“The and That Moments”
Openness is the key to find one’s own greatness and happiness. Please keep on smiling for both of us! Hello… How have you been? It’s been a while since we talked. I know that you are just doing fine, better than the state I am currently in now. You were the type of person who was always carefree, happy, and always smiling with the little or big things/events that happened in your life. Like a feather, so light and so gentle, you would always care for others, especially for your friends and those you cared you in return. As all that had been said, I can say to you that you belong to the 49.1 % of people who were happy with their lives in 2011. Exactly ten years ago, I was contented and happy with you, my former and younger self.
But life does not only necessarily stay as it is. Like the seasons of the world, life changes into different themes with their own different meanings. Thus, making the words of Heraclitus that “Change is the only permanent thing in this world” true because all of us experience different things in life that changes us for the better or for the worse. Now, for me, the moment that drastically change me and will soon happen to you is during our Grade 9 Year. Wherein, you will feel the pressure and stress of not only coming from the academics, but also from your classmates as they desire to be Number 1 or to stay on the top of your class. They would do anything in order to achieve their goal just like a desperate child who will not stop until he/she achieves what he/she wants. Wherein, they would form alliances with others who share the same goal in order to support each other just like a pack of wolves and ridicule those who oppose them just like me. They would also fake kindness and easily create a “good image” in front of teachers and others but in reality, they like wolves in sheep’s clothing.
With the constant ridiculing, you will suddenly pop because you will breakdown and cry so many times that the tears are sometimes blood. As the wind stops blowing and dead air enters, you too shall feel a state of void wherein you fell down a bottomless and dark pit that is near impossible to climb back up again. From these, you had learned that you should change in the vision that others want you to be not by your desires or view just like a slave that diligently obeys his/her master’s commands. You will also learn to lock your emotions away as you shut your doors that once welcome everyone in your life. You will learn to be dependent on yourself because people are just like the government that gives promises of security, comfort, and friendship in times of our need, but their words are empty because there are no actions to be seen especially when you need them the most, they vanish like smoke in broad daylight.
But alas, as the saying goes “There is a rainbow after the rain”, you will learn to move on and open the doors once again. You will realize this during senior high wherein, you will try so hard to keep yourself close/to be alone and serious to others to the point that your cold and serious stares would pierce their hearts and implant fear/seriousness in them. But things were different then and are different now. You could relax and enjoy again your life wherein I realized that no matter how hard I try to keep myself to only care/depend on myself there will be always new people who would care for you with the same level of care you gave them, and they will keep their promises and will stay by your side to comfort you in your times of need. Which, leads you to the return to your former self like a phoenix that majestically rises from the ashes and that the negative way of living that you mastered has been cracked and faded away like an eggshell.
As you, my younger self, read this letter, I hope that you will realize that there will always be ups and downs in life. Our life is a cloud that is sometimes covered in darkness that withholds us to see the light. But we lived on even though it’s so hard to continue on because we see that there are good things in life for us in every step and obstacles present in our lives. So, don’t let yourself be lost in the journey. Remember to put God, good thoughts, people who truly care for you, and words of affirmation in your mind and heart that will serve as your map and compass in your journey instead of the hurtful words of people that only see your bad side. I want you to keep on living for and as yourself, a self that will not regret any change. Unlike me now, who wasted time believing in the thoughts of others and keeping himself forcefully fitted with the vision of other people. And lastly, remember to open yourself to other people even though it will hurt yourself sometimes because it will hurt even more when you carry the burden alone and also always smile so that the happiness you will feel is genuine and explicit.
