Here Goes Nothing

Rhaenyra Targaryen’s necklaces

Grab a bag, a box, doesn't matter just something, even a laundry hamper.

Put everything you need to do in it for the morning. If you workout, put workout clothes in, if you take meds, put those in, plan to shower? Hell put your towel and wash cloth in

Hairbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, a bottle of water, homework, charger to bring to work, if you do meditation or journalling, put that shit in there

When you wake up, it acts as both a todo list, and takes away the whole "im so overwhelmed because my brain cant comprehend all the things we have to do and is making this a bigger deal than it is" part

It really helps me (i have adhd and autism)

I have an older brother, Jake, who was seven; then me, Hellen, age five, then Seth, age three, and my little sister Gin would have been one. It was late August, and we were at our nanny’s house, though she was gone for the day. Bob was in charge.

Bob should probably not have been in charge.

Bob tried keeping us entertained with board games and tag and movies. Gin took a nap. Eventually he decided to get creative, and sat us down in the living room with a game and vanished into the garage. There was a smashing sound. And then some saw noises. And then some hammering. And then we saw him going around the house to the back yard through the windows, though we were too short to see what he was doing. And finally, he yelled to us to come out into the driveway. 

Jake and Seth and I trooped out. Bob had both hands behind his back. He stepped up to Jake and revealed what he had in his right hand. 

It was a wooden sword. It was clearly made from what appeared to be parts of a chair’s legs, cut down and nailed together. He presented this, and announced, “You are Sir Jake, the strongest knight!” 

He stepped up to Seth and presented what was in his left hand. It was another wooden sword, smaller than the first, also crudely made out of chair legs. He announced, “You are Sir Seth, the bravest knight!”

At this point, I was practically vibrating in place, waiting eagerly for my sword so I could use it to whale on my brothers, as god intended me to do. I was therefore understandably disappointed to be presented with the business end of a garden hose and told, “You are Miss Hellen, the Water Fairy!”

“No,” I said. “I want a sword.”

Bob was confused. “But you get water magic! Magic’s great!”

“No.” I repeated, holding the hose. It had a spray nozzle set to jet. “I want a sword.”

“Magic’s great. Magic’s better than a sword.” Bob insisted. “You’ll see. Wait here a moment.”

And then Bob ran around the side of house and vanished. 

We stood in the driveway. Jake and Seth poked each other with their swords. I spritzed them idly with the hose, trying to decide which of them would be easier to steal a sword from. 

And then we heard a quiet wooshing noise, and smelled smoke. 

We turned. As we watched, a line of fire rushed around the corner of the house, consuming a path of gasoline poured into the dry August grass. 

We paused and considered this for a few moments. I raised the hose and sprayed a jet of water at the fire. It went out. We glanced at each other. Then we took off running, following the trail of fire, spraying as we went. 

The fire led in a path around the house to the back yard. As we turned the corner, we saw Bob, clad in a bathrobe and holding a curtain rod, standing in the center of a large ring of burning grass. He cackled manically. “I am the FIRE WIZARD! Your puny swords are useless! Nothing but water magic can defeat me!”

I promptly blasted him with the hose. He spluttered. The fire did not go out. 

I turned the hose on the fire itself, spraying a section close to us so that it would extinguish. As soon as there was enough room, Jake charged forward, brandishing his chair leg sword with a battle cry. Seth, always happy to be included, followed. They ran into the circle and began beating Bob around the kneecaps with their swords. I kept spraying. 

Eventually, Bob the Fire Wizard was brought down and all the fire was extinguished. Seth and Jake continued to work on bruising Bob’s shins, and I quickly discarded the hose to lend my fists and extremely pointy elbows to the cause. Bob lay in the smoldering grass, probably regretting using such sturdy chair legs. 

Once we’d all tired ourselves out and lay panting in a heap, Bob decided it was time for the moral of the story. “You see, a sword is nothing compared to the power of a little girl with **magic**.” 

We thought about this for a few moments. Bob nodded wisely. Jake and Seth nodded back. 

“Where was Gin?” She was sleeping in a crib on the sunporch. We did this a lot–played outside while she napped–because we could hear her if she woke up and started crying, but were less likely to wake her up. She slept through the whole thing and was totally fine.

“You can’t put out a gasoline fire with water.” At the time, my little kid brain assumed that any flammable liquid was gas, but in retrospect it could have been almost anything. It very well may have been something other than gasoline. All I know is I could extinguish it with a garden hose.

“What did your parents say?” A lot of swear words at a very high volume.

“Did you get a sword?” Yes. Lots.  Here are a couple of them, and also my pet ringneck dove, Arson. You can see how this all may have had some lasting effect on me.

Arson lives her life constantly wishing she had opposable thumbs so she could light fires.

So that said, a little bit on ritual. It is typically defined as “the established form for a ceremony” but for our purposes, I’d like to also add “an act or series of acts regularly repeated in a set precise manner” or “a sequence of activities involving gestures, words, actions, or objects, performed according to a set sequence” So using these second definitions, ritual is defined by doing, or more precisely preforming. This will be important later.

According to Mircea Eliade (other ritual theorists make use of this distinction but do not go into nearly as much depth in how to designate sacred vs profane space), the space of the universe, of our world at least, is delineated into the sacred and the profane (the opposite of sacred, this is not a moralized word) two opposite states of being with clear distinctions. Eliade describes the sacred as “[manifesting itself] as a reality of a wholly different order from ‘natural’ realities” and “man becomes aware of the sacred because it manifests itself, shows itself, as something wholly different from the profane” therefore it is helpful to understand that, for Eliade, the profane is our natural, mundane, world and we distinguish the sacred by its difference from the profane.

So when it comes to sacred space, that’s usually pretty easy. A church, a tree, an altar, a crossroads, a hǫrgr, etc. These are places in which the divine presence can be not only felt but observed. Whether it is the sanctity of the space that allows the divine to enter or the presence of the divine that creates the sacred is open for interpretation typically, but one does not exist without the other. And you’ll often hear about people purifying themselves before entering a sacred space, so as to not make it profane.

However temporal sacred-ness is a little more difficult to nail down. Using Eliade again, sacred time is “a primordial mythic time made present” meaning, when we are in a sacred time, we are in the ‘before times’ in which myth occurred. and it “represents the reactualization of a sacred event that took place in a mythical past” so essentially, sacred time is then repeating itself in a cycle, every time we enter into it, we are entering the same sacred time as before.

For Catherine Bell, time is an important factor in ritualization and the construction of tradition. She discusses tradition as being a paradox between an “atemporal order and the profane world of temporal change” and how “each is differentiated from but dependent upon the other.” This really doesn’t mean a whole lot on its own but in the context of myth and ritual, it is a way to set something up as ‘how it was always done’ or a sense of continuity in the context of the creation, and subsequent recreation, of ritual. This recreation of meaning, and therefore ritual is best explained by Ronald L Grimes “ritual meaning consists just as surely of the random thoughts and gestures that occur during a ritual” and so the ritual meaning is different from when they were first constructed just by virtue of the continual doing.

Ronald L Grimes discusses the different types of ritual time. “a time between the times” or transitional times or seasons, lifecycles, or a change in social status, is a displacement of the usual sense of chronologically ordered time. He mentions kairos or ‘a pulse of opening and closing’ described when we experience things we cannot anticipate, they catch us by surprise. As well as ‘anticipated time’ or cyclical time, which is like what Eliade describes, though maybe not quite the same, since we can anticipate the return of that time though many do not consider it a repetition. This latter kind of time, the return is what categorizes most traditional liturgical rites.

So what does that have to do with heathenry? many heathens consider only Eliade’s conception of ritual time, wherein ritual as we preform it is a recreation of the moment of the creation. However this is not a particularly practical way to look at ritual in the heathen context. There is indeed very little to be found of a real creation of any sense, beyond the recreation of ritual as Grimes explains it. I would posit that the sacred time in which heathen ritual typically exists is more along the lines of ritualization and construction of tradition. What heathens are creating when preforming ritual is the ritual itself.

When talking about Judaism and the Jewish way of viewing sacred time, the cyclical time of return seems to be the most accurate way to understand it. For them, the Shabbat has been happening since the creation of the world itself, it has been the way they have delineated time for themselves and is thus both tradition in the sense of Bell and cyclical in the sense of Grimes, while also invoking the idea of the mythic time as set up by Eliade. This traditional ritual time is sacred itself because God made it so. It was declared scared ‘in the beginning’ and has been at every time it has reoccurred since then. This is the definition and practical use of sacred time I was referring to in the op. The application of it is meaningful as both a religiously symbolic time as well as a regularly occurring time that is designated as separate from our profane time of the rest of the week, thus as per Eliade making it sacred.

If something goes wrong, and the first thing that child thinks is, "oh god, my parents are gonna kill me," then the parents have failed.

If a child is afraid of their parents, if the child sees their parents as an active threat instead of a source of safety and guidance, then the parents have failed.

A parents job is to protect, to teach, to guide.