🌈🍄🐛🌱🌜👽✨🌺

me, mentally flipping through the various daydream universes i’ve crafted up like records in a crate: hmm, which fantasy shall i indulge in tonight?

shawty's like a malady in my head

I cannot get this poem out of my head. It haunts me. Joyously, it haunts me. 

This poem format is my favorite thing and this is the first time I’ve ever seen it’s origin story. I love it. Every time.

something something extremely sexy when magic users resort to physical violence. yeah i have the power of god and anime on my side but i also have THESE HANDS. i cast Punch You In The Face. i take my magic staff through which i channel the vast energies of the elements and the cosmos and i cast Severe Concussion And Skull Fracture. casting time for xenoglossy too long, chose the quicker route of Stab You In The Throat.

Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

what doesnt kill you is still valuable data points for a graph im working on titled "how to kill you"

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[ID: a screenshot of Glados from Portal with a speech bubble edited to make it look like she's saying the post above her. /end ID.]

you, reading this. you're a creature now. reblog to creature your followers

this creature is you

TODAY

the more you listen to it, the funnier it gets

Audio: dramatic piano. The husky screams along, vaguely keeping the rhythm but not the tune

That last ROO always gets me

inside your body is PITCH BLACK your cells do all of that in the DARK

self care is swallowing lit matches every 5 minutes so that ur cells can see whatever the fuck they’re doing in there