I have sat through 8 years of this. For so long I protected him. Why does he have girls travel across the country and start a new life when he is done with you? This man made me loose my mind. He made me evil, cold and scary. When dealing with alcoholism I became a monster. (James you like that term). I swallowed down what you did to me and acted out in an inappropriate way. At this point I was in my early 20’s and you were in your mid 30s. I was figuring out what independence meant while you were designing a well thought out road map on how to make a women feel crazy. While I said horrible and mean things to you. And spent your money. And called you names and begged for you to die. You sat there and soaked it in. You used this as a chance to coin me as a borderline. Here you posted our text conversations, screenshots and emails. You showed the world what mad 20 year old is like. But no one saw that you flew your other girlfriend to our home, slept with her while I was in a new state calling you non stop wondering if you were alive, you created multiple Instagram accounts which you blocked me from - showing the life “we” were living without me in the picture, lied and manipulated your location, lied about who you were living with, lied about jobs, about who you were married too, who had the title to your car. This man called me while I was in the hospital trying to heal after depression anxiety and addiction took over me. He called me on my birthday and had his mistress walk in the door while on the phone. Over time I grew paranoid and left. I tried to leave multiple times. I slept with men to try to forget him. To try to move on. But after emailing me 1000s of times, 100s of call and voicemails on no caller ID, endless “gifts” (things you liked) , endless promises and manipulation I kept coming back. But that’s what you do. You make a person feel crazy for how they chose to escape you. You are a monster. You have never admitted to what you’ve done. You cannot speak the words. You are not innocent. I begged you to call me after wanting to end my life. When the reason I wanted to die was because of your manipulation. You hurt me in ways I didn’t even know were possible. You created a person I didn’t recognize and then you killed her too. I can’t think about you in a positive light. I can no longer protect your name and honor you. I fear you. I fear for the women who are next. Ladies if you are reading this…trust your gut and leave after the first red flag. I was so young and impaired for the majority of this relationship. I couldn’t remember so many things he had done to me because the trauma was so extreme that my brain blocked it out. I am no longer going to beg anyone to tell me the truth. I am no longer going to let a man fuck me after my parents funeral. I’m not gonna suck your dick after you fuck my sister. Im not gonna find another girl to join our bedroom while you already are out there doing that on your own. You’re evil. And unable to be accountable. If you think I am crazy reader you are right. But remember that you weren’t the one who has gone through the things this man put me through. Just because he is 6’4, tattoos and pretty eyes doesn’t mean he is an angel. He calls himself the devil and my mistake was thinking he was joking. I feel sick posting this. And gross. I want to move on and not give you the power anymore. I’m ashamed to even feel the need to post this. But I’m angry. I’m fucking furious. I hate you for what you’ve done. I was 19 years old.
