Jenaiea

I was startled when I felt a vial be placed in my hand.

(I wonder what will happen if I drink this)

Roger: Scared?

Kate: I’m not. Well, bottoms up.

I opened the bottle and poured the viscous liquid down my throat.

Kate: Nothing’s happening…

Roger: There won’t be a reaction ‘til your body’s absorbed it. It’s like alcohol. It’ll slowly and thoroughly travel through your body and dissolve reason.

I felt my body throbbing under Roger’s gaze.

(No, no, no, what am I becoming conscious of?)

Roger: I’m getting bored, so how ‘bout we have a chat.

Roger pulled out a chair with a clatter and sat down facing me.

Roger: Now then, what should we talk about? Ah, right. You asked what love meant to me. Now I wanna hear your thoughts. What’s love to you?

Kate: Are you actually curious about that?

Roger: Yeah. I’m rather interested in you. You know that, right?

(You said that so quickly…)

However, Roger was right about being bored, and in my mind, I traced the outline of love with my fingertips.

Kate: I don’t have much experience with love, so I’ll speak from what little experience I have?

Roger: Sure.

Kate: When I fall in love, I feel like the ordinary things in life sparkle. It’s like I want to wrap that moment in the palm of my hand and hold it close. It makes the ordinary world seem just a little bit more special. Maybe that’s what love is to me.

(I might’ve said too much)

I quietly looked at Roger and the tender look in his eyes took my breath away.

Roger: That’s nice. Your love looks fun. 

Roger and I have completely different thoughts when talking about love.

Why has that always been so irritating to me?

Kate: I can’t prove that love exists either. But I do think that there’s a special feeling behind it that isn’t a brain dysfunction or sexual desire.

Roger: Something that’s not a brain dysfunction or sexual desire?

Kate: That-

I was just about to say something when something tingling welling up from the core of my body clutched at me and swallowed my words.

(My body’s hot. And…)

Roger: Looks like it’s working. Look over here. Yep, your pupils are dilating. My ears are picking up your heartbeat, but just to be sure, let’s listen with a stethoscope. Your dress is in the way. Let’s take it off, Kate.

Kate: Eh…ah

The night dress is pulled down to my stomach, leaving me in my corset.

The cloth rubbed against my skin, and the core of my body felt hot.

Roger took out a stethoscope and slipped it under my corset with a practiced hand.

Roger: Breathe in and out. Haha, that’s a nice sound.

The cold instrument against my skin is the only thing making my body ache at the moment.

(Roger’s just examining me. Don’t think about it)

Roger: Finally, let’s take a blood sample. It’s gonna hurt a bit.

Kate: A-ah

I couldn’t help but gasp at the sensation of a needle piercing my skin, and the corner of Roger’s lips quirked up.

Roger: It hurts, but it feels good. You’re a hopeless little lady. Alright, the examination's over. Thanks, Kate.

Roger was saying something, but it sounded far away.

Seconds pass and the lewd heat builds up as if circulating through my body.

(I can’t…)

Kate: Roger…

But Roger just sat there in front of me and watched.

Roger: Kate, I’ll always have a proper excuse for you. You just have to go ahead with it. It’s not your fault for being timid, I just wanna take a little look. Where you want me is up to you.

(Eh?)

Roger: Unless you ask for it, I won’t touch you. I’ll just sit here and watch.

Just like he said, Roger just stares at me.

Despite that, my body’s imagining his lips, eyes, fingers…

(I want Roger to touch me)

(I want something that feels good)

But Roger keeps staring at me and not spoiling me.

(But…)

Kate: I hate it…

Roger: Hm?

Kate: If I let my sexual desires take over, it’ll be like I’m proving that love doesn’t exist, and that’s annoying. I want Roger to think that there is love, I think.

Roger: So that’s it.

Kate: Huh?

Roger: That’s one of those cute things that makes you cry for me every time, isn’t it?

The moment Roger’s large hand patted my head, all remaining sense of reason disappeared.

(I can’t…)

Kate: Roger…Please…touch me…In some way…or another

Roger: Sure. Come here, Kate.

Roger removed my corset in one go, exposing my once-bound breasts.

Roger: Ahh, look at how hard they are. The aphrodisiac’s effect is amazing.

I could feel how hard my nipples were, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to feel good right now.

I wanted him to touch me so badly that I forgot about covering myself up and stuck my chest out, making Roger smile.

Roger: You’re usually so shy and want to hide it, but not tonight?

Kate: Yes…

Roger: Oh~ How lewd~

Roger got up from his chair, knelt in front of me, and took a nipple in his mouth.

(Ah…)

Roger’s rough tongue tickles the tip of my nipple and my knees almost give out.

As he sucks, nectar flows down between my legs.

Kate: Haaaa. Intense…

Roger: Since we both agreed on it, I’m not holding back today. Ah…I think I can make you cum just from your breasts. Cum for me, Kate.

Kate: Eh, ah. Stop talking.

Roger: Hmm, thought so. You prefer a little pain and embarrassment to being gentle. Come on…

He licks at one nipple while pinching the other.

Kate: Anh…Aaahhh

My vision goes white.

(I came once, but it’s not calming down)

Roger: Hey Kate, I have one more experiment I wanna do.

Kate: …?

Roger: Can love be born from sexual desire?

(?)

With a smirk, Roger removes his vest and undid his shirt.

His firm pecs and well-trained muscles were exposed, and a sound escaped from my throat.

Kate: B-but. Roger…

Roger: Yeah?

Kate: You said you didn’t like troublesome things, and if we do something like that…it’s over.

(What am I saying?)

Roger: Yeah, that’s right. But you’re different. It’s a pain, but I want to with you. I wonder what this is.

That wicked smile made the area between my legs slowly get wetter.

It’s as if it was saying it was happy to get “special treatment”.

Kate: I don’t know…

Roger: Hmm how cold. Is the aphrodisiac wearing off? In that case-

(Huh?)

Roger took out a new bottle of the aphrodisiac and placed it against his lips.

He then lifts up my chin-

Kate: Nn…

Alfons: Are you ready? In that case: 3, 2, 1...

Following Alfons' rhythmic countdown, I opened my eyes—

—And found myself in the infirmary with Roger in front of me.

Kate: This suggestion's amazing...It's as if the real Roger's right in front of me!

Roger: The hell are you talkin' about?

The Roger before me furrowed his brows in confusion. Meanwhile, I was even more impressed by his reaction, as if it was actually Roger himself.

Kate: Um...I'll explain later. Do you remember when you and I had a fight last week?

~~ Flashback start ~~

What happened was that we had different thoughts regarding a mission. Roger wasn't listening to me at all—

Kate: I don't want to see you again!

After saying something so childish like a kid throwing a tantrum, I really didn't see Roger after that...

I lost my chance to apologize to him.

~~ Flashback end ~~

Kate: So I asked Alfons to help me...practice apologizing to you. He suggested that I see Roger in a dream.

Roger: So that's it... So we're in your dream, huh? You're earnest even with stuff like practicing how to apologize. I don't really care about what you said to me back then. I know you have your own thoughts, so don't worry about it.

Roger's illusion forgave me so easily. While it thought it was a typical Roger thing to do, I suddenly felt uneasy.

Kate: I wish the real Roger would say that same thing...

Roger: He did. It's me.

Kate: Just because Roger's illusion forgave me so easily, doesn't mean it'll actually turn out like this. I shouldn't just apologize...Should I prepare something...?

Roger: If you really wanna show your sincerity, then how 'bout you buy him a nice beer?

Kate: ...! You're right, I should!

Illusion Roger's suggestion was what finally gave me the courage to apologize to the real Roger.

(I'll apologize with this the next time I see the real Roger...)

Roger: By the way, little lady, why're you puttin' so much effort into making up with me?

Kate: Eh...

Roger: Hate to say this but, I don't mix business and pleasure. If you and I are fighting, it's not gonna affect your work, is it?

Kate: The reason why I want to make up with Roger isn't because of work...

Roger: Oh...?

Kate: I...I admire how Roger's researching curses and his diligent approach to treatment others. Though I think it'd be nice if you were less pushy or mean... I put my trust in Roger. That's why I don't want to stay on bad terms with him.

(I'd never say to Roger himself because he'd tease me...)

Roger: So you wanna make up with me cuz you like me?

Kate: L-like...That's not it.

Roger: Whaddya mean? Ah...not like, but love?

Kate: Why's it getting worse...!

Then, Roger's hand grabbed my shoulder and pulled me in hard—

Kate: Nn...!

With practiced hands, he easily stole a kiss.

Roger: Any normal woman would keep her distance from a man who puts his hands on her. But you never run away when I do and you say you wanna make up with me. There's only one reason for that. You love me so much you can't stand it. That it?

Why does the degree of love increase each time?

Roger's confident gaze pierced through me and I almost nodded because of it.

Kate: I...

(Roger's right...I want to make up because of a considerable amount of fondness I have.)

(But...it's not because of romantic love or true love.)

I can't explain what's different, but I can't say I'm in love.

Kate: I do like you. As a fairytale write, Roger!

I fixed my gaze on Roger to emphasize that it was only a working relationship.

Roger: Oh...?

Kate: Roger's worth documenting, that's all I'm going to say.

I tried to attach some non-romantic rationale onto the reason why I want to make up with Roger.

Roger: Even so, it doesn't matter. If you like me for my humanity, then all you need is to like me as a man.

As soon as he said that, Roger pinned me down on the bed.

Kate: Why are you going in that direction? Let me go...!

Roger: Why...Because no matter how many times I bully you, you always come back with your tail waggin'. You really like me, but if you're gonna pretend that you don't...I'll expose you.

My hands were immediately pinned over my head.

I couldn't move because Roger was hovering over me.

Kate: Nn...

There was nothing I could do as Roger kissed me again.

Unlike last time, his tongue parted my lips and teased the inside, making my breathing ragged.

(Even though this is a dream and this Roger's an illusion, why does it feel so real?)

My kiss-addled mind couldn't comprehend it.

Kate: Nn...Nnn?!

I let out a muffled scream in Roger's mouth.

As expected, Roger's hand slipped beneath my underwear.

Roger: You're already so wet here...All this from kissing me?

A deep laugh rumbled in his throat and he moved his fingers, rubbing and pressing against my sensitive spot.

Kate: Do- Ahnn... Don't!

Roger: Not that convincing when you have such a lewd look on your face. Well, I'd rather be inside you instead of makin' you cum like this.

Kate: In...side? Ah...!

The fingers that had been stimulating my bud entered me and I let out a high-pitched cry.

Roger: Mm, you're tight here, little lady. Well, guess you'll get used to it.

Roger's fingers continued pumping his fingers in and out, making obscene sounds.

Kate: Haa....! I can't...Nn...

Roger: I'm gonna need to use 3 or 4 fingers here if I'm gonna fit, you know?

Kate: You're not going to...put it...in...

Roger: You're stubborn. Your body's being honest though, look.

Roger's fingers pressed against a specific spot inside me and stimulated it relentlessly.

Kate: Ah...?! Not there...Nnghaa...

Roger: I know. Tapping this spot feels good, doesn't it?

Regardless of how much I protested and tried to wriggle away, Roger didn't let me go.

(This is my dream and Roger's an illusion... I was supposed to practice making up with him...)

(Why is this happening...?)

But what confused me even more was my heart...

(Even if the real Roger pushed me around like this too...I'd still want to make up with him)