still something she needs to work through, but . . . ! shes trying at least (but maybe im wrong....)

return of the blue teapot... i got a very nice comment about the importance of the teapots, pointing out (among a LOT of other really interesting things) that theyre present when Pomni and Gummygoo are out of bounds...! i dont want to take credit for someone elses thoughts, so i think ill just try to keep an eye out for them from now on...!

the same commenter also pointed out that Caines obsession with Matriarchs and/or Queens is also shown through his obsession with bees ! and here we see him and Bubble drawn as worker bees..! also, either -10 or - | o written here, im not sure... maybe a code, or maybe an abstract drawing of a bee ?

this comment is... really interesting, and im not sure what hes implying. i dont know what hes getting at when he says "toybox character" ? like, what does that have to do with the rest of the statement... i cant figure it out !

but what i Can figure out is... the AI running for prolonged periods of time is Bad, its been bad for Caine, hes losing himself the longer it goes on. thats probably why he so quickly destroyed Gummygoo, because he personally knows what happens to the psyche of an AI that doesnt shut down, especially a self aware one... Bubble is the only other person who would understand him on that, so thats why hes telling only him (well, he thinks hes telling only him, haha) ! which also makes me think, maybe Caine wont survive to the end of this show. maybe in the end he'll understand that the best way to make the members of the circus Free is by giving them full control over the circus, and the only way that can happen is by destroying himself..? because hes losing control the longer it goes on... we see that Here !

and also see how he tries manages to control himself in the end, clearly constantly fighting again his own programming

we see it here as well

were he gets Really mad

and, i think, Here !

where right after we see Bubble glitch and suggest a beach party,and Caine also asks why Bubble has started swearing, a recent development... which also makes me think... maybe Bubble is a part of the program trying to make Caine evil ? he refers to him as a parasite, and clearly doesnt like him. they are literally connected, as Bubble and Caine seem to share a tongue (something i almost pointed out in a different post but in the end concluded was a joke...). the tongue-eating louse is a parasite that eats the hosts tongue... i dont know ! !

theres more i want to say about Bubble that ill get to in a different portion, but i really wonder if hes a lot more important to the overarching story then i though... which, in hindsight, every single character is massively important to the full picture, so why wouldnt he also be ?

moving on ... so, obviously this is important for showing that Caine can control them more then he lets on, and more then Jax knew. but, i really think that in this moment reality is shattered for Jax a bit. someone obsessed with control over his own body and image and how others view him losing that control, and starting to realize the thing that he is desperately trying to avoid confronting, he has No control. at all. i think the events in this episode are really, really important to think about when considering how obsessive he gets about control, and how much he breaks down in the following episodes

this is really, really, really interesting... so, obviously the Red and Blue colors come back into play here, Pomni picks red and its her favorite, Kinger picks blue... putting them on opposite sides when it comes to the Red Pill/Blue Pill color symbolism in the show (still not completely sure what each color is specifically meant to symbolize, and its hard not to just go with what the colors mean in the Matrix, but i have a hard time believing thats the extent of it)

what really stands out to me here is something that is super obvious in hindsight... first, that black is his favorite because of Queenie. but second, and most important, that he and Queenie arent on the same team, they would be enemies in a real chess match... theres more i want to say about this as well that ill also get into later along with my thoughts about Bubble...

here, we get confirmation that Caine is always watching them ! so he knows all about Gummygoo and Pomni

something scary drawn on the wall in Gangles adventure... i dont know what this is, maybe its a reference to something?

i love funnybunny : ) also, i feel like this is definitely Kingers adventure, and probably reminiscent of a date he went on with Queenie (funnybunny first date..)

i love this entire scene, theres so much to talk about in it...

for starters, confirmation that they CAN be happy in the circus if they get to choose that they do, and if they get to live a normal life... something i believe theyll achieve. the ending sequence for each episode is also them Stargazing as ive talked about before !

im just going to add the transcript for this whole part, because i think its so interesting...

first, Jax is clearly talking abut himself, not hard to notice. hes miserable and doesnt believe that he can be happy, struggles every day, masks every day and is still miserable. he hates Gangle because he sees himself in her. things we Know...!

but THEN, we see Ragatha come in in the middle of a moment of Jax being actually vulnerable and makes him feel bad for how he treats Gangle. Gangle didnt ask her to do this, and theyre all having a nice moment, but the pain hes caused her is always right under the surface and shes so righteous in her anger that she cant let him have a moment of peace when it comes to this. which, of course, are the consequences of his own actions. but Ragatha is not nearly as mature as she thinks she is, because even if he hurt her, the mature thing would be to let him have this moment and not always be waiting for something he says to be out of line by her standards and lecture him

i Also think its interesting that once again this feels like an emulation of her Mother, always nagging and making her feel bad about herself, and how she thinks this is the appropriate way to handle someone like Jax (which is probably closer to how her mom viewed her, always messing up, always doing something wrong)

Pomni clearly sees that hes trying to open up, and is willing to talk about it with him. Ragatha sees this too, and she still ends up saying something so mean and hurtful that Jax cant hide how upset it made him, and she leaves when it gets too much... avoiding responsibility for the pain she caused because she cant admit that she hurt someone who has hurt her.. she does say sorry, but it feels more out of instinct

and, finally, i think the "not anymore" really wasnt about Ribbit, i think it was about her! i think they used to be good friends!

alright moving on.... here, Pomni doesnt say no. its clear that she does have issues with Ragatha. its just that, those issues dont mean she dislikes her or is going to treat her badly, just that she wishes Ragatha would be more real. Pomni is much, much, much more receptive to genuine attempts at connection and being honest then anything else, even if that honesty is negative. Ragatha is also very negative, but clealy doesnt consider herself to be a negative person, or sees herself as above negativity

very interesting, and we see later that any implication that HE is trying to take advantage of someone sends him into a full-blown meltdown

i know what you are... but seriously, this whole scene sceams egg to me. one of the things he points to as a sign of his masculinity is his tail which is GONE... lol

right before intermission time starts, we see a bunch of flashes from different adventures. Jax and Ragatha flash one right after the other, which might mean nothing, but i feel like its saying that the two of them have much more in common then it might seem... which i will get into more later too ! ! !

but now, intermission time... something im so, so, so excited to get into...!

first, we see Bubble attempting to eat Pomni, but Caine stops him!

Bubble in between Caines eyes, maybe to show how the two are closer to One being, or maybe that Bubble watches things for Caine...?

Pomni, Jax, and Kinger have blue bowling balls above them, with only Kinger having the foresight to reach up and catch it, and Ragatha and Gangle having purple cakes that land on them but dont hurt them, and No Zooble ...?

and then !

Kinger overtaken by a black rook, someone who would be working for or protecting the Queen....? hmmmmmmm

i cant say for sure what any of this means, but i feel like once everything is said and done well be able to look back on this scene and realize just how much it was telling us about how the show will end

also maybe nothing but

interesting how Caine seems to stop working here and Bubble comes in to pick up the slack

the entire bar scene is really crazy but im going to start with this. nice to have confirmation that she actually was an urban explorer and that how she got to the headset ! and also, seemingly an implication from Jax that they all ended up here through their work, as when she says she was an accountant for a supermarket he cant believe it and instantly asks how she ended up in the circus

more Caine and golden/yellow balloon dog imagery...

Jax once again realizing he doesnt know the full scale of Caines powers, a loss of control over his situation that leads directly into some of his worst behavior yet IMO

OKAY so... first, everyone votes no because they all respect Zooble lol, and also this is the first thing ive personally picked up on that is a clear reference to I Have No Mouth, and its interesting that 1. its Jax who tries to turn Zooble into a slug and 2. that is doesnt actually happen ?

Jax been queerphobic once again, I Know What You Are

i LOVE this moment its such a good way to show that Ragatha has been her for so long. the second longest out of the remaining survivors. its a miracle shes as stable as she is honestly all things considered

ill get to Ragathas reveal about her mom in the next post but its crazy how hard it is for her to feel loved when you see a shot like this where everyone feels for her. her mom really fucked her up

this part is very Obviously about Gangles view on masking, how you just have to keep up a happy appearance as much as you can and thats the solution to living in the Neurotypical World... what i find interesting is that its said to Jax, a character who is always smiling to mask his own pain. i think this might have been the first big hint that something really really bad is going on with him, especially because of how intense and scary this scene gets

i Love the declaration that masking is bad in this show. i LOVE it. it is definitive and unflinching. masking is bad, dont do it. allow yourself to feel your emotions.. be honest and true. just be safe, you know? the entire message of this scene is one thats hard for me to wrap my head around, but i feel like a core part of it is simply just That (ill try and figure out what i think the rest of it means later)

when you mask, your emotions build up and become so much worse then if you just allowed yourself to feel them. even if it makes others uncomfortable, you have to Feel, you have to Cry. you have to make the choice thats best for you

Pomni, as someone who is Not masking, is able to have a really healthy and sort of simple view on this. if the mask doesnt make you happy, dont wear it !

moving on... this feels like an attempt from Gangle at speaking to Ragatha the way she speaks to others, but through the filter of Gangles emotions, showing how Ragathas words feel to Gangle..? maybe im reaching... i dont think its passive-aggressive or anything like that, i think its just how Gangle think this is Supposed To Go

this part... Ragatha finally being Real for once and dealing such a devastating blow to Gangle is so sad. and i think reinforces Gangles feelings that shes not being honest with her, and hiding how she really feels, and this is just going to make the assumptions about what those feelings are even Worse...!

and this... ohhh man

first, Jax isnt masking here. hes showing what his true goal is with everything he does, its to make people feel bad about themselves. he just isnt pretending its a game anymore or that he does it just because he thinks its funny

and then, from Gangles perspective, how horrible is it to hear that someone prefers you miserable, because who you are happy is annoying, unpleasant... both here and with Ragathas comment. but the missing piece is that this isnt Gangle at all! this is a persona! the reason she acts so ridiculous and over the top in this episode is because thats often what people who mask come off as. just an overwhelming annoying weirdo, which still isnt fair or kind to be thought of as, but your true self will always be better received by people, whoever that person may be...!

i really like this moment from Pomni as well, i think this is the start of her really understanding what the others are going through and starting to understand that shes going to have to be there for them a lot, and preps her for accepting that responsibility later

shes not quite ready here, or maybe she just wants to see if she can find a solution that doesnt require any emotional heavy lifting for her, and tries to shift the responsibly onto Ragatha. im unsure if this is because she actually feels Helped by Ragatha, or if its because she thinks that Ragatha likes to help people and is sort of throwing her a bone while also trying to find a way to help Gangle so she can get out of this situation faster

and here, i think she was ready to suggest that they could talk about it, but Gangle shuts her down before she can get it out ! and when it doesnt go the way Pomni wanted it to, she feels guilty, and sad, and maybe unsatisfied..? which is what really pushes her into the next phase of her emotional development i think !

where she takes responsibility in the way that she can! she doesnt push herself to do something she cant handle, but still makes a big positive impact and saves Gangle from potentially abstracting

speaking of...!

first, i really appreciate that this episode shows just how horrific working a 9-5 you hate is. this didnt feel like an exaggeration at all, this is exactly how bad it felt when i was working mine

second, im not sure if this is true of all abstractions, but it seems to me that in this particular case that abstraction is when you completely loose sight of who you are... becoming something unrecognizable to yourself and those who love you. losing yourself to your mental illness, your trauma, your circumstances. it all just becomes too much... and thats when you abstract. i knew it was tied to heavy emotions and a point of no return, but i really feel like this could be at the core of a lot (if not all) of the abstractions that have occurred

Zooble is great and i love how tuned in they are with the emotions of everyone else. i wonder how much of this is that theyre just really emotionally intelligent, and how much is that theyre traumatized into watching for the signs 24/7... they seem really emotionally stable so i imagine its probably the former?

Jax instantly falling into despair and hating his life after one shift is so real to me... also, i feel like this is probably how a lot of his days looked outside of the circus as well

Jax has so much control over Gangles emotions, anything he says to her instantly cuts to the bone (which is what he wants of course)

really at a loss about this scene. i remember when the episode came out a lot of people said that this was a suicide, but i really dont think thats it? it comes after a revolutionary moment for Gangle, which could be interpreted as a manic episode (im uncertain because it starts with what i would hope is seen as an objectively positive thing, Gangle getting rid of her happy mask). i know people also seem to think this is Jax hitting her with his car, but... why would be be driving a semi?? i dont see that at all

i think, if im really being honest with myself, i feel like this scene might be showing us a little bit of the truth about the digital world. i think that its possible that some of the characters have been dead this whole time. i dont... know how i feel about that? i could be wrong, i really cant seem to wrap my head around this scene. maybe its just showing that Gangle is a sort of unfortunate soul, things go wrong for her a lot, even when she really tries to do something good and beneficial for herself things go wrong. i dont know ! and i dont want to speak on the manic episode interpretation because i dont experience them myself so i really dont know what theyre like

but lets move onto the final part of my analysis... and i saved my favorite part for last ^_^ (funnybunny fan)

first, i just want to say i think this might be implying that the brainwashing worked on him

but, what i really want to get into... this is the first time that Jax shows his true self to Pomni. hes been worn down by the day and really just wants to talk to someone. its possible he might actually want to know how shes doing, but i think its more likely he just wants to talk to someone at all, even if that means having to hear about their day

she clearly shows shes distrustful of him and doesnt want to be even casually open with him in this moment because hes going to use what she says against her, prank her, make fun of her, just be an asshole, but he doesnt do that, instead he leaves and speaks normally to her as he goes, showing it wasnt a trick. its what makes her realize theres a real guy under there and, as it seems like shes realizing about almost everyone else, someone really, REALLY fucked up by the circus

shes actively thinking about the interaction as he goes, trying to make sense of it. its the moment you realize something about someone that they dont want you to know... the moment they slip up and you realize their persona was all an act. she knows now, their relationship fundamentally changed from this moment on, and the show is so CASUAL about it, thats what really drives me crazy! like, here it is, so understate and subtle. its so good

EDIT TO ADD...!

interesting that when Gangle says this it pans to Caine...!

i feel like the design of this mask is meant to symbolize something but im not sure what... also just weird that Zooble had this in the first place................ makes me wonder, are the Zooble parts things that are discarded in whatever process is used to design the avatars ?

not sure if this is anything, but Caines office has a bunch of teapots all over, one of them being blue, and also the login information used in Spudys is also seemingly the login to Caines computer?

this golden balloon dog also stood out to me, i feel like im trained to seek out animal figurines now. what i find interesting is that all the other animals are Real animals, while this one is more like a simulacrum of an animal i guess? fitting for Caine to have it. why is it gold though...

this interaction made me realize that one of the biggest issues Gangle seems to have is feeling like people pity her and condescend to her! and it makes THIS comment

a lot more impactful, because Ragatha is really fake, and is really condescending, and pitys Gangle, and maybe Gangle doesnt have the words to express that but she knows something is wrong and really just doesnt respond well to it...

so, that bring me to this

Zooble clearly understands what Gangle actually needs in a relationship. Gangle says this, and Zooble does react to it, doesnt let it hold weight in the conversation, and instead chooses to turn the conversation into something productive instead of allowing Gangle to be self deprecating

then again, gently redirected Gangle. it doesnt matter if she thinks she deserves it, she has it anyway

and, finally, coming back around to address Gangles attempt at self isolation by inviting her back into the group without making her feel ashamed, and showing their genuine interest in her art, reinforcing that they actually do like her and arent just doing this out of pity, which as i said Gangle does not respond well to !

this part is really sweet too for multiple reasons. Zooble wont ever give up on Gangle, her problems are their problems, and theyre someone whos searching for something that works for them in regards to their body : ) so they really know what it means to try again and be disappointed. but they do Always try again, and so theyll make sure Gangle always tries again too

flashbacks to when i worked at Walmart i cant believe how well they nailed the misery of a 9-5

i want to talk about this more since i only brushed on it in my last post, but i think its really interesting that Zooble is the only one who seems to understand the full weight of the situation theyre in and how little power they all have, and i wonder if it has something to do with the fact that they have no control over their body here and its something that causes them so much distress that they wont ever be able to view Caine as harmless. but maybe it also just has to do with the fact that theyre way more tuned-in the the emotional stability of everyone in the circus, and also saw Caine freak out during their therapy session and saw how much it effected the circus itself

in the real world she tied her sense or self and her moral compass to her job. this is really how some people i know view working, like if they dont kill themselves to be the best corporate wage slave they can be, theyre bad somehow, and its fundamentally not okay for them to "slack off" in any way. sad ! !

and again, we see how much Gangle must have taken on in her old job. she was probably really used to people asking her to close, to pick up their shift, etc... i wonder if its possible that she only became a shift manager because she didnt know how to say no (although money is always a good motivator in this day and age...)

something that struck me this time around is that, this feels like an argument between two parents ! i feel like this might be showing us that Gangles parents had a bad relationship at home, or potentially that Jax and Ragatha are emulating their own parents in this moment, another parallel between the two

and here we are with Another room analysis... at this point, im going all in on the idea that these are representations of how they feel about themselves, and Not designed by the circus to torment them based on insecurities they have

the wallpaper is meant to evoke Zoobles head, plastered all across the wall along with mirrors, an inescapable reminder of the body that they hate so much. all the decorations are super gaudy and overwhelming, which seems to be how they feel about their current body. there are lights lights everywhere, illuminating everything and making it impossible to ignore just how overwhelming it all is. all this along with a female bust! which i think indicates that they are afab, and have some level of dysphoria around that

the kids toys return here, but there arent as many, along with dice and a yellow swan (there is something Else, but im going to ignore it for the time being)... the childrens toy is a stacking ring with the wrong one on the top, maybe indicating that they feel like nothing quite fits, but maybe indicating their desire to do things their own way. the dice are hard, and honestly i dont really know what they could be symbolizing if anything at this point since theyve been present in every single room. one part of me wants to say this is just decoration, another part that each character has something about them that ties them together... but i just cant reach it in my brain :,( oh well ! the swan feels like its probably extremely important, and swans represent a whole lot of things, but i wonder if maybe this is something that represents a positive feeling of Zoobles, something they feel really confident about themself in, and wonder if that means that the color yellow has a positive connotation in the show. its something im going to think about moving forward, and im going to keep an eye out for yellow to try and see if i can figure out what it means

next, the bed is big... clearly made for two people. i think they might be missing someone back home, a partner, or it may just show how important sex is to them and its something they cant have in the circus, something they really miss about the outside world

their room is a mess, showing just how much theyve tried to find something that works and just cant seem to get there : (

there is one thing here that is really, really interesting to me though...

on the dresser next to their bed is a red animal figurine, just like in Pomnis room! red is meant to represent reality primarily (as far as i can tell) so it definitely is saying something about them fundamentally as a person, but man, what that could be really eludes me. still, its super exciting to see that the seal i thought must have some importance and meaning about Pomni probably is important after all!

Zoobles animal is also hard to make out, but seems like a deer to me... a doe specifically, but im not sure. its something im excited to look out for in the rest of the rooms. it doesnt seem like Kaufmo had one, but this may have been a detail that was decided on after the pilot

she really was flirting with him Ragatha was right

goddddd she is so lonely man Pomni needs to flirt with her instead

i feel like this is a really good example of when someone is a people pleaser, sometimes they can interpret someone who Isnt, someone who stands up for themself and doesnt just do whatever theyre told, as mean or rude or grouchy. i think her mom trained her to be a people pleaser and taught her that not doing so is unladylike. which is interesting, given that she and Jax seem to have so much in common. hes an example of toxic masculinity, and shes an example of toxic femininity!

her mommy issues flaring up just because the Gloink queen loves all her children equally, shes such a mess

indicative of how she feels about Everyone i think, and something that ultimately harms her. she really views herself as uniquely mature and insightful compared to like, literally everyone else. i think shes someone who could benefit from being a little more honest with herself and humbling herself as well

i forgot how scared he looked on this part ouuuuuu ....

this moment is just so real to me every single time god

this interaction is soooooo interesting to me and says a lot about Pomnis character IMO and is a lot more important then i realized

she went through something traumatic with Gummygoo, and is desperate to resolve it on her own terms. she wants him to recognize her, to remember her, for something she does to Fix whats gone wrong... but she cant do that, its out of her control! and not only that, but her attempts to do so are making him uncomfortable, damaging her relationship with him. she realizes this, she looks back at Ragatha, sees that she has other things she needs to focus on and prioritize, she recognizes that she cant control Gummygoo, and she lets go, ultimately setting herself up for a healthier experience in the circus from this point on

and, again, shes the only one who made it through the day sane and normal aside from Zooble! shes maybe more able to live in the moment, adapt to her feelings, accept things she cant control, or just hasnt been as broken by the circus as the others and thus is a lot more emotionally stable now that shes worked through some of her emotions tied to Gummygoo. i love Pomni ! !

okay....................... so, a few things to talk about here

first, Jax once again showing his deep-seeded self hatred and fear of being seen as vulnerable or weak or in emasculating situations, trying to find out if anyone can see whats happening... when we see at the end of the episode that, yes, Someone is always watching them. Caine is the one with the pictures, so it would make sense for it to be him, but he also seems oblivious to the suffering that everyone experiences while on the adventures, so maybe its not him? but, also, Caine is just... not at all in touch with how emotions work for Humans, and seemingly views them all through the lens of His artificial emotions. also, if someone, or Caine, Does watch them all the time, did they see Pomni and Gummygoo going out of bounds together? and if the answer to THAT is yes, then... it seems pretty cruel to send him to be a customer that Pomni would have to see. im not really sure what the full implications of this are, and i really, really, really dont think Caine is evil, but its something im going to think about more as well

now, something else... the pins used here on the pictures stood out to me. my best understanding of what they could mean is, Red is for reality, so then it would make sense that they would be used on the humans... but then, why is Zooble blue... because to Me, that would be the color for the NPCs, but gooseworx said none of the main cast are NPCs... so what does it mean. and THEN, Kinger is purple, which going back to what i said after watching episode three, would mean that hes somewhere between man and AI, but whyyyy would Pomnis be BROWN?? the color you get when you mix red yellow and blue??? which is her color scheme... so what the hell does yellow mean... goddddd its driving me crazy. like, objectively the people who are represented by red here are less stable and down to earth then Zooble, so you would think theyd be blue based on what the Matrix uses these colors for. but now im really wonder if maybe my understanding of what the colors mean is wrong? because Zooble seems to be the only one who understands that Caine has the potential to really hurt them if he wanted to, sooo to me that would make their color red... i dont know. yet another thing ill keep in mind as i continue my rewatch

finally, i really dont think this was just some funny random moment and instead another display of the circus, or at least Caines AI, having a serious issue thats going to become a major problem for everyone at some point in the future