fundie side blog

Lots of people have their reality TV trash. For me, it's the Duggars and Bateses. I am fascinated by them. I'm not exactly a fan, but I don't like the mean-spiritedness of FSU Reddit. So here's a sideblog to keep track of the happenings of the fundie world.

You can expect some snark, some commentary, and lots of rooting for these folks to grow and do better.

First of all, we want to extend our deepest love and sympathy to Heidi and Charlie & the Coverett Family.  ❤️ We are glad that Heidi & Charlie & the baby are safe and we are SO sorry for how our son Timothy has treated Heidi. 😡😭  It has DEVASTATED my heart for our dear daughter in law!  We have never excused Timothy's wrong behavior, and in light of what we know raising him, his actions don't surprise us. 😥 

Our hearts are grieved and broken that our son chose to air his grievances and wrong doings over social media, and that is the ONLY reason we are responding publicly.  Social media is not the place we should go to gain sympathy for our wrong doing, or to point out others. It also shames the name of Christ.  However,  we love Timothy and are glad that Timothy is seeking the help he needs. 

Our inbox has been FULL of hate and slander, but also full of love and support of those that know us best.  So, we are striving to respond here in one place.  ❤️

David was not raised in a Christian home and had much to learn how to be a husband.  In the early years of our marriage, I walked a journey that was long, dark and lonely, and riddled with trials. I was extremely private (and still am) about what I went through, but through it all, I saw a man that desired to do right.  Loved me.  Loved God.  I was the wife of second chances, and I battled the depression I felt through HOURS of prayer. That day feels like another lifetime ago because my husband is night and day different now!  God has grown him (and all of us) mightily!  🙏 

As a father, David made (past tense) mistakes in handling things wrong, but again, I saw a man that desired to do right, deeply loved his children, but wasn't sure how to properly father them.  I ALWAYS stood up for the children in moments of David's anger, and many times suffered for that. 💔  I have never wanted to slander my husband and always tried to respectfully stand behind him, and allowed him to lead.  He is a good man, that made ignorant mistakes......as we all do as parents sometimes.  

I make NO excuses for any emotional scarring David has left on his children, but I also know that we have 12 other children that see their father for what he truly is!  A humble man that regrets ways he handled things wrongly, and is constantly seeking God with His life.  He loves his children and has been a faithful husband and father.  ❤️  I am also thankful the children love me deeply in spite of my human tendencies, as well.  They are my VERY best friends and my ABSOLUTE world!  💯 

In response to Timothy's allegations about David, they are distorted and untrue.  David & I and also Timothy's siblings can all testify to the fact that he has always twisted stories to gain his own way within our home and without.  😥  Our prayer is that God will use what has happened to heal what is broken, restore fellowship and bring God glory.

I have spent a lifetime of being the cheerful "face" to the public, while also walking through dark valleys privately.  Perhaps I have not been as real and candid as I should have been.   Perhaps being "real" with my story, would have and could have helped someone else.  I have discovered over and over that as much as we want to put a picture out to the world that things are perfect.....life is messy.  I have learned not to be afraid of the messy, for it is in those times that we realize this......

2 Corinthians 12:9: "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness..."10: "Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities... for when I am weak, then am I strong".

We love each of our children, in-laws and grandchildren deeply (including Timothy, Heidi, Charlie & their unborn baby)!  ❤️  We love each one of YOU (on social media), as well!  

Our prayer is that you will never look to us (as humans) as an example, but only to Jesus- the Author and Finisher of our faith.  

We pray that due to our candidness of our story, it will inspire wives to fight for their marriages, honor their husbands in the hard times, and allow God to work.  

We also pray that you will extend grace and forgiveness for anyway our story discouraged you. We know that we are only human, at best, and fail time and again.  But we also know that we are not living in sin or excusing sin in our lives.  We walk daily with our Saviour and strive to please Him in all we do.

Our hearts are heavy for the Timothy Rodrigues Family and we will keep them in our fervent prayers.  

All Because of Jesus, Jill (for us all)  ❤️

This is Jill reply to Tim's abuse post...i have no words

Jill's refusal to say "we never hit our children" or "David never hit me" is so, so telling. It's not hard to say "we did not hit our son with a baseball bat." Instead, it's all "Tim has always been a manipulative liar" and "could a baseball bat really dent from that?"

Something I have found very telling about the Rod response to Timothy's post is the way they are poking holes in the details of what he said rather than actually saying "Mom and Dad never hit us."

At first, I was hung up on the focus on the baseball bat. Like, it is a weird tangent to go on by both Renee and Jonathan, but they both spend a while "debunking" the baseball bat claims. Surely a bat couldn't dent from hitting a person (it can). Surely they would have had to go to the doctor if it was that bad. How can a tool that is made to hit a baseball without denting (they can and do dent) then dent upon hitting a person? There was no medical documentation or CPS follow-up, so it obviously never happened (because abusers always give medical care to their victims, and social systems are infallible when it's convenient to your narrative /s).

But it's not just the bat. It's Nurie recounting one specific time that Tim touched something his mom said not to. (Because if we can distract from the issue with enough examples of his disobedience, maybe it'll seem like he deserved it.) It's Jonathan saying that David's apology and apparent reformation is a great example for Tim. (Because if David were abusive, it's in the past, and people can change! ... except for Tim, who has always been a liar.) It's Renee saying the culture is "soft and weak" for looking for someone else to blame. (Because when it doubt, attack a man's masculinity.)

Instead of "they didn't beat us," it's "they love us (so they could not hurt us)." "You were disobedient (so you must have deserved it.)" "You lied about small things (therefore you lie about big things)."

It's hard not to think of "The Narcissist's Prayer."

That didn't happen.

And if it did, it wasn't that bad.

And if it was, that's not a big deal.

And if it is, that's not my fault.

And if it was, I didn't mean it.

And if I did, you deserved it.

Like... obviously, Timothy did some heinous shit, by his own admission. AND he likely also suffered heinous shit at the hands of his parents. Two things can be true.

I'm nervous that Timothy is feeling very alone right now. He has alienated his family and in-laws. Heidi, by all accounts, is with her family. Not saying we need to throw him a pity party, but if he is going to reform and heal, how is he going to do that with no social support?

Ellen has spoken.

That's a lot of emojis for such a heavy subject matter, but whatever.

Honestly, this is way more tactful and vague than I expected of JRod. I anticipated a full diatribe a la Renee or Nurie in the comments of Tim's post--but maybe Jill has just enough internet savvy to let her daughters do that instead of her.

I just... I don't know. I don't know!

I dug up something Jill said about David from the early days of their marriage. Just gonna let that sit here.

Tw: child abuse, physical abuse.

Y'all. Y'ALL. I cannot believe this is real except that I have seen the post with my own eyeballs.

TL;DR, Timothy recounts growing up in a physically abusive household and admits that he has gone on to abuse Heidi. He is adamant that he has never laid hands on Charlie.

Heidi is giving him a second chance.

I am both shocked by just about everything here, except for the revelation that David Rodrigues is a piece of shit. I am not surprised by that at all.

Hope Coverett offers a different perspective in the comments, though.

Looks like Jer + Hannah had their fourth, and Elizabeth (Wissmann) came to visit.

People on FJ have said they think this one is a boy, but I don't see any evidence besides a lack of bow.

If this is a boy, I'm gonna guess they pick a really trendy name like Noah, Oliver, Theo, or Liam. Jed used Oliver for Truett's middle, but the Duggars have had overlap before.

Looks like Gracie (Wikstrom) Etbauer had another baby, her fourth boy.

Riggin Asher joins brothers Grit Wes, Flint Billy, and Rosin Gabriel.

Also unless "Riggin" is secretly a word I did not know, it seems Gracie has given up on the mineral theme and is just doing Generic White People Made Up Boy Names.