The suffering fool

I always loved her

I made mistakes but I loved her

I just wish she knew that

I just wish she knew how much I hurt

I'm sorry Z

6 years later and I still hate myself for leaving and hurting you

But I never stopped loving you.

I know we've both changed but I'll always love you no matter how much you want to hurt me

I still have hope that someday you'll pop back, and tell me how sorry you are for who you were.

But..maybe its better we just forget about each other. Forever.

Sigh

I wish I didn't have severe ptsd and get triggered when I see anything that resembles her..

It hurts so much.

Every time I hear the key I see you in the melody It never was a part of me Wow, I hate this song Each time it comes on I hate this song Each time it comes on

La-la-la, make it stop La-la-la, heard enough La-la-la, holy fuck I don't wanna sing along La-la-la, make it stop La-la-la, heard enough La-la-la, holy fuck I hate this song (I hate this song)

Shut it off Swear I never even had a chance. Notes are hitting. makes an avalanche Damn, this is miserable Please won't someone shut it off Break the record right in half Heart feels like it's being stabbed Kills me emotionally

Every time I hear the key I see you in the melody It never was a part of me Wow, I hate this song Each time it comes on I hate this song Each time it comes on

La-la-la, make it stop La-la-la, heard enough La-la-la, holy fuck I don't wanna sing along La-la-la, make it stop La-la-la, heard enough La-la-la, holy fuck I hate this song

Why am I so broken

I want to be held and told its okay

I want to be possessed and loved

I just want the pain end

The thoughts of her

The fucking thoughts

Are either:

A. Pot smokers and/or one night stand supporters.

B. Taken or engaged

C. Single mothers

D. Good Christian girls who only date Christian men.

E. Do nothing but post Instagram and snapchat selfies to boost their over-inflated ego and only date douches with the same level of Egos. (Usually of a certain race).

F. Unattractive girls who are just nasty. (Nasty as in mean, people)

(To be fair: All the guys here are no better if you’re wondering:

A. Rednecks

B. Military

C. Have a criminal record

D. Non-white.

But that doesn’t stop the girls.)

And here I am, barely 5'4 and none of those.

Oh yeah mom. REAL potential here.. Fuck my life.. I hate this godforsaken hellhole All the “good” girls who don’t smoke drink or fuck and are fairly attractive have been swiped up. I shit you not. After highschool/18 It’s fall in love or get leftovers. Literally. It’s like,

Going to a party 5 hours after it ended, There’s some crumbs left in the chip bowl and you can have this pizza box to knaw on. If you’re thirsty all we have left is bottled water. Enjoy asshole!

-_- (It’s like why even go to the party then? You’ll just be as miserable as you are now.)