Take the Shot

I feel like you guys are blogging without me

having a best friend who meets your level of freak is unmatched. you present them with the most unhinged, deeply buried thought from the depths of your psyche and instead of blinking blankly they just go "oh absolutely"—and I think that mutual brain rot like that is the highest form of intimacy actually.

It's literally like. Well what if your career was also a beautiful woman you could have sex with.

Okay so what if you had fallen into the very common trap of making your career the load bearing pillar of all meaning in your life and your sole source of self esteem. But also your job was inherently religious in nature. Now also imagine God was a beautiful woman and she wanted to have sex with you. Now imagine y'all broke up.

"well I think that would fuck me up a little bit" yeah. Yeah it probably would.

Now imagine you were pregnant with an incredibly powerful bomb.

one day you start doing laundry and then you never stop doing laundry and then you die

often times i have to hold myself back from saying the most pathetic things ever