( ? ! ] 𝖌𝖗𝖎𝖓 N' 𝑩𝑨𝑹𝑬 it,

Hearts, Angela Strassheim

1. Shot in the Heart.

2. Cancer Heart.

3. Teen Drug Overdose Heart. 

what are you thinking? how are you feeling? what have we done to each other?

i felt i needed to shoot something.

we've never fucked in a bookstore.

you know i have to kiss you now.

sometimes i want to punch us in the face, we're so cute.

when you're upset, you bottle up.

brought you a present.

i need you. now. touch me.

that's very sweet of you and very unnecessary.

pour me a bourbon, would you?

it's a bad day.

i'm so crazy, stupid happy.

i met a boy. a great, gorgeous, sweet, cool-ass guy.

things could get ugly.

whose beer am i drinking?

i prefer men who are funny, not "funny."

i'm the guy to save you from all this awesomeness.

it's hard to believe you. i think it's your chin.

you are way too into that cat.

tell me how it ends.

i'm not someone who hits the panic button, but... it's weird, right?

you mind if we look around?

so what do you do now? for work.

perfect, time for a quick tour of my failings.

i love your parents, but they can be assholes.

people want to hear from you.

i thought that'd be embarrassing.

i am here on a strictly journalistic capacity.

[name], you are beyond amazing. you are incredibly smart but entirely unsnobby. you are kind, but never a martyr.

you surprise me. you challenge me.

isn't it time we fixed that?

we're going to take this very, very seriously.

i go there for the quiet.

we're still not sure what we're dealing with.

please don't take that tone with me.

everyone told us... and told us and told us... marriage is hard work.

technically we're supposed to fuck at the next stop.

books, sex, bourbon... life is good.

i knew you shouldn't have moved back here.

maybe i'll teach you a thing or two.

i'm a little drunk.

let's swear we will never be like them.

everything else is background noise.

why are you throwing that in my face again?

it's like you're daring me to be someone i don't want to be.

i'm not that person. i'm your wife.

suddenly i knew everything was about to get worse.

i'm asking you nicely.

everyone is projecting their shit onto me.

i feel like i could disappear.

i've been so worried about you.

i don't want to fight. i just want to be with you. that's all i want.

you fucking lied to my fucking face.

for valentine's day, i thought i'd buy a gun.

you have to fucking talk to me!

i'm not going to be scared anymore.

this man of mine may kill me.

men always use that as the defining compliment, don't they? she's a cool girl.

i will admit. for someone who likes to win, it's tempting to be the girl every guy wants.

we were happy pretending to be other people.

i need to show you something.

see we have the same taste in men.

you're reading it again? you know how it ends.

whatever the hell they found, we have to assume it's very bad.

everyone would hate me.

why are you so good to me?

my defense is the truth.

i've never seen it in my life.

i feel myself fading.

i just said what you wanted to hear.

take off your clothes.

i'm a fighter. i fought my way back to you.

kiss my cheek.

you're not at risk anymore.

you know you can sleep with me, right?

we should hold hands.

you called me a murderer.

i haven't touched you.

i find i have to be the sad clown: laughing on the outside, crying on the inside.

i went ahead and ordered some for the table.

when you're married, you'll understand the importance of fresh produce.

we've got guns here.

he just told you to shut the fuck up.

the things i take pleasure in, i can't do.

don't you ever say you hate life.

oh, poor you!

so what, no fucking ziti now?

you want compromise? how's this?

i'll keep this short and sweet.

you're weak. you're outta control. and you've become an embarrassment to yourself and everybody else.

sometimes it's important to give people the illusion of being in control.

are you in the mafia?

tomorrow i can be on time, but you'll be stupid forever.

let me tell you a couple of three things.

you're not gonna believe this.

a wrong decision is better than indecision.

i'm like king midas in reverse here. everything i touch turns to shit.

if you can quote the rules, then you can obey them.

we're soldiers. soldiers don't go to hell. it's war. soldiers kill other soldiers.

we're in a situation where everyone involved knows the stakes and if you are going to accept those stakes, you've got to do certain things.

there's an old italian saying: you fuck up once, you lose two teeth.

someday soon, you're gonna have families of your own and if you're lucky, you'll remember the little moments like this that were good.

hey, i don't even let anyone wag their finger in my face.

it's good to be in something from the ground floor.

those who want respect give respect.

is this a woman thing? you ask me how i'm feeling, i tell you how i'm feeling, and now you're going to torture me with it.

lately, i'm getting the feeling that i came in at the end. the best is over.

my father was in it. my uncle was in it.

maybe i was too lazy to think for myself.

buy land, 'cause god ain't making any more of it.

i don't care how close you are. in the end, your friends are gonna let you down.

family... they're the only ones you can depend on.

take your hat off.

teddy roosevelt once gave an entire speech with a bullet lodged in his chest. some things are just a matter of duty.

some people are so far behind in a race that they actually believe they're leading.

sometimes we're all hypocrites.

other people's definitions of you, sometimes they're more about making themselves feel better. you gotta define yourself.

people only see what you allow them to see.

death just shows the ultimate absurdity of life.

you know when i was depressed i said i didn't want to live? well, i'll tell you something. i didn't want to die.

that's why dinosaurs don't exist no more.

don't touch that! my program's coming on.

i wish the lord would take me now.

our existence on this earth is a puzzle.

she had much to say. this world didn't feel right. in fact, it felt wrong. was she a lie? was her existence merely a game? everything was questioned solely for the purpose that she felt new to the world. new to society and socialization outside of her sisters and her maker. the five-in-one. the ones celeste would go to hell and back for ( at least that's the phrase that she was taught to say? ) if there was anything she knew for certain : is that they were girls she loved. girls she'd protect. whatever else felt fake in the world, whatever else celeste didn't feel real about herself - that is what she held onto. " why did you separate us for todays session? we were just joking last time. " the blonde leaned back into the table, " i don't always think you show up looking like you rolled out of bed. only maybe three days out of the week. "

her       words       stew       in       that       ꜱᴛᴀɢɴᴀɴᴛ,       𝘷𝘢𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘭𝘺       𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘥       air       between       them,       𝗡𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥     𝗤𝗨𝗜𝗧𝗘     𝗦𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚     𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗢     𝗦𝗜𝗟𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘.       doctoral         notebook       balances       𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺       on       a       nylon-dulled       knee,       her       pen       𝖘𝖈𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌       in       languid       bursts       of       notation       –       𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎     𝚜𝚑𝚎     𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚜,     𝚑𝚘𝚠     𝚜𝚑𝚎     𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚜,     𝚝𝚑𝚎     𝚌𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎     𝚘𝚏     𝚑𝚎𝚛     𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎       –       a       𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆       𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀       display       of       𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐘       delivered       with       a       goadingly       evaluative       glance.       the       distinct       𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬       of       specificity       in       her       existing       paperwork       makes       it       a       ᴊᴜꜱᴛɪꜰɪᴀʙʟᴇ       provocation,      *&.       𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍     𝒔𝒉𝒆     𝒔𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒓𝒔     𝒕𝒉𝒆     𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆     𝒄𝒓𝒖𝒆𝒍𝒕𝒚     𝒐𝒇     𝒕𝒉𝒆     𝒈𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆.

“   whilst       the       𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚙       sessions       have       been       very   . . .       𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗳𝘂𝗹 ,      i       thought       it       𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵       be       about       time       i       ɢᴇᴛ     ᴛᴏ     ᴋɴᴏᴡ       you       girls       on       a       more       𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐔𝐀𝐋       level.   ”       𝚝𝚑𝚎     𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚝𝚎     𝚕𝚒𝚎     𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚙𝚜     𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚕𝚢     𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚝     𝚢𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚍     𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚑   ;       vindictively       claiming       her       misconceived       autonomy.