Janella Rose

3, 2, 1 ...

No, that is not a countdown. 

Those numbers are reminders, yes reminders.

3

You have three subjects that you need to pass in order to graduate this semester 

2

2 weeks from now, you will take your Finals Mock Board Examination

1

You only have one last chance this coming May 15, 2016

Hey! I know you’re tired but will you just let your almost 5 years of efforts go to waste? I know being a Certified Public Accountant was never ever part of your wildest dreams but look how far you’ve got. Maybe somewhere inside you wants this that is why you have been working hard all this time even though you would always say that you’re done with this course. 

Pressure, weary, fear, and anxiety will always be there. It’s okay to cry. Let it out. You don’t always have to be the “brave” Janella you project to your loved ones. I’m sure they always got your back no matter what. It’s okay to have breakdowns but make sure you get back up. Believe in yourself and have faith in God’s plan. Just do your best and God will make sure you’ll get what you deserve. 

  Love you,

self

Yesterday, I went to see a movie entitled “Everyday I Love You” with my friend. 

Characters:

Audrey - Liza Soberano

Tristan - Gerald  Anderson

Ethan - Enrique Gil

Details about the movie relevant to this post:

Audrey’s waiting for Tristan to wake up from a coma because of a vehicular accident. Before the accident, Audrey told Tristan that she is applying for a hosting internship in Manila which he did not like and sparked an argument. Tristan is the kind of boyfriend who tells Audrey what to do and what not to do. Because of this Audrey changed. Her family noticed that she was not herself anymore.While waiting for Tristan to wake up, Audrey met Ethan who unlocked her desire to host once again. She had the chance to make her dreams come true which brought back her old self. The one that her family missed, her happy and funny side.

I can’t help but recall something from my past that’s quite similar with the story. The part where Gerald Anderson’s character - Tristan - is the “you should and should not do this or that” kind of boyfriend.

Well, I had my first boyfriend (haven’t had any since our breakup up to now) at the age of 15 (4th year high school). Our relationship lasted for 11 months. 

It was a good relationship except for one thing - we had been somewhat hard on each other. He became just like Tristan in the movie. **Not to give all the blame to him, I might have reciprocated his acts and I think I became the “jealous” type of girlfriend at some point** I did not notice it during our relationship (or I noticed it but did not mind it) maybe because of the cliche phrase “Love is blind”. Yes, I strongly attest to this phrase. 

So over the years, of course I’ve moved on. I even consider us friends even though we haven’t talked in years. :) (mamaya assumera lang pala ako eh no? Hahahaha)

With this experience, I’ve realized something. 

Maybe some people go through these things for us to: See our self worth. That we are not somebody’s robot for them to tell us what to do or what not to do. That we have the freedom to do whatever we like and nobody has the right to stop us. We should have the courage to stand up for ourselves and not to submit ourselves to them just to keep the relationship. We don’t need to change for anybody. 

And....

If in a relationship, we’re not happy and the relationship’s not healthy anymore, then it needs to end. Don’t cling onto something that kills you inside. It will be hard, yes, but it will definitely be worth it. Maybe someday we’ll meet someone who will love us for who we are. That we need not do or not do things just for him/her to be happy and satisfied. We just have to be ourselves and he/she will love us unconditionally. 

Audrey found hers, maybe I’ll find mine too. “SA TAMANG PANAHON” :’)

She used to challenge her limits 

She used to get out of her comfort zone

She used to want nothing less than perfect

She used to be confident

Some might have even hated her guts

But suddenly, she was lost. She was put into a world she’s not accustomed to. Little by little she lost her confidence. Days, months and years passed by she did not even notice that she settled for “okay na ‘yan”, “basta pumasa”, “bahala na”.

Now, she’s facing one of the most difficult times in her life (academic life specifically). With all that is happening, she wants to bring back who she used to be.

But how? Because every time she feels that she is slowly being able to bring her old self back, some unfortunate things just happen and brings her back to reality. It’s like the whole universe is up against her. She’s tired mentally, physically and emotionally. She wants to give up but she knows that it is not one of her options. Her only option is to be strong and get her life together.

So everyday she put a smile on her face like nothing’s going on with hope that soon enough, she will be able to say, “I believe in myself and I know can go through this just like before.”