Jaime.L.

I just want to be held and loved. I just don’t want to feel like a outcast, or forgotten by everyone. I don’t want to feel like I’m in anyone’s way, or that I’m bothering anyone. Unfortunately, that’s all I feel. Maybe one day....

Mother’s Day.. the day we celebrate our mothers, grandmothers, and those who have had a hand in raising us into the people we are. But today, there’s a secret pain, a pain that sometimes people talk about, but sometimes, they don’t. Those women who desire to be a mother. So many women have tried for years and years, only to be disappointed when they don’t conceive yet again. Women who have conceived, but then had to give their babies back, whether by miscarriage or stillbirth. And then there’s the women like myself, who desire to be mothers, and yet... they’ve not had the chance to even try. It didn’t used to bother me when I was younger, at 19/21/23 I could celebrate my mom and be happy I had her and that was all that mattered. But since around 27 or so, Mother’s Day has gotten that much harder. I always thought I’d be married and have a couple of kids by now, but that isn’t the case. I’m 29 now, and each year that passes without finding love and being able to become a mother kills me a little more inside. I can’t share openly with friends and family, because they’ll tell me I’m being selfish, or that I count because I’m helping raise my nephews and niece. They’ll say it’ll happen when I least expect, all in God’s time. Which is true, I guess. But when I look around and see the women that surround me with all that I want, I can’t help but to feel my heart break a little more.