Jerants

Human immunodeficiency virus or HIV, is a virus that targets cells in the body that help it fight infection, making a person more vulnerable to other infections and disorders. It is spread by coming into contact with a person who has HIV's body fluids, most commonly during unprotected sexual intercourse. If it is unmedicated, it can lead to acquired immunodeficiency syndrome, also known as AIDS. 

According to the HARP or HIV/AIDS & ART Registry of the Philippines, the confirmed cases of positive individuals as of January 2021 were approximately 83,755 diagnosed cases. Males covered 96 percent of the reported cases.  

Alejandro, not his real name tested positive for HIV last August 2021 at the age of 19. After getting diagnosed, it really affected his mental health, the only thing that he did is to cry. He’s also down due to the fact that his mother awes him as someones who can not recover from the ill. He regrets what he did in the past and wishes to go back in time to change his decisions. On his first week of medication, there were a lot of adjustments in his body up like he can’t sleep well and the side effect of continuing taking the medicine lasted two months. 

Sana naging bata nalang ako habang buhay. Kung nakikinig lang sana ang mga espiritu sa aking kahilingan, malamang sa malamang ako ay naging bata na lamang habang buhay. Dahil noong ako’y bata pa, masaya pa ‘ko sa piling ng aking mga magulang. Kumpleto pa kami noon, kapos man kami sa pera pero apat pa rin kami, ngunit nang dahil sa pera kami ay nagkawatak-watak. Si mommy ay nagtatrabaho noon sa Laguna para makapag-aral kami ng kapatid ko pero madalang siya kung umuwi sa isang linggo, ang daddy ko naman ay nagtatrabaho sa Carmona para may maipandagdag sa gastusin sa bahay at ang tatay ko ay umuuwi pa sa aming bahay. Kami ng kapatid ko ay nasa paaralan, at kapag uwian na ay inihahabilin kami sa mga tito’t tita namin na nasa iisang compound. 

Noong bata ako, hilig ko nang makipaglaro sa mga kapitbahay namin mapababae man o lalaki, pero kadalasan ay puro babae. Sa mga babae ako nakikipaglaro dahil mabait ang pakikitungo nila saken, nakikihiram ako ng laruan nilang barbie at nakikinood sa bahay nila kapag ang palabas ay barbie. Ayan siguro ang naging mitsa kung bakit ako hindi naging straight ngayon. At dahil litong lito pa ang bata kong kapatid, isinumbong niya ako sa aming tatay pagkauwi galing sa trabaho. Hindi lang ako napagalitan, napalo rin ako dahil lang sa hilig kong gawin noon. Ang madaldal kong kapatid ay ikinuwento na sa mga tao na nasa compound namin. Naging tampulan ako ng tukso ng aming mga kapitbahay, kung hindi “sabihin mo nga lalaki ako”, “paano mo titignan ang siko mo kapag madumi” ang aking naririnig sa mga kapitbahay. Pakiramdam ko noon na para akong walang kakampi, at umaasa na ang aking ina ang magtatanggol sa akin. Hanggang sa makauwi siya isang beses at nalaman ang balita, hindi siya naging masaya sa kanyang narinig. Palo ang aking inabot sa nanay ko dahil ang ginagawa ko raw ay mali. 

Lumipas ang taon, kami ay lumaki na at lumipat kami ng bahay. Sa bahay na iyon wala pareho ang aming magulang at naiwan kami sa aming tita. At sa mga panahong kailangan namin ng magulang doon sila wala, at makakasama lang namin sila kapag may okasyon sa bahay. Doon ko na naramdaman ang pagkukulang. Pagkukulang na kahit kailan ay hindi na mapupunan, dahil isang araw dumating ang nanay ko kasama ang kanyang boyfriend. Hindi ako nagreklamo at sa halip ay inintindi ko na lamang. Noon hindi pa ako naaapektuhan, pero ngayong malaki na ko saka lang tumatak sakin na hindi na talaga kami makukumpleto. Nagkaroon sila ng anak, kumpleto silang tatlo at lagi kong naiisip na sampid nalang kami ng kapatid ko sa pamilyang ito.  Ang tatay ko naman ay malayo samin, nagkikita nalang kami tuwing may okasyon.

Ngayong hiwalay ang aking mga magulang, hindi ko alam kung paano ko ipagtatapat sa kanila ang aking totoong katauhan. Ni hindi ko rin alam kung kilala na nga ba talaga nila ako. Hindi ko rin alam kung sakaling sabihin ko man, maiintindihan kaya sila? O magagalit ba sila? Nakakalungkot lang na mas kilala ako ng mga kaibigan ko, ganun pa man masaya pa rin ako dahil tanggap nila ako maging sinuman ako. Kung maibabalik ko lang ang kahapon baka nasabi ko pa sa kanila na wag silang magaaway at maghihiwalay. 

After an almost six years hiatus, Adele is back with her masterpiece ‘30’ album. Her album was about her marriage, being a mother, an artist, and also her depressed state. The album’s theme was heartache, acceptance, and hope. As a listener in her songs, choosing a top three was definitely hard. However, the songs that made it into the list are To Be Loved, I Drink Wine, and Easy on Me.

The first song is To Be Loved, I love how the people behind this track made this song perfectly. The song was about her past decisions and how she consequently suffered from it. Adele is contented as she sang “Looking back, I don’t regret a thing.” With this line, I can say that I can relate to it. After I had a break up with my boyfriend, all I can say is that I don’t regret a thing, if a relationship is very toxic for you just cut him in your life and “Keep my heart safe ‘til the time feels right”. Overall I would rate this song 9 out of 10.

The next song is I Drink Wine, the composition is great and the lyrics are quite repetitive but still this place second for me. I think the title itself is the way how people cope up after having some bad times, which I think that my generation can relate to. The ballad song was about learning to put and to accept herself first as she sings “So I hope to get over myself” and “Stop tryin to be somebody else”. As a person, of course, I am coping with the bad times I had for me to forget and accept what is already done also to move forward and face the reality. The line “You better believe I'm trying”, which I can relate to because whenever I feel pressured by somebody else and didn’t meet their expectations, I shed tears knowing that I really tried my best and exerted my efforts. The song was good and I would rate this song 9.4 out of 10.

And the last song in Adele’s album that made on top for me is, Easy On Me. This song was about Adele’s marriage, explicitly. For me, the word river in the song is a metaphorical term for her marriage as she sang “There ain’t no gold, in this river” in which I believe it means that there’s no hope for this to continue. And for me, I can relate to that line like if you feel that there is something that is very unwanted for you, it’s for you to decide to end the relationship. This track was very catchy for me, and I hope that if everyone has the courage to cut the relationship if it gets tough, do so. I really love this song so I will rate this 9.7 out of 10.

The movie is inspired by the true story of Mary Griffith, whose son is Bobby Griffith committed suicide due to his negative takes on the beliefs of her mother. Mary Griffith is very devoted to God to the point that she based everything that the bible said on her family. Bobby learned his true self, and when the family knew about it, it got worsened. Mary’s family thinks that being gay is a sin and a sickness. For it to be treated Mary put a lot of bible verses into Bobby’s plate, not knowing that it really affected Bobby’s mental health to the point that he himself ended his life.

I myself can relate to Bobby, my family is a Christian and I am afraid that they might dump me for knowing my true colors. For me to adapt to this type of situation, I chose to be paired with someone who shares the same situation as me, and I lose that someone I really love because of toxicity. After the breakup, I can’t accept the fact that it is already gone and done. I chatted with him, in the hope of getting us back together. Same as Mary hallucinating that Bobby was in the kitchen, alive.

After several months, we’re raging in chats like we’re making each other regret that we broke up. I also got anger on him for his coldness to be brought by his unfaithfulness in me. Where it shows how Mary and his husband had a throw of answering each other.

Weeks after, I am asking myself if I am not enough or If I am not that good looking to him, or even not that hot as the guy he hooked up with. I also jumped to the thought that, what if I am this or that will he be on my side forever. The same goes for their family, realizing that they put too much pressure on Bobby.

The break-up gave me anxiety, I am afraid of trusting someone again for they might cheat on me. Mary and I shared tears for remembering the memories we had for someone we really love. I realized that the relationship was not for me and Mary realized that Bobby is not sick at all.

Then the day finally came, which made me think that I did the right decision in my life. It’s the right thing because he told me that he cheated on me after almost a year. I also thought that he will still cheat on me if we still continue our relationship. I bloomed beautifully after that journey, it was like a removed thorn in my toes. As Mary finally accepted that Bobby is a homosexual, made me feel so happy and hopeful. Hoping that one day my family accepts me.

890 are the confirmed cases of Human Immunodeficiency Virus/Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (HIV/AIDS), reported to the HIV/AIDS & ART Registry of the Philippines (HARP) as of January 2021.

Stay safe and protected. 

Practice safe sex.

Wear a condom.

He is my first man, the one who broke my heart, the man who promised that he will be honest to me, and the first man after my father that I loved. His name is Kenneth, he just turned 18 last Saturday, October 9, and of course I greeted him with a happy birthday joking that this might be his last birthday. Then, his sexual orientation is bisexual and  his pronouns are he, his, and him. He is a Grade 12 STEM student in Cabuyao, Laguna. And he was  my schoolmate before last 2018-2020, and in those years we were still in a relationship.  

His height was 5’8”, Kenneth and I are of the same height. His black hair color, and black thick eyebrows complement his face as his best feature. And who would’ve known that, with his beautiful eyes that tells the truth will one day lie to me. Ectomorph is his body type, his skin color is much lighter than mine and his body is very hairy. As much as I can remember, he is the type of guy that will take a shower if going to school, having a date with me, or other errands but if he’s inside home only he does not take a shower that much, but he smells nice and very masculine. Furthermore, he is very clingy like he always hugs or kisses me whenever I am around. Also, these past few days he always tends to annoy me, but I guess it is brought by my anger on what he did to me in the past. 

It is the nth day of pandemic and from Monday to Friday, I always wake up when I feel that there is something hot on my face and feel dazzled even though my eyes are closed, and that is the time that the sun has already risen, which means I am late for my first class in online school and sometimes even in the second class. Even so, I am trying to be more punctual as much as I can, but the reasons why I sleep very late is because I love playing multiplayer games with my cousins or friends, specifically Mobile Legends: Bang Bang (MLBB), I also chat my crush, baby time who, and lastly I just can not sleep even if I try to, I guess there is lot of things that keeps on running inside my head. And even if I try to be more punctual, I assumed that it would be impossible because that is the only time when MLBB or other online games will be banned here in our country, or if my crush has uncrushed me, and if these things inside my head had stopped running because of exhaustion. Besides, I am always early, early for the second subject. 

Since I tend to be late for the first classes, my stomach is empty and so my mind is, I have not taken a shower even though it is not necessary in online classes, in relation to this my energy is very low and I felt drained without doing anything, and more importantly I have missed the lecture on the first subjects. But, when I am hungry in the middle of a discussion, I am turning off my camera to get something to eat,  but for some teachers opening your camera is required, so I tried to eat secretly. And then I am getting caught on cam, because my cheeks are stuffed with food  like a chipmunk eating acorns. And due to the fact that I just woke up, my mind can not function well and the bed seems like hypnotizing me and chanting just sleep the whole day. That’s why I am eating in the middle of the lecture, just to get the information that has been said by the teacher and for me to perform well in class.

Until all the subjects are done and all of them have left activities to do, some deadlines are within the day, some are one week before, and even some do not have deadlines . After classes, if the activity is not that hard I always do it right away to lessen the workloads brought by my laziness, but if the activities are hard to do in just one sitting, I will do it the other day or sometimes next week because I always think that it is alright to skip it for now because I have still a lot of time. And then after doing the activities, I will sigh “what a day”, even though from my perspective everyday is what a day, and the cause is my procrastination. 

After classes, the student role is over and that is the time for the kuya role. In our house, I am an all-rounder when it comes to household chores which is very nerve racking. My mother is always mad at me for not being able to be initiative in doing some chores, and I hate it the most. The fact that I will initiate to wash the dishes but then there she is commanding me to wash the dishes. And every Saturday I am working in my aunt’s Shoppee and Lazada warehouse, for twelve hours. My job there is packaging beauty products and putting them inside the parcel, my salary in a month is 2000 pesos equivalent to four Saturdays in a month. I decided to work every Saturday, so that the money that I will earn is for my demands and for me to pay it on my own, and if there is excess money I am sharing it with my little brothers.

Following my house routine, is my nightly routine. It starts with taking a half bath, doing skin care, taking some pictures and posting it on Twitter and Snapchat, then playing mobile games with my cousins that gave me fun and excitement. After playing, I will have some conversation with my crush and late night call. And the night will be completed with the never ending overthinking. Ever since the pandemic striked and distance learning has started, this is the type of routine that I am used to.

Differing my routine now from my routine before the pandemic, I would say that I have changed a lot since then. Before the pandemic everyday, I always wake up at five in the morning. Then, I will stretch just to be fully awake. After that, I will go to the kitchen and cook my breakfast and drink my coffee. And then I will take a shower, brush my teeth, and dress up. And finally, I will prepare the things needed then get ready to go to school. And I was not that guy who is into online games, because I always prefer wasting my time over watching movies on illegal websites, watching nonsense videos on YouTube, oftenly reading books, and listening too much to kpop music. Having relationships back then is very genuine for me, because you can actually meet and see your partner not unlike internet love, it is quite confusing in a sense that they fell in love with someone that they have not met before, ironically speaking I have one. Lastly, I always get enough sleep to get ready for the next day. I would say that traditional classes are way better than this set up because compared to before I am more productive and not too exposed to social media, but I can say that distance learning is the safest way amidst the pandemic.

According to the studies, distance learning in the Philippines offers different modes of learning such as: modular learning, remote learning, mixed of remote and modular, etc. The learner can choose any type of learning mentioned based on the preference of the learner. Moreover, it can open the chances to those learners who want to learn but are insufficient in terms of gadgets and due to financial constraints. Distance learning is the only way amidst the pandemic and for the learners to not be left behind. Despite its good safety from the virus, and to keep on track with the academics, learners are facing some challenges as they continue to learn everyday in distance learning. According to studies, distance learning affects one's mental health, for some it is not cost efficient to the point that the learner has to spend 50 pesos for the internet and that lasts for one hour, the students do not learn as much as they learn compared to traditional learning. 

Hindi pa sumisikat ang bukang liwayway,

At heto akong hindi magkandamayaw,

Sa galak, at sa siya, at sa pananabik sapagkat sa wakas ay

Dumating na rin ang araw na aking pinakahihintay.

Ang araw na hindi ko lubos maisip na darating pala sa aking buhay.

Ang araw na sa wakas ay makikita at mahahagkan na rin kita, oh aking tinatangi.

At dahil hindi na ako makapaghintay na makapiling ka,

Akin ng nilisan ang aking tahanan,

At pumunta sa bus terminal patungong Pampanga.

Habang nasa kahabaan ng kalsada,

Biglang sumagi sa aking isipan kung paano nagsimula ang ating pagmamahalan,

Kung paano natin pinasok ang mundo ng bawat isa at hindi na maaaring lumabas pa,

At kung paano tayo nagtiis at naghintay dahil ang oras ay pagong sa bagal kung tumakbo,

Pero nagawa natin, sapagkat sinabi ko rin sayo na kapag may tiyaga may nilaga.

Sa mga oras ng aking pagmumuni-muni,

Animo’y kabayo kung tumakbo ang oras,

At ni hindi ko man lang namalayan na nasa SM Clark na pala ako.

Buhat nito minarapat kong itext ka na nandito na ko mahal ko magi-ingat ka.

Pero dahil ako’y sabik na sabik na sayo minabuti kong tawagan ka at ng iyong sagutin,

Biglang nagkatagpo ang ating mga mata,

Pareho tayong tuwang tuwa at tila ba’y parang hindi pa rin makapaniwala.

Habang naglalakad tayo papalapit sa isa’t isa,

Biglang bumagal ang takbo ng mundo,

Na siya namang ikinabilis ng tibok ng aking puso.

At nang tayo’y magkalapit na, ako’y bigla mong binihag sa mga bisig mo,

At para bang nakuryente ang kalamnan ko, hindi ko maipaliwanag ang nadama ko.

Pagkatapos non, pumasok tayo sa loob upang bumili pa ng mga karagdagang makakain.

At nagtungo tayo sa isang malapit na parke, inilatag ang picnic blanket at naghain.

Ang paborito kong lasagna na iyong niluto na punong-puno ng iyong pagmamahal,

Ang siyang bumida sa araw na iyon.

Nang ito’y aking tikman, tila ba parang ako’y lumulutang na sa langit sa sobrang sarap.

Matapos nating kumain ako’y humilata,

At hindi ko namalayan na ang aking mukha ay na-iginuhit mo na pala,

Na siya namang labis-labis na ikinatuwa ng aking puso. 

Sumunod, nag-basa tayo ng mga libro at nag-gantsilyo.

Pagkatapos, tayo’y nag-kulitan na punong puno ng tawanan,

Hanggang sa napahiga ako sa hita mo 

At nagti-tigan tayo,

At akmang hahalikan ako

Nang bigla mong sinigaw “kuya! Kuya!”

Ako’y nagulat at biglang nagising dahil sa kapatid ko,

Ginising ako para lamang mag-saing. 

Sus ginoo,

Subukan ko man na matulog at balikan ang aking panaginip,

Hindi ko magawa bunga ng aking inis.

Parang gumuho ang mundo ko, 

At biglang lumabas sa aking mga mata ang ilog.

Minabuti kong tumayo sa harap ng bintana,

At tsaka tumingala sa langit,

Hinihiling kay bathala na sana hindi na lamang ako nagising,

Sa mala paraisong panaginip na iyon.

Bakit naman ganito ang napanaginipan ko? Tama, puhon,

According to Richard K. James, existential crisis is defined as moments when a human being is starting to find some answers about if their lives have meaning, or value. Also contemplation gives a negative impact. When we are born in this world, we all know that our parents gave us our name, for this we will be known by our names. Our parents are the one who are our first teachers, they taught us how to be polite, sweet, and to be smart. But then, as we grow older, we go deeply, and start to question ourselves “Why did I win the race?” or sometimes “Why me? Why am I in this world?” and even questions like “Do I really have a purpose in life?”. Anyone can experience this type of situation, lost in storms, and sometimes sent into circles. This longing for some answers relating to self and to somebody else served in the anthology, “Once Lost and Wanting to be Found”.

After reading the first poem in the anthology, entitled, Prelude to Cognitive Dissonance, by Marisel, it feels like Maridel’s identity is like the most shown with the people when the author is around the public. While introducing the other personalities, I can visualize that Maridel is like a tour guide, the reader is the tourist, and the other personalities are the itineraries. It reminds me of the song Welcome by IZ*ONE. The translated Korean lyrics into English lyrics “A small diary full of dreams unfolds” Wherein the poetry collection is like the diary of the author, and the diary is full of dreams, fantasies, and surprises. As for me, I can relate myself to Maridel, I am not that showy person to anybody especially to someone I met for the first time. But then, I am willing to express myself to my beloved ones like: friends, family, partner.

In the next poem entitled, Life in Numbers, after reading it I could feel that the intensity of happiness is changing as Alec grows older. As she also grows older, there are some things that made her happy, and she’s finding some ways to be happy.  In the line “But I wish was happy And could go back when I was younger.” It clearly shows that she just wants to be happy as much as she’s happy when she was a child, like no problems at all, playing in the street, and not struggling with the issues of aging. It reminds me of Happier a song of Marshmello featuring Bastille, where there was a little girl who had once a puppy she treated her puppy as her own best friend, as the little girl grow older the puppy are getting older too and until the day that the dog had to leave her owner, the owner of the dog can not accept the fact that her dog passed away, but then she is hoping to be happy and still continue her journey. As for my experience, as I grow older I may lose some things that make me happy but still I will continue the fight of life, and somehow choose everyday to be happy. 

A Piece of His Loving Memory is the third poem in the collection. It is associated with the game called chess, and after reading the poem, the persona in the poem lost someone he loves and left with a broken heart. Just like in chess where anyone can win and be defeated. “Let me burst for a while for I have never won, only defeated.” In this line I think he was defeated in the game called love. Maybe it was a one sided type of love. The song My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion reminds me of this. Even though she had lost someone she really loved, she still moved on and moved forward even though it’s not easy and even in her sleep she could feel her lover. I once had lost my lover and left with a broken heart before but after the split up I always think that he lost someone like  me and I did not lose to him. 

The fourth poem was entitled,A Graph of a One-Sided Limit (Not a Love Story), in my opinion the main character in the poem has a special feeling for someone who does give some motive but does not have any feelings for the main character. The line “Next thing I knew, slow heartbeats have begun” is the time when the character starts to have genuine feelings for someone. When it’s talking about one sided love, it reminds me of Taylor Swift’s Teardrops on My Guitar where Taylor was loving a guy but the guy had his feelings reserved for someone. “And she's got everything that I have to live without” this line, clearly said that the guy really loves the girl even Taylor got everything. She assumed that she’s winning but then she realized that it was not her but someone else. That experience was really devastating but then in the end, we have to accept everything for us to not be that much hurt. 

Down to the fifth poem of Ian and it was entitled as, INRI (Don’t Stop; Keep Going).After reading it from top to bottom, it was very alarming because in ““…My hours turn into minutes, then lesser and lesser.”” He’s very helpless and he wants someone to help him. After reading it from bottom to the top, now there’s someone who’s saving him. in the song Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) of Kelly Clarkson, there is this line “What doesn’t kill you makes you a fighter” So, if anyone who’s not willing to help you, remember that it won’t harm or kill you,  just find some other ways, and “Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone.” As for me, I always think that I have my friends, the type of lovely friends that I didn’t ask for. Just if you feel like giving up just remember that you still have support systems like your friends and family. What does not kill you will really make you a fighter. 

The next poem by Esther was entitled, A Sage in Every Inscription. As I have read the poem it feels like in Esther’s world all is well, all is perfect she has a lover but then she realized that it was all in her own world or imagination. She also  gave some gratitude to her lover. The initials of every line in the last stanza stands for IDGAF so I associated this poem with Dua Lipa’s IDGAF. The song feels like, you have a lover before and you’re giving your all to him but you did not received the same energy so you cut him in your life because why bother wasting some energy to someone who’s not deserving, just like in the line “Cut you off I don't need your love So you can try all you want”. Let us not chase them, we’re not their lapdog who obeys their commands, we're too beautiful to be a lapdog.

Julia’s To the Little Prince were next in the collection. After reading the poem, it already gives me the idea that the little prince betrayed Julia. But what’s more confusing is that if the little prince is not present in Julia’s worst times, why does Julia still love the little prince. The poem reminds me of the song Pacify Her by Melanie Martinez. Where Cry Baby was once betrayed by the Blue Boy with some new Basic Girl. Then in the lyrics in the chorus part it says that “Pacify her She's getting on my nerves You don't love her Stop lying with those words” clearly, the Blue Boy victimizes another basic girl with his soothing melody. And Cry Baby was like convincing herself that Blue Boy was only lying. In life we must “ stay away from things that aren't yours”  we must know our place, but if our lover made his/her move to find someone new then cut them into your life you don’t need that type of person.

The eighth poem was entitled, Wetdream, by Huan. After I have read the poem, it contains many symbolism or it’s just me being green minded because of the title itself. But then I imagined that there was something that happened between Huan and the warrior, something about pleasure. The poem reminds me of Melanie Martinez’s Strawberry Shortcake. The chorus part says that “It's my fault, it's my fault 'cause I put icing on top Now, the boys want a taste of the strawberry shortcake” and somehow related in the line “Of unwanted men and their love: (Penetrate, drill, and edge them out of life to live.)” But, as Huan moved, his warrior was pleased in everything he did. With this, it’s fine having fantasy with someone you really like and it’s normal.

The next poem after Huan was Uie James’ A Call For Change. Based on its title I know that this is somehow related to reform, changing some traditions, and making a new one. The persona is very strong in his own words. The poem suddenly reminds me of The Principal by Melanie Martinez. The song was very reformist like spilling some teas of some of the schools like in the line “All you want is cash and hype "F*ck our dreams" and that's not right”. Also the line “If you're not teaching, we're not learning Excuse me, how much are you earning?” It's like finding some principle. As a student, somehow I also feel how Uie James felt while he was learning. It was very tiring but still we have no choice left.

The tenth in the collection was, Because You are Immortalized, by Nelly. After reading her poem, it is very comforting that I made it this far. She’s very optimistic and a good person. With this, I associated this poem with the song Beautiful by Christina Aguilera. In the line “You are beautiful no matter what they say Words can't bring you down” This is very much like Nelly, she’s a good friend who will see the best in us. She’s our confidence provider. In everything we do, we must appreciate and learn to love ourselves before loving others.

The last and definitely not the least, A Letter to the Reader by the Author of the collection. It was a tough collection of poems yet it’s still very good and the best. It makes me sad that the only way to end all the whispers inside one’s head is the host himself. With all his realizations, I am hoping that he could really connect to someone who feels the same as him. I could relate this to Recess by Melanie Martinez. If we felt that it was a tough journey, we need to take some pause and just relax and forget just like in the line “Don't let them hurt you, baby. Just say, "Recess, I'm tired ``'' Also, protect yourself at all costs. Just always remember that you are valid.