the remedy

Y’know, despite being a stick in the mud, the mermaid isn’t a bad lay. The older one. Oldest one? Got a lot of spunk. Definitely would fuck again. But only if she asked nicely.  @melmeltriton

Hm. I didn’t know that Elodie was pregnant. Guess shit happens when you go to jail. Hate that she went to jail, though. Definitely not proud of her at all. 

Wow, I had my money on Elodie. Wild. Um, I’m not your ‘love’. And you know our adventure in babysitting was a one-time thing. A one-time babysitting experience. You’re on your own with all your….babysitting from now on. 

 I’d prefer if it was neither of them. I call everyone love, love. Don’t think it’s anything special. Hah, please. I’d like you to tell that to the girl who snuck into my bed after said babysitting experience. Once you go Jay Smee, you never go back, love. It’s just a matter of time before you come back to help me -- babysit. 

Posey: Ugh, Jay don't be like this! We used protection, we just used it...wrong. Cause I'm dumb.

Posey: But he's the most amazing guy and we're gonna do this together and I want our baby to be born into a stress-free environment so PLEASE DON'T HATE ME.

Jay: You're not dumb. You should've used /extra/.

Posey: ohhhhh my God first of all it's 'new phone who dis' and secondly don't ignore me! I just needed to wait to tell you guys til we were protected by Walt. I didn't want you freaking out at Orion.

Jay: Oh, m'sorry! I didn't know that a MOTHER knew about the kid lingo.

Your sister’s what?! Which sister?! Well, regardless, it’s a good thing you have some babysitting experience now if you’re going to be an uncle. Congratulations! 

Posey! There’s nothin’ good that comes from this.  Oh, would y’be joining me during this babysitting experience, too, love? 

Posey: I SWEAR I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU.

If I didn’t think Elodie would stab me in my sleep or seduce me just to make me associate erections with dead mothers again if I were to become your first mate, I’d totally volunteer. But lucky for me, I value my life and also can’t go back to being a pirate ever again so good luck in your search, man. 

Hey, if y'wanna go fuck y'dead mom, that’s on you. Dead people can be hot, m’certainly not one to judge on who y’wanna fuck.  Why not!? Pirate life s’the best! Alcohol all day, the sea wind burning y’face. She misses ya, mate. Y’should rethink the whole not bein’ a pirate thing again. 

I feel like taking applications for a first mate is a good way to lure Ellie into terrorizing complete and total strangers. Why don’t you just let her do it? Seems simple enough to me.

Well, since Posey’s not gon’ be doin’ any kind of pirating, might as well get the other one to join. I never said I wouldn’t, but I don’t see her offerin’ up any kinds of piratey talents to the table. 

Well, first off, thanks for making me wanta watch Doctor Who, jagoff.  #TeamDonna. Secondly, I can’t buy booze here yet, which is, um, stupid, but I digress. Why are you advertising in Walt of all places? You’re gonna get stuck with some Green Peace wannabe sailor who just wants to sail to save the whales. And while whales are fine and dandy, who wants to listen to that? I’d drink myself into the only regrettable drunken stupor of my life.

What the fuck kinda name is Doctor Who? That’s confusing as hell. Y’know, I don’t even wanna know.  Because, this is where I am currently so why not? ‘Sides, not everyone here is all wishes and pixie dust. There’s gotta be someone who’s got a rough edge to ‘em. Who can handle the sea and all o’her glory. 

Posey: ah frick I thought I sent you and El the version I sent dad. uummmm ignore everything after the first sentence then! ;P

Jay: I mean, that's cool that you're safe but

I think I need a second job – I’m starting to get like lowkey teeny tiny a little bit bored in all of the hours I’m not spending at the yoga studio. Anyone know anyplace that’s hiring? Or anyplace that seems like a good fit for me?

Y’could always come and be m’first mate. The last guy didn’t quite work out, and it’d be interestin’ to have a siren on t’ship rather than one trying t’kill us.  Y’wouldn’t even need a second job.Think on it.