Only if for a night

I am lacking creativity and therefor, I’m gonna tell you a cute story. This boy in my choir always pulls at this girl’s pigtails everyday during reading time. She was completely convinced that this kid had some sort of evil plan to murder her, but no worries, I told her that when boys pick on girls like that, it just means they really like their pants. Hopefully she’ll keep that in mind for a few years.

I hope you stuck to the part where he just likes her pants part, and didn't tell her he wanted IN her pants... 

It’s around 23 Celsius in Sydney. This place feels like paradise right now, I have no intentions to leave anytime soon. It was nice meeting you all.

Sydney? What are you doing there? 

I guess a post on here introducing myself would be ideal/ I’m Lexie.

Hii! It's nice to meet you. I'm Ashton. 

My Christmas is going pretty well, pretty well. Ain’t complaining. How about you? D’you get your much longed for blowjob?

That's good! At least you can't complain, right? It's going good, thanks. I did, and I gave her all the love I am possibly capable of, and nuggets back. 

Merry Christmas to you, too, Curly frie.

Ha, Merry Christmas, Rory. How's your Christmas going? 

Ashton.

You called? 

Awn and you’re the best boyfriend. And I love you, even more now that you brought me nuggets.

I do try, I'm not gonna lie. 

It definitely cured your other problems so you can’t complain, baby. I’m waiting for my nuggets, yes.

I'm not complaining. You're the best girlfriend ever. I love you. And I brought you nuggets. 

Oi you were the one mentioning cheeseburgers, I would’ve given you a blow job with or without nuggets, you know?

As good ass you are at giving blow jobs, it's never cured my hunger. So I'll be back soon with cheeseburgers and nuggets. 

If you don’t mind being in the news tomorrow for going to get a cheeseburger dressed in pyjamas, yes.

The things I do for you... and a blow job.... I'm just gonna go in my pyjamas, you'll hear all about it on E! tomorrow. 

Well your truth is making me blush, anyways.

That's the opposite of a problem, though, and I can't really help it. 

They do? See they should apply that to every other country, it’d be pretty useful. It wasn’t that difficult to get what you wanted, then.

They should! Imagine how much more money they could earn if they did delivery! It'd be amazing. No, surprisingly not. I'm not complaining, though. 

If you’re gonna get a cheeseburger, bring me nuggets. We can discuss the whole blow job issue after you give me my nuggets.

Mmmmh, okay. Is it acceptable to go out for a cheeseburger in your pyjamas? 

McDonald’s should have a deliveries on call service or whatever they call it. As for the second part, I don’t really think I can help there.

They do in Japan, actually. It's sad that they don't in America, that happens to be a really lazy country compared to Japan. It's ok, I think I've managed to work it out. 

Don’t start trying to make me blush again.

I'm not trying to make you blush, I'm just stating the truth. 

That is because it really is easy, Ash!

But... effort. 

In that case, I want to be ugly please.

I don't think it's possible for you to be anything but beautiful, to be honest.