Here in These Deep City Lights

When you're a week away from payday but aren't even looking forward to it because pretty much all of your money has already been allotted for bills and the meager amount left over is supposed to cover food and gas for the next two weeks... Honestly if this is what it means to be an adult I'd like someone to please revoke my privileges and send me back to being a child. I would gladly let someone else take care of everything for me at this point. I'm so tired of feeling like I can't get ahead. I work my ass off 40 hours a week (and then some when I'm allowed to get overtime) and yet I still feel like I'm spinning my wheels. I know things wouldn't be so bad if a certain job hadn't fallen through for Paul and his Uncle and I'm trying so hard not to be upset or frustrated about it but sometimes I can't help it. I sometimes catch myself thinking "hey it'd be nice if he would just step up and take the initiative to do what needs to be done already so that we can stop scraping by." I hate that I'm thinking like this and I know posting this is totally passive aggressive and that I should really talk to home but I don't know what else to do at this point. I'm so stressed I'm sick to my stomach and I don't know how many more times I can have the same conversation with him about actively looking for a full time job. I get that he loves working with his hands and being able to go and work outside while sub contracting with his uncle or best friend but I don't think we can get by much longer on what our combined take home is right now. I'm scared to think about what's going to happen if something doesn't change soon...

That awkward moment when you have a completely inappropriate dream about your best friend. Made worse by the fact that it dredged up old feelings you thought were gone.

My cat is so weird. He's still skeptical of tuna but the instant you have fruit around he's all over you. As of tonight there's a new favorite. #cat #catsofinstagram #kitty #mainecoon #dsh #fruit #peach #sillykitty #Sebastian