Minding ‘Manders

Did somebody say “actual physical painting”?

… I did, and regretted it because holy mother of artist’s block, I couldn’t get anything to work for me on actual paper. It got so bad that I was advised to give up, so this is me giving up (and just putting what I’ve got out there). Submitted for the approval of the Salamander Society: a 5x8 gouache portrait of 👯The Twins 👯 on 110lb cold press paper. Maybe someday I’ll bother to take a decent photo of it, but today is not that day.

To compensate for the smudges and shitty lighting, let me introduce to you my muses: Baby and Fiver.

Baby and Fiver came to me as little tiny larvae rescued from being used as bait, and now they make my life hell. They’re inseparable, unfortunately. A package deal. 2-for-1 special on dumbass wet lizards.

Contrary to popular belief, she is NOT a freelancing website. Fiver got her name from the fact that she has five fingers on her right hand (most ‘phibs have four. She’s special  ✨) She’s the big sister and her favorite hobbies include biting and using Baby as a chair. She has a college degree in architecture with a minor in bloodline curses.

(Great choice, Fiver. I hear they’re opening a new Bloodline Curses Factory in the next town over! 🙄)

Baby is the baby (obviously). He morphed a few days after Fiver did, and he is the sweetest, gentlest, babiest boy. He likes sitting on my hand while I do tank maintenance, eating worms longer than he is, and being sat on by Fiver. When I’m working on bigger projects I’ll often sit on the floor by their tank, and I think Baby thinks if he digs hard enough, he’ll pop out the other side and land in my lap (at which point I will shower him with worms for being So Smart). He is wrong. He just fucks up my scaping. RIP to my moss 😭

Fun facts about these criminals:

Baby once went on a Worm Strike for a full summer because I was stupid enough to feed him a cricket once. Baby no longer gets crickets. He has yet to forgive me for keeping him from his beloved Crunchy Bugs. I have yet to forgive him for the money I spent just to figure out he was being an asshole.

Fiver once escaped temporary containment and nearly gave me a heart attack. Can you imagine how scared you’d be, sitting on the floor, sorting through your dirt, when suddenly something cold and wet crawls up your bare leg? My soul departed from this world.

Pardon me while I sneak a reptile into my amphibian-focused blog… I mean, what’s a snake if not a caecilian that needs to drink more water? It’s another 30-minute quick draw, that’s what!

I don’t own a snake—I prefer to get bit by angry wet lumps with Velcro teeth instead of actual teeth, thanks—but if I did? Palmetto corn snake. And I’d name her Funfetti. Or Sprinkles. Dippin Dots?

(“But Jam,” I hear you ask, “When will you stop posting quick draws like a coward and show us some actual work?”

Tonight’s quick-paint! I gave myself 30 minutes for this one. It’s one of my attempts to make digital paintings look like physical work, and if you ignore the obviously text signature I think I got pretty close 🤞

The muse for tonight’s practice?

If the devil had a name it would be Peanut Butter Boat. This is not a salamander, it is a Thing living in my home. Boat (also known as Peebles, PBB, Peebs, Mr. Boat, and Bastard) spends his days judging me. He likes to stand—as in, stand like a HUMAN PERSON—and just… observe. Stare. Watch.

His name comes from a friend insisting I name him Peanut Butter, who suggested I give up my attempts at finding a better name for this Creature and encouraged me to ‘get on the Peanut Butter boat.’

Boat once interrupted a job interview I was in by standing menacingly against the glass, clearly visible in the background of my zoom call. He haunts me. I did not get the job.

Hello, world!! I’m Jam (they/them), the artist behind Jellymander Studios. My life is currently run by an army of tiny amphibians, and my therapist has encouraged me to share their chaos with the world so the creatures don’t consume me. (Technically, she said having a public platform for self-expression would be good exposure therapy for me, but it’s basically the same thing.) 

This little corner of the web is the official landing pad for my cozy ‘phib art, portrait practice, and photos of my salamanders. Lots and lots of photos of my salamanders. I might even chat a bit about amphibian and exotics husbandry, critters, creatures, ADHD… the possibilities are endless! But it’ll mostly be amphibians. Unless I decide it’ll be something else, at which point it’ll be that.