Reading some of our conversations over reminds me of all the time we spent together. It still baffles me how you were so cute to me despite everything. I'm not here to bad-mouth you or run your name into the dirt but damn we really went through all that. If you think about it like that I guess it isn't too bad.

After a breakup people tend to reminisce about all the happy times and forget the bad times. Our relationship had more bad times than good in my opinion. I'm telling myself I wasted my own time bc I don't want to admit that I'm the reason we ended it. If you told me this a year ago I wouldn't believe it.

I'm also telling myself that you're probably talking to that Korean army girl you work with to make myself feel better. I'm assuming she's Korean bc her last name is "Kim" on your phone. Plus, you sent her a picture of Nala and she responded the way a female would. I wonder what you share w her and if you relate to her on some level.

It would be p shitty if you ended up dating someone from your unit but I don't think you'd jeopardize your career for that since it's frowned upon.

I keep thinking about what will happen without you in my life. It's kind of a blur rn considering I joined partially for our future together. Now it's just a future by myself and idk how I feel about it. If I end up dating someone in the military, it would just be weird. If I end up dating a civilian.. it sounds like a shit ton of work that I'm not willing to do for anyone other than you right now.

I'm typing these nonsense conversations in the hopes that you notice I'm still here. If you read my previous texts or if you deleted everything altogether bc fuck me, right?

I guess there is such a thing as soulmates. It looks like we weren't it. No matter how hard we tried to make it all work, we failed.

Not being able to see you progress and flourish in life saddens me. You were the closest person to me for a while and losing your friendship is the worst part of it all tbh.

But we're we really friends though? I always caught myself pushing and pulling away bc of our lack of emotional conversations. For you, it would probably be more on the intellectual end.

I wish that I could just call you and talk about everything but I don't know what to say if you actually picked up the phone. I wonder if you're waiting for me to call you or if you really just don't give a fuck.

Anyway, I should just leave it alone. You obviously are still hurt and no longer love me the way you did yesterday. I'd say sorry a million times if I knew it would get you back but I have a feeling like it won't.