tongue tied

I am totally not jealous of you right now, no. Not at all!

I know, I know how much you despise the warm weather. You'd have like no reason to be jealous.

Keep the emojis away. Then you’ll seem more believable. That’d be so romantic. Just imagine staying in Austrialia until one of us gets eaten by an alligator or bitten by a toxic spider. Love till the bitter end.

But I'm nothing without the emojis, Ro. Oh yes because getting eaten by an alligator or bitten by a toxic spider is exactly the definition of romantic, babe.

Alright, here’s the plan: you text Sam pretending to be an Australian police man saying we’ve unfortunately drowned in the nice seas of Sydney and a shark has devoured our dead bodies. Then we stay here ‘til we’re old and grey.

Sam would literally call me the second he got the text and tell me to stop fucking around. We should still stay in Sydney till we’re old and grey. That sounds like a great plan.

It’s a lot colder here then Australia.

Isn't a lot colder here than in most places though, Nikky?

Um, I may have bought so many that my closet is like 30% my clothes and 70% the babies… Don’t tell Carter though.

... I'm afraid, if people start buyin' clothes for yer baby and giving them t' ya, the closet will be 99% baby clothes n' 1% yours, Pai. Don't worry. Not gonna tell him.

I could do. I could be a music teacher for kids, that could work. We need to sit him down and teach him a thing or two, because this s just not acceptable, man. But she wouldn’t be bothering me, if anything she would keep me from boredom as well. Yeah… I am going to. I don’t want anything to do with them. It’s ironic, cause that’s what I had decided, and then they just show up at the door. Oh, I didn’t think about that. I don’t think I could bring myself to hurt her even if I wanted to, though, don’t you worry. 

It could, it could. Doesn't sound too bad; a music teacher for kids sounds actually cool. And to think he actually used to be really lazy and stuff, what happened to Sammy? Oh well you should tell her that then. Or not, 'cos she quitted now, didn't she? At least now they won't appear at your door again. I'm not worried, I know you wouldn't do that intentionally.

That’s a good question I don’t have an answer to. Sometimes I wonder how it’s possible for me to have friends or even a guy that apparently really likes me.

You're like made of pure rudeness, I swear.