Good Times

...got a new car.

...worked 4 months in a windowless basement.

...cut my own hair.

...helped low-income people file taxes.

...rented out an elementary school gym for Friday evenings volleyball.

...got yelled at by numerous volleyball players.

...went skiing with a GoPro.

...sang in an Easter choir.

...discovered a new favorite artist.

...gained a greater appreciation for Chinese music.

...went to the most electrifying concert of my life.

...ate my second favorite all-you-can eat Korean bbq.

...biked along the eastern shore of Manhattan.

...drove go karts in Battle Creek.

...figured out how to drift in Mario Kart.

...lost arcade games to, ate dinner with, and hugged a pop star.

...got free tickets to a Big House futbol (not football) game.

...bought pink futbol cleats.

...dated for the first time.

...finally watched Hamilton live.

...went to Asia twice.

...avoided jet lag once.

...saw my extended family in person again.

...had a taxi driver take a pit stop to use a public restroom in China.

...had a taxi driver save my walking legs after I missed the last subway at midnight in Korea.

...battled OCD and suicidal thoughts.

...fell out-and-in love with making photos and music.

...realized the importance of loving myself.

...learned about Al Capone, Tibet, and leathermaking.

...shared hard and good times with my roommates.

...came up with good fantasy sports strategies.

...gained my parents’ support.

...became a master of recording board games stats.

...found uncertainty but also reassurance in God.

...made it through even when I didn’t want to.

Inspiration tells the story of how Lecrae gave his life to God and in return God opened up his eyes to do better not only for himself but for others.

[Verse: Lecrae] Uh, where else I'm gonna turn? My backs is to the world see these bridges I done burn? For every truth I learn I grow a little weary I see how far away from you, everybody is clearly And all the folks who near me The one's that I love dearly Don't know the truth about you So I hopping that they hear me uh um Hear Ye, Hear Ye all of the above What could warm a blacken heart and fill it full of love? It feels like just the other day when every thing was hopeless Up hell's creek without a paddle and a boat I wasn't really living, I was living for the moment And now I only live to see clear, so help me focus It lies all around me My partners cars cloudy He just wanna escape the cesspool that got em drowning Your spirit surround me Can't nobody see it though Every once in a while somebody tell me they can see a glow I quit getting high, and not because I'm better then But your spirit working in me making me a better man Know you got a better plan and all this ghetto living This drug dealing, pimping, exploiting all of these women My family still in prison I thought that I escaped it For years I was chained to sin following Satan The only way to make it, for me was take a plea I gave my life to the king who died on a tree And he ain't make me richer He ain't make me taller He ain't give new legs to my cousins little daughter He gave me something greater than anything I done seen He gave himself to me, he live in me boy I'm clean My guilt all gone, Shame all gone I still feel pain yet the rain gonna come But one day he gonna get all these folks he call his own And takes us on that long ride home, I'm gone

Lecrae’s 2nd song on his album “Rehab” explaining the dangers of promiscuous women, and how they “kill” our relationship with Jesus Christ.(Proverbs 5:8).

[Verse 1: Lecrae] Uhh! I know it's gon' kill me but I just can't let it go And the, taste so appealing's got a grip upon my soul These, honey dip lies mesmerize me Pride's got its crooked fingers twisted all inside in me Fools walk the path I'm on, never to be seen again Sippin on seduction while we eatin on some secret sin (No one will never know) says the whisper in my ear And I know I should be over this but I ain't seein clear And I ain't leavin here, unless somebody save me Walkin to my grave, lettin evilness enslave me Evil looks so lovely covered in her lace of lies And the silky smooth seduction just manipulates my mind Her fabrical fabrication is fuelin my fascination While I'm intoxicated she starts her assassination I'm losin all my honor and my years to the merciless Givin all my life away but I'm just so immersed in this (killa)

[Hook: Natalie Lauren] Baby this is innocent (killa) It won't even hurt a little bit (killa) I'm only here for your benefit (killa) I'm your every wish (killa) Come on and let me in (killa) Baby this is innocent (killa) And it won't even hurt a little bit (killa) Close your eyes and let's get lost tonight (killa) It'll be alright (killa) You'll see I'm not a (killa)

[Verse 2: Lecrae] Her feet go down to DEATH, so don't let her consume you Even though her heart is black, her exterior's beautiful She'll take yo' life away, and strip away yo' joy Pretends that she gon build you up but she just gon' destroy you My friends fell low, when they was so high Got me runnin scared of myself, no lie And I know I'm gon' die, I tried cold turkey But when I'm feelin worthy, Satan's sure tryin to merk me I'm doin myself dirty, flirtin with what's perverted I should follow the word but I guess I'd rather be murdered {*ahem*} Excuse me I mean martyred, cause I'm killin myself My sin conceived a baby, and we gon' name her Death Breath {*gasps*} taker, she take my breath away Replaces it with poison, and I'm so swept away I need some prayer today, hope I wake up before they start my wake up Somebody make me break up, I'm datin a (killa)

[Hook: Natalie Lauren] Baby this is innocent (killa) It won't even hurt a little bit (killa) I'm only here for your benefit (killa) I'm your every wish (killa) Come on and let me in (killa) Baby this is innocent (killa) And it won't even hurt a little bit (killa) Close your eyes and let's get lost tonight (killa) It'll be alright (killa) You'll see I'm not a (killa)

Link to my Korea photos, go to end of album: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10156719722985739.1073741874.566325738&type=1&l=8d9d18151a

Link to part 1: http://jerryshi734.tumblr.com/post/176288417908/an-afternoon-with-taeyeon-a-musing-on-fandom-part

 …At that point, it was 4 months away from meeting her in person. In a 'typical' person's excited state, I posted this on Instagram.

My IG is connected to my Twitter, so it also posted there. I woke up the next morning with a bunch of Instagram and Twitter notifications from random fans, some who recognized me from Omaze's blog:

http://blog.omaze.com/red-winners-2018/. (On a side note, after my more recent post, of course it was way more.) The initial aftermath made me think of some things, amplified by the current aftermath.

1.    Why do we tend to be drawn toward celebrities? I believe part of it is that we admire their talents, part of it is that we want to be adored (but not sometimes hated) like them, part of it is that we're made to worship something.

2.    Sometimes it's unexplainable why cool athletic, artistic, cinematic, musical, commercial, scientific, philanthropic, etc stuff leaves us in awe. I believe there is inherent beauty (or darkness, the other side of the coin) in everything, and people are designed to be moved by beauty and darkness. The people who produce the most perceived beauty (which can come as a result of having talent, influence, or money that enables them to do stuff we 'normal' people we can't do most of the time) are the people we're drawn to more, even if we don't know them personally.

3.    We want to love and want to be loved. Love is a fundamental part of the human experience. The love we feel toward our favorite celebrities is, or at least should be, quite different from the love we feel toward God, family, and friends. When I was younger, I 'loved' my favorite celebrities without thinking about it much. Usually stuff like their talents, looks, and fame. I never felt like I was over-the-top (unlike many people I've seen on social media, especially related to Taeyeon and the sweepstakes ha), but I never questioned why I 'loved' them so much in the first place when I would (probably) never know them personally and there were plenty of times I wasn't loving toward my family, friends, and community who were right in front of me.

4.    When I started to get a bunch of comments + messages on Instagram + Twitter + Youtube, it was kinda a cool feeling, and I thought maybe they would follow me and like my music and photography in the future haha. But let's be real, they're only interested in me cuz I had the experience with Taeyeon. Nothin wrong with that, I'm just some random guy who got lucky and got to have that experience, they wouldn't be interested in anything else beyond me unless maybe I was a celeb myself. But at some moment, I remembered what Taeyeon said about SM Entertainment rarely doing intimate fan engagement stuff like this, how there’s been bad experiences with certain artists in the past, and I thought to myself, James and I are actually playing an important role in all this. Not to sound overimportant, but I believe we were SONE’s representatives that afternoon, and our attitude and behavior could really impact whether SM wants to do fan events like this in the future. I thought we represented ourselves, SONEs, and Michigan USA well. And afterward, I’ve been (blocking a few haters and) replying to other curious fans’ IG messages, and they’ve been appreciative of my responses. It’s not much, but a good attitude goes a long way.

5.    Dang, I picture what it's like for a celeb to get bombarded with comments + messages. Of course I believe sometimes it's important to do some stuff with fans to show you care about them personally (assuming the company isn’t restrictive ha), but it's basically impossible to meet or reply to all your fans while still doing your career stuff, family stuff, other life stuff, ya know. And there will always be crazy 'fans' who are dangers to the celeb (and hate on me online). I treated her with love and respect, treated her the way I’d treat anyone I don't know too well personally but greatly admire. And she was super cool and friendly, after the starstruck beginning it felt like having a good time with a good friend. I had an amazing (omaze-ing) time, and I know she did too.

Final point, it's easy to 'worship' celebrities, but ultimately we should worship God and love others. What’s the ‘right’ way to be a fan? Of course there's no 'right' answer, and I'm not gonna get into it here, for now I’ll just say use wisdom. As much inspiration and great athletic, artistic, cinematic, musical, commercial, scientific, philanthropic, etc achievements (hopefully reflecting Jesus’ nature) others can give us, God is the one who holds it all together. I will always have many questions about God and the nature of how stuff works (https://www.howstuffworks.com/), but I hope that I, and all of us, can live in a way that demonstrates that Jesus is the foundation upon which we build our lives and the rest of the beauty all around us.

After I wrote this (on the plane), I felt it was kinda long, so I'm gonna publish part 2 later and have em link each other.

Link to my Korea photos, go to end of album: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10156719722985739.1073741874.566325738&type=1&l=8d9d18151a

Link to part 2: http://jerryshi734.tumblr.com/post/176517564898/an-afternoon-with-taeyeon-a-musing-on-fandom-part

So I just got back from S Korea, where I met Taeyeon thru winning an Omaze (https://www.omaze.com/) sweepstakes. How did I become a fan in the first place? Not terribly interesting, but I’ll do a post sometime if there’s popular demand ha. Of course part of it is the music. Here’s my piano cover of my favorite of her solo releases, I: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbVG_TUszO0

 Anyways, the timeline that afternoon was approximately like this.

·         ~2-3pm: James and I took taxi from hotel to SM Entertainment main office. There was a slight logistical snag because Omaze said M and A from SM would meet us there and give us a tour of the HQ, while they actually went to our hotel to give us a tour of SMTOWN at the Coex (http://www.smentertainment.com/LifeStyle/CoexArtium#), right next to where we were staying. So they came back to SM office, and it worked out. Taeyeon arrived ~2:40 I think. Of course I was starstruck at first, but I became natural quickly because she was so nice and relaxed, first asked us how we’re doing and what we did in Seoul so far. I forgot what else we talked about first while we drank some refreshments from SM café (https://www.kpopmap.com/made-in-korea-thursday-sm-entertainment-sum-cafe-seoul/).

·         ~3-5: We drove to Legend Heroes arcade (https://www.habkorea.net/koreas-new-concept-screen-sports-theme-park-legend-heroes/) for the entertainment part. I was sad we couldn’t ride in her van with her because there were 4 of us, and she had 2 of Girls Generation’s managers with her, so we couldn’t all fit haha. Traffic was heavy cuz heat index was actually over 100 degrees F all our days there, so many people were driving rather than walking or biking I think. On a side note interacting with M and A was cool too. They’re both also Taeyeon’s age, and I’m 4 years younger. M is bilingual cuz she went to school in Canada for a while (like Red Velvet’s Wendy haha), and she was my translator. (My friend James is native Korean and fluent.) The arcade was so much fun. Taeyeon said it was her idea to go. She was good at all the games, we did archery, pitching baseball, bowling, curling, fruit ninja (https://www.instagram.com/p/Blo8Dc1Blo_/?taken-by=taeyeon_ss), shooting zombies, whack a mole. She beat me and James most of the time haha. She picked most of the games, while I picked Mario Kart with Wii wheel cuz Mario Kart Wii is my favorite video game. We were pleasantly surprised the other people playing there didn’t swarm her haha.

·         ~5-7: We drove to SMT Seoul (http://www.smt-seoul.com/en/#) for the dinner part. It’s a fancy SM restaurant. We had a private room. There was really good Korean-style tapas like fried chicken, noodles, budaejigae stew, fancy dessert cake, and other stuff I don’t remember because I didn’t touch my food at all half the time. I’m not at the comfort or liberty to share all the stuff we talked about, but some of the stuff we talked about were like how she’s her recent Japan tour and other international activities especially in USA, how I became interested in Kpop and her and Girls Generation’s music, some of her and SM’s fan engagement and music making processes, what we all like to do in our free time, where her puppy Zero’s name came from (Nightmare Before Christmas haha). The most meaningful part for me was when I shared about how music and her music too helped get me through my dark times in 2016-2017, and she shared too about her recently hard times, and we got to encourage each other. At the end, we exchanged gifts and took final pics. James and I got SM gift bags including her Something New album, James gave her a University of Michigan (where we went to college) athletic shirt, I gave her a framed photo I took in Ann Arbor where I wrote a message on the back, mostly in English, a bit in Korean. (By the way, I’m Chinese-American. I’ve been self studying Korean for fun and cultural appreciation starting a year ago.)

·         PS ~7-7:30: After Taeyeon had to leave to go to her training activities (which she told us was a secret, preparing for a comeback??), I finally ate most of the food as James and I chatted more with M and A, then we all took a taxi together, us back to our hotel, them back to their homes.

So how this happened, it started in January when I saw an Instagram ad for this campaign: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/taeyeon-dinner-red?ref=taeyeon.

(Here's where I'd normally go on a stream of consciousness about how do we steward our resources? how do we decide where to spend our money + time? why do these issues like HIV or everything else still exist? why does science + other things seem to break through so slowly? what are the mechanics of how God is actually working in this? In my OCD these thoughts naturally just come, and they're good to think about (in moderation?) but I'm not gonna talk about it here cuz it distracts from my actual points. End stream of consciousness.)

 I looked up the company a bit, and they seemed legit, so I decided to donate, take a shot ha. In Feb, I found out I won, nice. Two employees from the company Facetime interviewed me and made an awkward video out of it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAqN0p_7UeQ. (Also, you should read the comments.) The next day, they made it official and sent me the legal forms.

On “Outro,” NF writes about the story of his journey to the top of the rap game, his motivation for making music, and also the emotions he has experienced from pain in his life.

The music video showcases references to the previous music videos from his last album Therapy Session, as well as a few others. At the end of the video, NF stumbles upon a ring of keys.

These are the same keys he had used to lock himself inside of his “mansion” (the thoughts and struggles in his mind), as described in the song “Mansion,” as well as all throughout the Mansion album. In the album Mansion, each song (depending on the mood) is placed in one of five “rooms” in his mind that he has trapped himself inside of. This is further supported because there are six keys were shown: five keys for the five rooms, and one key for the front door.

Perception is about NF escaping his mansion—his trapped thoughts—finally being able to put his past behind him, and focus on his life without any more worries or self-doubt. That being said, he he is also, once again, letting us inside of his rooms like in Mansion.

[Verse] I'm dedicated, the definition of dedication Wrote this whole record while I was levitating Sittin' in my room with the pen and paper, I'm innovative They've been afraid of me since I was a second grader I'm the kid on the playground mama told you to never play with There's levels of music—and I'm in the elevator Going up to the top floor, look how we elevated What, you don't know the brand by now? You better get educated Take both of my arms, rip 'em out the sockets and separate 'em Forgive me, yeah, I know I get animated Don't matter, I still write a better record than yours without a hesitation Never been more motivated Just look at all the minds I have opened and penetrated See, I am the voice of all these kids that think things, but never say 'em That's why they come to my shows wearing the NF hoodies and hats low like we're carrying weapons, ah! Put the controllers away, it's game over I promise I'm way colder The fans keep saying that they're hungry for new music Well that's pretty convenient 'cause I just made a plate for 'em And I don't hear what none of y'all are saying I just sit at the keys feeling the music Got me thinking I'm Beethoven The game needs a makeover If you've been waiting, the wait's over You ain't notice, y'all about to witness a takeover, I'm home! Yeah, they waiting on me to match the Emotion that I had in the last one What if I don't, they gon' tell me that I'm losing my passion? If I do, am I repeating my actions? Yeah, look, "How Could You Leave Us" is massive There ain't nothing I can write that'll match that My biggest fear writing this record wasn't putting out trash It was disappointing myself and the fanbase Now I want you to picture me: I'm in a hotel rapping, crying on the floor of the bathroom Staring in the mirror, my room, hands shaking playing "How Could You Leave Us" through the speakers on my iPhone Tryna figure out if I'ma always feel the way that I feel or maybe someday I can learn to be happy Or maybe I can't be, 'cause if the music ain't emotional enough, are they gon' call me a has-been? Pain's always been the root of my music If I cut it off, how am I supposed to keep growing If I let it go, won't my whole career be in ruins? That's when I realized this whole conversation is stupid I never cared to impress people that don't even know me I just write what I feel, somehow it started a movement Trying to enjoy a career, but I don't know how to do it When I spend all of my time being afraid I'ma lose it! But, then I figured out the reason they follow me The reason why these fans surrounding me It's not 'cause I'm a "Rap God" I don't need you people to bow to me All they ever did was doubt on me, now everyone's proud of me Acknowledge me or not, you ain't ignoring the following I'm just teaching 'em something they couldn't learn in they colleges This is for the kids feeling like they live at the bottom and every day of they lives, feels like it's darker than Halloween! Yeah, you ain't alone out there, look around you—we got a lot of fans in here Couple hundred thousand, that's what we did last year Listen to Intro III, trying to kill my fear They'll get that in a minute We about to shatter the critics I am a savage, admit it A lot of baggage I live in That's why the passion is different Really don't care if they get it We're only three records in it and this is just the beginning I'm home!

“I want to be somebody who frees people spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically. I want to bring that spiritual element back to hip hop and have us investigate, ‘what are we doing with our souls?”

[Verse 1: Lecrae] They out here prostitutin' kiddos Fill they pockets with dinero Pedophiles, pitiful Sell a child to centerfold Take they innocence, put in on the internet Purities tainted, dignities shaken Enslavin' the soul of all of these babies And freedom got a price nobody payin' Makin' money, American dream ain't it, nah! It's a nightmare, don't fight fair for white here Benjamin Franklins, killin' we hate for him Write a song justifyin' the lies we take for him, hold up They ain't with me, I'm willin' to wait for 'em Lil' me sat up on the porch, thinkin' dolla bills Stomach filled from another meal that my momma killed still I can't keep still I'd probably steal to keep a couple of Nike checks on the back of my heels Grandma back on them pills I need a stack of them bills They say we slaves to the money I guess we back on the field I'ma go pursue my happiness, they told me it was free But I'm still payin' for it, I'm indebted to this thing Heard a prophet say the profit, don't focus on makin' change Just focus on tryna be it and maybe you'll make a gain Maybe you'll free the slaves, maybe you'll bring a change The destinations are different but everyone's on the train [Chorus 1: N'Dambi] Freedom isn't free But I still, I still believe in my freedom So my mind can see Please let me be free, please let me Freedom [Verse 2: Lecrae] I'm out here chasin' this freedom They out here choppin' my feet off And if they catch me I'm Toby, but I ain't 'bout to believe it King Kunta, or king of coonin', or Kenan & Kel Rather rot in a jail cell than be up in hell, well Well done, is you cookin' or is you hearin' your Father say, "Well done"? Is He lookin' at all your honors? Modestly I'll be honest, I'm hangin' onto that promise 'Cause honestly I ain't really been everything that I oughta Oughta be on my Harriet, bury me next to Honest Abe Here lies another man murdered for tryna free the slaves I gave Chief Keef my number in New York this summer I told him, "I could get you free", I'm on my Nat Turner Back burner, cookin' up a fat burger While we shuck and jive to a song about a crack murder Know we need a change but we threw it on the stage Got some money and a soul and neither one of us saved Slaves, get free [Chorus 2: N'Dambi] Freedom, it isn't free But I still, I still believe in our freedom So my mind can see Please let me be free, please let me be free Freedom

On “10 Feet Down,” NF talks about his life after gaining popularity, and how people often want to get to the top so bad that they forget why they even did it in the first place.

The track is a slower track, similar to “Remember This” and “My Life.” It also features the only feature on the album, Ruelle. This song was used in the NBA’s pump up video, “The Response.”

[Intro: Ruelle] Cold nights, cold nights, long night Staring down at an empty cup like I'ma fill, I'ma fill it up All night, all night Ten feet down nearly my whole life But I'll be rising, rising up [Verse 1: NF] Yeah, I know the person in the mirror's not a perfect one I look at him every day and think he's not enough My life's a book that I don't really like to open up I'm twenty-six, but I feel like I live in chapter one I skim through it, I've been through it, they laugh at us You think it's funny, yeah, laugh it up I always felt like no one listened to me, that's how I grew up Church is where I found God, but it's also where I learned to judge Yeah, I had to learn there's a difference between What you want, and what you really need I've always been motivated by comments from people tellin' me Things they think I'll never be, and then I become it, this is my everything There's so much that goes on in my head that people will never see You probably be terrified of my memories, don't lecture me Let me be, let me see, let me breathe, how they remember me Doesn't alter who I am as a person to take my energy, yeah [Chorus: Ruelle] Hard days, cold nights Staring down at an empty cup like I'ma fill, I'ma fill it up All day, all night Ten feet down nearly my whole life But I'll be rising, rising up Cold nights [Verse 2: NF] Yeah, my fans made me who I am, but they also deceived me I've been allowed to live life like I'm already grieving I'm at a table of lies, but don't eat what they feed me My hoodie over my face, so nobody can see me I'm on a plane, 'bout to fly again Looking out the window, take a moment to admire it Wondering how high it is, wonder where the time has went Then I shut the window and go back to feeling like I'm out my mind again, agh! Yeah, seems like we're all trying to climb a ladder It's crazy what we'll do to climb it faster It's like we throw away the things in life that really matter Just so we could make it to the top and wonder what we're even climbing after I know the feeling of feeling like everything that you deal with Don't never change, that's part of being a human, yeah Life's what you make of it, take it, embrace it, and take it, and savor it Ain't about what you did, it's what you became from it, agh! [Chorus: Ruelle] Hard days, cold nights Staring down at an empty cup like I'ma fill, I'ma fill it up (oh, yeah) All day, all night Ten feet down nearly my whole life But I'll be rising, rising up Cold nights [Bridge: Ruelle] We all want what we never had The good life doesn't seem so bad The good life doesn't seem so sad Yeah, we all want what we never had, whoa [Chorus: Ruelle] Hard days, cold nights Staring down at an empty cup like I'ma fill, I'ma fill it up All day, all night Ten feet down nearly my whole life But I'll be rising, rising up Cold nights [Bridge: Ruelle] We all want what we never had The good life doesn't seem so bad The good life doesn't seem so sad Yeah, we all want what we never had [Chorus: Ruelle] Hard days, cold nights Staring down at an empty cup like I'ma fill, I'ma fill it up

In the fourteenth track of Lecrae’s fourth album Rehab, Lecrae collaborates with Andy Mineo (at the time known as C-Lite). This track explores an artist who demonstrates his vulnerability by admitting that he must submit his plans and aspirations to God.

[Hook: Andy Mineo] I could play the background I could play the background Cause I know sometimes I get in the way So won't You take the lead, lead, lead? So won't You take the lead, lead, lead? And I could play the background, background And you could take the lead [Verse 1: Lecrae] It's evident you run the show, so let me back down You take the leading role, and I'll play the background I know I miss my cues, know I forget my lines I'm sticking to your script, and I'm reading all your signs I don't need my name in lights, I don't need a starring role Why gain the whole wide world, If I'm just gon' lose my soul? And my ways ain't purified, don't live according to Your Word I can't endure this life without Your wisdom being heard So word to every dancer for a pop star Cause we all play the background, but mine's a rockstar Yeah, so if you need me I'll be stage right Praying the whole world will start embracing stage fright So let me fall back, stop giving my suggestions Cause when I follow my obsessions, I end up confessing That I'm not that impressive, matter of fact I'm who I are, a trail of stardust leading to the superstar [Hook: Andy Mineo] I could play the background I could play the background Cause I know sometimes I get in the way So won't You take the lead, lead, lead? So won't You take the lead, lead, lead? And I could play the background, background And you could take the lead [Verse 2: Lecrae] I had a dream that I was captain of my soul I was master of my fate, lost control, and then I sank So I don't want to take the lead, cause I'm prone to make mistakes All these folks who follow me, gon' end up in the wrong place So let me just shadow you, let me trace your lines Matter of fact, just take my pen, here, you create my rhymes Cause if I do this by myself, I'm scared that I'll succeed And no longer trust in you, cause I only trust in me And see, that's how you end up headed to destruction Paving a road to nowhere, pour your life out for nothing You pulled my card, I'm bluffing, You know what's in my hand Me, I just roll and trust you, You cause the dice to land I'm in control of nothing, follow you at any cost Some call it sovereign will, all I know is You the boss Man, I'm so at ease, I'm so content I'll play the background, like it's an instrument [Hook: Andy Mineo] I could play the background I could play the background Cause I know sometimes I get in the way So won't You take the lead, lead, lead? So won't You take the lead, lead, lead? And I could play the background, background And you could take the lead [Bridge: Lecrae] I know I'm safest when I'm in Your will, and trust Your Word I know I'm dangerous when I trust myself, my vision blurred And I ain't got no time to play life's foolish games Got plenty aims, but do they really glorify Your name? And it's a shame, the way I want to do these things for You, yet Don't even cling to you, take time to sit and glean from You Seems You were patient in my ignorance If ignorance is bliss, it's cause she never heard of this [Hook: Andy Mineo] I could play the background I could play the background Cause I know sometimes I get in the way So won't You take the lead, lead, lead? So won't You take the lead, lead, lead? And I could play the background, background And you could take the lead

[Intro: Benjah] I don't wanna be alone (x6) (goodbye x2) [Verse 1: Tedashii] Tears hit her checks Like Tyson's glove Pain hits us hard As she fights for love She says "don't go!" But the call came It's time to deploy And they called his name Close to zero-five hundred Her mind starts wonderin' Butterflies, tummy starts rumbin' Queasy, uneasy tryin' to hold it all together She doesn't want their last moments here to be unpleasant The car ride is quiet Outside it's hard to fight it Inside it's like she's dyin' That's where she started cryin' He tries to comfort her "Baby it's alright" Liar! That's what she screams louder from the thoughts of fright They pray "It's okay, I promise that I'll be safe" That's what he tells her as he looks her in the face And as he walks away looking in her eye Last kiss as they say [Hook: Benjah] I pray this is not our last goodbye, goodbye I pray this is not our last goodbye, goodbye (goodbye) [Verse 2: Tedashii] Graduation Her nine weeks are done Hoorah, hoopla Now it's time to move on Leavin' out of basic She just got her assignment She's headed off to war and it's hard for her to face it Or face her The daughter that she's leavin' It's hard to come to terms with the truth No one believes it And even when it's staring in your face You don't receive it She hears "mommy" And it's just like her heart stops beatin' (beatin' x2) Inhales, heavy breathin' Worried when she leaves she may not be back to see them Her baby girl, and the family that she loves Tryin' to hold back the tears right now it's tough She fights to stay strong Gotta hold on She says a prayer Just tryin' to find a calm Thoughts of eternity Then back to reality In fear she tells her family [Hook] [Outro: Benjah] I don't wanna be alone I don't want I don't wanna be alone, no (x8)

On “Remember This,” NF talks about growing in his music, many struggles in life and living for a reason in life. The main theme of the song is about how you shouldn’t let people decide what you do with your life and that you need to make your own choices in life. He’s saying not to go with the crowd, rather you should strive to be yourself, not what society wants us to become.

[Chorus] Yeah, they say when we grow up You'll understand when you're older Guess I'm still a kid, I don't know it If I'll ever let go of this (yeah) Say goodbye to the old me We ain't friends anymore, you don't know me (real music) I know I could die any moment If I do just remember this [Verse 1] Yeah, handouts create lazy people I'm not impressed with You want something in life, then why don't you go and get it? Actions speak louder than words do, it's pretty quiet, isn't it? Look at the world we live in, defined by comment sections Surround yourself with people that challenge how you think Not people that nod their head and act like they agree Those people will cut you open just to watch you bleed Always be yourself, not the person that you pretend to be, no! These people gon' tell you that you will never make it Then when you do, they gon' say they knew you were goin' places That's just how it works, next thing you know you'll be overrated Hearing people say they miss the "old you," it's crazy, ain't it? And perfect people don't exist, so don't pretend to be one I don't need pats on the back from people for my achievements When I die I wanna know that I lived for a reason Anyone can take your life, but not what you believe in; no [Chorus] Yeah, they say when we grow up You'll understand when you're older Guess I'm still a kid, I don't know it If I'll ever let go of this Say goodbye to the old me We ain't friends anymore, you don't know me I know I could die any moment If I do just remember this [Verse 2] Yeah, don't take opinions from people that won't listen to yours If money's where you find happiness, you'll always be poor If you don't like the job you have, then what do you do it for? The cure to pain isn't something you buy at liquor stores, nah The real you is not defined by the size of your office The real you is who you are when ain't nobody watchin' You spend your whole life worried about what's in your wallet For what? That money won't show up in your coffin, woo! Yeah, anger's a liar, he ain't got no respect I fell in love with my pain and I slept with my regrets Happiness saw it happen, maybe that's why she up and left Joy called me a cheater, said she ain't coming back I've always had a problem with relationships But that's what happens when you see the world through a broken lens Mistakes can make you grow, that doesn't mean you're friends Who you are is up to you, don't leave it up to them, no [Chorus] Yeah, they say when we grow up You'll understand when you're older Guess I'm still a kid, I don't know it If I'll ever let go of this Say goodbye to the old me We ain't friends anymore, you don't know me I know I could die any moment If I do just remember this [Verse 3] Yeah, they say you got into music, you signed up to be hated That's kinda weird cause I don't remember signing my name up Coming from people that give advice but never take none I like my privacy, but, lately, I feel it's invaded I heard that life's too short, don't let it pass you by We waste a lot of time crying over wasted time It's not about what people think, it's how you feel inside My biggest failures in life are knowing I never tried, woo! I look at the world from a different angle People change; even Satan used to be an angel Think twice before you're bitin' on the hand that made you Don't believe what you believe just 'cause that's how they raised you Think your own thoughts, don't let them do it for you Say you want a drink, don't wait for people to pour it on you Cut out the lies, stay close to the people you know are loyal Grab your own glass and fill it, don't let your fear destroy you, woo!

“All I Need Is You" is a classic love song about Lecrae made for his wife. This song was nominated for a Grammy for Best Rap Performace.

I came to the conclusion a long time ago that I’m a better man with my wife by my side. She doesn’t complete me – God made me a whole man without her – but she enhances my life and makes me a better me. She knows me in a unique and intimate way no other woman has or ever will. With that insight, she can see through my clichés and defense mechanisms. It’s a power that she wields for my good. No one else can replace her because no one has the intimate understanding and oneness with me that she does. I’d be lying to myself to believe that another woman could quickly fill her shoes after her years of investing in me.”

He discussed the meaning of the song with MTV, saying, “When you see Jay Z and Beyonce, [you think], okay, marriage is cool now. They set a trend and I think that’s healthy… It’s just continuing with that trend of — what if we’re monogamous? What if we’re consistent in our relationships? What if we tell the truth? What if we don’t lie? What if we don’t cheat? What if we love somebody and we’re not afraid to say it in a hip-hop song? You’ve gotta continue to set trends and be different.”

[Intro: Tasha Catour] All I need is you All I need is you [Verse 1: Lecrae & Tasha Catour] Keep me in my timezone when my mind's gone When I'm flying home And I'm stressed out and I'm tempted to get that styrofoam And go pour it up, but you know what's up And you know that ain't gone solve nothing I mean Lord forbid I might fall or something And I'm all or nothing cause (all I need is you) To hold me down like bed straps to the psych ward It's killing me but you still with me when I fight hard And (all I need is you) You digging me when I'm 'igging you Get with me when my card's pulled Coulda dealt with me but you fell for me 'fore I fell for you (all I need is you To keep me on that right path and the right math Cause you plus nothing is everything You my everything, saying (All I need is) You, ain't gotta question my allegiance Cause the way you love me I could never leave ya, I need ya [Hook: Dustin "DAB" Bowie & Tasha Catour] (All I need is you) By my side, thick and thin Highs and lows, don't let go (all I need is) We gon' ride, we gon' win Don't know how, all I know (All I need is you) [Bridge: Dustin "DAB" Bowie & Tasha Catour] You, you're all I ever needed You're all I ever needed (All I need is) You, you're all I ever needed You're all I ever needed (All I need is you) [Verse 2: Lecrae] How did I fall in this? No condition that get a mention but you offered this (all I need is) Unconditional love, I swear I sell it all for this I'm tryna keep it together, forgive my awkwardness (all I need is you) But umm, often it's just you and me off in this Valley of shadows and I know they trying to pick me off in this But all I need is you It's funny just how off I get when I ain't riding with you No adjectives for your awesomeness They burning one for that burn out This life in God, I'm all turnt out Took time out to put time in so I turn to you when I'm worn out All I need is you You slow me down cause you know me now with my phony smile And I'm acting like it's all copacetic It's so pathetic, so juvenile Know what you do You keep me cool in the summer When they be dressing less and I be wanting to show off and stunt There ain't nothing to want, you give me all that I need (all I need is you) All I need is you to keep that fire burning for me All I need is you (you) [Hook: Dustin "DAB" Bowie & (Tasha Catour)] (All I need is you) By my side, thick and thin Highs and lows, don't let go (all I need is) We gon' ride, we gon' win Don't know how, all I know (All I need is you) [Bridge: Dustin "DAB" Bowie & Tasha Catour] You, you're all I ever needed You're all I ever needed (All I need is) You, you're all I ever needed You're all I ever needed (All I need is you) [Verse 3: J. Paul & Tasha Catour] Ain't nobody gone get in the way Put that on my money in the bank Cause you do what them others can’t (all I need is you, you) And I love that, yeah (all I need is you) We gone ride till the rims fall off Above it all, we can never fall, yeah Hold my hand, we can have it all Hold my hand, we can have it all [Hook: Dustin "DAB" Bowie & Tasha Catour] (All I need is you) By my side, thick and thin Highs and lows, don't let go (all I need is) We gon' ride, we gon' win Don't know how, all I know (All I need is you) [Bridge: Dustin "DAB" Bowie & Tasha Catour] You, you're all I ever needed You're all I ever needed (All I need is) You, you're all I ever needed You're all I ever needed (All I need is you) [Outro: J. Paul & Tasha Catour] You always pick me up when I'm feeling down You always make it better for me some how All I need is you, cause all I need is you All I need is you All I need is All I need is All I need is you, you, you All I need is you

“Wings” explores the consumerism that Macklemore feels plagues not only the youth but everyone in American Society: The idea that your worth as a person is intrinsically linked to the monetary worth of the items you own and the reliance on materialistic items to fit in.

“ I didn’t go into it thinking I was going to be nostalgic and reminisce about my childhood and then bash Phil Knight in the second verse. It was more of a realization in the process of writing it. That wasn’t a plan to it. I think it’s something that I struggle with, and I think a lot of sneakerheads struggle with it too. Sneakers are a huge part of my life, but on the other aspect, they are extremely expensive. Sometimes it’s excess. Do we really need these 30-40 pairs of Jordans in the closet? What does this really mean? How does this define myself as an individual? Do these shoes make me fresh? I had proposed and thought about these questions before, but I never broke them down. This song was my attempt to break down my own, conflicted interest in the sneaker culture.”

[Verse 1: Macklemore] I was seven years old When I got my first pair And I stepped outside And I was like, "Momma This air bubble right here It’s gonna make me fly" I hit that court And when I jumped, I jumped I swear I got so high I touched the net, "Mom, I touched the net! This is the best day of my life" Air Maxes were next That air bubble, that mesh The box, the smell, the stuffing, the tread In school I was so cool I knew that I couldn’t crease em My friends couldn’t afford em Four stripes on their Adidas On the court I wasn’t the best But my kicks were like the pros Yo, I stick out my tongue so everyone could see that logo Nike Air Flight, book bag was so dope And then my friend Carlos’ brother got murdered for his fours Whoa See he just wanted a jump shot But they wanted his Starter coat, though Didn’t wanna get caught From Genesee Park to Othello You'd get clowned for those Pro Wings, with the velcro Those were not tight I was trying to fly without leaving the ground Cause I wanted to be like Mike, right Wanted to be him I wanted to be that guy I wanted to touch the rim I wanted to be cool And I wanted to fit in I wanted what he had, America, it begins [Hook: Children Choir] I wanna fly Can you take me far away Give me a star to reach for Tell me what it takes And I’ll go so high I’ll go so high My feet won’t touch the ground Just stitch my wings And pull the strings I bought these dreams That all fall down [Verse 2: Macklemore] We want what we can’t have Commodity makes us want it So expensive, damn I just got to flaunt it Got to show em So exclusive, this that new shit A hundred dollars for a pair of shoes I would never hoop in Look at me, look at me I’m a cool kid I’m an individual, yeah But I’m part of a movement My movement told me be a consumer and I consumed it They told me to just do it I listened to what that swoosh said Look at what that swoosh did See it consumed my thoughts "Are you stupid? Don’t crease 'em! Just leave 'em in that box!" Strangled by these laces, laces I can barely talk That’s my air bubble and I’m lost, if it pops We are what we wear We wear what we are But see I look inside the mirror and think Phil Knight tricked us all Will I stand for change Or stay in my box These Nikes help me define me But I’m trying to take mine Off [Hook: Children Choir] I wanna fly Can you take me far away Give me a star to reach for Tell me what it takes And I’ll go so high I’ll go so high My feet won’t touch the ground Just stitch my wings And pull the strings I bought these dreams That all fall down [Outro: Macklemore] They started out With what I wear to school That first day Like these are what make you cool And this pair, this would be my parachute So much more than just a pair of shoes Nah, this is what I am What I wore, this is the source of my youth This dream that they sold to you For a hundred dollars and some change Consumption is in the veins And now I see it’s just another pair of shoes

“Wake Up” is NF’s message to people who are struggling with life. People can’t appreciate the good in life or fix the mistakes that they have made because they’re “sleeping”. This “coma” separates happiness from the life we have been given by God. The song, with the help of producer Tommee Profitt, gained the eyes of Capitol CMG, getting NF a spot as an artist, and Profitt a spot as a producer. This song was featured in a promo for NBC’s Chicago P.D.

[Intro] You spend your life in a dream that you can't escape Cause you live your life in a coma, you're never awake If you'd open your eyes then maybe you'd see what's at stake You're sleeping, you're sleeping [Verse 1] You make a lot of money and you live in a mansion And pretty much got everything that you could ever imagine But you feel like even though you got everything in the world You got nothing So what you do then is you start going backwards You runnin' in a direction And you lookin' for something that isn't real And all you know is that you just gotta have it What you're doin' is sleepin' And thinking that you're awake and you're not And the problem is that you don't know what you're after So you put everything that you have into what you do Hoping that one day maybe you don't have to feel like you're empty But as you get older a lot of weight on your shoulders is getting heavy Then you look back and you start to regret things You only get one life And every time you lookin' at yours You feel like everything you have is a waste! And the problem and the reason you could never fill a hole in your life Is because you were never awake [Hook] You spend your life in a dream that you can't escape Cause you live your life in a coma, you're never awake Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up! Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up! Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up! Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up! [Verse 2] You wake up in the morning But you feel like you never got up and go to work And you feelin' like you ain't got a purpose And you tryna get motivated but everything you do turns into a mess Like you ain't nothing but worthless And, yo, you look around A lot of these other people you lookin' at To you, you describe as perfect So you point a finger at God and tell him to do his job And fix ya' life up cause nothin' is workin'! And you will try to hide and make it seem like it's nothin' But really you feel like everything is crashin' around you And you develop a problem in trustin' in other people Which later became an issue that would mentally pound you! You only get one life But every time you lookin' at yours you feel like all you ever see are mistakes And the problem and the reason you could never move forward in life Is because you were never awake Wake up [Hook] You spend your life in a dream that you can't escape Cause you live your life in a coma, you're never awake Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up! Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up! Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up! Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up! You spend your life in a dream that you can't escape Cause you live your life in a coma, you're never awake