Jazmine's Journal @jazminesjournal - Tumblr Blog

kind of big time wanna die tonight

#or like #at least not exist #im so tired #i feel like im just #inconsequential #and unneeded #and unwanted #and i should just shut up and disappear and let the world keep going without me

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jazminesjournal

it is so so hard to talk to him about anything and it’s just getting worse and it’s so frustrating!!!! if i have to take responsibility for my feelings and examine other reasons for the things that upset me then why shouldn’t he??? like man fuck off grey i’m so tired

jazminesjournal

every time he just says "well" i immediately get this rush and anxiety closely followed by anger because i know he's about to dismiss everything i just said. like!!!! fine!!!!!! don't listen to me!!!!!!!! it's not as if i haven't known you for three and a half FUCKING years!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!

it is so so hard to talk to him about anything and it's just getting worse and it's so frustrating!!!! if i have to take responsibility for my feelings and examine other reasons for the things that upset me then why shouldn't he??? like man fuck off grey i'm so tired

highkey wanna die but i mean what else is new

i'm struggling a lot today with the idea of having a presence

i don't think people really want me around. i think they don't mind if i'm there but if i was missing they wouldn't really... notice. and i guess that's a step up from feeling like people just flat out wish i wasn't around but it's still isolating as fuck and highkey makes me wish i was dead

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god i fucking. hate being in a space where everyone is complimenting each other and feeling like i don't belong

some snapchats i sent a friend that i don't want to lose because i've never been able to explain this phenomenon any better

dankmemeuniversity

nikeypapi

#sighhhhh

having a really hard time feeling like people want me around and that they're not avoiding me when they don't talk to me for a few days

#sigh #its been a solid two weeks of this #and im. so damn tired

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coltre

I like the idea of you thinking about me

neurosis1999

Have you ever felt empty inside like there’s nothing you’re passionate about, nothing makes you happy, you haven’t been inspired in such a long time and you don’t know who you are anymore?

i think i've given up finally....

like. i'm still sad that i can't give my friends what they want. not well at least. not as good as her. i'm still sad that i feel like i may as well not be there. but i'm too tired to fight it anymore

it is what it is. she'll always be able to captivate them in ways i can't. she'll always be able to give everything i want to but a hundred times better

if they forget me because of it. so be it. at least they'll be happy. at least they'll have her

i've honestly felt like i'm gonna be sick for the last three days because of anxiety and i'm so!!! i'd rather be dead than deal with this!!!!

i kind of hate that i always think things are my fault. like.... i gaslight myself???

#idk how to explain it #my feelings are always dumb #or they don't make sense #like. jazmine #sometimes people do wrong by you #even the people you care about #sometimes your feelings arent just your insecurities #sometimes there's actually something wrong

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satanicvaginas2-deactivated2020

anxietyproblem

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