black.

Fear (n.) - something that has controlled my life, since childhood.

At 28 years of age, I've always been afraid to step out of my comfort zone, afraid to move forward, afraid to let go so that I can grow, mentally, financially, physically & spiritually. I do not like being uncomfortable, and that fear is why I'm where I am right now.

Separation anxiety, another reason why I'm hesitant to move forward. I love my family, the group I sing with, the teams I assist in coaching, and friends i've grown close with. Moving away to a new place, means leaving most of that behind and starting over. I hate starting over. I love sticking to what I'm used to.

Guilt, the feeling I have every time I leave the old and start something new. I recently joined a new church home, and of course, there is always the feeling guilt for making that decision, leaving your home church to go somewhere else so that you can grow spiritually. I recently started a new job, and of course, the old job was comfortable, the old job was a 3 year situation that I was used to, I knew every task like the back of my hand, and now I'm at a new job, still learning, still unsure of things...

I have to stop feeling guilty, I have to stop being a afraid, and I have to step outside of my comfort zone. Take leaps of faith, move forward and be a little uncomfortable for awhile, start fresh, so that I can grow, meet new people, experience new things, expose myself to new surroundings, gain new opportunities, and stop worrying about the "what-ifs".. that time is now! I can no longer be afraid to take those steps!

There will be no more fear.

There will be no more guilt.

No more second guessing.

I have to overcome.

I have to grow.

I have to do whats best for me.