I want pictures of giant lizards!

“Of course, Jamie, take as many as you desire.”

“Alright!” Jamie took out her camera and started taking pictures of him, all from different angles. “Wow. I think you should totally moonlight as a model. Ever thought of that?”

“You’d do that?  After I gave you a whole cake?”  He raised an eyebrow, clicking his tongue.  “That’s an interesting way to thank me.  No, no.  The cake is in your possession now – you don’t get to ask me questions, Jameson.  But yes, when exactly am I getting this coffee?  Because I gotta stay up late working on the Avengers case and there’s no way I’m getting by with just my enthusiasm.”  

“Of course I would. What kind of question is that?” She grabbed a tiny spoon out of her purse and started devouring her cake, little by little. “Wait... Please don’t tell me that it’s your birthday today. I’d feel like the worst person in the world. Oh and about that coffee–” She held out a five dollar bill, waving it in front of him. “Here. Go get yourself some coffee.”

“An insurance company.”

“Did you do something bad?”

“Honored to meet you, Thor, of Asgard. I’m Jamie... uh, of The Daily Bugle. Is it okay If I took a few pictures of you?”

“Oh my god! You’re that lightning guy from the news! I am not worthy.”

“Ouch. I can’t even imagine the pain you went through. Who did you call?”

“The weirdest thing I ever saw at work was this lady come in with her dog in a stroller, and her kid on a leash. At ten o’clock at night. She walked straight into the bar, stopped, then turned and walked out. …But you get all sorts of weird things happening in bars.”

“Were you drunk at the time or was that for real? She brought her kid to a bar? That’s crazy. Especially that leash thing. I can’t believe people still do that.”

“Realm? Your people?”

“I just hope they played you good on-hold music for forty five minutes.”

“Alright, be honest with me. How bad does it look?” Wanda asked, tugging at the neck of her shirt to show the scar at the center of her chest. “Word to the wise, don’t get hit by lightning.”

Jamie peeked at her lightning scars, amazed by how unusual it looked. “Oh, wow. I’ve seen nothing like that before! It’s so... cool. How does it feel? How did you end up like this?”

“Have you heard your dad?” Sam raised an eyebrow. “You know, I could ask you the same.  But alright, I’m willing to share.  So long as I get that cup of coffee.  –Come on, Jamie.  If you’re gonna try to scare me you should use something new.  He’s been writing me termination letters for years.”

“Are you saying that he whines? ‘Cause if you do, I’ll tell him you said that.” Jamie crossed her arms. “I’ve told why I needed it so bad. Why did you buy a whole cake anyway? – Ah, finally, thank you. Ugh, alright I’ll get you one. Hm, how do I scare you... oh! I’ve heard he’s decreasing your wage.”

“Wait... what exactly have you been doing?”

“It was an accident, I swear! I didn’t want to hurt him, I tried to stop!”

“Ok... ok, calm down and tell me what you did. Where’s the body?”

“A-accidentally or...um, on purpose? Either way, I should call the police.”

“I’d have to rip your pretty little face in two if you told what you heard to anyone.”

“Pft, you don’t even know my name and my address.“

“I think the alliance with the X-Men is a great idea. We’ll get to destroy them from the inside. First we use them to achieve our goal, then when they’re not useful anymore, we ruin them. This is perfect. Maybe it was Magneto’s plan all along.“

“Wow, that’s front page material right there. I can’t believe that you’re very open about this. Are you going to kill me if I wrote down everything you said and send it to The Daily Bugle?”

“…Upsidown kiss thing? No–No that’s not my trick, that’s– that the other spiderman. It’s pretty cute huh?”

“I’m sorry, I get confused between Spider-Mans. It is pretty cute, I must say. Maybe you should try it sometime later. I used to have a picture of the upside-down kiss hung on my wall.”