JACK OFF UNIVERSITY🔥‼️

So a friend a mine hit me up and told me how his dumb ass got caught watching porn. This is what he told me what had happened. 

Friend: Guess what the fuck happen to me the other day.

Me:

Friend: So I’m chillin in the room it’s all loud and shit because Mom got company over in they chillin in the living room, so a nigga is horny ass fuck and decided to beat the dick. Since mom occupied she ain’t gone be calling and wanting shit best time right?

Me:

Friend: So a nigga on the iPhone scrolling through pornhub because myvidster turned into a place for white twinks ain’t shit good on there anymore. Stroking my dick and boom found my video.

Friend: Nigga here is where I fucked up, while the video is playing I decided to sync the shit so it can play on my TV through my phone and I accidentally pressed the wrong TV device and push it to sync into the living room TV. Bitch let me tell you all I heard was screams all in the living room. Nigga!! an entire video playing of one dude getting fucked into smithereens with dick juice and everything in the living room TV where Moms and her guest are at. 

Me:

Friend: My mom and everybody in the living room was traumatized. I quickly turned off the video grab my shit and bounced ain’t been back since

Me:

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So you have your ask.

STEP ONE: Highlight the word “block”

STEP TWO: Right click the word block.

STEP THREE: Click “View Selection Source”

STEP FOUR: Something like this should pop up:

Highlight the “IP” (the blacked out part). STEP FIVE: Copy the IP address and paste it to this website: http://whatismyipaddress.com/ip-lookup

1. I love you bro. We don’t tell each other as men how much we mean to each other. There is no weakness in that. Only strength, solidarity, and power.

2. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to commit to getting better.

3. Someone is depending on you, to be exactly who you are.

4. Read more. You have time to read 12 books a year (which is more than the average American). We also aren’t average.

5. Showing and sharing your emotions isn’t a sign of weakness. Paying attention to how we feel helps us become more in tune with what’s actually going on.

6. Your mental health matters. You can’t “work yourself” out of your mind. Emotional trauma is very real and worthy of our time. We’ve been through a lot recently.

7. Living is an act of resistance. You are going to live, get out all these dreams, and thrive – despite the odds.

8. You are a descendent of kings. Seriously, don’t bow your head to life. You were built for this.

9. Their opinion won’t pay your bills, or build your dreams. They won’t always see your vision. Not everyone is supposed to.

10. Failure isn’t a tattoo. Learn how to take the Ls and move on. Adapt and overcome.

11. Getting this money, and doing good, aren’t mutually exclusive. You just have to be clear on your non-negotiables and stand by them.

12. You don’t have to ask for permission to be excellent. Go for it.

13. “Everybody eat’s b” – Ace Boogie. Seriously, we can all get what we want to out here. Helping people doesn’t make you a sucker. Do have boundaries though.

14. There is absolutely nothing wrong with working for someone else (even if you’re from Harlem), but it pays to think like an owner. Signing the front of a check is very different than the back.

15. #BLACKLIVESMATTER

16. If someone knocks you for your 9-5, they (1) aren’t your friends and (2) they don’t know about your 6-10. Keep going.

17. Start owning when you can. Pay yourself first. These loans ain’t loyal.

18. We don’t need to prove anything to anyone. You’re excellent and it’s perfectly okay to still be warming up.

19. Try to take care of yourself. I love Popeyes, but what we put in ourselves can actually kill us. Exercise, eat well, and get active. Put some $$ on your jumper, and invite your team out!

20. Learning how to cook is a great look. Seriously. Watch a couple Youtube videos, hit Home Goods, and start cheffing.

1. The few things that aren’t going right. – When things go wrong, take a moment to be thankful for all the other things that are still going right. And if you’re struggling to be thankful for what you have, be thankful for what you have escaped. Sometimes the best gifts in life are the troubles you don’t have.

2. Trying to label everyone and everything. – Sometimes you’ve just got to take people and situations for what they are, appreciate them, and not try to label them or change them.

3. Worrying about what everyone else thinks. – The minute you stop overwhelming your mind with caring about what everyone else thinks, and start doing what you feel in your heart is right, is the minute you will finally feel freedom.

4. Wasting time on the wrong people. – You cannot make someone respect you; all you can do is be someone who can be respected. No matter how much you care some people just won’t care back. At some point you have to realize the truth – that they no longer care or never did, and that maybe you’re wasting your time and missing out on someone else who does.

5. Old wounds and grudges. – You will never find peace until you learn to finally let go of the hatred and hurt that lives in your heart. In order to move on, you must know why you felt the way you did, and why you no longer need to feel that way. It’s about accepting the past, letting it be, and pushing your spirit forward with good intentions.

6. Superficial judgments. –Every human being is beautiful; it just takes the right set of eyes to see it. 7. Letting small disagreements snowball out of control. – Don’t let a single poisonous moment of misunderstanding make you forget about the countless lovable moments you’ve spent together.

8. Showing a lack of self-respect. – Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should be showing yourself. Choose to be your own best friend.

yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

FUCKIN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

no BULLSHIT I KID YOU NOT! Look what I found while walking Home…..

OH MY GOD

OH MY F*CKIN GOD

THIS POST FUCKIN WORKS?!?!?! THIS IS PAST A COINCIDENCE NO WAY!??! NO FRIGGIN WAY!!!