Relieved that their colleague appeared to be the very same man they’d known for years, allies of Sen. Mitch McConnell told reporters Friday they had recently met with the seven-term Kentucky Republican inside a body bag. “Like so many Americans, we had our concerns about Mitch, but when the technician unzipped that vinyl pouch and let me crawl in next to him, I knew there was nothing to worry about,” said Senate Majority Leader John Thune, noting that McConnell was quiet and appeared contemplative throughout the visit as leading Republican lawmakers shared the latest news from Capitol Hill.

"oh you poor thing. your live service games always neglect male characters? and if they make them playable it's always baby faced twinks covered from head-to-toe? and they're written aggressively straight?

well, don't worry, I'm here now. there, there, you can touch my chest. I want you to call me daddy uncle, and come to my underwater kingdom where we indulge in our urges whether it's violence, torture or orgies revelry. I've broken many hearts, you know? had lovers and friends with benefits from all genders, and I'm not ashamed of it. I'm obviously immortal, but sometimes I let time age my body, that was a good choice, right?"

-ancient roman posca: water, red or white wine vinegar, honey, salt, herbs (coriander, mint, thyme)

-switchel: water, ginger, vinegar, sweetener, lemon, salt

-ayran: yogurt, water, salt, mint

-sees the reports of the heatwave in Europe-

falling asleep on the couch // falling asleep at the desk