Poems of Jason Helbig

What bridge can cross this chasm? And would I take it? What quake can close it? A magnitude never seen of this scale What river can fill it? I prefer swimming to boating, but is it too wide What tight rope can conjoin this chasm? I would (terrified) watch you walk it to me . Our history diverged after the preface We never made it to the intro By chapter one there was an echo Now writing the two hundred fourty second And we're far past hearing, Occasionally a hopeful bend, and I see you But not close enough to even read your lips . One of mine claims to have been to your side, And is reporting your version of the story Egnarts, you seem to see it all backwards .

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

What could ever close this chasm?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Perhaps I should start with........ an apology.

And a step...

Your zion beyond

the vast big blue

deteriorates only years later

--

the world has flocked to her new hope

promises of better tomorrow's delivered today

with a note of caution, the disclaimer:

it's always today. And Mr Whitman

--

Your broadshouldered freespirited macrame

felt the wind tickle his locks and

sunbrazened smiles stepping boldly through

the new frontier only to

trip facefirst and mudmask on broken pride

--

sorry sirs we did not stand

upon the rock of your grandiose expectations

washed by the crashing wave of being human

--

though I've heard a whisper

that Zion is arriving

the hunt and the wounded howl

when pain draped the world in a putrid cowl

when pain was the midnight black

we sank, escaping further attack

when pain was the waterfall of emotions

dambursts from an endless hating ocean

when pain wore your heart in redshame

when love

was the lachrymal rain

drowning the hunt and the wounded howl

when pain stole your face in bloodstain shout

when pain diseased brought funeral eyes and the evil hearse

when pain an axe crown that would not kill

watching your soul seep from the flowers given still

when pain pissed upon with boiling redshame

when love

was the lachrymal rain

drowning the hunt and the wounded howl

I slowly stripped my armor setting it on the floor. I quieted the raging. Uncorked the stories from my ears and refused to speak over, but instead just to listen.

I laid my baggage on the bed and named it and unpacked it.

My flesh a sickle,

my hair a rope,

and my lips acid

when I am unaware and careless. I took a deep breath, plunged in and allowed your seed to be planted. Your viewpoint to be rooted. And watered it, sun-fed over years. Blood-drenched fingers trimming back the rocks that grew up around my new sapling. Attempting to suffocate and crush it. My foot won't fit in your shoes, but I see them. I'm memorizing, I'm learning the crevices on your soles. I see the tattering of your laces. I smell the sweat in the inners.

And now I know that there are shoes other than mine.

And

the wrestling with reality, with words

thoughts of the un-understood

mountains and ridges flattened

yet valleys remain and deepen

still each step grows lower and steeper

until I'm gasping, drowning in disbelief

greens fade to grey

yellows fade to white

blues becomes black

and I'm in kansas now

heartshattered and breathless

a chasing of the void

the quiet whisper of your voice

glancing your smile in the crowd

the echoes of your dreams (surrounding)

silverscreen door and I

spiderstance gaze beyond

that morbid sight

into the pinhole electric night

The seeking and the sinking The sought and the sank Evolving tidal waves engulfing and retreating Always the empty This scar never heals Festering and raw -- The small delights are all I ask for I can still see your smiling eyes laughing at the joys And I can still hear your tender heart Caring for the wounded -- The lachrymose and the lost Underneath and unknown Returning tomorrow And it's always today

the rising of the dusk and my world weeps for the release of its midnight butterfly radiant revelation rejoicing -- the noblest cheer of love perceiving truth unseen by another hoping these stars shine forever and the moon beaming together -- can you be the queen dancing in this court? can you be the bursting of a yes? -- I cried when your venus enveloped the mars of my tomorrow years in an upward spiral of forgetting who I once knew myself to be and standing... faced with hazel eyes -- if I gave you a dream would you know it's true? if you gave me a dream would you know it's you?

if I speak to you my deepest love I would in tongues never heard the lips of my soul in an eternal whisper, this precious language trampled under, mundane but sensing sometimes your heartdrum faintly flutters, straining in the howl when we are silent adoring embracing with our eyes I proclaim to you my deepest love and it is singing in tongues never heard

will beauty still embrace me when she walks so free? silent in hope can I be your hero?

--

when my heart leapt from my chest courageous craving thirsting for the new striding onward with a smile that drinks the sun shoulders back chin up noble and true

--

when my heart leapt from my chest an ember the world witnessed, danced for the dawning of your new day humble assured whisperings of what may lie down this unfamiliar road releasing their darkness, fearful and cold embracing your light, fearless and bold