jay21677

#wondering

#just sayin 😉

😏

I get up everyday and I fight my way through another day of feeling lost, alone and like I don’t fit in anywhere. I haven’t felt like I belong anywhere in so long. The feeling of being alone even though I’m surrounded by co-workers and friends is draining most days, but I put that fake smile on and keep pushing on. I know it comes from a childhood of not feeling loved and pushed away by my family. The trauma I went through that robbed me of the childhood I wanted and the love and the sense of belonging that I have been looking for ever since. I’m so tired, but no matter how much I feel like giving up, I take a deep breath and keep searching for where I belong.

Nice long hot shower to wash off the BS of the work week.

Sometimes you just need a hot steamy shower to wash the day away!

The dunes, the beach and the ocean are some of my places of zen.

One of my absolutely favorite places to escape from reality!🎡🎠🎢

Sometimes you just need to lay down nude and feel vulnerable every once and awhile! #me #black&white

Every time I walk by this tree in the forest I want to place my hand on its trunk and wish I could hear it’s story of the different people and creatures that have walked down it’s path. To see and hear about all the changes that have come and gone in it’s time in the forest. Trees are wondrous and beautiful. #forest #nature

Who wants to sit here with me and watch the sunset?

Would you sit by this peaceful river naked and soak in nature?

Even though it’s May I like the fact that it’s still cool enough outside to wear gray sweatpants 😉😏

Sometimes you just need to feel vulnerable even if you’re the only one in the room.

The trail through life is a winding one. If you are too focused on what is at the far end you will miss the beauty that is right in front of you and surrounds you. Slow down and enjoy as much of the journey as possible, because it will go faster than you think. Experience the things along this trail of life that bring you joy and try to experience the things that are outside your comfort zone or have always wanted to try, but are afraid and nervous too. Being in nature is one of my true joys and fulfills me. One day I would like to walk a trail naked and exposed to truly feel rawness of nature. Being naked should not be frowned upon in the right setting. Either alone or with someone who is as nervous, but comfortable in sharing the rawness of a natural nude human experiencing nature at its rawest form like our ancestors did.

Some days the bridge to the other side of week is normal and other days it’s seems so far away!🌉

Most of us go through our daily lives and routines looking “normal” to the outside world. But some of us have gone through things in our lives that have taught us to hide and bury our pain. Even though we have friends, family and coworkers, some new and some old, we still hide the feelings of sadness and loneliness. What we really see is ourselves is that we are alone, anxious, and nude down a darkened hallway where we hide our pain from the world. Sometimes if you can find the strength you will shine a light down that hallway to the individual or very small group of people you trust and show them how much you are hurting inside.