moved to @linovrse

it was past midnight when he finally finished what he was working on and arrived home

he unlocked the door as quietly as possible in case you were sleeping

and lucky he did, because as soon as chan walked into your cozy shared apartment, he saw you asleep on the couch; tv quietly playing in the background and a book in your hand.

cute, he thought. you’d tried to stay awake for him

chan quickly washed up and changed into pyjamas before returning to the living room to bring you to bed

as carefully as possible, chan slowly lifted your sleeping body off the couch and into his arms

he loved holding you like this. holding you close to him.

chan brought you to your shared room and gently placed you on the bed, trying not to wake you

this didn’t work as well as he’s thought, however, as you stirred and mumbled tiredly

“shh go back to sleep, love” chan would gently stroke your hair as he lulled you back to sleep.

his soft sleepy voice and delicate touches worked as you fell back asleep almost instantly

when your breathing evened out once more, chan placed a gentle kiss to the crown of your head

“goodnight, sweetheart. i love you” he whispered lovingly

although your ears couldn’t hear your boyfriend’s words, your heart certainly did as you subconsciously snuggled closer to him as a small smile graced your sleeping lips

chan smiled too, falling asleep not long after with you safely in his arms

©️ linovrse 2023

you hear your phone buzz beside you. it’s a message from your boyfriend.

min 💌: i’m home, pretty.

min 💌 : i got some food for us,, you only get some if you open the door though !

a bright smile graces your soft features as you unlock and open the door for your boyfriend. you let him step inside and close the door behind him before grabbing one of the takeout bags from his hands to bring to the kitchen.

once the food is sat safely on the counter top, minho corners you and traps you in his arms. “min, let me go~,” you whine jokingly, “i wanna eat~”.

“no food until you give me attention” minho pouts, poking at your sides. you reluctantly wrap your arms around him, burying your face in his neck. he hugs you back, only to then squeeze and poke your butt, making you jump. “min!!” you slap his chest. he smirks down at you and grabs your hand, dragging you to sit at the counter where the food is.

you eat together as minho tells you about his day and shows you videos that he took of jeongin critiquing chan’s fashion choices.

he splashes water on you as you wash the dishes together, telling you that you “missed a spot” and throwing water into the plate that you’re trying to dry. he giggles and kisses your hair when you huff in frustration.

by the time you finally finish up in the kitchen, it’s nearing 10pm. after washing up, you do your skincare together. you secretly snap photos of minho when his face is all foamy from cleanser. little do you know, he does the same to you. you stash your photos into a folder that you’ve called “minmin🫶” and he puts his into one called “my love🫂❤️”.

you get into bed before minho does. laying on your stomach, you scroll through your phone while you wait for your boyfriend to join you. when he does, he makes himself known by dumping almost all of his body weight onto your back as he decides that your body will make a great pillow (he holds himself up a bit, though, because he doesn’t want to actually hurt you). the attack was sudden and unexpected, so you struggle under him until he finally pushes the rest of his weight off you but keeps his body over yours so that you’re trapped for the second time that night.

“minho, we need to sleep” you whine

“yeah? but i like this position. i’m comfy~” he teases with a smirk

“minhoooo”

“fine, but only if you promise to give me a kiss”

rolling your eyes, you turn face minho once he lays down beside you.

you shuffle yourself closer to him and study his face. his round, captivating eyes, his sharp nose, his plump lips. you lean forward and kiss the corner of his pretty lips.

“you missed” he mutters against your skin, gently stroking your hair with his hand.

“hmm, did i?” you pull back slightly to look him in the eyes.

“yeah” he mumbles and kisses you on the lips. the kiss is lazy and tired, yet sweet and perfect.

minho pulls you closer and turns off the light beside your bed.

with his arm wrapped around your body and your head cradled softly in his chest, his steady heartbeat lulls you towards the sweet temptation of sleep.

“g’night, yn”

“g’night minho”

“i love you” he places a gentle kiss on your hairline.

WARNINGS | vaginal penetration (p in v), fingering (f receiving), protected sex & unprotected sex (discussed beforehand, but wrap it before you tap it), degradation (reader receiving), praise (reader & hyune receiving), lots of pet names (good girl, might be a princess in there, baby, sweetheart, etc.), hyunjin is a little bit of a dick but he redeems himself, reader wears hyunjin's shirt, small fight scene but not too graphic, hyunjin & reader argue a lot, hyunjin & reader are both a little mean to each other, bff yeji who knocks sense into reader, guy in the chair jisung, hyunjin & reader are a little stupid about their feelings but its okay, let me know if i missed anything important !!

WORDS | 25k ( approx. 1hr & 24min read)

enjoy my loves ‹3 please reblog and leave some feedback if you read through to the end ‹3

You didn’t like to say you “hated” people, but when it came to Hwang Hyunjin, it took every ounce of your strength not to say you did. He was cocky, arrogant, and he was smart. That was probably what you disliked most about him. It didn’t seem fair that someone as unbearably smug, overconfident, and conceited as him was also an academic genius. He was on the same level of arrogance as the jocks who had roamed the halls of your high school, but he, unfortunately, wasn’t as airheaded as they were. If he was, you may have been able to feel sorry for him. Instead, you had to face his annoying comments and unfair intelligence. 

“What’d you get on your physics exam, yn?” Hyunjin asked, leaning back in his seat to try and peek at your paper. 

You smirked at him in return, knowing full well he hadn’t studied for this particular exam (you’d overheard him talking about it with his friend, Han Jisung, before class the day of the exam). You felt confident you’d gotten a better score on the exam than he did, so you grinned as you displayed your exam. When you showed the paper to him, a big “95%” stared back at him. 

But your feeling of triumph didn’t last long. The smirk fell from your lips as he showed his paper to you. 97%. Your jaw dropped in disbelief. “How the fuck?” 

“I’m just that smart,” Hyunjin laughed, pulling his paper away and tucking it into his bag. “I’ve been doing physics since I was a kid, though, so don’t feel bad. There’s no way you could score better than me.” 

“You didn’t even study!” 

Needless to say, you were fuming. It wasn’t fair how effortlessly subjects like math and science and physics came to him. It came easier to you than it did to some others, but it was still hard work. It irritated you to no end that he didn’t have to work nearly as hard as you did. 

He shrugged, annoying smirk still plastered on his face. He leaned back in his seat again, hands behind his head as he kept his eyes fixed on you. “Guess I just don’t need to.” 

You rolled your eyes, lips closed tightly and jaw clenched. If you opened your mouth, you were certain you’d say something you would regret—something truly nasty. Thankfully, you were saved from a bout of bickering with Hyunjin by your professor beginning the lesson for the day. 

You tried not to let Hyunjin get to you. It wouldn’t help anything; it would only make you more bitter. You also tried to pay attention to what your professor was teaching, but your mind only drifted back to the cocksure man seated in front of you, hardly even glancing at the front of the classroom. Hyunjin seemed to know exactly how to push your buttons—how to make you feel most insecure and most angry. 

You hardly registered class ending, hardly registered yourself packing up your bag and hurrying out of the classroom. You didn’t notice Hyunjin watching you leave, didn’t notice the way his eyes softened with concern for a split second as you stormed past him. 

Truthfully, he’d never meant for your little rivalry to get so out of hand. Sure, he was the one always picking on you and he was the one who’d started the battle of wits and academic achievement in the first place. But he hadn’t ever meant to turn into someone you genuinely hated. And as time went on, he found himself growing tired of your petty arguments. You did get on his last nerve, but he wasn’t trying to be a bad guy. 

He sighed as he packed up his own things, drained from his interaction with you. He looked up as Jisung walked over to him but didn’t greet him, so Jisung crossed his arms, “Are you finally feeling guilty about the stupid rivalry you started with yn?” 

“As if,” Hyunjin scoffed, glaring at the, now empty, doorway you’d disappeared through. “I mean, yeah, I feel like an asshole. But it’s like… I can’t stop. Her existence grates on my nerves.” 

“What did she even do anyways? You’ve been competing with her in academics since high school.” 

“I don’t really… remember, I guess. But, she’s always trying to “one up” me and I hate that.” Hyunjin sighed, following Jisung out of the classroom. 

Your voice pulled Hyunjin out of his thoughts and he turned to see you leaning against the wall, talking to your friends while you showed them something on your phone. He stopped walking, trying to hear what you were saying. He didn’t even know why he was so concerned with what you were talking about, but maybe it would be something he could use to tease you with later. 

“...and after watching this video eight times in a row, I think it’s safe to say that I’m a little obsessed with Spider-Man.”

Your friend, Chaeryoung, snorted and pushed your phone back at you. “Yn, you’ve been obsessed with Spider-Man since he saved your dog from getting hit by that car our junior year of high school.”

“Yeah,” Yeji patted you on the shoulder, shooting you a knowing smile, “and you’re literally the president of an online Spider-Man fanclub.” 

You whined, pouting dramatically as you slipped your phone back into your pocket. “Guys, just let me pretend this is my breaking point.” 

Hyunjin couldn’t help the smirk that played across his lips, his good mood restored. Without even knowing it, you were gushing over him.

“Dude, let’s go. We’re going to be late to biochem,” Jisung tugged on Hyunjin’s arm, pulling him in the direction of their biochem class. 

Hyunjin and Jisung walked past you and your friends and he ignored the harsh glare you shot him, willing himself not to glance in your direction. He figured you wouldn’t appreciate the smirk that still tugged at the corners of his mouth and he didn’t want to strike up another argument while he was on his way to class. 

“I cannot stand Hwang Hyunjin,” you all but growled as he stalked past you and your friends. You were still hurt and upset about your earlier encounter with him. 

Yeji rolled her eyes at him as he walked past and crossed her arms. “He’s an asshole. I’m sorry he’s such a cocky son of a bitch to you.” 

“It’s not your fault,” you huffed, looking away from him and focusing on the girls in front of you. “I shouldn’t be so bothered by it. After all, we’re adults. But still… I can’t help but feel bothered every time he talks about his fucking grades and how smart he is.”

“Valid, honestly. He’s a huge prick to you. I don’t get why he has to act like a fucking child,” Chaeryoung hissed, watching as Hyunjin disappeared around a corner.

You shrugged and pushed yourself away from the wall, shouldering your bag and walking toward the exit of the building. “Let’s just stop talking about him. Do you guys want to come to the cafe with me? I have some homework I need to do and I need to start studying for this next exam.” 

“Sure, I’ll tell Ryujin, Lia, and Yuna to meet us there.” Chaeryoung pulled out her own phone, sending a message to the group chat you had with your five friends.

As you walked to the cafe, you were vaguely aware of Yeji and Chaeryoung bickering over something (probably irrelevant). You just couldn’t stop your mind from wandering back to Hyunjin. It was honestly such a shame that he was such a dick—it ruined his beautiful face. It was upsetting that such a pretty face was stuck on someone with such a terrible attitude. 

By the time you arrived at the cafe, Ryujin, Lia, and Yuna were already there, waiting at a large corner booth for you, Yeji, and Chaeryoung. You all ordered your drinks and once you’d all received your orders, you settled in, catching each other up on the things that had happened while you were apart. You spoke last, explaining what had happened between you and Hyunjin only an hour before.

“What a jerk!” Lia gasped, taking an angry sip of her drink. 

Ryujin nodded in agreement, “I know I’ve said it before, but, seriously, just ignore him. He keeps picking at you because you give him a reaction—attention. Ignoring him seems like the best option.” 

While part of you agreed with this, the other part of you wanted to be petty and wanted to keep reacting. And you knew deep down that there was no way you would stop your rivalry against him until you were better than he was. Getting a better score on the next physics exam was a necessity. Losing to Hyunjin was simply not an option for you at this point. 

“But,” Yeji interjected, giving Ryujin a look, “we know you won’t go down without a fight when it comes to Hyunjin. So we’ll help you study for your physics exam and help you ace it. That’ll show him, yeah?” 

You smiled back at her, grateful that she knew you well enough to know there was no stopping you once you had made up your mind. “Thanks guys. It really does mean a lot to me. I know you probably think this rivalry with Hyunjin is stupid and it is. But we’re so far in, I can’t just… stop.” 

Yuna placed a comforting hand on your shoulder while Yeji nodded in understanding. Ryujin offered you a knowing smile and Lia squeezed your hand from across the table while Chaeryoung grinned playfully. You were grateful for your friends, grateful that they were so supportive of you, even when you were acting petty or doing something stupid. 

A loud noise outside pulled you out of your thoughts and you turned to see what was happening. Your eyes widened when you saw Spider-Man out in the street, in the middle of fighting a villain you’d never seen before. Your friends were quick to react, pulling on your arms and trying to get you to move so you could all go somewhere safer.

“Yn, let’s go,” Yeji yelled, lifting you out of your seat by your arm and pulling you towards the exit of the cafe. 

You finally snapped out of your daze and followed them, trying to avoid objects that flew through the air, colliding into buildings. Large pieces of a crumbling building crashed down around you, separating you from your friends and trapping you against the wall of a building that was still standing. You could hear Ryujin yelling for you, but you couldn’t tell what she was saying over the ringing in your ears. “Go on without me! I’ll be okay!” 

But truthfully, you were terrified. If more debris fell, you had nowhere to take cover or protect yourself. You couldn’t even be sure that Spider-Man would save you—there were bound to be other people who needed help on the streets and what if he couldn’t see you and, thus, didn’t know you needed to be saved?

You looked up over your head when you heard a loud rumbling, a sound you knew meant more of the building was crashing down. You crouched down, your hands clamped tightly over your head. Realistically, you knew this wouldn’t do anything to deter the falling debris, but it made you feel a little less scared. You waited for the weight you would undoubtedly feel when concrete slammed down onto you, but it never came. You peeked up nervously, shocked to see the debris caught in a web mere inches over your head. 

An arm clad in red and blue reached down, wrapping around you and pulling you out of the rubble you were trapped in. You clung to the hero as he swung you up above the stable buildings and left you on a random rooftop, making sure your legs were steady before he let go of you. “That was a close one, yeah? Good thing I made it just in time. Are you okay?” 

You wanted to say so many things—thank him, tell him how much you adored him—but words eluded you as you stared at him, wide-eyed and shocked. So all you could muster was a slow, shaky nod of your head. You could see the way he relaxed at that and your eyes were glued to his shoulders which he rolled back as if to release pent-up pressure. 

“Good. I should go.” He grinned at you as he saluted playfully. You couldn’t see the smile, but you could hear it in his voice. You smiled back a little as he ran to the edge of the building, “That thug isn’t going to stop himself. I think he might have some self control issues.” 

You couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped you as Spider-Man leapt off the roof—the joke wasn’t even funny, you were just grateful to be alive. You watched him swinging back to the villain who was still wreaking havoc in the city’s center. You stood, shocked, for a moment longer before you pulled your phone out of your pocket (it was, thankfully, completely intact) to call your friends. 

“Yn, where are you? Are you okay?” Yeji’s worried voice spoke before you even had a chance to tell her you were okay. You could hear the commotion of the other four girls talking over one another in the background, trying to figure out if you were alright. 

“I’m fine!” There was a brief moment of quiet, allowing you to finally speak. “I’m okay. Spider-Man saved me. I… I’m not sure where I’m at, but I’m on a random roof. I’m going to get down using the fire escape and then I’ll let you know where I’m at once I can find a street sign.” 

The five girls all started talking at once again and you couldn’t help but smile. Despite your near death experience, you weren’t scared or shaky. You were just relieved. Relieved to be alive and be able to talk to your friends again. You stayed on the phone with them as you climbed down the many, many flights of rickety fire escape stairs. When you made it to the ground, you found a street sign and told them where you were. Luckily, they weren’t too far off and you met them halfway. 

“Oh, thank God, you’re safe,” Yuna breathed as she hugged you tightly. 

Lia was next, wrapping you in a hug that was even tighter than Yuna’s. “We were so worried. I’m so glad you’re okay.” 

Each of the girls took turns hugging you and murmuring words of relief and happiness that you were safe. Until Ryujin. She hugged you briefly and then pulled away smirking like she’d just won the lottery. “So, tell us about Spider-Man.” 

Hyunjin slipped through the bedroom window of his tiny apartment, stumbling into his desk before eventually collapsing on his bed. He breathed out deeply, trying to ignore the pain in his entire body. His ribs ached and he thought that they may be broken. If not for his enhanced healing factor, he would be concerned, but this wasn’t his first rodeo and he was no stranger to cracked ribs and body aches. 

“Hyunjin? Is that you?” Jisung’s voice rang throughout Hyunjin’s small studio apartment and he shot up quickly, wincing at the sting. Shit. He’d forgotten that Jisung was coming over after class. “I made it here just before that monster started rampaging in the city center but I wasn’t sure when you’d be ba—” 

Hyunjin was standing in the middle of his bedroom, a panicked look on his face and the top half of his Spider-Man suit hanging around his waist. Shit shit shit. Jisung’s eyes traveled from his bruised torso to the Spider-Man suit that was still clinging to his legs and then back to his face. 

“What the fuck!” 

“Jisung, be quiet,” Hyunjin hissed, quick to slap a hand over his best friend’s gaping mouth, “I have neighbors.” 

When Hyunjin took his hand away, Jisung spluttered, eyes wide as he tried to wrap his mind around this new information. “B-but you’re Spid—” 

“Jisung, shut the fuck up—” Hyunjin winced as he interrupted Jisung. Raising his voice took more air and more air meant bigger breaths and bigger breaths felt like a thousand shards of glass in his lungs as they pressed against his ribcage. 

Jisung blinked, quickly pulling himself out of his stupor as he noticed the pain his friend was in. “You’re hurt.”

“I’ll be fine.” He shook his head, waving off Jisung’s concern as he struggled out of the rest of his suit and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt instead. He laid on his bed once more, closing his eyes as he sighed. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.” 

“Right… Well, uh, I brought that book on quantum physics you asked me to grab from my dad’s personal library. But if you’re not up for it anymore, I can go.”

Hyunjin didn’t open his eyes as he spoke, “No it’s okay. I’ll be fine in a couple hours. You can stay until then. Put on a movie or something. I just need a nap.” 

“Oh, yeah for sure.” Jisung was quiet for a few minutes and Hyunjin assumed he was finding something to entertain himself. But Jisung couldn’t sit still for longer than five minutes, he just had to know— “So, can I be your ‘guy in the chair’?” 

“Sure, as long as you don’t tell anyone.” Hyunjin breathed slowly, halfway asleep already. “Cool… cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.” 

When Hyunjin woke up from his nap, Jisung was closely inspecting the Spider-Man suit under the lamp on Hyunjin’s desk. Hyunjin sat up, groggy and a little sore, but not in nearly as much pain as he had been before he’d slept. “Ji, what are you doing?” 

“Did you make this yourself?” Jisung spun around, face lit up with excitement like a kid on Christmas. “The thread work is insane. And what material did you use? It can’t be regular cloth. Right?”  

Hyunjin shrugged. While a part of him was worried that Jisung knew (not only was Jisung known for his inability to keep a secret, but he was at risk if villains ever found out Hyunjin’s identity), he was also excited he could finally talk about this with someone. “Well, it’s mostly Spandex, but there’s layered fabric woven in. I do most of the needlework by hand which takes awhile, but I make do.” 

“Do you have back ups? What happens if it gets torn during a fight or something?”

“I have one extra, but if they get torn I just patch them up and re-sew them unless they’re ruined beyond repair,” Hyunjin shrugged again, standing up and stretching his sore muscles. 

Jisung watched in awe. “Dude, you were like, struggling to breathe and could hardly stand not even two hours ago. Now you’re fine? Wait, wait, wait. Tell me about all the powers you have.” 

“I’m still a little sore, but my ribs are probably healed by now thanks to my enhanced healing factor. It’s a lot slower than some heroes you’ve probably heard of, but it gets the job done. Other than that, I obviously have that wall-crawling thing, enhanced strength, speed, agility—you know, the works—and my spider-sense.” 

“So when you say enhanced strength… that’s like, how strong a spider would be if it was human sized?” 

“Uh… yeah, I guess.” 

Jisung leaned back in the desk chair and stared at the ceiling, “I am so glad spiders are tiny. I wouldn’t want to get in a fight with a human-sized spider.” 

Hyunjin just shook his head and laughed before he sat down on the floor next to him. Jisung didn’t look at him, still lost in his thoughts. After a long moment of silence, Hyunjin cleared his throat, looking up at his friend, “So, do you have that book?” 

“Oh, right!” Jisung jumped out of his seat and walked over to his backpack, rummaging through it until he pulled out a thick, hardcover book. Quantum Physics. The forbidden fruit. It would give him the edge he needed to ensure that he did better than you on the next physics exam. The lessons you were doing weren’t even about quantum physics, but if he could understand that he was sure to understand everything else. “What do you need this for anyways? We’re not even doing quantum physics in class.” 

“It’ll help me do better than yn. It was close on this past exam, I can’t afford to slip behind.” 

Jisung was quiet for a second, blinking in disbelief, “You do realize it’s not that deep right? Like… it won’t be the end of the world if she does better than you on one test.” 

Hyunjin groaned, laying on the floor and opening the book, beginning to read the contents carefully. “You don’t get it. It’s… more than that, somehow. I feel like I have to prove myself around her. Like, I have to be better.” 

“You sound so stupid.” 

“Whatever,” Hyunjin grumbled, flipping through the pages of the book in front of him and ignoring the questioning look Jisung shot at him. 

The two boys didn’t talk much the rest of the evening. Jisung spent his time inspecting Hyunjin’s suit further, his web shooters, and his equipment. Hyunjin spent his time reading up on quantum physics and making mental notes of things to look into further at the university library the next day. The silence didn’t bother either of them; they’d been friends long enough that it didn’t matter whether they talked for hours or sat in silence. 

“Hey, Jin,” Jisung spoke after a couple hours of entertaining himself. Hyunjin looked up at him before he went back to reading his book, but the split second glance was all Jisung needed to know that Hyunjin was, in fact, listening to him. “Did you make your own web shooters too? And the equipment?” 

“Well, the equipment is a mix of things I’ve bought from… well, I don’t want to call it the black market but—”

“You bought shit off the black market?! Aren’t you supposed to be, like, a hero?” 

Hyunjin clicked his tongue in annoyance, “Oh, shut up. It wasn’t the black market per se. Anyways, the equipment is a mix of that and things that I’ve assembled myself. And I did make the web shooters, although that took a shit ton of time. And so much experimenting. I exploded artificial webbing over my bedroom so many times trying to figure that shit out. Every single time, my mom would come up and knock on the door too and I’d be frantically trying to clean up the mess. But, to this day she still has no idea. And I want to keep it that way.” 

Jisung nodded as if to agree, but confusion was still evident on his face. “Why can’t you tell anyone?”

“Anyone who knows is at a higher risk of getting hurt by any of the villains or thugs I have to deal with. And if not that, you could be traced back to me and not only would my identity be revealed but even more people could get hurt. Which is why I didn’t tell you. Don’t get me wrong, it’s kind of nice that you know now,” Hyunjin smiled at his friend to reassure him, but Jisung didn’t smile back. “It’s less weight on my shoulders. But if anything were to happen to you because of me. I’d never forgive myself.” 

“I guess I… never really thought of that. You’ve had to carry all of this on your own for so long… You have me now, though. And I promise I won’t tell anyone.” Jisung finally looked Hyunjin in the eyes and returned the reassuring smile Hyunjin had offered him. Hyunjin breathed out in relief. 

“You’re not great at keeping secrets—”

“I can keep this one! If I tell, you won’t let me be your ‘guy in the chair’ anymore, so I have an incentive to keep my mouth shut!” 

Hyunjin couldn’t help but laugh at that. The inner workings of Jisung’s brain always had been and always would be a mystery to him, but if being his ‘guy in the chair’ kept Jisung from spilling his biggest secret, he’d let him. It felt nice to have someone to talk to about Spider-Man. It felt nice to not carry the weight alone anymore. Hyunjin was glad that it was Jisung. 

“Guys, come on, nothing really happened, you don’t have to stay the night!” You tried to reason with your friends as they all came into your apartment, overnight bags in tow. After you’d all safely escaped the danger zone, your friends had insisted they grab their things to stay the night with you and Yeji. 

“Yeah, we know that,” Chaeryoung waved you off, setting her things down in your room, “but we want to stay the night.” 

“It’s not a bother, yn, really. It’ll be fun! We haven’t had a sleepover in so long!” Lia pouted, putting her bag down as well. 

You watched as Ryujin and Yuna pulled their skincare products out of their bags and their headbands as well so they could do their nightly routines. They’d always been so meticulous about it, it made you laugh a little. Yeji walked into your room with a tray full of snacks, already dressed in her pajamas. 

“So,” she set the tray on your bed, “tell us everything.” 

You told them everything that had happened from the time you’d been separated from them until you’d been reunited. They were the perfect listeners, watching you with wide eyes as you told them the story, gasping at just the right time and letting out squeals of excitement when Spider-Man entered the story. 

“And now, we’re here and I’m fine.” 

“Is he just as dreamy in real life as he is in the videos?” Lia asked, hearts practically forming in her eyes as she spoke.

“He was…” you paused, trying to find the right words to say. “He was funny, but maybe I only thought that because I was relieved that I was alive. And his voice… is it odd to say that he had an attractive voice? And when he was holding onto me… his arms were so strong.” 

The girls blinked at you, silent for a moment, until Ryujin broke the silence. “Soooo… he was even dreamier in real life?” 

You laughed and nodded, which set the girls into a cacophonous conversation, voices all overlapping. It was chaos, but you didn’t mind. You were still running on adrenaline—the high of being alive. And you were grateful to have friends who cared so much about you. You felt like nothing could ruin your mood ever again. You were just so happy. 

But, as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. Your “high on life” spirit was crushed the second you walked into your physics classroom the next day and saw Hyunjin sitting hunched over his desk, scribbling in a notebook like a madman. You scoffed and hurried past him, taking your seat behind him and pulling your own notebook out. 

“Good morning sunshine.” 

You looked up, scowling at the smirking man in front of you. You didn’t answer him, looking back down at your notebook and labeling the page you were on with the date and the lesson you were supposedly working on. 

“You know, it’s rude to ignore people when they’re talking to you,” Hyunjin all but growled at you. The change in his demeanor made you snap your head up to look at him. There was none of the usual playful mirth in his eyes; they were darker, more mysterious. You ignored the miniscule shiver that made its way down your spine as he fixed his eyes on you. 

“Exactly,” you countered, finally finding your voice, “It’s rude to ignore people. You’re not a person, you’re just an asshole.” 

He didn’t retaliate like he normally would, just scoffed and turned around in his seat going back to writing in his notebook furiously. You peeked around his shoulder a bit, trying to see what book he was so avidly taking notes from. When you saw the title, your face blanched and your heart dropped to your stomach. Quantum Physics? There was no way you could beat his scores if he was proficient in quantum material. 

You scoffed, “Studying up on quantum physics? Finally realize you have to put in extra work to be smarter than me?” 

“Trust me, I don’t have to put in extra work for it. Your last test grade is proof of that.” 

You felt like you could cry. It wasn’t even that deep, it was just true, but all of the pent up emotions you’d had towards Hyunjin were pushing against the dam, ready to break through. You stood quickly and gathered your things, rubbing at your eyes and forcing the tears away. Hyunjin watched as you hurried out of the room, suddenly feeling bad. Were you crying because of him? 

He did feel bad he’d made you cry, but he was also being selfish and only thinking of himself. He’d woken up on the wrong side of the bed. He was still sore from the day before, he’d been horny as fuck all day but hadn’t had any time to get off, Jisung had been extra talkative and he had to keep reminding him not to talk about Spider-Man when they were around people, and all the quantum physics readings he’d been doing were turning his brain to mush. He needed to let off some steam but he wouldn’t even have time after class because he’d promised himself he’d patrol the streets for a couple hours before going home. 

He dropped his head on the desk, feeling like more of an asshole than usual. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Jisung standing over him, looking at him sympathetically. “You’ve been really snappy today. Maybe you should take a breather. It won’t kill you to skip one class.” 

“I can’t,” Hyunjin shook his head. The thought of skipping a class and missing something important gave him anxiety, “I just can’t.” 

“I know you feel like you can’t, but trust me, just this once, you can. You should. Go to the gym, take a nap, hell, go jack off somewhere but for the love of God, get out of here.” 

Hyunjin swallowed thickly. The thought of getting himself off was too tempting right now. He’d been feeling hot and bothered all day and just thinking about touching himself made his dick twitch. So he nodded and stood, gathering his things, hardly registering Jisung’s voice reassuring him that he’d cover for him. 

As Hyunjin was leaving the building, he passed the library and paused. He looked at the doors of the library, contemplating whether or not he should go inside. He eventually decided that he would grab the reading material he needed and leave after that. If he didn’t get it now, he’d have to come back another time and he didn’t have class in the science building for the rest of the week. 

He made a beeline for the physics section of the library, searching through various books on quantum physics for the ones he wanted—the ones that would delve deeper into the theories he was most interested in and thought to be most helpful. He had a book in his hand that he was interested in but when he turned to look at the other shelf he ran into a person who was turning to look at the shelf he was on. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention—” 

He looked down where you were busy collecting your books from the floor and his jaw dropped and then clenched as his gaze hardened. You looked up at him at the same time and when you realized who it was you glared at him. 

“God, it’s like you’re trying to make my life absolutely miserable,” you hissed as you stood, stack of books in your arms and your book bag hanging on your shoulder. “Stay away from me!” 

“You make it sound like I was following you. I see you enough in class, there’s no way in hell I’d try to find you outside of it. You stay away from me.”

Neither of you said anything for a long moment, you just glared at each other in the middle of the physics aisle of the library, several books about quantum physics in your hands. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. You were suddenly very aware of how heavily he was breathing and the way your own chest rose and fell quickly. 

Your mind drifted between anger and arousal as you stared at him. You’d never really taken the time to look at him before. Never noticed how attractive he was. Sure, you’d known he was pretty, but standing inches away from you, eyes dark with anger, jaw clenched and dyed blonde hair tousled from running his fingers through it, you couldn’t ignore that he was hot as fuck. But you’d never let him win. Not without a fight at the very least. 

“Get out of my way.” His voice was low as he spoke, words spoken almost carefully, yet laced with venom. 

“No.”

His eyes narrowed and he scoffed. “Move.” 

“Make me.”

There was something new in his eyes now, something different than anger. He grabbed your wrist, dragging you out of the aisle behind him. He checked out his book and waited for you to get yours sorted out and then he continued to drag you out of the library. You didn’t know where he was taking you, and you knew you should be struggling or asking him to leave you alone. But you were curious to see what he was going to do and he just looked so hot—you felt dazed. 

“Where are we going?” 

“You want to act like a brat? Then I’m going to treat you like one.” His gaze softened ever so slightly as he looked back at you. “I-I mean, if you want to come with me. Fuck, what am I doing.” He let go of your wrist and took a stumbling step back, worry taking over his features. 

You reached back out for him. “I want to come. A-are we going to your place?” 

“Yeah,” his voice was soft now and he looked down where you were holding his hand. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be so angry—”

“I thought it was hot,” you shrugged, smirking at him. He looked away, but you could still see the blush that had formed across his cheeks.

You didn’t say anything else the rest of the walk and he didn’t either. He didn’t let go of your hand, but you didn’t protest. You liked the feeling of his hand in yours. He looked calmer now, but you could still see traces of the anger in his eyes. 

The walk to his apartment was relatively short, but that was mostly thanks to the fact that he had long legs and had been walking quickly, leaving you to jog slightly to keep up with him. When you got to his apartment, you barely had time to look around before he was telling you to set your stuff down and follow him. 

You stepped out of your shoes, draped your coat over the back of the couch, and left your bag and library books on the kitchen counter. He had already disappeared to another part of the small apartment, but it wasn’t hard to find him—after all, it was only a one bedroom apartment. You took a deep breath before you walked into his room. The deep breath, in hindsight, was a great idea because the second you crossed the threshold you were pushed against the wall, pinned there by Hyunjin whose eyes were now as dark and heavy as before. 

“You make me so infuriated.” Hyunjin’s breath was hot against your neck as he leaned in, forehead resting against your shoulder as he spoke. “I really can’t stand you.” 

You were having a hard time focusing with him this close to you. You felt like you couldn’t breathe. “I can’t stand you.”

He scoffed and pressed a brief kiss to your neck and you stiffened, not wanting him to notice the shiver that snaked down your spine at the contact. 

“Really? ‘S that why you’re always picking fights?” 

“You’re the one who always starts fights, dipshit. I’m just trying to defend myself.” You breathed in sharply when he nipped at your neck, sucking a dark mark into your skin. 

“Mmm,” he pressed kisses to your jaw, laughing darkly as he spoke again. “You love the attention, though. Otherwise you’d just ignore me. You like that I spend my time paying attention to you and no one else.”

You shook your head, biting your lip to try and suppress the moan that made its way up your throat. “N-no.” 

“No? Hm, then I guess you won’t mind if I send you home now.” 

“W-wait.” You cursed yourself inside your head. You should’ve left. What were you doing? “I… Maybe I do like it… a little bit.” 

What were you saying? You felt like your mouth was speaking faster than your brain could process what you were even saying. Your body was speaking for you and you knew you were acting irrationally. But somehow… you didn’t care. 

“Of course you do. You’ve always been a little obsessed with me, haven’t you?” 

Hyunjin’s hand slid from where it was resting on the wall behind you, moving to hold your hip and then up under your shirt to hold your waist. You shuddered at the feeling of his cold fingers against your bare skin, his blunt nails dragging up your side gave you goosebumps. 

“I—” You whined, unable to think straight and cursing yourself for allowing him to seduce you. “N-no. Not obsessed.” 

“Oh, come on now. You can be honest with me. Stop fucking denying everything,” The teasing tone of his voice made your legs shake. You’d always hated that stupid smirk and his stupid teasing, but in this context it just made you unreasonably wet. 

“I-I just… I can’t back down from a fight.” 

Hyunjin scoffed but didn’t push you anymore. Though he wanted to tease you more, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could wait. “I can’t wait anymore. But I need to be sure that you’re okay with this.”

“You, the biggest dick I’ve ever met, are asking for my consent?” As soon as the words left your mouth, you wished you could take them back. It was basic human decency and though you thought Hyunjin was an arrogant asshole you didn’t really think he was below human decency. You hadn’t meant to accuse him of being someone so terrible.

“Well, I mean, yeah.” Hurt flashed briefly across his face and you felt a twinge of guilt in the pit of your stomach. But it was quickly replaced by the dark, lustful gaze he’d sported up until that point. “Though, I really do hope you say yes.” 

And of course, with how riled up you were at this point, how could you say no to him? So you nodded quickly, moving to pull your shirt over your head, only for him to stop you. You looked at him confused, brows furrowed as you tried to figure out what was going through his mind. 

“I need to hear you say it, pretty.” 

“I…” It took a lot to swallow your pride, especially since you’d tried so hard for so long to come across as an enemy of Hyunjin’s. “I want this, want you. I need you.” 

That was all it took for him to take the hem of your shirt from your hands and tug it over your head, pulling his own off immediately after. His hands were all over you, your hips, your waist, your boobs, as he kissed you fervently, tongue intertwined with yours. He grabbed your throat, pulling away from you. His grip wasn’t tight enough to block off any of your air, but just having his hand wrapped around your throat made you whimper. 

“I want to take my time with you, but I don’t think I can,” Hyunjin groaned against your lips, breath heavy as he pulled away for air. 

“Then don’t,” you gasped, pulling him closer to you, “You don’t have to go slow.” 

He shook his head then, looking you in the eyes with an expression more vulnerable than you’d ever seen him. “But we’ll go back to hating each other after this. So I don’t want to rush it. I want to enjoy you for a little bit before we’re fighting tooth and nail again.” 

Your heart pounded uncomfortably against your ribcage, but you pushed the feeling away. You didn’t answer him, only pulled his lips to yours once more. You didn’t want to think about your rivalry. You had, admittedly, been feeling restless lately, all pent up. Though it was with someone you considered your rival, you were more than a little desperate for relief. 

Hyunjin guided you away from the wall and to his bed where he laid you down surprisingly gently. You watched as he tugged his pants and underwear down his legs, eyes fixed on his hardened dick. He was bigger than you would have thought. Not that you’d ever thought about how big his dick was. At least, not consciously. 

You shimmied out of your own pants and looked up at him, observing the way he jerked himself off a few times, head thrown back, before leaning over you to grab a condom from his bedside table. You pouted, intending on teasing him, “You’re not even going to stretch me out first?” 

He paused, still reaching over you for the condom. He looked a little embarrassed as he sat back on his heels in front of you, condom waiting on the bedside table while you watched him. He laid in between your legs, prying them apart a little so that he could fit comfortably. 

“Sorry,” he murmured, eyes fixed on your dripping cunt. “It’s been awhile since I… I guess I just got a little ahead of myself. Do you just want me to stretch you with my fingers or do you want my mouth too?” 

“Both.” 

He swallowed thickly, but didn’t protest. He leaned in, teasing your entrance with the tip of his tongue before wrapping his lips around your clit, fingers coming to circle your clenching hole. You couldn’t help the moan that squeezed its way out of your throat. Of course he was good at this. You might feel angry about it afterwards—feel ruined for anyone else—but for now you were too lost in how good it felt. 

He pushed two fingers inside of you, scissoring them open to stretch you, little by little. He moaned when he felt how tight you were and you groaned back when you felt it against your clit. When he felt you were ready, he added another finger. You felt so full and yet not full enough. 

You pushed his face away when you felt close to cumming and he looked up at you with wide, concerned eyes. The kind of eyes you couldn’t look at for too long unless you wanted to fall for him. Which you certainly did not want. 

“Are you okay?” 

You nodded and pulled him up to you, kissing him and tasting yourself on his lips. “Mmm, yeah. I just want you inside now.” 

His stupid smirk was back. You didn’t have to tell him twice. He reached for the condom again and ripped it open using his teeth. Your whole body shivered in anticipation. He held himself over you and you took a moment to observe his body. You realized he was more muscular than you’d thought he was. His clothes hid the muscles that you could now see—they hid the abs that tightened and flexed as he rolled the condom onto his cock, hid the muscles of his biceps and forearms that were so visible as he held himself up over you. 

“It might sting a little, but I’ll go slow.” 

His voice pulled you out of your thoughts and you looked away from his body to watch his face as he positioned his dick at your entrance. He wasn’t looking back at you, though, his eyes were focused on watching his dick slide into you. He groaned as he pushed in, inch by inch. 

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, wanting to ground yourself. It didn’t sting, but the fullness was a feeling like no other. It was overwhelming and everything you’d ever needed all at once. You hated how perfect he felt. Of course he was great at this too. He was just good at everything. And you hated it. 

“M-move,” you gasped after only a moment. He’d bottomed out not even a second before and you were already asking for more. 

“Such a naughty girl, aren’t you? Already asking for more. I’ll give it to you, but only because I need this just as much as you do.”

He pounded into you, finding his rhythm quickly. He watched you closely paying attention to what made you moan louder. He adjusted his position and angle every so often, searching for something that would make you feel as good as he did. He may have been your rival, but he wasn’t cruel. Sex was supposed to feel good for both parties involved. 

“How’s that? Bet you wish you’d been nicer to me now, hm?” He continued to speak, but you could hardly focus on the words coming out of his mouth, too lost in how good he was making you feel. “Maybe if you’d been nice to me we could’ve been doing this regularly instead of bickering over fucking homework.” 

The tip of his dick nudged your sweet spot and you cried out, clinging to his back and whining his name. It stroked his ego and made his smirk widen but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. “Pl-please I’m so, so close. Please, don’t stop.” 

“Fuck, I won’t. I can’t. Cunt’s too perfect. You feel so good. You’d be perfect if you didn’t have such a fucking attitude.” 

“W-well if you weren’t such an arrogant assh—” You couldn’t finish your thought as he slammed into that perfect spot again and again, chasing his own high and hoping to push you over the edge too. 

“Shut the fuck up,” he growled, never slowing down, even as he reached between your bodies to rub at your clit, just perfectly. His stamina was impressive, unlike anyone else you’d ever been with. “I like you better when you don’t say anything other than my name. Say it again for me.” 

You couldn’t resist. You knew it turned him on and it also benefited you. “Hyunjin. God, it feels so good. You feel so good.”

He didn’t speak, he couldn’t, and honestly, neither could you. His stamina surprised you—how was he even able to maintain the pace he’d set for himself? Other guys could never. Not only that, he seemed to be holding himself back from his own climax, like he was waiting for you. And the other guys you’d been with certainly were incapable of that. 

“F-fuck, Hyunjin, I’m cumming,” you finally gasped out, wrapping yourself around him tightly in an attempt to have him as deep inside of you as you could. 

“That’s it,” he murmured lowly, fucking you through your high, “Cum for me. Be a good girl for once in your fucking life and cum.” 

While you came down, you felt him fill the condom inside of you, hips stilling. He lowered himself slowly, avoiding crushing you beneath his weight. You were trying to catch your breath, staring at the ceiling. Beside you, Hyunjin didn’t even sound like he was out of breath at all. 

“How are you not exhausted?” you finally asked, looking over at him to find him already looking at you. 

He shrugged, signature smirk plastered on his lips once again. “I could go all day, babe.” 

You groaned and pushed him off of you, stumbling to your feet. He frowned as he watched you get up. He was quick to stand too, grabbing your hand silently and leading you to the bathroom. While you used the toilet, he grabbed a washcloth and soaked it in warm water. 

“At least let me help clean you up before you go. You don’t want to be all sticky and gross,” he mumbled, wiping the last traces of arousal from your body before tossing the washcloth in the hamper and helping you back to his room so you could put your clothes back on. 

You were already starting to feel sore and you were sure you’d feel it for the rest of the week at least. Fuck him for leaving such an impact on your body. You were right before. He’d definitely ruined you for anyone else. 

“You did what?” Yeji’s jaw was almost on the ground when you told her about your afternoon with Hyunjin. You were sitting at the kitchen counter with your head in your hands, guilt starting to kick in. But you weren’t sure if you were guilty that you had sex with your enemy or guilty that you enjoyed it. 

“I know,” you groaned looking at her. “It was stupid, but I… We both just… needed to let off some steam I guess. It just happened. Fuck, I hate him.” 

“Clearly not as much as you thought you did.” 

Her words made you pause. Because she was right. Clearly, you didn’t hate him as much as you’d thought you did if you were willing to have sex with him. But there was no way in hell you would admit it that easily. “He’s the biggest fucking asshole known to mankind, so why the hell would I ever let his stupid face and stupid smile and stupid laugh and stupid everything consume my brain? It was a one time thing, I swear.” 

Yeji just nodded. “I know, I know. He’s a dick. But you had sex with him. So you can’t deny there’s some sort of attraction.” 

“What am I going to say to the other girls?” You laid your head down on the counter, suddenly feeling stressed. Why did you even care what they thought? It didn’t matter if you were attracted to Hyunjin or not, he was still an ass and nothing he could say or do would change that. 

“You don’t have to explain yourself to them if you don’t feel like it.” 

You’d always appreciated that about Yeji—that she never made you feel like you had to share the parts of yourself you were uncomfortable sharing. She was kind and understanding and would never force you to tell people anything you didn’t want them to know. And she’d never share your secrets either. 

“Anyways,” she turned towards the stove, turning it on so that the pot of water she’d set there previously could come to a boil. “I’m making ramyeon. Do you want some?” 

“Sure.” You watched as Yeji made food and neither of you spoke about Hyunjin again for the rest of the evening. 

“Dude, you what?” Hyunjin cringed as Jisung all but yelled in his ear, looking away in embarrassment at his friend’s confrontation. “I mean, I know I told you to go let off some steam, but I didn’t expect it to be with her.” 

“I-it was an accident. She was being infuriating a-and I’ve been feeling so pent up lately and one thing led to another and—”

“Okay, you can stop there. I don’t want to hear the details of your sex escapade with your so-called enemy.” Jisung held up his hand before taking a large bite of the food in front of him. Hyunjin had invited him over again for the evening so that he could talk to him, maybe get some advice. That was his first mistake, honestly. Jisung wasn’t the best at advice, even if his heart was in the right place. 

“Right. Sorry.” 

“Wait, so, let me ask you one thing. Do you hate yn, or not? Because I can’t see how you’d have sex with someone you genuinely despised.” 

“I do. I-I mean, I thought I did. I don’t know? I-I’m so confused lately…” Hyunjin dropped his head into his hands, head spinning and thoughts dragging him in a million different directions. 

“Maybe you should talk to h—”

“Are you crazy?” Hyunjin looked at Jisung like he’d grown a second head. “She hates me. Even if I don’t hate her, there’s no way I can talk to her about it. She’d probably yell at me and tell me to leave her alone.”

Jisung was quiet for a moment but then he spoke with wisdom Hyunjin didn’t know he even had. “I think she’d be more upset if you ignored her afterwards. She doesn’t strike me as the kind of person who would be okay with being ignored after being so intimate with someone.” 

“I…” 

Hyunjin knew that Jisung was right, but he wasn’t sure if he could face you. How was he supposed to explain himself? Explain what happened? How was he supposed to explain that what was once so clear to him was now blurred and grey? And how was he supposed to accept it if you yelled at him and reminded him of the hatred you held in your heart for him?

“I don’t think I can.” 

Jisung shrugged and sighed. Hyunjin knew he was disappointed. “Suit yourself. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” 

You jumped when you heard a small tapping noise against your bedroom window. You’d been studying at your desk, trying to wrap your mind around the quantum physics textbooks you’d borrowed from the library. You looked over at the window, expecting nothing to be there—after all, it was late, maybe you’d just imagined it. But to your surprise, there on the fire escape was Spider-Man. 

You were quick to stand, opening up the window, worried he may be hurt or need help. When you’d forced the window up enough for him to crawl in, you moved back, allowing him to enter your bedroom. You locked your bedroom door in case Yeji tried to come in, for some reason. “What are you doing here?” 

“I was patrolling and I wanted to check in on you. I… uh, I saw you through the window.” He rubbed at the back of his neck, sheepishly. “N-not that I was, you know, watching you. I just… looked over and you were there. I wanted to make sure you were… okay.” 

You smiled as he continued rambling, finding it cute how nervous he was in front of you. A literal superhero? Nervous around you? It was like a dream. “I’m okay.” 

“Cool…” He was quiet for a long moment before he turned back toward the window. “W-well since that’s all I came here for—” 

“Wait! Y-you don’t have to leave yet… if you don’t want to.” 

You surprised yourself. For the second time in one day, words were tumbling out of your mouth faster than your brain could process what you were saying. He seemed surprised that you were offering to let him stay, but his body, once rigid with anxiety, relaxed as he moved toward you. 

Before you really knew what was happening, you were both sitting on the floor as he explained quantum physics to you, making the occasional joke and teasing you when you struggled with concepts. Everything about talking to him was comfortable and somehow… familiar. You couldn’t put your finger on it. 

After over an hour of working on physics, the two of you were sitting in silence. He was looking around at your room, observing what you had tacked to your walls, what books were on your bookshelf, the pictures you had on your desk. You watched him quietly. “Is it… lonely being a superhero? I mean. You can’t really… tell people about it. Is it hard to have to keep such a big part of your life to yourself?” 

“It… was. But I’ve learned to handle it on my own. I’m used to it. Besides, it’s not like I don’t have friends when I’m not Spider-Man.” 

“Right.” You felt suddenly embarrassed—you hadn’t meant to offend him. 

“It’s okay. Spider-Man does take up a lot of time so, even though I have friends, I don’t really see them that often. Honestly, I wonder sometimes if they even consider me a friend anymore.” His words made you sad, but as you were about to say something, he stood walking towards the window. “I should… probably go. It’s late and you should rest.” 

“Yeah. Um, you’re always welcome to… stop by whenever you want. I could use the company. And the help with physics.” 

You could picture a smile stretched across his lips. You could hear it when he spoke. “If I’ve ever got an opening in my calendar, I’ll be sure to drop by.” 

You smiled too and watched as he climbed back out the window, swinging into the night. Even when you couldn’t see him anymore, you stared into the dark night, running through the events of the evening in your head. You closed your window and unlocked your door, peeking out to see if Yeji was still up (she wasn’t). When you finally laid down in your bed, you fell asleep easily, thoughts of the red and blue clad hero running through your mind.

When you woke the next morning you were still feeling giddy over your night spent with Spider-Man. You had a skip in your step as you entered your classroom. Not even Hyunjin could ruin your mood today. You sat down at your seat behind him and prepared your things for class. You briefly noticed the small smile that tugged at the corners of his lips. It seemed he was in a good mood too. 

For a moment, memories of the day before flashed in your mind and you shivered, squeezing your legs together and willing the thoughts to go away. He was quiet for several minutes before he turned around to look at you. For the first time, his eyes held sincerity rather than the usual mischievous glint they usually did. 

“Uh, yn, about yesterday—”

“Let’s just forget about it,” you cut him off, already feeling heat rising to your cheeks as he spoke. “That’s what you were going to say, right?” 

Confusion and defeat flashed in his eyes, but he dismissed it and you pretended you hadn’t noticed it. He swallowed thickly and nodded, offering you a half smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes the way his earlier smile had. “R-right. Forget it.” 

He turned around in his seat again and didn’t bother you the rest of the class period. For a moment, his lack of enthusiasm and the fact that he wasn’t bothering you concerned you. Was something seriously wrong? Maybe you were just overanalyzing it. You should be grateful he was letting you have some peace. Still, it didn’t feel quite right.

“Alright, I’ll be putting you in groups of two or three for our upcoming end of semester project. These groups were randomly generated and are non-negotiable.” Your professor’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts. You listened carefully, hoping with everything in you that you didn’t get put in a group with Hyunjin. Unfortunately, it would seem luck was not on your side. “Hyunjin, you’ll be paired up with yn.” 

You knew that your professor was well aware of your rivalry, having had to break up your quarrels in the past, so it surprised you that when you’d been randomly put into a group they had allowed it. You desperately wanted to protest and ask for a different partner, but considering your professor had already mentioned that the groups were non-negotiable, you kept your mouth shut, silently stewing over it.

When class ended, you didn’t pack up as quickly as you normally would, lingering just a little to see if Hyunjin would say anything before you left. You weren’t sure if you wanted him to mention the group project or the night before. But he didn’t mention either, instead opting to ignore you entirely, so you left, hiding outside the door to wait for him to leave. Maybe he’d talk to Jisung about what was wrong. For a moment, you questioned yourself. What were you doing? Why did you want to know what was wrong so badly? He’d only ever been annoying and rude to you, so why did you care if he was sad or not?  

You convinced yourself that you didn’t care, you just wanted something to hold over his head. You heard Jisung’s voice by the doorway, but it seemed as if they’d paused there for a moment, not crossing the threshold of the door. “So she said you should just forget it?” 

“I told you she would,” Hyunjin’s voice responded, sounding snappier than earlier. He sighed and you could imagine him running a hand over his face. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you, I’m just… on edge, I guess. It’s been a long week.”

“Is it because of the Sp—”

“For fuck’s sake Jisung, you have got to stop bringing that up when we’re in public,” Hyunjin sighed, cutting his friend’s words short. 

“Right, right… But, is it?” 

You could picture Hyunjin nodding in response and you couldn’t help but wonder what it was. “Yeah, it is. But stop talking about that in public, or I swear to God, I will revoke all your privileges.” 

You heard them walk past and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding. You stayed behind the door a little longer to ensure that they were long gone before you revealed yourself. As you walked to your next class, you couldn’t stop thinking about what Hyunjin and Jisung had been talking about. You knew you had no right to eavesdrop, but you couldn’t change what you’d already done, and now your curiosity was killing you. What had Hyunjin so on edge? 

Hyunjin didn’t bother you for the rest of the week. Or the rest of the next. Or the rest of the week after that. He only spoke to you when you had to work on your class project together. It felt strange to you, but you didn’t question it. After all, you’d been complaining for years about how he wouldn’t leave you alone. Wasn’t this everything you’d asked for? Still though, it felt odd when he was civil with you over the project rather than teasing you and driving you to your wit’s end. 

You were seated on the floor of his bedroom, working on the project and feeling increasingly uncomfortable as he rushed to get his work done. You couldn’t help but feel like you were bothering him. Weren’t you supposed to be working on this together? Did he really hate being around you that much?

“What’s the rush? We still have a couple weeks before this is due,” you finally asked, looking over at him intently and trying to read his blank expression. 

“I just want to hurry and get this stupid project over with.” 

You scoffed, looking away again and trying not to show how much his words hurt you. “Yeah, believe me, I want to get this shit done too, but if we hurry it along too much it won’t be done well.”

“Speak for yourself,” he mumbled, typing in the slideshow you’d created for the two of you. “I can finish this in half the time and get a better score than you ever could.” 

“Fine, if you’re so perfect, you finish it!” You stood, wiping away angry tears as you gathered your things. You hated that you were crying. You were just so frustrated with him. You honestly preferred the Hyunjin that relentlessly teased you. He was better than the Hyunjin who snapped at you and stared blankly when you spoke to him. He was cruel now and you hated that.

“Wait, a-are you crying?” 

You glared at him and stormed out of his room, not bothering to answer him. Once you were out of his apartment building and walking down the street you allowed yourself to cry. You wiped at your eyes as you walked, struggling to see in front of you as you cried. 

The next day in class, Hyunjin didn’t speak to you at all except to tell you that he had, in fact, finished the entire project and all you needed to do was memorize your parts so you could present well. You just nodded, swallowing the lump that had formed in your throat. You refused to let him see you cry again. He wasn’t worth it. 

The next couple weeks passed quickly and you memorized your part of the presentation perfectly. When you and Hyunjin presented, you earned a perfect score and it was back to never speaking a word to one another. Weeks turned into months and Hyunjin continued to ignore you as you did the same to him. 

Though your mind was occasionally distracted by thinking about how Hyunjin had ignored you for almost two months now, you didn’t think about it too often, you had convinced yourself you simply didn’t care. Instead, you thought about the hero clad in red and blue who you had, recently, spent many evenings with. It wasn’t every day that he came knocking on your window, but several nights a week, he came by, offering to help you with your physics homework and keep you company. He had become someone you confided in and a shoulder you cried on when Hyunjin was being particularly insufferable.

It was one of those nights, but unfortunately, instead of devoting your attention to the hero in your bedroom, your mind was far, far away, thinking of Hyunjin who hadn’t said a single word to you in two months, hadn’t looked in your general direction, and constantly looked exhausted. Something had to be going on, but you couldn’t figure out what it was. And you didn’t even know why you cared. You weren’t friends—far from it—and yet you couldn’t help but worry. 

“What’s on your mind?” Spider-Man’s soft voice pulled you out of your thoughts. “You’re a million miles away, right now.” 

You shook your head, trying to clear the last of your thoughts about Hyunjin away so you could focus on the man in front of you. “It’s nothing. Just a classmate of mine.” 

“The one who’s always bothering you?”

“Well, yeah, but… he hasn’t talked to me in months. Hasn’t even looked at me. And if it had happened at the beginning of the semester, I probably would have been rejoicing right now, but things happened and now I’m just… worried.” You played with your fingers as you rambled. You hadn’t meant to admit just how much you’d been thinking about Hyunjin, how much you’d noticed his sudden lack of interest in you. But Spider-Man didn’t even know Hyunjin, so you felt safe telling him about it. 

“What happened?” 

“I—well, we…” Your face grew unbearably warm as you thought about what had happened between the two of you that had completely shifted your mindset when it came to him. “We, kind of, maybe had sex.”

“Oh.” Spider-Man didn’t sound judgemental or disappointed, just… surprised. It was like that had been the last thing he’d been thinking of that could have happened between you and your rival. And it probably was. After all, who had sex with someone they supposedly despised? “A-and that’s why you’re… worried about him? What, did you have, like, an STD or something?”

“No! Oh my god, no. We used a condom anyway. No, I’m worried because…” You couldn’t bring yourself to say it. I’m worried because I think I like him. The unspoken words hung in the air, and the silence thickened. He seemed to understand what you meant by your facial expression alone. 

“Damn, he was that good?” 

You choked on air, embarrassed all of a sudden that you were talking about how you had sex with Hyunjin. “I-I guess. I mean he… well I… I’m not inexperienced when it comes to… that but even if I haven’t been with a lot of guys, I’ve been with enough and I just didn’t expect it to be… like that.” 

“Like what?” His voice was soft. You weren’t sure why he was so interested in knowing your answer. But you hadn’t really opened up about your afternoon with Hyunjin all those months ago, not even to Yeji, and it felt nice to finally be talking about it. 

“Like he cared about getting me off too. A lot of the guys I’ve been with… really only cared about themselves and their own pleasure, but Hyunjin… he wanted me to finish. And he had so much stamina. He went full-out the whole time, it was like he had some sort of… super stamina or something. It was just… so good and now I’m starting to realize that maybe I—”

“Do you like him?” Spider-Man all but breathed, still sitting a few feet away from you. 

You looked up at him, eyes wide. You hadn’t felt like you could say it, but with him bringing it up, it was like the floodgates had opened. “I do. I think that… maybe I have all this time, I just convinced myself I hated him because that was easier than admitting I liked him. Liking him meant that I could get hurt. But I guess I… still got hurt in the end. He’s been even more of an asshole since it happened.”

Spider-Man was quiet and you suddenly realized what you were saying and who you were saying it to. You sat up straighter, about to apologize when he looked up at you. You wished you could see his face, wished you could read his expression. “I’m sorry he hurt you.” 

“I-It’s not your fault, I—”

“I’m still sorry.” 

The two of you sat in silence a little longer. He fiddled with a pencil that he’d taken from your desk and you stared blankly at the physics homework laid out in front of you. It was quiet enough that you could hear a pin drop, even on the carpet of your room. You weren’t sure if you should feel awkward that you’d just talked so openly about having sex with your classmate to a superhero, but Spider-Man made you feel so comfortable you couldn’t bring yourself to care. 

Thirty more minutes passed and you worked on your physics homework in silence while Spider-Man watched, silently correcting you every now and then. When you finally finished your assignment, he stood, stretching his arms above his head. 

“I should probably go. Even I need to sleep sometimes.” 

You nodded in understanding, watching him make his way to your window, “Make sure you rest soon. Don’t stay up too late after you get home.”

“I won’t stay up too late.” You wished you could see the smile that you heard in his voice. “You should sleep too. And… don’t let that prick keep you up at night.” 

“I won’t let him keep me up.” 

He gave you a quick wave before disappearing into the night. You stared out the window for a few more minutes, but then you closed it and turned off the lights, slipping into your bed and trying to fall asleep. 

Thoughts plagued you, and you found that nothing could lull you to sleep. With a sigh you sat up, pulling out your phone. You stared at the contact you’d opened. Hyunjin’s. You had his number from when you’d been forced to work with him for the class project. You didn’t know if he’d even saved yours. Why were you considering messaging him? Your thumbs were moving over your screen and before you really even registered what you were doing, you had sent Hyunjin a message. 

You set your phone down on your night stand, heart beating out of your chest. You were confused and excited and scared and worried. Hyunjin had been the biggest asshole ever only two short months ago. He had ignored you since then. You weren’t even friends. What were you doing? 

The voice in your head whispered that you liked him, even if he hated you. And if he was willing to spend one more night with you, you would take it. You couldn’t get him out of your head, you couldn’t get that day out of your head. No one had ever made you feel the way he had. And as awful of a person as he was, you knew he was the only person who could put you to sleep the way you wanted.

Your heart pounded again. Hyunjin was coming over. You sat up, realizing you still had homework all over the floor and your room was a mess. You all but jumped out of bed, racing to pick up the odds and ends that were lying around and cluttering up your room. You finished putting things away and sprayed your room with air freshener just as he knocked on the door to your apartment. 

Luckily for you, Yeji was gone, spending the night at Ryujin’s apartment. She’d figured out you had been having someone over in the evenings the past few months, though she didn’t know who, so she’d been giving you space whenever she heard someone in your room with you. That meant you had the apartment to yourself that night. And if things happened the way you had implied they might… that would definitely be a good thing. 

“Hi,” you breathed out as you opened the door. You were slightly out of breath, having run around your room like a chicken with your head cut off, but if Hyunjin noticed, he didn’t mention it. 

You stepped aside so Hyunjin could enter your apartment and he bowed slightly as he entered out of politeness. “Hey. I love your place.”

“O-Oh thanks,” you stammered, not expecting his words. It was strange. You’d been at each other’s throats months ago, and now he was being polite? “I share the place with Yeji.” 

To be honest, you weren’t really sure if he even knew who Yeji was. But the likelihood of him knowing her was high, considering he was fairly popular at your university and you only hung out with the same five people. He nodded, seeming to recognize Yeji’s name, as he looked around. He turned to face you, smiling gently. It was so different from his typical smirk that it caught you off guard. 

“Where’s your room?” 

You blinked a couple times before snapping out of your daze and leading him to your bedroom. “Right, uh, this way. The bathroom is right here, in between Yeji’s room and mine. And, this is my room. It’s not much, but… it’s more than enough for me.” 

He looked around your room like it was the first time he’d seen it and you reminded yourself that it was the first time he was seeing your room. You swallowed as he looked at your desk, fingers brushing lightly over the trinkets that decorated it before he fixed his eyes on the pictures and posters hanging on the wall above your bed. 

“It’s cute,” he turned to face you again, still smiling softly, “I like it. Very…you.” 

“Oh, uh, thanks.” 

You felt nervous watching Hyunjin wander around your room, inspecting pictures and observing the random knick-knacks you had lying around. Even though he’d already said that he liked your room, you were worried that maybe he didn’t mean it. Or maybe he would change his mind. For the nth time that evening you wondered why you even cared. You swallowed as he sat down on your bed, looking at you and smirking. “Are you just going to stand there all night?” 

“N-no.” You cursed the way your voice shook, cursed the way your legs wobbled as you walked towards your bed, sitting next to him and trying to breathe normally. 

“Why did you want to see me?” Hyunjin’s voice was soft as he leaned in closer, observing the way your breath hitched when he was close. He knew the reason, but he wanted you to say it. “Why did you want me to come over?” 

“I-I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to be alone so I—”

“You don’t have to lie to me. Tell me the truth.” 

You couldn’t help but think about how familiar his voice was. Not in a Hyunjin way, but in another way. One you couldn’t quite put your finger on. His voice was so soft, so familiar. The reason was on the tip of your tongue and yet not close enough for you to grab onto. You swallowed again and tried to force your heartbeat to slow down. 

“I just… wanted you.” 

“Wanted me?” Hyunjin leaned away again, still smirking—a look you were all too familiar with. “Wanted me, how?” 

You whimpered, turning to look at him with a pout. “Please, don’t make me say it.” 

“Hm, but how can I give you what you want if I don’t even know what it is?” He pouted back at you, mockingly. The tone of his voice and the way he made fun of you sent a shiver down your spine. You clung to him then, desperate. 

“Please, Hyunjin. I want… want you to fuck me.” 

“Yeah? You been thinking about it since the first time? That was over two months ago, babe, you could’ve asked a long time ago. So why didn’t you? Were you too proud?” 

You buried your face in his neck, so turned on by the way he talked down to you that you felt like crying, “I-I didn’t think you would want me. I thought you hated me. And, full offense by the way, you’ve been acting like a complete asshole. Of course I couldn’t bring myself to ask and I was… I don’t know, scared you’d say no o-or laugh at me.” 

“Oh sweetheart,” his voice was so condescending and yet, comforting. “I might have laughed at you, but I wouldn’t have said no. The truth is, I’ve been thinking about it a lot the past couple of months. Been thinking about you.”

“Really? Y-you thought of me?” 

“Almost everyday. Right when I woke up, just before falling asleep, every time I touched myself. You’ve been driving me crazy.” When you looked up at Hyunjin in shock, he leaned down and nudged at your neck with his nose. “It’s no excuse, but honestly, I think it’s why I’ve been shittier than usual. Sucks when all I can think about is the one person I can’t ever have.” 

“O-oh my god,” you whimpered, unable to say anything else with him so close to you.

“Fuck, you smell so good. I forgot how good you smelled.” Hyunjin all but panted as he nipped at your neck before sucking a deep purple mark into your skin. “Been thinking about having you like this for so long.” 

You gasped, fingers quickly finding their place in his hair as he pulled the neckline of your shirt aside, kissing down to your collarbones. “You look so fucking pretty, yn, so pretty. Wearing next to nothing, just for me.”

He was right about both things—you were wearing next to nothing and it was for him. You’d only worn a t-shirt and your underwear and while you hadn’t purposefully chosen what you were wearing for him, you hadn’t changed into something else, knowing he was coming over.

“Hyunjin,” you cried, “Hyunnie, I need you.” 

“Hyunnie?” He pulled away looking at you with a growing grin. 

“S-sorry, I—”

“No it’s okay,” he kissed your neck again before brushing your hair away from your face, “I like it. Call me Hyunnie.”

He was so tender that for a moment you forgot about your rivalry with him entirely. You felt overwhelmed by how much you liked him. And with the way he was looking at you, you knew that you wouldn’t be able to get over him any time soon. You whined again, pulling at the hem of his shirt. You wanted it off. 

“Off. Want to see you, Hyunnie.” 

He laughed and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips before tugging his shirt over his head, exposing his toned chest and stomach to you. You were quick to press hot, open-mouthed kisses all over his bare skin, wanting him to feel as good as he had made you feel. He groaned then, head falling back against the headboard of your bed, “Fuck, yn, you’re so hot. Never had anyone as good as you.” 

“Promise?” You stopped, looking at him with your head tilted to the side slightly. “Promise I’m your best?” 

“The very best. My best girl,” his voice was soft as he looked down at you, a gentle smile spread across his lips. He looked so different like this. He looked like he cared. 

“Your best girl,” you echoed, sounding dazed. His fingers brushed across your cheek, almost as if he was afraid to touch you, afraid that you’d leave or disappear if he wasn’t careful. “Yours.”

He hummed, pulling you into his lap to kiss him again, “Mmm, mine.”

His hands rested on your hips, holding you down against his hardening dick as he licked across your bottom lip. You moaned softly, opening your mouth for him so he could slide his tongue in, tangling with yours. His breath was hot and unsteady as you ground against him, growing wetter as he grew harder. 

“Want to take my shirt off,” you breathed against his mouth, not even opening your eyes as you continued kissing him between words. “Can I?”

“Of course, sweet girl. So good of you to ask, darling.” Hyunjin played with the hem of your shirt as he answered before helping to pull it over your head. 

Once your shirt was off, Hyunjin was quick to grab your boobs, fingers playing with your nipples as he continued to kiss you desperately. You felt so overwhelmed, pleasure flooding your senses and Hyunjin fared no better, he was so lost in how good it felt. 

Hyunjin’s dick was almost completely hard now as you ground your hips on top of him. If you looked down between you, you’d find the front of his sweatpants soaked with a mixture of his pre-cum and your own arousal. He groaned into your mouth as you moved against him. 

“Shit, you’re doing so good for me sweetheart,” he gasped, head falling back against the headboard again as you leaned in to suck and bite at his neck. His skin was so smooth, so pretty, you couldn’t keep yourself from moving to mark him up. Even though he wasn’t yours, you wanted to feel like he was. Wanted people to see him and know that he’d been with someone else. You wanted him off the market, as selfish as it sounded. 

“Need you, Hyunnie.” You sounded desperate to your own ears, and if you were in your right mind you would have cringed. “Need it inside.”

He was quick to set you aside, tugging his sweatpants off, revealing he hadn’t been wearing boxers underneath. You felt like your mouth might start watering as you stared at him, but you looked away when he laughed a little. You followed suit and shimmied out of your underwear, lying on the bed as he hovered over you. 

“Sweetheart, do you have a condom?” 

Your heart dropped into your stomach as you thought about it. You realized that you didn’t. This wasn’t exactly something you did very often. You felt so frustrated you could cry. “N-no, but I’m clean a-and I’m on the pill too so we still could if you wanted unless you don’t want to do it raw, which, I totally understand, but I—”

“Hey, hey,” he held your face in his hands, soft voice calming you down and effectively ending your rambling. “It’s okay. I’m clean too, I got tested recently to be safe. So if you’re okay with it, so am I.” 

You nodded and took a deep breath, trying to steady your heartbeat and your breathing. “Sorry, I’m such a mess I’m just… I don’t know, maybe I’m just desperate.”

“You’re okay, baby. I don’t mind you being desperate for me. But let’s establish a safe word or a system for you to tell me if it’s too much, yeah?” 

He was so sweet, it surprised you. He’d never been so kind or caring with you in all the years you’d known each other. You felt like you might cry again, but for a completely different reason this time. You just nodded again for him, holding on to his hand as you spoke. “M-maybe we could just use the traffic light system? Green for good, yellow for wait, and red for stop.” 

“Alright, let’s use that. Tell me if you’re anything other than green. What are you right now?” 

“Green,” you whispered, reaching up to pull him into another kiss, hoping it would calm your racing heart. “Definitely green.” 

He kissed you back for a few minutes while his fingers kneaded gentle circles into your hips. He slowly reached between your legs, two fingers prodding at your soaked entrance as his thumb rubbed small circles on your clit. “Gotta stretch you out really quickly, yeah? Just want you to feel good, don’t want to hurt you.” 

As he stretched you out, your mind wandered again to how much you liked him. You couldn’t remember the last time a guy had taken so much time to make you feel good, other than the last time you were with Hyunjin. It was overwhelming to be taken care of so well, especially by someone you’d thought hated you for the longest time. 

“Hyunnie,” you whispered, holding his wrist. 

“What is it? What’s your color?”

“I’m still green, I-I just… I’m ready for you now.”

He smiled up at you, a real, true smile. Your heart squeezed uncomfortably in your chest. You reached toward him, running your fingers through his hair and smiling back at him. He positioned his tip at your entrance, holding himself up over you with one hand while the other held your waist carefully. 

You moaned loudly, squeezing your eyes shut as he slid inside of you. He felt so perfect, you were certain you could never get enough of him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you so that his chest pressed against yours. 

“Do you feel okay, sweetheart? Need me to wait?” 

He kissed your neck, the hand on your hip moving to hold your hand, his fingers intertwined with yours. You shook your head, squeezing his hand. “N-no, please move.” 

“Tell me if I need to stop.” His voice, his gentle, sweet voice, was what made you moan again as he started thrusting into you slowly, not wanting to overwhelm you much more than you already were. 

“F-faster, Hyunnie.” 

He looked at you, eyes questioning, as he spoke, “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” you whined, moving to hold his hips and push him deeper into you. “Yes, I’m sure. I’m not glass, I won’t break.” 

“Okay,” his expression changed, lust darkening his gaze as he started to piston his hips into you. “But you still have to tell me if you need me to stop.” 

All you could do was whine and nod, clinging onto him tighter as he pounded into you. He hardly even had to adjust his position, it was like he remembered your body, remembered exactly where to hit to have you moaning and clenching around his cock. And he would never tell you but he did remember. How could he forget? He forced himself to remember every night, fucking his hand or his pillow or a fleshlight, pretending it was you.

“Hyunnie,” you whimpered, trying to hold onto his back as he thrusted hard and fast, just the way you wanted.

“What’s your color, sweet girl? You still doing okay?”

“Green. So, so green. God, you feel so good, Hyunnie,” you tried not to cry, knowing you’d feel so embarrassed if he saw you cry just because his dick felt good. “You’re so good.” 

Hyunjin reached down, hand snaking between your bodies so he could rub at your clit while he thrusted into you. “You gonna cum soon, pretty girl? My pretty baby. Cum for me, yeah?” 

It only took a little more stimulation to push you over the edge. You moaned out as you came, clenching tightly around him as his pace never faltered. “Hyunnie, I-I’m cumming.” 

“You’re so perfect,” Hyunjin groaned, chasing his own high and helping you through yours. “So, so perfect. You’ve done so well for me.”

“Hyunnie, want you to cum too,” you whined, looking up at him through wide, teary eyes.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I’m so close. Where do you want me to finish?” 

You pressed a kiss to his shoulder, pleased with yourself when he shuddered ever so slightly. “Inside.” 

“God, fuck,” Hyunjin’s eyes squeezed shut as his hips stuttered, “I’m cumming now, pretty. Just for you. Fuck.” 

You whimpered as he filled you with his release. Nothing had ever felt as good as this, as good as him. He lowered himself on top of you slowly, so he wouldn’t hurt you, and you kept your arms wrapped tightly around him, keeping him as close to you as you could. You didn’t want him to go yet. You didn’t want him to go.

He kissed your neck whispering praise into your ear as your breathing returned to normal. Once again, you took note of the fact that he himself didn’t sound out of breath or tired in the slightest. He sighed against your skin, fingers absentmindedly tracing over your hip. “Let’s get you to the bathroom, okay?” 

“Mmm,” you were too tired to really speak, so you nodded. 

Hyunjin pulled out slowly, pressing kisses to your jaw when you whimpered at the overstimulation. He crawled off your bed and then helped you up, guiding you to your bathroom down the hall. He waited for you to be done before wetting a washcloth with warm water and helping to clean you up gently. Hyunjin helped you change into a clean pair of underwear and then tugged his own t-shirt over your head.

When you got back to your bedroom and laid in your bed once more, you tried to think of something to say to Hyunjin. He sat down on top of your covers, watching you tenderly, waiting for you to speak patiently. But when he realized you weren’t going to say anything, he spoke instead, hands playing with the blankets to keep himself from touching you again. 

“Do you want me to go?” 

His question was what made up your mind officially. You’d been conflicted. He hated you and you were pretending to hate him right back. At the same time, you didn’t want to be alone for the rest of the night. The decision hadn’t been clear at first, but now, with him so close and looking at you so gently, you knew that you wanted him to stay. 

So you shook your head, reaching out to pull him down beside you. “I want you to stay.”

“Okay,” he whispered, laying down beside you. “I’ll stay.” 

You laid together in silence for a long time, but you still couldn’t fall asleep. Your thoughts still plagued you. “Hyunjin?” 

“Hm?” 

“What… what are we?”

Hyunjin didn’t know what to say. What did you want to be? You didn’t know what to say either, because the truth was, you weren’t entirely sure what you’d been expecting in the first place. Only a few months you would have cringed at the thought of having sex with him. Now, you craved it. Before, you thought you hated him. Now, you had a feeling you were starting to fall in love with him, even if he was an arrogant asshole.

“Well…” Hyunjin cleared his throat and rolled over to look at you. “What do you want to be? Because a couple months ago, you wanted me to pretend like nothing had happened between us, so I’m honestly a little confused.” 

You felt like your heart was in your throat instead of your chest and you found it difficult to breathe as you tried to gather your thoughts. Were you getting rejected before you’d even really confessed? Stop overreacting.

“I… I only really said that because I thought you hated me. In my defense, after I said that you started acting even shittier than usual, so it felt valid at the time. I thought that if I was honest with you about how I felt, you’d just… tell me off. Which was, in hindsight, really stupid and childish of me and we probably would have avoided all of the frustration of the past couple months, but… I think this whole time I’ve just been pretending to hate you because it’s easier than getting my heart broken liking you.”

“You… like me?” 

“No, dipshit, I hate your fucking guts,” you sighed and pouted at him. “Yes, I like you. Did you not hear a word I just said?” 

“I-I heard you, I just… why do you like me?” Hyunjin looked stunned as your eyes met. Your gaze softened as you reached out a hand, holding his face gently. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I’ve only ever been a dick to you. I-I’m not exactly nice and I—”

“I think that being mean might just be your facade too.” 

Hyunjin fell quiet after that and you did too, both of you unsure of what to say. You were starting to regret telling Hyunjin about your feelings. Maybe you should have told him to leave. Maybe asking him to stay was the worst idea you’d ever had. Maybe you were reading too much into the silence. Maybe, maybe, maybe. But then he spoke.

“I don’t know why we even started this stupid rivalry. But to be honest, I never hated you. I thought that you hated me, and to be honest, you’d been getting on my nerves. I’m sure I was on yours too. After a while, I just… didn’t know how to stop.” 

“I don’t think either of us knew how to stop it was just… familiar to fight, I guess.” 

Hyunjin nodded and sighed a little, voice sounding sad as he spoke. “Yeah, but I don’t… I don’t want to fight anymore.” 

“I don’t want to fight anymore either.” 

He looked up at you, eyes wide and full of hope. He was looking at you so tenderly you wondered if this moment was even real or just a dream. He reached over and brushed your hair away from your face, hand trailing down to caress your shoulder gently. 

“Can we… start fresh, then? Go from there?” 

His voice was careful, like he didn’t want to say the wrong thing. And you couldn’t help but agree with the offer. So you smiled at him and nodded slowly. “Yeah. We can start fresh.” 

The bright smile that stretched over his features made it worth it. He made it worth it. You knew you could put any disagreements, any bitterness, in the past if he just smiled at you like that everyday. Everything would be okay if he just smiled at you like that all the time. 

You sighed softly, leaning into him and closing your eyes. You felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of your shoulders. You heard Hyunjin sigh too before he pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead and closed his eyes too. “Goodnight, yn.”

“Night, Hyunnie,” you mumbled back, drifting off to sleep not long after. 

You woke up to Hyunjin shaking your arm, whispering frantically for you to wake up. “You have to hide. Now.”

“Why?” You rubbed at your eyes, trying to wake yourself up. You were confused, brain still hazy from sleep. His urgency did nothing to hurry you along. “What’s going on?”

“I’ll explain later, but right now you have to hide. Go somewhere safe. I’ll come back for you.” 

That woke you up. He would come back? “Where are you going?” 

“To get help. Do you trust me?” He held your arms, looking into your eyes, worry filling his own. When you nodded, he all but pulled you out of your bed, trying to shove you into your closet. “Then hide here and don’t come out until I get back.” 

The closet door closed just a loud crash resounded through your apartment. It sounded like it was coming from your living room. You huddled against the back corner of your closet in fear as thundering steps pounded towards your bedroom. You hoped Hyunjin had found somewhere safe to hide. 

You bit back a scream as a large shadowy figure ripped the closet door from its hinges, tossing it aside and peering into the dark closet. You held your breath as the dark, hunchbacked figure smelled the air, creeping into the closet. You pressed yourself further against the back wall, holding back a terrified whimper. 

The creature stopped a centimeter away from where you were hidden behind your hanging clothes. He smelled the air one last time and then lunged at you, pulling you out of your hiding spot. You screamed as he dragged you away, reaching for something, anything to hold onto. 

You realized the creature carrying wasn’t a person really, but rather some sort of inhuman monster. He smelled of rot and death, his large clawed hands dug into your skin just enough to draw blood and sting, and he was ginormous, scaling down the wall of your apartment building while still holding you under one arm. 

You cried as he carried you further and further away from your home, screaming for someone to help you. And just when you were worried you’d never be saved, the familiar thwip of a spider web filled your ears. The monster roared as he clawed at the webbing covering his eyes, grip on you only tightening. You cried out in pain as his claws punctured your skin even deeper. 

“Hey death breath!” Spider-Man called, swinging down from a building and kicking the creature square in the chest. “Let her go!” 

As the monster toppled over, howling as the breath was knocked from his lungs, his grip on you loosened enough for you to tear yourself away from him, running and stumbling over your own feet as you hid in an alleyway. You watched from around the corner as Spider-Man fought the creature, taunting him and making him angrier than before. 

You closed your eyes, ducking down behind a dumpster when they got closer to the alleyway where you were hiding. With your eyes closed, you focused on Spider-Man’s voice, hoping it would calm you. But when you focused on his voice, really focused on it, you realized why he’d always sounded so familiar. 

Your eyes shot open just as Spider-Man finished wrapping the monster in webbing, calling someone to pick the monster up (some organization he’d told you about before called S.H.I.E.L.D.). Once the monster was in the hands of several tall men in body armor, Spider-Man made his way over to you. 

“Are you okay? Let me see your arms. He didn’t hurt you too bad, did he? Maybe we should take you to a hospital—”

“Hyunjin?” You rasped out. A part of you hoped you were wrong. Spider-Man couldn’t be Hyunjin. Spider-Man wouldn’t lie to you like that. He wouldn’t pretend to be someone else while you ranted about him. He couldn’t be Hyunjin. 

Spider-Man let your arm drop, backing up one step. Two steps. He pulled the mask over his face, eyes wide and worried as he looked at you. Familiar brown eyes. The same beauty mark you’d been obsessed with for months. “I-I can explain—”

“How could you not tell me?” 

“I just—”

You didn’t realize you were crying until he reached out for you. You backed away, hurt making way for anger. “You just let me go on about you to your face! You lied to me. God, I’m so stupid. I knew your voice was familiar. I should have put two and two together sooner—”

“Yn, please, just let me explain.” 

“Explain what,” you seethed, glaring at him as tears continued to spill from your eyes. “How you’re just a lying asshole? I thought I could trust you. I told you everything. I talked about you so much and you never even stopped me. I hate you! I can’t believe I even considered starting over.” 

“That’s not fair,” his voice was quiet and his eyes were filled with hurt. But you couldn’t bring yourself to care. All you could think about was your own anger.

“Oh, it’s not?” 

“You knew I couldn’t tell you. This is exactly why I couldn’t tell you. I messed up. I shouldn’t have gotten close to you as Spider-Man. I put you in danger and I take full responsibility for that. And I just… needed a friend. If I told you, you would have stopped letting me see you. I’m selfish, I know that. But I just… didn’t want to lose you. And I never meant for you to get hurt.” 

You rolled your eyes, trying to keep the tears that filled your eyes at bay. You were sick of crying in front of him. “Whatever. Leave me the fuck alone.” 

“Let me take you to the hospital first—”

“Leave me alone,” you hissed. “I don’t need your help.” 

Hyunjin wanted to protest more, wanted to make sure you were okay. But he also didn’t want to make you even angrier, so he swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded before tugging his mask back over his head and turning to leave. You watched him go, wondering if he would look back at you. He didn’t. 

Once he was gone, your anger subsided, turning to sadness and it was then that you realized just how much your arms burned. You looked down, shocked to see how much they were bleeding, so you made your way to the side of the road, hoping maybe a taxi would come by so you could get to the hospital. Now that you weren’t as angry, you realized how cold you were too. You noticed then that you were still only wearing your underwear and Hyunjin’s t-shirt. You shivered, wrapping your bleeding arms around yourself and crying. 

“I came as fast as I could,” Yeji panted as she entered your room in the ER. She was still in her pajamas and her hair was thrown into a haphazard ponytail, eyes full of fear. “How are you? Are you in any pain? Do you need anything? Should I call for the nurse—”

“Yeji. I’m okay.” You smiled a little at her, trying to convince her that you didn’t need anything. 

She pulled the visitor chair closer to your bed and sat down beside you. “Well, just let me know if you need anything, okay?” 

“Honestly,” you laughed bitterly, “my arms are in less pain than my heart is.” 

“Why, what happened?” 

“Hyunjin came over tonight.” Yeji’s eyes widened at your confession, but she didn’t say anything, so you continued. “I realized that I didn’t really hate him, so I invited him over to… talk. We had finally worked everything out when that monster broke into our apartment and took me. Most of it is a blur until afterwards when I was hiding in the alleyway. I realized that the voice was familiar and…”

You didn’t finish. You didn’t have to. You could tell by the way Yeji’s gaze hardened that she knew what you meant. “He lied to you all this time? I know I’m not supposed to know about your little friendship with Spider-Man, but I mean, you guys weren’t very sneaky. I knew he was coming over. That’s why I always left in the evenings. I never would have guessed that…” 

You shook your head, stopping her. As angry as you were at Hyunjin, you didn’t want his secret to get out. It would put him in danger as well as his family and friends. She understood, voice trailing off until she was silent again. 

“I kind of get it though,” she finally spoke again. “I don’t think I would have told you either, to be honest. Especially if we were rivals. Not only for your safety, but because… it would be nice to get to talk to you without worrying we would break into a fight. You and Hyunjin seem to get along really well when you’re not arguing about school and grades. I think the rivalry has been such a huge part of your relationship for so long that it’s hard to just forget that and move on. Which is why he probably enjoyed just spending time with you.” 

“He still lied to me,” you whispered.

“Yeah, he did. But what would the truth have cost you both?” 

You fell quiet after that, pondering her words, mulling them over in your mind as you sat beside her. You hated to admit that she was right. Mostly, you hated to admit that you were wrong. You didn’t want the part of you that missed Hyunjin to take over. You wanted to stay angry at him. 

But you just couldn’t. 

Not when the image of his pretty face was seared into your memory. Not when you could see his beautiful eyes when you closed your own. Not when you couldn’t stop thinking of what it was like to run your fingers through his hair and certainly not when you couldn’t stop remembering every conversation you’d had with him without even knowing who he was. 

You were stubborn though. Even though you weren’t angry anymore, you weren’t going to let him know that. You weren’t going to let Yeji know that either. So you just huffed and crossed your arms, wincing at the pain. How had you already forgotten you were in the hospital for an injury to your arms?

Yeji hummed thoughtfully and you looked over at her when she spoke up again. “Do you think insurance will cover the damages to the apartment? Wait, do you think we’ll still get our security deposit back?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that. Of course Yeji was worried about the security deposit. As silly as it may seem, her questions comforted you. You didn’t know what would happen, didn’t know how you would pay for your apartment’s damages if you had to, but you did know that no matter what happened you’d have Yeji alongside you. That was the thought that comforted you. 

When you went back to class after a day of resting at the hospital, Hyunjin was sitting in his usual spot, but he didn’t look at you. He didn’t speak to you either. You couldn’t help but notice the deep purple bags under his eyes and the exhaustion that was written all over his face. Your heart squeezed uncomfortably in your chest when you saw the hint of a fading bruise peeking up from under the collar of his button-up shirt. You knew he had an advanced healing factor, but you also knew it wasn’t as fast as some. You wondered if the bruises still hurt.

You tried to focus on what your professor was saying at the front of the room, but your thoughts kept drifting to the man sitting in front of you and the way you’d left things only a couple nights before. You were surprised when a graded test was placed in front of you. You looked up to see the TA grinning down at you. “Nice job, yn.” 

You’d forgotten you’d even take a test the week before. Your thoughts had been consumed by Hyunjin then as well, just in a different way. You looked at the score. 100%. You were surprised. You couldn’t even remember studying for it. It was like you’d been on autopilot. You peered over Hyunjin’s shoulder like normal to see the score he’d gotten, but frowned when you noticed the red 62% at the top of his paper. It wasn’t like Hyunjin to do so poorly. 

You were about to say something to him when he stood up, gathering his things and walking out of the classroom, leaning in to whisper an excuse to your professor before he walked out the door. Your frown deepened and you looked back at the score on your paper. Your thoughts had been elsewhere and you’d passed, but his had been elsewhere and he failed. Had he done it on purpose? 

That couldn’t be it. Maybe you just didn’t know him as well as you’d thought you had. You sighed and tucked the test away in your bag, trying once more to focus on the lesson your professor was teaching. It was still no use. No matter how hard you tried, your thoughts drifted back to Hyunjin. Had you made a mistake?

That night, as you sat in your new apartment (your landlord had been gracious enough to let you and Yeji move into an empty apartment two floors above yours), you half expected Hyunjin to come tapping at your window like he usually did. You tried to ignore the disappointment that settled in your chest when he didn’t. 

Yeji knocked on your bedroom door before pushing it open and poking her head inside. “I made cookies. Do you want some?” 

“Yeah, sure,” you nodded absentmindedly, looking up at her when she entered your room fully with a plate of cookies and something to drink. She sat down beside you on the floor and watched as you did your homework, sharing the cookies in silence until you spoke again. “Hyunjin failed our latest physics test.” 

“Did he?” 

You hummed in acknowledgement before sighing and setting your pencil down. “It’s not like him. Something must have been wrong.” 

“Since when do you care?” 

The question shocked you, but you knew it was a valid concern. Up until now you’d never shown any sign that you cared about Hyunjin. In fact, you were always adamant about the fact that you hated him. You pouted and averted her gaze, mumbling a little as you spoke. “Since we had sex the second time.”

“Right.” Yeji made a noise and nodded at you. How could she have forgotten? “What are you going to do about it?” 

“Nothing,” you bit back, glaring in an attempt to cover your true feelings. 

“Nothing?” 

“He lied to me. He’s been an asshole for years. I’m not doing anything about this. He doesn’t deserve it.” 

“You’ve been mean right back,” Yeji pointed out, grabbing the empty plate and glasses and standing up. “You haven’t exactly been a saint to him. Sure he’s been a dick, but you’ve been mean too. Maybe it was in defense sometimes, but sometimes you were mean just to hurt him. You’re not blameless.” 

Yeji had a knack for telling you the truth even when you didn’t want to hear it. Somehow she never made you feel bad about it either. “Yeah. I was a bitch, wasn’t I?” 

“You were.” 

“Still…” You shook your head, determined not to talk to Hyunjin. At least, not yet. “I can’t. I won’t talk to him.”

Yeji shrugged, leaving your room with a quiet, “Suit yourself.” 

When Yeji was gone, you pushed your completed homework away and laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling. Was this a decision you would come to regret? Or were you doing what was best for yourself? You were still hurt over what Hyunjin had done, what he hadn’t told you, how he’d treated you since high school. But you also missed him. You missed him as Hyunjin, pleasing you and caring for you so tenderly. Most of all, you missed him as Spider-Man, sitting on your bedroom floor with you for hours, helping you with your homework and telling you awful jokes just to see you smile. 

In the distance, you heard a faint crashing sound, a roar, then silence. You wondered if it was Hyunjin. You wondered if he was okay. Was he hurt? Did he get the bad guy? Would he sleep at all tonight? You sat up and walked quietly toward the window, settling yourself on the small window seat while you looked outside, hoping to catch a glimpse of your red and blue hero. 

Hyunjin bit back a whimper as he shoved his window up and slipped inside his bedroom. He groaned as he collapsed onto the floor, clutching his side in pain. He tugged the mask from his face and looked down at the wound, finally pulling his hand away to inspect the damage. He’d have to repair the suit when he had some free time. He’d use the spare for now. 

His phone rang from his backpack and he sighed before digging it out and answering the call. “Hello?” 

“Hey, just saw your big fight. Need me to come over? I want to help you.” 

“Hey, Ji. I-I’m fine,” he winced as he pulled his suit off and stumbled into the bathroom to find his first aid kit. “I just need to rest.” 

He could imagine Jisung nodding along. “Right, right, well if you need anything—”

“Fuck,” Hyunjin groaned in frustration, slamming the bathroom cabinet shut and interrupting Jisung’s rambling train of thought. “Fuck.”

“What’s wrong?” 

“I need a new first aid kit. I forgot I needed a new one.” 

Hyunjin could hear shuffling in the background of the call and the jingling of keys. “I’ll pick one up and head over. You don’t need to be going out in your condition. I’ll be there in fifteen.” 

“Okay,” Hyunjin mumbled, hating the feeling of helplessness that washed over him. He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed at his face, willing himself not to cry. “Make sure you find one that has hydrogen peroxide. And if it doesn’t, pick up a bottle. Maybe get an extra roll of gauze too.” 

“For sure. Guy in the chair to the rescue! I’ll be there soon.” Jisung hung up before Hyunjin could say anything else. 

He left his phone on the bathroom counter and slid down the wall, too tired and in pain to stand. He rested his head on his knees and in the privacy of his bathroom, in the dead of night, he allowed himself to cry. He sobbed into his knees, whimpering at the effort it took just to cry and wincing at the pain it put him in. But he couldn’t stop. 

That’s how Jisung found him. Crying on the floor of his bathroom, covered in his own blood. Jisung knelt beside him, opening the bottle of hydrogen peroxide and dousing a washcloth in the liquid. He helped Hyunjin lie down and warned him before pressing the soaked cloth into the wound. Hyunjin clenched his jaw, groaning at the sting as Jisung continued to dab at the wound, cleaning it the best he could. 

Hyunjin glanced down at the wound in his side, reassuring him through clenched teeth that it was clean enough and pushing his hands away. His breathing was shallow as Jisung wrapped the gauze around the wound with some help from Hyunjin. 

“Thank you,” Hyunjin said quietly, finally sitting up again, head leaned back against the bathroom wall and tears staining his cheeks. 

“Don’t mention it,” Jisung said back, his own voice quiet for once. He paused for a moment before continuing. “Are you just crying because of your physical pain, or are you crying because of yn?” 

Hyunjin closed his eyes, shaking his head a little. “I don’t know. Both, maybe.” 

Jisung nodded even though Hyunjin couldn’t see it. He sat there beside his best friend in silence, listening to Hyunjin’s ragged breathing and soft sniffles. He hated seeing him like this. He hated the pain that Hyunjin was in, both physically and emotionally. 

“You should try talking to her.” 

He shook his head, squeezing his eyes closed tighter as tears slipped from beneath the lids again. “I can’t. Not this time. She doesn’t want to fucking hear from me. Never again.” 

“Okay.” Jisung’s voice was still soft. He didn’t want to disturb Hyunjin. “Do you want me to leave?” 

“No.” 

“Okay.” 

After a few more quiet moments, Hyunjin sighed and forced himself to his feet, with help from Jisung. Jisung helped Hyunjin to his bedroom, watching carefully as Hyunjin pulled pajamas on and laid down in his bed. Then Jisung asked again, “Do you want me to leave?” 

Hyunjin still shook his head, “No. Stay.” 

Jisung searched Hyunjin’s closet and found a sleeping bag. He pulled an extra blanket out of the closet as well and took the extra pillow from Hyunjin’s bed, making a place for himself to sleep on the floor. Hyunjin closed his eyes, on the verge of sleep. 

“Thank you, Ji.” 

“I’ll always be here for you.”

Hyunjin mumbled sleepily as Jisung turned off the light. “I know.” 

When you walked into the classroom, the first thing you noticed was your professor standing beside where Hyunjin was seated, talking to him quietly. As you walked closer, you listened to their conversation. 

“... and I know I don’t usually do this, but seeing as it’s so unlike you and you’ve seemed very distracted lately, I’m giving you the opportunity to make up the test. If you decide you want to make it up, I’ll pair you with another student from the class to help you with the content to ensure you do better.” 

Hyunjin smiled at your professor but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I appreciate that. I would love to make up the test, seeing as you’re giving me the opportunity to.” 

“Great.” Your professor turned just as you were unpacking your bag, making eye contact with you. “Yn, would you mind helping Hyunjin study for his test retake this Friday? You got the best score in the class on this test, so I think you’d be the perfect person to help him out.” 

You blinked slowly, looking from your professor to Hyunjin and back again before stammering a quiet, “Uh, y-yeah, sure.” 

They smiled gently at you and patted Hyunjin on the shoulder before walking back to the front of the room. You looked at Hyunjin, but he wasn’t looking at you. He was already focused on looking forward toward the whiteboard, covered in equations. You sighed, a small frown forming on your lips as you focused on the board as well. 

When class ended, you moved a little slower, wondering if Hyunjin would say something to you first. He didn’t. He started to leave and you lunged forward, grabbing onto his arm. “Um, if you want, I can meet you at your apartment to help you study.” 

“It’s alright,” he gave you an expert fake smile and your heart fell. “You don’t have to help me. I know you’re busy.” 

He left before you could say anything else, Jisung giving you an apologetic look as he followed after him. You stood in the middle of the aisle between tables watching him leave, sadness filling you up and etching itself across your face. After a moment of staring at the empty doorway, you huffed and gathered your things, leaving the classroom, thoughts of Hyunjin filling your mind. 

The week passed by too slowly and too quickly all at the same time. On Friday, Hyunjin redid his test and the professor graded it before the class period ended. When they came to leave the new test on Hyunjin’s desk, they smiled at you, mouthing a ‘thank you’ as they explained the new score to Hyunjin. You didn’t have the heart to admit you hadn’t actually done anything to help him. 

The next week came and went quickly as well, your worry for Hyunjin growing with each day. He looked exhausted and almost ill. He needed a day off. He needed a break. But of course, you weren’t in any position to tell him any of that.

You met eyes with Jisung more than once throughout the week, sharing worried glances but never speaking a word. Jisung was clearly just as concerned about his friend’s physical health as you were, maybe even more so. It comforted you to know that Hyunjin had such a good friend to take care of him. You knew it was something you couldn’t do—not now. 

Jisung stopped you after class one day—Hyunjin hadn’t come to class and you were clearly worried about him. “Hyun’s just resting at home. He woke up with the stomach flu. I thought you’d like to know.” 

“Oh,” you tried to ignore the wave of relief that flooded over you. You were supposed to be angry at him. “Uh, thanks for letting me know, but I’m not—”

“You might be able to fool Hyunjin, but you can’t fool me. I see the way you look at him. As much as you claim you don’t, you do care. He won’t talk to you. He thinks you don’t want to hear from him. But he never said that I couldn’t talk to you.” Jisung’s voice was stern and his, usually kind, eyes were cold as he glowered at you. 

You shifted nervously from one foot to the other. “Wh-what is there to talk about?” 

“You need to talk to Hyunjin.” Jisung’s face softened a little when he noticed your discomfort. “He’s not doing well. He’s not as careful when he’s… well, you know. He hardly sleeps, he hardly eats, he just mopes around, studies, and patrols at night. It’s not healthy. I’m really worried about him. He may have been an asshole to you in the past but he started to really care about you. And I know you did too. So please talk to him. I can’t stand seeing him like this anymore.” 

You were quiet for a long moment as you thought about what Jisung had said. Hyunjin had hurt you, that was true, but you’d grown to care about him too and it was hard to just ignore those feelings you had developed. You sighed and nodded, moving your bag to your other shoulder and walking away from Jisung. 

“I’ll talk to him.” 

You’d made up your mind to visit Hyunjin’s apartment right after your last class of the day. Thankfully your classes ended early enough that you’d be able to walk to his apartment while it was still light outside. While you walked, you thought of what you would say to Hyunjin and you held a grocery bag full of medicine, soups, and drinks close to you. 

You were pulled from your thoughts when an old woman across the street dropped her own grocery bag and dozens of cans fell out all over the sidewalk, rolling in every direction. You looked both ways before hurrying across the street and crouching down to help her gather the cans she’d lost. She beamed at you gratefully, “Oh, thank you dear, you’re too kind. These old hands are no good anymore—it’s too hard to even carry a simple grocery bag.” 

“It’s no problem, really. Do you need any help getting back to where you live?” 

“I couldn’t ask you to do that, dear!” She looked surprised as she spoke, but the way her frail hands shook convinced you once and for all to help her. 

“Really, I don’t mind. Let me carry this for you.” 

“If you insist.” 

You didn’t notice the sinister look in her eyes or hear the drop in the tone of her voice. You didn’t see her back straighten out and her features morph into that of a man you’d never met. You didn’t see him pulling a soaked cloth out of his pocket and you didn’t have time to process what was happening before the cloth was pressed over your nose and mouth. The last thing you saw before you fell unconscious was the hazy sky above you and towering, grimy apartment buildings. 

When you came to, the first thing you noticed was the ache in your arms and legs. You looked down, blinking wearily and saw that you were tied to a chair. Panicked, your eyes widened and you looked around the room, searching for familiarity. But you didn’t recognize where you were at all. The room was large and circular, made of brick, and lit only by an old lamp against one of the far, curved walls. There were no windows; you couldn’t tell what time it was, didn’t know how long you’d been there. It was empty other than the chair you were bound to and the lamp against the wall. You turned your head as far as you could in both directions but couldn’t see a door anywhere. It must’ve been directly behind you. 

You wanted to scream for help, but your mouth and throat felt dry and your tongue felt swollen and heavy in your mouth. You took a deep breath, trying not to cry as you looked around you once more. Now was not the time to cry. You had to think. You had to find a way out. 

You heard the sound of a door unlocking and the loud scraping noise of it opening. You craned your neck to try and see who had entered the room, but they remained just out of view as they spoke. “You’re even more beautiful up close, my dear.” 

You bit back a surprised gasp at the cool hand that pushed your hair off your shoulder, exposing your neck. You remembered the old woman who had dropped her groceries, but the voice you were hearing now certainly didn’t belong to her. 

“It’s a shame we had to meet like this. Waiting for your hero to come and rescue you.” The man behind you chuckled darkly and you shivered. He walked slowly, heavy boots clunking against the floor as he came into view. His face was completely white and the lack of defining facial features made you squirm uncomfortably. His head was smooth and hairless, he had no nose, no lips. His mouth was just a line in his pale face and his eyes were sunken deep in his skull. 

“He will come,” you finally found your voice, glaring at him as you spoke, voice steadier than you would have thought it would be. “He always comes.” 

“Perhaps… I certainly hope he does. I want him to be here to see it when I kill you.” 

You felt dizzy. There was no way this man would ever let you live, whether Hyunjin showed up to save you or not. You had to think. Quickly.

“But first,” he spoke again after you didn’t answer, “let me introduce myself. I am Dmitri Smerdyakov. You may know me as Chameleon. Maybe you’ll recognize the name of my brother. Kraven the Hunter.”

You did recognize the name of Kraven the Hunter. He was a renowned villain, always coming back to try and kill Spider-Man. But he’d died recently. Chameleon could see the recognition on your face and he laughed darkly again.

“So you do know my brother.” 

“He’s dead,” you spat at him, glaring with as much ferocity as you could muster. 

Chameleon’s playful smirk fell and he took a step closer to you. “Precisely why you’re here. It’s Spider-Man’s fault my brother is dead. This is my revenge. An eye for an eye. Spider-Man deserves to suffer. What better way to make him suffer than to take the girl he loves.” 

“Well, you’re making a mistake then.” You sat up straighter, trying to look brave despite the fear that coursed through your veins. “Spider-Man doesn’t love me.” 

“No matter. You’re still someone close to him. Don’t think I haven’t watched him sneaking into your room at night. You may not see me but I… see… you.” Chameleon was so close now you could smell the stink of his breath. So close you had to lean back to see his face fully. 

You didn’t speak, clenching your jaw and keeping your head held high. It was a silent battle, who would look away first? You were determined not to look away, even if your body started to shake from the fear. And your determination paid off. You won. He scoffed, standing up fully and walking away. 

“For your sake, I hope your hero arrives quickly. Maybe I’ll show you mercy if he does.” 

When the heavy door slammed shut behind him, your body relaxed, sinking into the uncomfortable wooden chair. Only when you were sure he wasn’t coming back did you let yourself cry. What if Hyunjin didn’t come for you? How would he even know you were missing? 

You’d never felt so hopeless and lonely in your life. 

Hyunjin woke up in a cold sweat. Something felt wrong. Something wasn’t right. He grabbed his phone from his bedside table, opening up the news app to see if something was happening. His heart dropped into his stomach at the video clip he found linked to a news article titled Young Woman Kidnapped as Bait for Spider-Man. It was you. 

He sat up quickly, watching the video. He watched it once, then twice, then after he’d watched it five times all the way through he called Jisung. Jisung was more tech savvy than he was—maybe he’d be able to find out where the video was filmed. Despite it being the middle of the night, Jisung answered pretty quickly. 

“Jisung,” Hyunjin breathed, chewing anxiously on his bottom lip. “You need to come over right now.” 

“What’s going on?” 

Hyunjin sighed, stumbling around his room and grabbing his suit, “I need my guy in the chair.” 

“I’m on my way.” 

Ironically, Jisung lived in an apartment building only one street over from Hyunjin’s, so it didn’t take him long to get to Hyunjin’s apartment. He was sitting at Hyunjin’s desk only seven minutes later, inspecting the video on his laptop (one that he’d fixed up himself to be more high-tech). He frowned, rubbing at his chin as he watched the video over and over again. 

“Well, the room has no windows, at least not any that are visible from this angle, so it’s almost impossible to determine where this is from anything we might see through those. But if we isolate the background noise,” Jisung’s voice trailed off as he typed away at his laptop, working to isolate the noise, “you can faintly hear what sounds like a party or a nightclub. The room looks circular, so we can narrow it down to buildings with a dome on top or that are more circular in overall shape. I can think of one nightclub off the top of my head that has a dome on top.” 

Hyunjin’s eyes widened as he looked at Jisung. He knew which club Jisung was referring to. “Venom?” 

“Yeah,” Jisung grinned. “Venom.” 

“I have to go—”

“Wait!” Jisung stood quickly, grabbing his backpack and digging through it. “I made these for us. Earpieces.” 

The earpieces were small. They almost looked like small hearing aids. They wouldn’t bulge or be uncomfortable under his mask. He took the earpieces from Jisung’s hand, offering him a grateful smile, “Thanks Ji.” 

“I’ll help direct you, find information on whoever this guy is, and whatever else you need from me. Stay in contact. If you need help, I’ll send someone.” 

Hyunjin nodded, “I’ll stay in touch. Thank you Jisung.” 

Jisung nodded in return and pushed Hyunjin toward his window. “Now go. You have to save yn.” 

Hyunjin was quick to leave then, his only thought being to save you. As he made his way towards the popular downtown nightclub, Venom, he couldn’t stop the nagging feeling that he was making his way into a trap. He pushed that thought away. He’d seen you tied up, there was no way it could be a trap. He had to save you. 

Jisung’s voice pulled him from his spiraling thoughts, “There should be a trap door in the center of the dome, up at the top. You can get inside there.” 

Hyunjin didn’t answer as he landed on the top of the dome. Jisung was right about the trap door. He turned the wheel and hoisted the circular door up carefully, peering inside cautiously before dropping in. There you were. Tied to a chair in the center of the room, eyes closed but chest heaving. You were crying. 

He kept quiet, afraid that if he made too much noise the villain may return and hurt you. When he was right in front of you, you opened your eyes, looking at him shocked. You gasped, starting to speak, but he covered your mouth with a gloved hand, urging you to stay silent. You relaxed as he untied you and then watched as he stood back, giving you space to finally stand again. 

“I was worried you wouldn’t come,” you whispered, throwing yourself on him in a tight hug. 

He breathed out in relief, grateful that you were okay, wrapping his arms around you in return. “I’ll always come for you.” 

“As I expected,” the voice that came from you wasn’t your own anymore and Hyunjin pushed you off in shock, his head ringing as every alarm bell went off. He watched in horror as you changed into someone else, someone he recognized. Chameleon. He should have known. 

Hyunjin’s whole body stiffened as he backed up, looking around the room for you, “Where is she?” 

“Hm,” Chameleon hummed thoughtfully before breaking out into a sinister laugh, “Wouldn’t you like to know?” 

“If you hurt her—” 

“What? You’ll kill me too?” 

Hyunjin recoiled at the words, as if they physically hurt him. “I didn’t kill Kraven. You know I didn’t.” 

“But you didn’t stop it!” Chameleon’s featureless face somehow managed to look enraged and Hyunjin continued to watch cautiously as he started pacing. “You were there. You could have saved him. But you didn’t. Some hero you are!” 

Hyunjin didn’t respond, just watched warily, hoping that by letting him rant, he would divulge some information about where you actually were. But Chameleon only looked at him with crazed, infuriated eyes, daring him to answer. Hyunjin was never one to back down from a fight. He couldn’t be. Not when this was his job.

“There was nothing I could do. Now, tell me where she is!” 

Chameleon just shook his head, grinning eerily at Hyunjin. “You’ll never find her. I’ve taken her somewhere no one will ever find her.” 

You shivered as you looked around you. Chameleon had taken you somewhere different after sending the video of you to the press. It was cold and damp, dark save only for a faint, bluish light coming from one end of the tunnel. You felt nauseous and light-headed, a result of the horrible smell that rose all around you. You cringed as what you hoped was water dripped onto your skin from the curved ceiling. You were in the sewers. 

And Chameleon wasn’t there. 

How would Hyunjin ever find you now? You were still tied tightly to the chair you’d been in up in the windowless building. It felt like the more you wiggled to try and get free, the tighter the ropes wrapped around you, the more they dug into your skin. Your arms and legs ached from the odd angles they were bent at, your wrists and ankles burned from the ropes rubbing against your skin, your head was pounding from all the crying and lack of hydration. 

You looked around again, wondering if there was something around you that you could use to cut at the ropes. But there was nothing. You leaned your head back, squeezing your eyes shut and trying not to cry. You did the only thing you could think to do, though it was all in vain. “Help! Somebody help me!” 

Your voice echoed down the tunnels. Nobody answered you. You hung your head in defeat. You were going to starve to death down here if you didn’t die from the smell first. No one would ever find you here. Hyunjin would never find you. You sobbed silently for a moment, heaving as you tried to compose yourself again. 

A quiet squeaking noise pulled you out of your self-pity party. You looked down one end of the tunnel and saw nothing. You looked down the other end and saw nothing. But then you looked down at your feet and yelped. A rat. 

At first you shied away from the disease ridden creature, until a thought dawned on you. What if you could get the rat to chew at the ropes? How could you even do that? But you were determined. You had to get out. You had to try. 

You couldn’t give up. Not now. 

Hyunjin felt sick to his stomach. Where had Chameleon taken you? He had to think. He was running out of time. He had to focus. He couldn’t find you if he was dead. 

“Where is she?” Hyunjin asked again, teeth clenched as he stepped closer to the hideous man in front of him. 

Chameleon lunged then, hands outstretched as if to grab him, “I already told you! Somewhere you’ll never find her! Not until it’s too late!” 

Hyunjin ducked at the last second, sending Chameleon tripping over his own feet as he passed. He whipped around, angrier than before, and swung a fist at Hyunjin’s head. Hyunjin ducked again before delivering a swift kick to his side, sending him stumbling backward as he grabbed at his side, breath knocked out of him. 

“You’re going to wish you never did that!”

“Really?” Hyunjin quipped as he moved aside as Chameleon leapt towards him for another attack. “I don’t think I will!” 

The duo jumped and ducked and lunged around the room, swinging fists and kicking as they went. It was a rival’s tango—an enemy’s dance. Hyunjin groaned as Chameleon finally kicked him square in the stomach, but he recovered quickly, rolling out of the way again as Chameleon leaned in to punch him in the jaw. Chameleon roared in anger as he punched the ground instead. 

“Ready to give up yet?” Hyunjin asked, swinging down from the ceiling and kicking Chameleon in the chest with both feet. 

“I’ll never give up!” 

“Always so dramatic,” Hyunjin taunted, hanging from the ceiling and watching as Chameleon caught his breath. “You always have to have the last word, don’t you?” 

“I’ll be damned if I let you have the final word!” 

Hyunjin shook his head, hanging just out of Chameleon’s reach. “Let’s make a deal, then. I’ll let you have the last word if you tell me where she is.” 

“What do you take me for, a five year old?” Chameleon hissed angrily, glaring up at Hyunjin. “You’re just going to have to look for her.” 

“Thought you might say that,” Hyunjin sighed dramatically before shooting a web at Chameleon, catching him off guard since he’d been distracted. He struggled but before he could break free, he was hit with another web, and then another, and another and another until he was trapped to the wall behind him, Hyunjin only centimeters away from him. “Now tell me… where is she?” 

You were crying again, completely frustrated and worn out from screaming for help. Though you’d tried to coax the rat over to where you were bound, it was no use. You didn’t have anything it wanted so it scurried past almost as quickly as it had appeared. Now you were sitting, head hung low as you finally allowed your tears of frustration to fall. 

“Hyunjin, where are you?” You whispered into the damp air of the sewer, head still hung as you fell limp against your restraints. 

You weren’t sure how long you sat like that. Your head was pounding, you were shivering from the cold air blowing through the tunnels, and you felt more and more nauseous the longer you sat there in the stinking waters. You tried not to think about how you would die a slow death of starvation. It only made it harder to breathe. 

A sound, however, pulled you out of your misery. The faint scrape of a manhole cover being moved. A splash, a thwip, footsteps running. You sat up straighter, using the last of your strength to call out again, “Help me!” 

You fell quiet again, listening as the footsteps got closer. You could jump for joy if you weren’t tied to a rickety, wooden chair. Your eyes filled with relieved tears when a man, clad in red and blue, came running around the curve of the tunnel. But you hesitated. 

“Wait.” 

He stopped, tugging his mask off, “What is it?” 

“How do I know you’re really… you.” 

“God, yn,” he scoffed, smirking at you playfully. “I come to save your life and you want me to prove it’s me?”

You shrugged, “That guy could change bodies at will. How can I be sure you’re not him? Tell me something only you would know. Something he wouldn’t be able to look up about either of us online.” 

“You’re the only person who’s ever called me Hyunnie.” He took a step closer to you, then another. “I made you cry once because I started self-studying quantum physics. I got a 62% on our last exam before the professor let me retake it. I—”

“Okay, okay, come untie me now.” 

You looked away from him, tears finally falling over your cheeks once more. He was quick to crouch in front of you, untying your feet first and then moving behind you to get your hands. His voice was soft when he spoke to you, helping you out of the chair. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“Yeah,” you punched him lightly in the shoulder, sniffling and clinging onto him, scared he would be gone if you let go. “What took you so long, asshole?” 

“Had to get the bad guy first. Didn’t want him to come after you again.” Hyunjin kissed the top of your head, wrapping his own arms around you. He felt like he could finally breathe again, knowing you were safe in his arms. 

“Hyunjin,” you murmured, not moving away from him, “I don’t want to go home tonight.” 

He snorted and looked down at you, “What, you want to stay the night here in the sewer?” 

“No,” you pouted up at him. 

“Then where do you want to go?” 

“With you.” 

He looked at you only a second longer before leaning in and pressing his lips to yours. Your lips were salty from tears and a little chapped, but kissing you was just as wonderful as it had been every other time. He tasted a little bit like medicine and toothpaste, you noted, and though it wasn’t a great combination, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You didn’t really care about anything when Hyunjin was kissing you. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered when you pulled away. “For being so angry and unreasonable. I talked to Yeji about it and she… kind of knocked some sense into me. I understand why you didn’t tell me and honestly… I would’ve done the same thing if I was in your position.” 

“Hey, no,” he held your face in his hands, looking at you so tenderly. “I shouldn’t have kept it from you for so long. It’s hard to trust people when you’re doing work like this, but that’s not an excuse—”

“No, it’s totally valid, so I’m—”

“Stop talking,” he mumbled, kissing you again. 

You laughed when he pulled away. “We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?” 

“Yeah,” he agreed, laughing as well. “Never would have thought I’d be kissing my rival in a sewer.” 

“Fuck, I kind of forgot where we were. Please get me out of here.” 

He nodded and held you close to him as he guided you to the manhole where he’d come in. He helped you up and then tugged his mask on and climbed up himself, taking a deep breath once he was out. The air wasn’t necessarily fresher, but it was less stagnant—it didn’t cling to you as much. And as polluted as it was, it certainly smelled better than the air in the sewer had. 

You turned around and hugged Hyunjin tightly once more as he used his webbing to swing the two of you back to his apartment. You felt exhausted, dehydrated, and emotional after everything that had happened, but still, you felt happy. You hadn’t realized just how much you’d really missed him until he was right in front of you, talking to you again. 

When Hyunjin set you down on the fire escape outside of his bedroom window, you felt another rush of relief surge through you. You were safe, really and truly safe. Hyunjin shoved the window up and climbed in, watching as you climbed in too. You looked over at his desk, noticing a bright yellow sticky note stuck to the middle of the wooden top. 

“It’s a note from Jisung,” Hyunjin muttered, picking it up and reading it, dragging his fingers through his hair. “He went back to his apartment so that we could talk. I’m going to change really quickly, but I’ll be right back.” 

You nodded, sitting down on his bed as he ran into his bathroom to change. You felt a shiver make its way down your spine as you remembered what had happened the last time you’d been in his bed. You didn’t have much time alone with your thoughts because Hyunjin, true to his word, changed quickly. He sat down on his bed beside you, not as close to you as you would have liked. He was still trying to give you space. It made your heart pound painfully in your chest. 

He was so good and you’d never even known it, too blinded by the stupid rivalry you’d struck up to give him a chance. If you’d tried being nice back, would things have been different? You liked to think that maybe they would have been. 

“I miss you,” you finally said, voice soft. 

You played absentmindedly with your fingers, not wanting to look at him in case he didn’t feel the same as you did. But he didn’t laugh at you or yell at you, he just scooted closer to you on the bed, wrapped his arms around you, and then pulled you down to lay beside him. “I miss you too.” 

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch to you the past few years.” 

“Don’t be sorry,” he shook his head, “It was kind of fair considering I was a complete asshole.” 

“Would you maybe… want to go on a date with me?” You chewed on your bottom lip, heart beating out of your chest as you asked him. 

“Yeah,” he breathed out, pressing a gentle kiss to the crook of your neck. “I’d really really like that.” 

“For now, can you kiss me?” 

You rolled over so you were facing him and he let out a shuddering breath as you leaned closer to him. “Fuck, yeah.” 

He kissed you, holding you as close to him as was humanly possible. You hadn’t felt so happy, so right, since the last time you were together—the night you realized he was Spider-Man. 

If someone had told you back in high school that you would end up in Hwang Hyunjin’s bed, kissing him and asking him to go on a date with you, you would have laughed in their face. If someone had told you that Hyunjin was Spider-Man you would have laughed even harder. If someone had told you that Hyunjin was actually really sweet, thoughtful, funny, and kind you would have keeled over on the floor then and there. 

“Kind of crazy that we ended up together.” You mused out loud, pulling away from Hyunjin and opting instead to run your fingers through his hair and smile fondly at him. 

He shrugged, grinning at you as he traced a finger over your jaw. “I don’t know, I kind of always saw it coming.” 

“What do you mean?”

“I started the stupid rivalry thing because I had a major crush on you. I just wanted to impress you. But you could dish it right back, so over time, I sort of lost sight of the whole reason I initially started the rivalry. Then it turned into who could be more of a jerk and I never was one to give up so easily so… It was always me who was the bigger asshole. Somewhere in the back of my mind though, I always had a crush on you.” 

“Hwang Hyunjin,” you chastised playfully, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before laughing again, “you are the biggest idiot I have ever met.” 

“Yeah, but you like it,” he gave you a dopey smile, loving the sound of your laugh more than he ever had before. 

“Yeah,” you mumbled, snuggling into his chest and sighing happily, “I do.” 

Hyunjin held you for a moment longer before he sighed and pushed you away dramatically. “Okay, can you go shower now or something since we’ve made up? You still reek of sewer.” 

“Hyunnie,” you whined, “don’t wanna go.” 

“What if I shower with you?” 

Your eyes lit up at that and you sat up immediately. “What are you waiting for? Let’s go!”

He rolled his eyes. You were absolutely ridiculous. But he loved it. And you wouldn’t hear him say it for a while, but he also loved you.

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Explicit warnings: voyeurism and masturbation (m, f). Cum eating (m, f) Mentions of semi-public sex, graphic mentions of sex magick & the use of sex for occult purposes (sex rituals). Open discussions about sexual themes that elicit arousal for MC.

On Wednesday, you woke up to a bright, sunny sky. A spring day that was cosplaying as summer, with the breeze carrying all sorts of scents—grass, flowers, herbs, and the now familiar smell of the breakfasts served at Parker’s. That morning, you made your coffee and waved at Ali and Michelle from your front porch when they went past your house. You were on your laptop answering emails. Far down toward the empty lot and the pond, a small group of wild rabbits was hopping around, minding their rabbit business. You watched them and their fluffy brown and white fur in between emails. 

After your shower, you put on casual clothes and went on a little walk in your backyard. It was rather large, and you hadn’t explored it and its perimeter properly. And, truth be told, the far end, bordered by the tree line leading into the woods, had been on your mind since the other night. The nightmare. The wet dream, a voice added in your head but you quickly dismissed it. 

But by studying the area, you noticed there was a trail past the initial tree lines. You couldn’t see where it went or where it ended from here, but it got you curious. 

You grabbed your purse and headed outside. The walk from your house to Main St was relatively short, but you’d need to find a car soon, especially if you wanted to do some shopping in the nearby towns. But Meg had said she’d help when you had gone to Parker’s for lunch the other day, and you believed her. She seemed to know everybody in town so she was bound to find something. 

You knew where you were headed but you still made a few stops along the way—you quickly went in and out at the Lee’s to say hi to Felix. In exchange, he gave you a couple sticks of garlic bread. You also stopped by the post office where Ali spilled some lukewarm tea about one of her coworkers who she suspected was having an affair with someone from the bakery next door. 

And then you reached your destination—Bahng’s Sporting Center. It was sort of early and yet there were several cars in the parking lot already. Still, it was Chris himself who welcomed you into the store, as warmly as he would welcome a close friend. He gave you a quick tour of the place. By the interactions he had with clients and employees alike, you decided he was probably the best boss anyone could have. He was kind and helpful and very laid-back, insisting that the elderly man behind the cash register take an extra break right this second. 

“What can I do for you today, friend?” Chris asked at the end of the tour—you stood with him among the pool accessories and supplies. “Or did you just miss me?” He gave you a playful wink. 

“There’s a trail behind my house,” you started. “I remember you said the woods lead to Elkwater Springs…? Is it hike-appropriate?” 

“Oh, absolutely it is!” Chris seemed delighted and immediately led you to a different section of the store. “Some parts of the trail might not be as cleared out as others but it’s pretty straightforward. You really can’t get lost and if you do, you’ll either end up at the main lake or at the back of the hardware store.” 

 You tried to picture the map of Heron Lake in your head as best as your memory could. You figured that if you did end up too far away from home to return either by the forest or the road, you could always give Felix a call and see if he had a pizza to deliver around there. 

“I’ll need shoes then,” you decided. You still didn’t know why it had to be today, but you just needed to go explore this forest for some reason. “All I have is some old sneakers, or heels…” 

“Gotcha.” Chris immediately showed you a specific pair on a shelf nearby, his dimpled smile illuminating the room as if selling you a pair of shoes was his dream come true. “Those are some of the best mountain boots I have. They’re light but also waterproof—convenient as we sometimes get sudden rainfalls and all. They’re super secure around the ankle but flexible enough for good movement. Also, they’re on sale. What’s your size?”

You studied the boxes in front of you and motioned toward the ones of the right size. “There doesn’t seem to be a sale announced,” you noted, suppressing a smile.

“Well, I own the store, so I must know better than you.” Chris winked at you. “The sale is for women who got my wife drunk on bellinis last week specifically. No one else is eligible.”

You laughed with Christopher as he helped you around the store. The hiking boots were a perfect fit, but he also suggested that you get a decent water bottle and a hat as well as some insect repellent. “For ticks,” he specified. He also mentioned that SPF might be a good idea but that tree coverage was excessive in that part of the forest, and you shouldn’t be burning under the sun. 

After you paid, Chris mentioned he had a few errands to run and offered you a ride. You weren’t sure the errands in question were anywhere near your house but you accepted anyway. Sometimes, people just wanted to be kind to each other. It was difficult to accept, though, and you’d need to work on that.

For some reason, it felt like Chris and Renee had been put on your path for that exactly. As in—Chris was begging you to please let him give you a ride home; you can’t just carry all that stuff on the street anyway, can you? And he looked like he meant it. 

Sometimes, people were meant to carry our burdens, big or small. That was probably one of the hardest things to accept in life. 

On the way home, you also let Christopher give you advice on the particular terrain in the area behind your house. You’d have to be careful where you set foot because sometimes the rocks could be slippery. You wouldn’t have great cell reception all the way, but it would be decent for most of it.

“Don’t get hurt,” Chris finally said as you closed the car door behind you. “My wife will kill me if you can’t make it to soccer tomorrow because I sold you stuff to go on a hike.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t go too far since it’s the first time.” But that turned out to be a lie. 

You filled your backpack with essentials and changed into more appropriate clothing before heading to the trail. It was already past noon when you went past the tree line—oaks and birches and larches, a few bushes with flowers on them that you didn’t recognize. You had used a Plant ID app for the trees but would need to do the same with the bushes to figure out if the berries they would grow would be edible at all. If you weren’t sure, Chris would know though. And since he seemed inclined on keeping you alive…

Entering the forest felt like entering a new dimension. Your house was some distance away from the center of town but sounds of human life still made it to you sometimes. Cars, a fire truck, voices. 

But not here. You could swear you had gone through a portal. It took your eyes a few seconds to adjust to the new lighting. Chris hadn’t lied about that tree coverage. The air was cool here and smelled like earth, like leafage, with faint sweet undertones of flowers. 

Trees bordered the trail on either side of it. Trees of all kinds, too many to ID them all. That day, you realized that green was too simple of a word to describe the variety of shades filed under it. The soft green of the grass, the harsh green of firs, the peculiar green of the moss growing on bark. Bushes of all shapes and colors, mushrooms you wouldn’t even dare touch, flowers that were too impatient to wait for summer and preferred to bloom in the spring. 

Dragonflies, butterflies, bees buzzing all around, moving from one flower to another to harvest the pollen. Bumblebees so heavy with it that they struggled to stay in the air. 

Animals. More rabbits, some squirrels. Birds. So many of them. Birdsongs that you could only faintly hear before were now crystal clear. Whistles and warblings and other intricate notes. You recorded it all on your phone, both amazed and curious. You were almost sure that if you replayed that footage to one of the locals, they’d be able to put a name on every single song on it. Not that it mattered, not really. You just couldn’t help but want to learn their names. You had never heard as many birds as that.

The trail itself was covered in pine needles. It made your footsteps quiet and comfortable, but you now understood why Chris had been so adamant on you making sure not to slip and hurt yourself. You walked slowly at first, looking all around you, at the soft rays of light filtering through the tree branches and insects zooming through them. 

You walked. You may have been one of those darn city slickers, but it also made you a great walker. You didn’t particularly like public transit and you enjoyed nice weather—the perfect combination for people who liked to walk. It was a nice walk, too. With valleys and clearings. Sometimes, the trail took you back to a little creek that ran along it, and you liked to squat to look into it, or to let the water run through your fingers. You laughed when you saw tadpoles, but you weren’t afraid to be called crazy. Not here. Not just in Heron Lake—here exactly. There was fucking nobody here to witness your bewilderment. It made you feel like you were alone in the world, which was a strange thought: both comforting and frightening. 

The creek eventually became larger and larger, and you knew you must be getting near Elkwater Springs somehow. You thought you could hear a waterfall in the distance, but it could have been the wind or something else. 

It was at that point that the trail forked for the first time. It had been pretty straightforward until then, curving and bending through the forest alongside the creek, even crossing it at one point on a small but sturdy wood and stone bridge.

You drank some of your water as you watched the two options before you. It was clear that the path on the left was the one you were supposed to take—it was more defined, cleaner. The other one had small trees growing on some parts of it and did not look that inviting. You figured that since it was your first time here, you should stay on the main trail, for safety. Maybe some other time, Felix, Renee or Chris would come along and you’d try the other one. 

You had done the right call—that trail took you straight to the Elkwater Springs area. 

The path went down a steep hill as, on your left, the waterfall plunged into the river that became a lake. There were people there—a few kayaks on the lake and some people sitting on large rocks by the waterfall. You felt like doing that too, because even if it was a small waterfall, it was still pretty and you liked the sound of it. You could feel the power in it, too, somehow, but you couldn’t understand how, or why it mattered at all. 

You sat in the shade of a solitary larch tree. You had a nice view of everything and yet felt like you weren’t in the way of anyone. You did, however, enjoy watching them, too. Most of them seemed to be tourists. Families or couples or groups of friends. Everybody seemed happy.

You snapped a few pictures. The waterfall, the lake. As you snacked on your granola bar, you suddenly became aware that these photos would be forever yours. You couldn’t think of a single person to whom you could send these. Nobody who would care anyway. Nobody back home cared. Everyone here had been here dozens of times. 

There were many ways to be alone. You had felt very alone when you had caught your ex fucking your boss. You had felt very alone years and years before that when none of your friends had come to your birthday party. When you were eight. Such a young age to know the bitter taste of solitude.

But it had tasted just the same as it did today. A moment so pure, so beautiful, a moment that should be shared but that would forever be yours and yours only. What a sad, tragic thing. 

Using your backpack as a makeshift pillow, you laid down on the soft grass. To rest. To look at the sky and the tree branches and the birds. You didn’t mean to fall asleep, but you did. A light sleep, but you dreamt nonetheless. 

You dreamt that you were in the forest and that somebody was calling your name. A voice like honey, soft and kind and beautiful, just calling you, over and over. You were not afraid.

You jerked awake anyway—the hike must have made you more tired than you thought it would, because when you woke up, the light had shifted completely and most tourists were gone from the area, with just a few people scattered here and there. It looked like the sun was about to go down, so you quickly grabbed your things and started your way back.

You walked quickly, scared that you wouldn’t make it in time before sundown. Chris had made sure you left his store with a powerful dynamo flashlight but you still didn’t want to risk it. You often checked your phone to make sure you still had signal in case you did get lost—not that you would, or could, get lost, because the trail was literally just one trail, one path, covered with pine needles always. There was just one trail. 

Except not.

You didn’t get lost—soon enough though, you realized that by focusing too much on your phone, you had taken a different path, the one from earlier that was less visible. You stopped in your tracks, looking all around you to try and see if you could maybe cross the trees to make it to the real trail. 

It became obvious you were in the dip of a soft valley. You could cross the trees but they looked thick, and you were scared you’d somehow make your situation worse by doing that. You could also walk back in your tracks until you found the other trail. And yet, your gaze returned, over and over, to the slope on the other side. A simple climb would take you to the higher point of the valley.

You had no reason to do that. Sure, perhaps you’d get a good vantage point up there. It was still a far worse idea than just turning back, but you felt compelled to go anyway.

As if something, or someone, was calling you. 

The terrain was different here. It was still part of the forest, but it was a large clearing with very few trees that grew except for those surrounding the building.

A house, it seemed like. The sort of house that had more windows than walls, and a modern yet rustic look to it. The size of it was impressive—it was several yards away from you and yet it left you speechless. It looked like it had been something else before it had been transformed into a home, maybe some kind of tourist attraction.

A small rocky path connected the house to the forest, where it continued. There was a car parked at the end of it by the house—a modest but clean Subaru Outback. By all accounts, if there was a car, there must be an actual road nearby, which relieved you. Maybe there had been a good reason why you felt like you ought to climb up here.

But it didn’t matter, not for now. The house fascinated you. Its tall windows, some of them with curtains but most, not. The interior of the house was intricately decorated—rich woods and earth tones. Sage green, whites, yellows. Plants all over the place. Obviously, the owner of the house was very outdoorsy—there was a large fenced area behind the house that could only be some sort of garden. A large willow tree hid it from your view, and vines grew along the fence, offering good privacy. It looked like there were more plants out there, and even furniture. But you weren’t going to snoop around, were you? 

You hid behind one of the trees while you tried to recreate a map of the town to figure out on which road this rocky path would lead. You could be crazy, but it might actually be not too far from Chris and Renee’s place. Were you willing to risk that? Maybe you should try to just have a look… See if you recognized anything… 

You stayed behind the trees. The presence of the car in the driveway let you know that someone was most likely in the house and you didn’t feel like being mistaken for a robber. You chose to go around behind the house instead of in front of it, but before you could make it there, something caught your attention, making you stop right then and there.

As soon as you turned the first corner of the large house, you came face to face with more large windows. The kitchen on the first floor, although most of it was obstructed by the garden and the fence. You could hear water, too—a fountain most likely. 

There was light in one of the windows upstairs. Normally, you would have stared for 0.2 seconds before moving on—after all, sundown was imminent—but not this time. What you saw demanded your attention. What you saw effectively changed you, forever. You knew you shouldn’t be seeing this. You knew you should certainly not be watching, but you couldn’t look away. 

Crimson hair, a bare chest. A room that could have been a bedroom, it was hard to tell from down here. The man was sitting in a strange position on a couch. There were candles on shelves all around him, burning bright but not as bright as him. Hyunjin.

Everything clicked into place. Only him would live in a place such as this.

Only him would be fervently masturbating, surrounded by candles and herbs and other things you simply couldn’t see because you couldn’t look away from him. You watched as Hyunjin’s back arched into the couch, as he fucked his palm languidly. His cock was long and smooth and he not once let go of it. His mouth was wide open. You tried to listen but you couldn’t hear anything. You knew that he must have been crying out. His eyes were closed and his face was twisted with pain and pleasure alike. 

Look away. But you couldn’t. You had never seen anything like this. You had never seen anyone like this. Hyunjin’s body was lean and toned, moving gracefully as he fucked his hand. He looked strong. His red hair was sticking to the sweat on his forehead. His cheeks were flushed. 

He wasn’t just jerking off. The more you looked, the more evident it became that he was making love to his hand, to himself, or something that seemed like it. He thrust into his own palm exactly like he would into a lover. Into you. His strong thighs supported most of his weight, helping the rolls of his hips, his cock was hard and twitching and as beautiful as him.

Keep looking. Look at me. Don’t take your eyes off me. You could hear Hyunjin’s voice haunting your head. You knew it was only the most perverted parts of your brain begging to indulge, but it worked. Look at the way I fuck. This could be you. This should be you. Come to me, darling. I’ll make you feel so good. 

You did not avert your eyes. There was pressure growing between your legs. Wetness, too. All of a sudden you felt so empty. Your mind, your cunt, your heart.

He was close. It was obvious—even from here, you could make out the dark flush of his cock. For all you knew, he could have been at it for a while, edging himself for hours. 

Hyunjin came and you heard him despite the soundproof windows. You heard him in your head, imagining his pretty moans and whimpers as he tensed up and pulsed into his hand. He came all over the floor and himself, head fallen behind, legs wide open. You felt the exact same emotion, the same force, as you had when you had witnessed the waterfall earlier. Something that could not be explained. 

You tasted the salt of his cum when Hyunjin let go of his cock to wipe it off his stomach and he put his fingers in his mouth, sucking them clean, which you had never seen a guy do before. It was lewd, sensual, it felt like an act of rebellion, like something sacred. You thought of the pink of his tongue laced with the off-white of his cum. You thought of his voice and his lips and his softening cock and the amber-colored light that filled the room. You wanted it to fill you too. If people’s souls had colors, Hyunjin’s was like that. Amber, soft, pretty, warm. 

Wait, come back. But you had already turned back, practically throwing yourself down the slope to put as much distance between you and the strange house as you could. Between you and the man with the crimson hair. As you quite literally ran down, you could swear you saw four gardenias growing on the slope, among the pine needles and grass and wild raspberry bushes. But it couldn’t be. Hyunjin had effectively rendered you crazy—crazy enough that you ought to tell someone to take you to a hospital, but you wouldn’t need to beg anybody if you just told them you heard his voice in your mind and tasted his cum on your tongue.

He was still moaning in your head, and calling your name, and fucking you, his crimson hair blinding you. To love and to be loved. 

It took you no time to find the trail again, but you were tired, your legs weary and your pussy wet. The sun was almost completely gone when you finally reached your backyard again and your phone rang. Felix’s name was on the screen but you didn’t pick up the call. You were covered in sweat and pine needles and god-knows-what, but as soon as you entered your house, you pulled your pants down, then your panties. They hung around your knees as you finally pressed your fingers against your pussy.

You were wet. Sensitive. Not any different than if Hyunjin had been fucking you himself. You wasted no time rubbing your clit then shoving your fingers into your throbbing hole. But it wasn’t enough. You fell on your knees, seeking friction, now effectively fucking your fingers against the floor, moaning in the crook of your elbow.

One minute and seventeen seconds—the time it took your orgasm to rise within you like a storm over a dusky sky. There was a puddle of your slick on the floor beneath you where you had been grinding on the floor. Your hole pulsed around your fingers, sending waves of pleasure throughout your whole body. The living room was dark, no amber-colored light—it was your moans that filled the room. You came to the thought of Hyunjin’s hand around your neck as he sprayed his cum into your sloppy cunt.

You did not dream again that night because you barely got any sleep.

You were going to be late for soccer.

You were busy Thursday morning—two online meetings and then another meeting over the phone, the three of them new clients. It meant three new files and a lot of getting to know each other. You were looking forward to working with these companies, but you had underestimated the time it would take to fill every form. You also hadn’t expected having to complete all of this work with so few hours of sleep.

But at least it kept you distracted. At least your mind was on something other than the house in the forest, the house overlooking the valley, the house with the interior basking in amber-colored light. The man with the crimson hair and the intricate rolls of his hips, reminiscent of waves or a shooting star. His large hand squeezing his cock, his lips closing around his fingers, sucking his cum off himself. 

And then your mother called. She had no purpose for the call, she said. She just missed you. You missed her too, so you talked to her. An hour, then another. By the time you hung up, your phone battery was empty and you hadn’t eaten anything all day. You made some food—a plate of turkey sliders with pasta salad and a large glass of iced tea. It was all normal. You should feel normal, but you didn’t.

Something had changed inside of you but not like someone changed their hair color or painted the walls of their living room—you had changed the same way seasons changed. You had changed the way winter melts into spring, shyly at first, and then all of a sudden. No turning back. There were buds sprouting within you, there were white gardenias blooming, their stem firmly planted into your chest, expanding, their sweet, creamy scent enveloping you.

You showered and, lulled by the hot water, you fell asleep on your couch, only to wake up way past dinner time. 

You were almost late for soccer. 

You weren’t sure you wanted to go at all. How could you ever look Hyunijn in the eyes again? It had been wrong, so wrong to just… stay there and watch him. There was a little voice inside your head telling you that he hadn’t exactly been hiding either—he had been lustfully masturbating, fully naked, right by a large fucking window. Maybe he was into that. Maybe he was into exhibitionism. Because if he didn’t want to be seen, he’d at least draw the curtains closed, right?

You sat by the large window in your bedroom too, your eyes glued to the space where, behind the trees, was the trail leading to Elkwater Springs. To Hyunjin. Your phone vibrated a couple of times. You weren’t a psychic, or a witch, but you knew exactly what you’d see once you picked it up.

Renee : Girl are you coming or not? 

Renee: I can come pick you up right now, they can start without me 

You put your phone back—you didn’t know what to tell her. You had been accustomed to saying the truth as often as possible, but this time would have to be an exception. You needed to get over it. You were an adult. You watched porn and enjoyed it. Hyunjin was not the first man you had seen masturbating. You liked to watch girls, too. Regular guy-fucks-girl porn did very little for you and you had always been more into solo stuff. 

Maybe that was why the whole situation troubled you so much—because yesterday’s scene scratched a very particular itch for you. It had nothing to do with Hyunjin himself, this was all basically muscle memory. Your brain was used to becoming aroused by watching things like that. End of the story. 

Your phone vibrated again.

Renee: nevermind I’m literally in my car right now on my way to you

You: it’s not safe! Don’t text and drive! 

Renee: okay maybe I exaggerated and I haven’t started the car yet. Are you okay? Do you not want to come to soccer anymore? 

You sighed, watching the trees sway with the soft breeze. 

You: I accidentally took a longer nap than expected. Just running late. You don’t have to pick me up

Renee: be there in 5

It left you five minutes to find a soccer-appropriate outfit. You had no intention of actually playing the game, but you didn’t want to look too out of place either. You decided on a pair of comfortable shorts and a black t-shirt with a sunflower print on it. You wore a sports tank top underneath, just in case Chris would pick you up and throw you onto the soccer field, forcing you to play. 

You had bought some grapefruit beer to bring along, so you grabbed that before joining Renee when her car pulled up in your driveway. She was also sporting the shorts-and-tank-top look, and her hair was held in a ponytail. She nodded eagerly when she saw the beer you were holding. “Love that shit,” she commented as she backed up and returned to the road. She was driving Chris’ car today, so a chill R&B beat was playing on the speakers and there were four or five black hoodies at the back of the car. 

“Sorry I’m late,” you said. You almost added, I wasn’t sure I’d go at all but stopped at the last second. If you said that, you’d need to give her a reason why and you didn’t feel like making one up. “I didn’t sleep too well last night.”

“Don’t worry, we got full teams today, don’t feel forced to play.” Renee was tapping the wheel to the rhythm of the song and humming it under her breath when she wasn’t speaking. “I mean, you’re never forced to play, but… you know?”

You laughed. “Yeah, I know.” You liked that about Renee—neither of you owed long and detailed explanations to the other about certain things. She knew exactly how you were feeling. Or well… she knew most of it, anyway.

“Had a good hike?” she inquired, raising an eyebrow. “Chris told me you went to the store yesterday.” 

You gulped, playing with the fabric of your shirt, looking at the scenery out the window. You were probably three minutes away from the high school now. “Yeah, it was nice.” You paused, choosing your next words carefully. “I went all the way to Elkwater Springs and back. It’s beautiful.” 

“It is beautiful,” Renee commented. Maybe she was sensing something was off about you but she didn’t push it. “Didn’t get lost?”

You shook your head, now staring at her fingers on the wheel. “Not really. Stayed on the main trail.” 

There was a pause, short, but a little tense yet playful. “You know, if you take the other trail, then up the valley, you get to Hyunjin’s house.” 

You paused, too. For a long time. You were pulling up to the high school when you spoke again. “I did go up the valley. I saw his house,” you admitted finally. “It’s big.” So is his cock. 

There was a smile on Renee’s face, one that you could hear through her voice despite not looking at her directly. “It used to be some sort of wellness retreat center some time ago. It was closed for years, and then we learned that someone had bought the building and the surrounding land to fix everything up and live in it.”

You nodded. “It’s a big house,” you said again, but this time you actually meant it. You hadn’t even thought about it yesterday—your mind was too busy on the events happening inside to focus on anything else. “He has a lot of money, looks like.” He hadn’t even let you pay him for the tarot reading. He had poured you several shots of very expensive bourbon. “A lot a lot. What’s his job? Like, his actual job, I mean?” You refused to believe that he was living off late-night tarot readings at Parker’s.

Renee parked the car and turned off the engine before she spoke again. “He doesn’t have one, not really.” She exited the vehicle and you followed her after grabbing your beers—but she had all of your attention. The sun was warm on your skin. “You’ll see him sometimes helping out at Parker’s when he’s bored, or sometimes he hangs around the store with Chris. He’ll go help Felix and his dad when they’re overwhelmed with deliveries. He’ll go bake a few batches of muffins at the bakery. But he’ll never accept cash for it. He’ll take a leftover pizza if Mr. Lee gives him one. He’ll let Chris invite him out for dinner or beers. But never actual money, and the same goes for his… talent.”

If you had been curious before, you were downright fascinated now. You walked with Renee around the school, but she made a point to walk slowly—she wanted to tell you these things. Or she wanted you to know them, you weren’t sure. And you weren’t sure why, but you needed to know. Hell, if Hyunjin had a biography out, you’d order a copy and spend all night reading it. 

“He wouldn’t let me pay him,” you revealed, kicking a rock on your way. The parking lot was large, too large for the school, it seemed. But the area was surrounded by forests and hills, and you could see the mountains from here. There were birds singing and insects clicking. You recognized the Subaru in the handful of cars parked at the front of the school. 

“He has money. Enough money. He doesn’t need a job. He doesn’t need people to pay him when they go for a consult.” You had reached the end of the main building, revealing the large stretch of green grass in between the school and the forest. There were a few areas for the students to hang out, a race track and, at the far back, a soccer field. Music was playing from a wireless speaker. You saw the small group already kicking a ball for fun. There was a tall man with crimson hair. “His money comes from a legal settlement, but I don’t know what was the settlement, nobody does,” Renee added with a shrug. “Apparently, it’s medical-related, but we don’t know for sure.” 

You nodded. You were both walking a bit faster now. “Renee, is he an actual witch? Does he actually have powers?” Above all, this was what was on your mind the most. 

Renee stopped in the middle of the track field. From here, you could see the scene a little better. Chris was talking and laughing with Felix and another man you didn’t know, but his outfit and general style hinted that he might be the P.E. teacher with special permissions, allowing the soccer group to reunite every week here. You were pleased to see that Ali and Michelle were here too, but only Michelle was dressed in sports clothes. Meg and her boyfriend were there, Felix’s sister and two women you didn’t know. 

There were more people, too, but not too much. You were intimidated but relieved to see a few familiar faces. Ali was comfortably sitting on the bench with Bruce—you already knew that was where you were headed right this second. You’d probably hear more about the affair between the postal worker and the bakery employee. 

Renee nodded slowly. “Look. I don’t know what I believe in. Or I don’t believe in.” She shrugged. “There’s something about him. He offered me a reading maybe a month after he moved in. His hair was black back then. I had never seen anyone like that.” She giggled softly. “I mean, he is excessively beautiful, isn’t he?” 

You couldn’t deny it. “He doesn’t look real.”

“Chris says that too!” You laughed with Renee at that, and she went on. “Anyway. He just asked me if he could read my cards. Sure, why not? I was outside, at the park by Hawthorn Road, reading a book. He sat down with me on the grass and we started.” Renee’s voice became quiet all of a sudden, like she was choking a little. “He told me that my mom’s energy followed me everywhere. How could he have known? That my mother is dead? The cards were pretty straightforward. My past was a little dark and my present was wobbly. At that time, I didn’t like that I didn’t have a goal. The card for my future reading was Justice. He told me I ought to do what was right for me. That after I had become just and aligned to my truth, I would feel better.” Renee paused again and you gave her space, not really looking toward her. “I was really depressed back then, I thought I was useless. I started taking fewer translation contracts. I started writing more. One day, I called Chris—we were just friends back then but I had a crush on him, I just didn’t think I was worthy of him—because I needed to ask him a few questions for the novel I was working on. He ended up coming to my place and he read some of the book. He loved it. He kissed me that day. We got married a year later. Hyunjin officiated.” 

To love and to be loved. Not exactly the same thing, but not completely different either. In Renee’s case, it had been obvious she needed to give herself enough love and time to accomplish her creative goals, which had perhaps unlocked something in her heart, too. 

Renee seemed to understand your pensive expression. She lifted her chin toward you. “What was yours? Your main card, I mean?” 

You thought about the gardenias you had believed were growing near Hyunjin’s house. How they could only be a hallucination. Or a memory. “Four of Wands.”

Renee frowned. “I don’t know what this one means.”

You weren’t sure you should tell anyone about this—but if you were going to tell someone, it would be Renee. Especially after she had told you this whole story about her card. “He told me this card only appeared to people in the process of falling in love. He also said that even though I didn’t think I was ready, I actually was.”

“Ready for what?”

“To love. And to be loved.” It felt strange to speak those words out loud. Strange, but not bad. They tasted like honeyed bourbon, warm and sweet and exhilarating. 

Renee’s eyebrows disappeared behind her bangs. “Girl! Who you’re in love with like that?” 

You shook your head. “No. He specifically said the card appeared to people who were falling in love, not already in love. Apparently it’s not the same.” You took a deep breath. “It’s why I was asking if you thought he had actual powers, though. Because I’m not falling in love with anybody. And I certainly am not ready to, anyway. I had grieved the whole ‘relationship’ thing after my ex.” 

“Did you love him? Your ex?” You had almost reached the soccer field. You could hear Chris enthusiastic voice from here. “Do you remember what it felt when you fell in love with him?”

You thought about it. Really thought about it. The sight of a smile on people’s faces was too much at that moment—you looked down to watch the blades of grass instead, but not before a streak of crimson caught your eye momentarily. “I don’t know if I was in love with him. I don’t know why I stayed with him. I don’t understand why. When I think about my relationship, it feels like I was playing a role because I thought that was right. I don’t think he loved me. I resented him a lot for that. But I don’t think I loved him either. I was just better at pretending I did—at convincing myself I did.” 

Renee patted your back gently. “Then how would you know that you’re not falling in love if you don’t know what it feels like?” 

She went past the gate to join the others before you could give her an answer. 

It was Chris who introduced you to everybody. The P.E teacher, Changbin. He spoke to you for about one minute, but his speech was so fast that he might as well have given you his whole entire biography in that short span of time. Still, he spoke with a poised voice, and his smile was pleasant. 

There was also two men around your age—one with blue eyes and dusty blond hair and the other with dark, shaved hair and also blue eyes. The difference between the shades of blues were, in that order, a bright sunny day and a stormy afternoon. They were Adam and Ronan, and by the way Adam slapped Ronan’s ass for no apparent reason—and the way Ronan responded to that by giving Adam a shy kiss on the corner of his lips, you understood they were a couple. Apparently, Ronan was Chris’ tattoo artist and Adam owned the town’s car repair shop. 

You met Meg’s boyfriend, Minho. The first impression he left on you was that he was a quiet guy, but polite and nice. And then ten seconds later, when Chris asked him a very simple question, he pretended he did not speak the language. Minho started talking louder and louder, all made-up gibberish words, until Chris tackled him into the grass to make him stop. The quiet guy illusion disappeared very quickly when he turned out to be the loudest of them all. 

You had seen Felix’s sister on a few occasions so she asked about your work and you asked her about the concert she had mentioned she would attend last weekend in another city. She seemed to have had a good time. Her friends were sweet too and complimented your shirt, so you nervously admitted you loved their outfits too. 

“Fantastic Four.” A soccer ball rolled gently toward you until it stopped right by your shoe. You looked in the direction where it had come from, only to see Hyunjin standing a few feet away from you, a bottle of water in one hand, the other resting on his waist. He was a little out of breath. “Happy to see you made it. Renee said you’d come.”

You blinked, trying to take it in all at once. Fantastic Four—it didn’t take you too long to understand he was referring to the card from your reading. 

Hyunjin was wearing comfortable black shorts and a white t-shirt. His hair was a bit of a mess because he obviously had been running around practicing just earlier but the sun was hitting it just right, making it look like stained glass, like a strawberry lollipop melting under the light. Despite the very normal appearance of his outfit, you couldn’t help but feel like there was something magical about this man. The tattoos helped, but it was more than that. He had a glimmer in his eyes and he was smiling, but it was restrained. Like there was something behind that, something darker, as if he was standing at the edge of a cliff and he was afraid of heights. As if he was keeping his happiness on a leash. 

You kicked the ball toward him and he caught it under his foot. “I came to watch,” you told him, trying very hard to ignore Renee’s intense gaze on you as she was obviously snooping around your conversation with Hyunjin. “Looks like you play a lot, though.” 

“I was on a team for a few years.” Hyunjin nudged the ball again and it returned to you. “In school,” he clarified. Around the two of you, people were about to separate the group into two teams. “Some people are coming to my place after. I’m making pizza. You’re welcome to join.” Hyunjin took a step toward you, the breeze carrying his scent to your nostrils. He smelled like his cologne, like deodorant. Sweat was pearling at his temples and the sun was making the drops look like tiny crystals. “I’d really like it if you came.” 

You blushed violently and there was nowhere to hide. You were standing right in front of him and he was staring at you with his big dark eyes. In the sun, they looked like two drops of dark syrup on whipped cream, with streaks of terracotta, with streaks of a color reminiscent of burgundy. The more you looked at him, the more you wanted to stare. Your eyes flicked between his eyes, the ink on his skin, the crystals rolling on the side of his face, the delicate curves of his cheeks and jaw. Your eyes, often, returned to his lips, enticing, pillowy, dark pink. 

You didn’t know what to say. “I’ll go.” As if there was any other option. As if you could resist him anyway. You felt the urge to fill the conversation a little to diffuse the tension building in your chest, and so that he didn’t think you were some weirdo. It had been a lot easier to speak to him when you were tipsy. “I saw your house the other day,” you added. “I went to Elkwater Springs through the trail behind my house.” 

Hyunjin’s smile relaxed a little, and so did his broad shoulders. He came closer to you to take the ball. “I also saw your house the other day,” he said with a soft chuckle. “I was gathering some stuff in the forest. Some herbs carry stronger energy when you harvest them during a thunderstorm. I almost went to knock because I saw that you’d left your windows open, but you closed them in the end. Didn't want your house to get rained in.” 

A wave of ice-cold chills went through your body, tickling your skin all over. You remembered very distinctly the dream you had on the night there had been a thunderstorm. 

Hyunjin touching you, kissing you, fucking you. The dream had seemed so real that you could almost feel it still, his weight on you as he made love to you on that big rock. 

You remembered the dream and the wetness between your legs when you had woken up. You remembered closing the windows and seeing something behind the trees at the back of your house. 

“Don’t worry,” Hyunjin added with a wink. “I didn’t spy on you or anything. It was the middle of the night. But there’s yarrow growing in that area, so I visit it once in a while.” 

You had so many questions—how was he orienting himself at night, during a thunderstorm, in a dense forest? What was so special about storm-harvested yarrow? And what exactly was yarrow anyway? Had he heard you through the open windows? Had he heard you as you were dreaming of him, of his cock stretching you, his mouth devouring yours? 

You couldn’t be more grateful when, in the end, Chan stopped tackling Minho to tackle Hyunjin instead, urging him to start the game. 

It seemed that while Chan acted like a mom to the group, Hyunjin was in charge of whatever came to soccer itself. You observed them as they played rock-paper-scissors to define the teams while Ali and Ronan were chatting with you on the bench. When Ronan asked you about the special grapefruit beer you had brought, mentioning it was one of his favorites, you gave him as good of an answer as you could, still too absorbed with the man with crimson hair to really pay attention to anything else. 

It didn’t take very long for you to understand why Hyunjin was in charge of soccer. He was good at it. He was better at it than anyone else—running and dodging and feinting and sliding, all of it while looking like a meteor, bright and fierce and unreal. What a sight it was to watch him play. Hyunjin was good and he knew it, and confidence became him. He wore it like some people wore a special cologne on a date night—knowing it wasn’t for everyday use, but being aware of its potency.

Hyunjin’s gaze was focused and yet he was smiling. Sometimes, the smile turned into a cocky grin but that suited him, too. He earned himself grunts and playful rolls of the eyes whenever he stole the ball from his opponents. On the first break, it was debated whether Hyunjin should be alternating between the two teams since the other strong player was apparently absent tonight due to a family reunion. Eventually, Ronan offered to join the opposite team since Hyunjin was worth two players and the idea was accepted, leaving you with Ali and Bruce on the bench. Bruce seemed to be enjoying watching the game—as much as a dog could enjoy soccer, at least. 

The sun went down toward the end of the second half, but Changbin had turned on the exterior lighting. People were more relaxed now, some had simply stopped playing to watch the rest of them finish the game. Most players still on the field had a beer in hand—it was Chan and Hyunjin against Felix, Minho and Changbin. Every time Minho kicked the ball and it did not go exactly where it was supposed to go, Chan would yell, MINHO IS ALLERGIC TO BALLS!!!!!!!!!!! at the top of his lungs. 

You could get used to that. How friendly everyone was. You left the bench to mingle a little, accepting a White Claw from Adam and also sharing your grapefruit beer with those who wanted one. It was one of those that Hyunjin was drinking now, not even spilling a drop of it as he scored yet again with an elegant flip of his hair to get it out of his face. He was sweating heavily, the drops of sweat stained red by his hair, in turn staining his white shirt with specks of red and pink. 

Renee was chatting with Meg but she was staring at you staring at him. In passing, she mentioned to you that she was one of those who would go to Hyunjin’s place after and you were welcome to get yet another ride with her. She and Chris also had the habit of getting shitfaced drunk at Hyunjin’s place and usually walked home since they lived not too far from him, and you were also welcome to crash at their place. “Unless you spend the night with magic man,” Renee added with a wink, making you blush. 

Here, sunsets lasted for a long while. Where there wasn’t a mountain, you could see a strip of light, amber at first, then dark orange, then dusty pink, then indigo… Then it faded into the midnight blue of the sky. At that point, the game was over and most people were gathering their things—some people had left already. Hyunjin disappeared in the school with a small group where they would use the showers in a locker room. 

Minho was one of the last ones still there. “Have fun sucking each other’s tiny tiny dicks off,” he said to Hyunjin, Chan, and Changbin. To be fair, they had made fun of him and his balls too, and it was deserved. If somebody had heard them but didn’t know them, they might have believed they had been serious, but you knew better.

The night was cool. Renee, perhaps sensing you needed it, didn’t speak much for the first half of the car ride. It was just the two of you—Chan would get a ride with Hyunjin—and the windows were down. You looked at the sky, wondering why you were seeing him among the stars. 

You broke the silence. The sound of your own voice surprised you—there wasn’t even any music playing. “Renee, you said you had a crush on Chris before dating him.”

A pause. “Yes. He was my friend.” You were leaving Main St to get to the road that crossed the forest. 

You didn’t even know what you were trying to say. “I’ve never had a crush, not really,” you admitted finally. “Except when I was like nine years old. When I look back, I realize I missed so many things. I was always… afraid of that. It never felt right. And I have no idea what to do now.” 

Another pause, but shorter this time. “Hey, can we be adults here? Two grown-ass women, speaking heart-to-heart?” She offered you a soft smile. She had a little bit of a sunburn on the tip of her nose and on her cheeks, and it made her even more beautiful somehow. “This is about how you want to fuck Hyunjin, yeah?” 

This sentence felt just about the same as if she had suddenly crashed the car into a tree. Your heart jumped in your chest but you couldn’t even look away from her. Your mind was racing as fast as your heartbeat. 

“Come on! It’s alright! The man’s really fucking hot and mysterious.” Renee bit her lip gently, as if she hesitated. “I’ve seen the way you look at him. And… him at you.” 

“He doesn’t look at me. I’ve seen him twice in my whole life,” you commented. “The first time, he was forced to look at me because he was giving me a tarot reading. And tonight he was busy outplaying everybody on that field.”

“Your overly defensive tone tells me everything I need to know.” Renee took yet another, narrower road—this one was not even paved, but you recognized the pattern of trees you had seen closer to Hyunjin’s place. “So, you’ve never had a crush before now, is that what you’re telling me?”

You were new here but you trusted Renee enough to tell her this. “I dreamt about him. It’s like he really is a witch and he put a spell on me.”

Renee chuckled. “I’m not saying he doesn’t have some sort of powers, but he didn’t put any spell on you, woman. You just need him to blow your back into oblivion. Ever had a one-night stand?”

“No, but almost.” You had made out with a guy after a party but hadn’t let him fuck you. The next morning, he had asked you on a date and you had ghosted him because you didn’t want to date him. “I’m not easily attracted to people.” You sighed. “I don’t know what love feels like either. I guess I never thought about having sex with somebody I didn’t know.”

Renee was now pulling up to Hyunjin’s driveway. You could see some light from his house through the trees. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I think he wants to fuck you too. If he hits on you, how about you let him instead of deflecting? See where this goes. Just a thought.” 

You had mourned all of this. Your relationship with your ex felt like a long-term scam instead of a proper romantic adventure. This whole time you had blamed yourself, and yourself only—you couldn’t blame him for being afraid to face life on his own and choosing to make a partner out of you. Couldn’t blame him for how easy it had been to lure you into his bed and then into his life. Maybe some of this had been because you, too, used to be terrified to be alone.

You still were, to a certain extent at least. Above all, you were resigned to it. To be alone. 

“I guess. I still don’t think he wants to fuck me. Have you seen him?”

“Girl shut up. Just accept it.” Hyunjin’s house had appeared before you. From this angle, it was even more impressive. 

It was just this huge building in an empty lot in the middle of the forest. There were a few lanterns here and there, illuminating the front and backyard. There were trees and flowers and chairs and decorations. A small paved path led from the parking space to the front door. The air smelled like lilac and freshly cut grass. You wished it was daytime. 

You sat at a small table near the house while waiting for the others to also arrive after their—Minho’s words—gay shower. This is what you heard—Renee’s breathing, and the breeze, and katydids and crickets. You heard something croaking too, farther away in the trees. In the distance, you could swear you were hearing the waterfall, too, steady, powerful, as if the sound of it was carried by the wind. This is what you felt—like you belonged here, but you didn’t know why. Like this house was where you were supposed to be tonight. Like Renee was right. Like you had been wrong to believe that you would even notice someone the way you noticed Hyunjin.

While you were waiting, a cat appeared from behind the house—immediately, Renee jumped on her feet to greet the little all-gray feline. She petted its long hair and the cat jumped into her arms. “That’s Alma. She’s Hyunjin’s,” she explained, bringing the cat back to the table where you were sitting. “She’s the sweetest cat I ever met. I’ve actually been tempted in the past to steal her from him.” 

Her coat was soft. Alma let you scratch her head and her chin. “Is she hungry? Hyunjin’s been gone for a while.” 

Renee smiled. “Nah, she’s fine. Actually, if she showed up now, it means the boys will be there shortly. She seems to sense when her human will be home.” 

You listened to the music of the night. The katydids, the wind, the waterfall. “Let’s say you’re right somehow,” you said, almost under your breath. Renee had to lean in closer to you. You were keeping your eyes on Alma, now curled up into a ball on the table. “Let’s say he does want to fuck me.” You took a deep breath. In the distance, a new noise emerged—a car. “Let’s say he does, whatever. And let’s say that we do fuck, just that, no strings attached. He tells me he had a good time but that it won’t go any further. What happens after?” This was a genuine question. “This is a really small town. I’m renting that house for a year. Do people who have one-night stands see each other all the time, do they wave each other hello when they randomly come face to face at the grocery store?”

Renee looked at you for a long while, as if she couldn’t understand what you were saying. When she spoke again, Hyunjin’s car was appearing through the path in the trees. “But why the fuck do you assume he’ll want nothing to do with you after you guys fucked?”

You couldn’t give her an answer because you didn’t have one other than being used to being disposable. You were glad the boys had arrived—it gave you the perfect excuse to remain quiet. 

A lot of jokes were made about their extensively gay shower. Chris kissed Renee while Hyunjin was unlocking his front door, Alma rubbing her side on his shins. He was talking sweetly to her while Felix was checking his phone. Apparently, Changbin had decided to stay in town and go to Parker's instead. It sounded like Hyunjin took no offense in that—Changbin had a crush on one of the employees and everybody knew it except her, apparently. 

“I forgive you the gay shower,” you heard Renee tell Chris behind you, “if you promise me we won’t go home too late tonight.” 

“Are you okay? You’re tired?” Chris sounded genuinely worried. There was something about the way Chris and Renee loved each other that made you believe that love did exist.

“Nah, I just feel like writing a little.” Hyunjin had pushed open his door and Felix had followed him inside, and you looked behind you before going in too. 

Renee winked at you with a smile. “Felix leaves early too usually,” she said, to you. And it sparked something inside of you, but you averted your gaze, too shy to admit it.

If the house had impressed you from the outside, it was even more spectacular from the inside. The ceilings were high and the windows were huge—but you already knew that. The walls were painted white—but a warm white, cozy, like fluffy clouds on which the beginning of a sunset reflects. There were also a lot of sage-green accents—the couch, a large bookshelf, the French doors separating the living room from the kitchen. 

There were flowers everywhere. And books, and strange objects. Mason jars filled with herbs or dried flowers or liquids you couldn’t recognize. Decks of tarot cards, crystals and gems and pieces of paper with hastily written notes, or peculiar sigils drawn on them. Plants everywhere. Potted, hanging, all the shades of green and brown and more. The walls were covered with pictures and frames and more plants and flowers. Fairy lights and posters. Chairs and armchairs all over the place, with throw blankets and cushions and footrests. All of it mismatched. All of it unique, most likely thrifted. All of it coherent, and so very Hyunjin.

“You don’t need to be shy,” Hyunjin told you. He had noticed that you were looking around furtively. “I can give you a little tour if you’d like. Then we can start on dinner?”

“I’m starving!” Felix complained, but he was smiling. 

It was late and you ought to be hungry too, only you weren’t. You thought about what Renee had told you. “Alright, I’d love a tour. This is such a nice house.” 

After the living room, Hyunjin showed you the kitchen next. It was huge, and fully equipped to feed thirty people at least, you reckoned. Hyunjin explained about how the building used to be this wellness center and how he had the whole house remodeled, except the kitchen. He liked it as it was, and kept most of the equipment, only changing the cupboards for something that fit more his taste. There was, again, a lot to see here. Hanging bouquets of dried herbs. Jars filled with spices and intricate ingredients. Something you liked about Hyunjin’s house was that it was clean but not tidy. There were books on the countertop. There were a few plates and an empty mug by the sink.

This house was lived in. It was loved, too, and it showed. 

Hyunjin gave Alma some wet food while you two were in the kitchen. You could hear the others’ conversation from here—they were discussing some event that would take place in the town next week that would apparently make Chris very busy at the shop all week. You observed as the gray cat lapped at her food, purring and happy. 

Hyunjin showed you the bathroom and the guest room. The guest room was more modest, but it had a beautiful frame on the wall—a hyperrealistic still-life painting. Peaches on a wooden table, next to a bottle of wine. The sun was caressing the fruit, gently, lovingly almost. The colors were incredible. Hyunjin told you he bought it at an art fair last year, from the artist herself. 

The upstairs was even better. Hyunjin had an ‘office’, with a beautiful wooden desk and more bookshelves. He showed you the room you had seen him in the other day, you saw the couch, the large window. On a shelf, there was a small collection of photo cameras. Some very old, some very recent. Hyunjin told you he liked photography but didn’t dedicate enough time to it. He showed you one camera in particular, a film camera, that he had bought from a man on the street a few years ago. “He was a tourist. I liked the camera for some reason. It called me. I made an offer and he accepted. Sold it to me with the film still inside.” Hyunjin showed you a thin photo album that was by the camera. It contained the pictures taken by the stranger and also by him. It showed Heron Lake, Main St, Elkwater Springs. 

One picture showed Hyunjin, not from up close, but it was undeniably him. His hair was about the same length it was today, but black. He was sitting under a tree, his knees up, supporting what seemed to be a journal he was writing into. He had fewer tattoos than he did today, but the same wisdom in his eyes. The same strength, the same softness to him. The man had taken this picture, then Hyunjin had noticed him, and had bought the camera from him. The rest of the pictures were taken by Hyunjin—the view from the top of the Elkwater Springs waterfall, a beautiful rose bush, Main St, Chris and Renee…

Everything Hyunjin showed you was a little universe in itself. An empty vivarium that he kept just in case a lizard, a snake or a frog would need saving. Another one containing dormant chrysalides—luna moths and monarch butterflies that Hyunjin raised and released around his garden every year. “I’ll show you the garden later,” he promised. The upstairs also had a little reading nook and two bathrooms—one was for the master bedroom. 

You were intimidated by all of this. By the spells scribbled down on pieces of paper here and there. By him. By his damp hair, his tattoos, by his soft voice and by how tall he was. By the shelves filled with candles of all sizes and colors, with essential oils and herbs and strange items and ingredients. You were intimidated because you had no idea what you were doing here and why your heart was fluttering, but it was, and it felt good that it did. It made you feel alive. 

It made you wish you weren’t so frightened to open up. 

When you joined the others again, Hyunjin offered all of you a drink while he was making a quick dinner. “All of the ingredients are ready, I just need to put the pizza together and cook it.” He turned to you then, “Wanna give me a hand? You seemed to like the kitchen.” 

You had never been particularly good at cooking, but you could recognize a good kitchen when you saw one. “Yes. And I’ll have a drink, too.” Maybe this would help you. 

This is what happened—you followed Hyunjin to the kitchen and he made drinks. Gin with lime and lemon juice and fresh mint and homemade strawberry syrup, on the rocks. It was good and refreshing and delicious. You two never stopped talking. 

You mentioned his soccer skills and he told you about his school and how his parents were strict but he had been on the soccer team and also in a few swimming competitions. He asked you about your school, too, and you told him the basics of it, although that sparked many memories and you two ended up chatting about your childhoods for a good while as Hyunjin was preparing dinner. 

He was making pizzas—all from scratch. You observed as he worked the dough with his agile hands, kneading and folding it like he knew what he was doing. “Felix’s dad taught me,” he said finally, noticing your interest. 

Occasionally, one of the others would come in the kitchen to ask something or for a refill on the drinks—you took care of that while Hyunjin was making the food, but you wondered why they wouldn’t join you. In the end, you figured Renee was probably trying to earn her wingwoman of the year title and, perhaps helped by the couple drinks you had, it made you smile discreetly. 

You should feel awkward. You should be embarrassed beyond belief—you had quite literally pulled a voyeur moment on that man and watched him masturbate. You didn’t know him, not really, but you knew his parents’ names and you knew that he liked to make his pizza sauce with fresh tomatoes and herbs he grew in his garden. He knew that you were bitter about a lost job opportunity and that before moving here, you had never seen mountains like that, so high and lush with greenery and life. 

You knew that you would watch him cook for hours and hours if given the chance. His motions were precise, neither slow or fast, always just right, somehow. He wouldn’t let you help him—he was making two pizzas, one with grilled veggies and the other with bacon. He chopped the bacon and cooked it in a pan with rosemary and a dash of honey. He made the veggies with browned butter and parsley and thyme and you watched as the mushrooms and bell peppers and red onion and cauliflower became grilled to perfection. 

“I didn’t like to cook before,” Hyunjin began as he spread the sauce on the dough. “I guess I learned to appreciate it in this very kitchen.” 

“It is a practical kitchen,” you commented. A low, chill beat was coming from the living room, creating a soft and relaxing ambiance when layered with the conversations happening in the two different rooms. You felt at ease here. “Did you live in a house before, or an apartment?” 

Hyunjin hesitated but it barely showed. “An apartment.” Another pause as he started piling up the ingredients on the pizzas. “I like it much better here. It feels right.” 

You didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. His delicate traits were like an open book—whatever was on his mind didn’t please him, so you should redirect the conversation elsewhere. 

But it made you curious.

“I think I get it,” you offered. “This place feels right for me too. This place even more—your house, I mean.” 

A thin smile appeared on Hyunjin’s pink lips and he looked away from the pizzas to stare into your eyes. “Heron Lake found you too, didn’t it?” 

“What?”

“Why would you come here if you hadn’t been called? How did you even find this place? This town out of all towns? A tiny nook in between mountains? Nowhere?” 

Hyunjin wasn’t the first person to ask you this question and he was certainly not the last. The truth was that you didn’t have an answer. You didn’t really know. 

“How did it happen for you?” Hyunjin inquired, reprising his making of the pizzas after taking a few sips from his drink. Behind him, Alma went to curl up on a rattan chair in the corner of the room. “Saw an ad for Chris’ store for no reason? Thought you could uncover the truth about Mothman? Read one of the Elkwater forest ghost stories online?” 

“No, I—” You frowned, putting your glass back on the counter with a loud clink. Mothman was one thing, but… “There are ghosts?” You looked around, but the curtains were drawn on the windows and it was nighttime anyway. “What the fuck?”

Hyunjin shrugged. “I’ve never encountered anything truly malevolent, don’t worry. It’s an old forest. An old place. There’s all sorts of things here—and it’s why you were called, why I was called. Nobody finds Heron Lake—it finds you.” 

You were wondering what sort of ghosts might live in a forest—also making you question everything you thought you knew about life. If anybody had asked you if you believed in ghosts five minutes ago, the answer would have been not really. And now the answer was I don’t know. If you didn’t believe in something, it shouldn’t scare you, right? 

“I was just online looking at… nothing and everything,” you recalled, definitely trying to think about anything other than ghosts in your backyard. “Just scrolling. Then I zoomed in on this random place, and again, and again, and the lake caught my eye. Elkwater Springs. And now I’m here. So I guess you’re right.”

Hyunjin stuck his tongue out playfully, suppressing a laugh. “I’m always right!” 

You rolled your eyes but really, he was always right… About things he had no reason to be. And it was unsettling. At your age, you didn’t think you could ever see magic again in this world, and here you were. Hyunjin’s arrival in your life had changed your beliefs fundamentally, probably more than you wanted to admit for now, but definitely more than you thought it had.

Hyunjin seemed focused on his task, as if placing cheese on pizzas was the most important thing in the world right now. It was endearing. It was fascinating. The bracelets around his wrists tinkled like windchimes when he moved. His hair was almost fully dry now, looking silky soft under the amber ceiling lights. 

The question spilled from your lips before you could even think about stopping it. “Hyunjin, is magic real?”

He didn’t budge—he simply looked at you over the pizzas. “Some magic is real. You can ask me questions if you’d like. I can’t promise you I have all the answers, but I’ll do my best to quench your curiosity.” With a lopsided smile, he added, “Don’t hold back.”

You looked over your shoulder while Hyunjin was putting the pizzas into the oven. In the living room, Renee, Chris and Felix were apparently now playing a video game. “Shouldn’t we join them?”

“You can if you’d like, but I have to stay near the pizzas to make sure they don’t overcook.” Hyunjin crossed the kitchen to make it to his very fancy fridge—the doors matched the cupboards and it was huge and looked like you could play a movie on it—and pulled a bottle of wine from it. “Feel free to join me. This house… is a safe space. You can do whatever you want and nobody will ever judge you. I only invite people who give off energies that match mine, and each other’s.” 

This, you didn’t doubt at all. In fact, it explained a lot about the sudden comfort you had felt in here. How, already, you were sitting crossed-legged on one of the stools in the kitchen, snacking on the cheese and bacon that hadn’t made it on the pizzas, speaking with Hyunjin about your childhood and lost dreams, or about the uses of basil—it tasted delicious and was supposed to attract luck.  

“You can go take a nap upstairs, or pick a book to read, or play video games, or go sit outside in the garden with Alma,” Hyunjin went on. “Don’t worry about it.”

You stared at him and at the way his thick, perfectly sculpted brows stitched together as he was uncorking the wine. “I’ll stay here then.” Your voice was a little shaky. You cleared your voice. “That wine looks fancy.”

“It is,” Hyunjin admitted. “Last year, I helped a couple with a spell and a ritual. A couple of months later… They sent me a gift package. As a thank you. And there was a bottle of this wine in it, and I’ve been addicted ever since. I indulge once in a while.” 

Hyunjin said that in the same voice he would have used to tell you he helped someone with a flat tire. The wine was from Italy—a Gavi—and its color was a complex yellow reminiscent of sunsets. Or liquid gold. You suppressed a smile as Hyunjin grabbed a second wine glass and filled it for you. 

“You help people. That’s honorable.” You meant it. “You help them enough that they want to thank you and send gifts.” It made you wonder what exactly was your purpose in life. Your job helped nobody. What kind of legacy was that? “They must have been very grateful.”

The wine was delicious. Cold, refreshing, sweet but with bold citrusy notes and a pleasant floral aftertaste. It tasted like summer. It tasted like the illusion you had once been truly happy in your life. 

“Yeah, they were.” Hyunjin’s smile turned dark for a few seconds. His full lips were coated with the wine. The kitchen smelled like pizza and laughter resonated through the house. You never wanted the moment to end, but you watched as Hyunjin reached for his phone and looked for something on it—he only needed a few seconds. Soon enough, he showed you a picture. It must have been them, the couple he had mentioned. Their smiles were radiant. The man was holding a newborn baby. 

“That’s them?”

Hyunjin nodded. “They weren’t able to conceive. But it was their dream. To have a baby.” 

In that instant, Hyunjin’s face looked like he had never been happy once in his life. You gave him the phone back, and it returned on the counter while he drank heavily from his glass. You watched his adam’s apple bob as he swallowed it all, gulping thickly. Maybe he was uncomfortable talking about that, about his… powers. 

But he went on. “They came here as tourists. They got lost on a hike and I came across them and offered to guide them back. On the way back to town, we chatted, and I learned that it was a little vacation they were having because they had suffered through IVF procedures and nothing had worked out.”

“But how does that work? A spell to make a woman pregnant?”

Hyunjin thought about it for a long time, swirling his wine in his glass, head tilted to the side. His crimson hair brushed elegantly on his shoulder as he sorted through his thoughts. He was—and there was no denying it—the most beautiful fucking thing you had ever seen. From his perfect honey skin, his plush lips, his posture. 

“See, it’s not abracadabra and she’s pregnant,” he explained. “I told you the other night—it’s all about intention. And about channeling those intentions with the right energies. They just needed a little nudge. They just needed…”

You finished his sentence, remembering what he had said during your tarot reading. “...an antenna.”

“An antenna,” Hyunjin echoed, looking a little more relaxed. “All it took was their love and their desire to bring life into this world. Some nettle, the flames of a few candles, the full moon. Green ink on paper, and enough energy to cast the spell. I didn’t do much, just guided them.”

Somehow, Hyunjin was even more beautiful when he was talking about his talent. There was a spark in his eyes, there was confidence in his voice. It made you want to sit here all night and listen to him. 

“Energy? What kind of energy? you asked, curious. The timer on the oven said there was two minutes left on the pizzas. Hyunjin was regularly checking up on them. You needed more time. 

Hyunjin drank some wine and licked it off his perfect lips, staring directly into your eyes. “When appropriate, I find sex to be the most efficient spell-casting technique.” He drank wine, again, pressing his tongue against the glass before locking his lips around it, carefully letting the liquid into his mouth. He swallowed it, never breaking eye contact with you. “Orgasms are powerful, but everything that comes before is, too. Lust, desire, kisses and touches. All that.”

It was as if Hyunjin had shocked you—a violent, electricity-charged wind stirred within you, starting as a tingle in your fingertips and ending as tremors in your core. You pressed your thighs together as if it would make any difference. As if you hadn’t felt that sentence in your clit. 

“S—Sex?” You were a little too aware of the warmth emanating from your face. You were a little too aware of how quickly your heart was beating, too. 

“Sex magick,” Hyunjin confirmed with a nod. “It’s not necessarily what’s required in every situation, but often, it just… works. Naturally, for people seeking fertility…” 

There was one minute left on the timer. Hyunjin went to look at the pizzas anyway, just to make sure. You stared at the golden liquid in your glass, rethinking your whole life in just a few seconds. “But what does it mean? You… You had sex with them?”

Hyunjin let out a short snort, but it wasn’t a mockery, it was as if he found you genuinely funny. “God, no! I’ve never had sex with anyone for a spell. But I was there, yes. The baby was conceived that very night as far as we know. I brought them to the top of a mountain, and we talked for a while, and then… Then they started touching each other, and I just encouraged them. Talked them through it, guided the intentions. The same goes for solo stuff, too. I’m just there to make sure the energies flow.”

“You watch people fuck?” This sounded messed up—it should be messed up, but it wasn’t. Somehow, it fucking wasn’t. “You talk to them while they fuck and it… it… makes magic happen?”

“That’s a wildly summarized version of it, yes. I doubt that me, simply encouraging him to fuck her deeper, or to tell her how good she is at taking him, or to comment on how fucking beautiful it was when he filled her with his fertile seed, is what made the pregnancy hold this one time. But then, what do we know?”

You knew one thing—that your pussy was wet. That you couldn’t not imagine it now, the night, the full moon, two lovers fucking on the ground, their bodies feeding off the energy of the moonlight and the earth beneath them, their cum permeating the soil, their moans filling the air. Hyunjin’s soft voice, guiding them, his gaze lingering on the curve of her breasts, on his cock stretching her. 

You knew one thing—you didn’t know anything. Maybe it was all true. Maybe Hyunjin held power inside him somehow. Maybe he was able to make things happen. Maybe his voice carried intent, maybe his lips were beautiful enough to make miracles happen. For all you knew, his cum contained ancient, forgotten magic.

The timer on the oven went off, making you jump in your seat. You almost fell off but managed to make it look smooth, as if you were getting up. Your knees almost gave out when you stood on your feet. 

You were so wet that you could feel it stick to your panties. 

Hyunjin, in the span of two minutes, had aroused you so badly that you were considering running to the bathroom real quick to finger yourself to get some relief. You didn’t think you could make it through dinner. 

“Dinner’s ready!” Hyunjin shouted toward the living room. “Is your match over soon?” 

“Three minutes-ish!” Chris replied. Three minutes—you didn’t need that long to cum, not in the state that you were in currently. 

You began retreating, slow, careful steps, never turning your back on Hyunjin, as if he were a wild animal. He was pulling plates from the cupboards while the pizzas cooled down a little.

“Tell me,” Hyunjin began, now looking into the fridge to grab some cans of soda, “is there something you want? No, let me rephrase that.” He placed the Coke Zeros and the Ginger Ales on the counter and turned to you, his eyes inquisitive. “I know there’s something that you want. I’m offering you my help.”

“Your help?” You gulped, the pressure between your legs coming and going in waves. 

“A spell. I can make a spell with you. That thing you want—we can make it happen.” Hyunjin took a step toward you, enveloping you in his scent once again. You could feel the warmth emanating from his body. 

“With me?” As opposed to for you? He was the witch—you had no magical power except the excessive talent of always picking the slowest checkout lane at the local Wal-Mart. “I don’t… I’m not a witch.”

“It’s your intentions that matter,” Hyunjin explained with a soft, comprehensive smile. “They matter more than whatever I can do to help. Just think about it. It’s a simple offer, and it’s free.” 

You were about to respond when the rest of the group joined you in the large kitchen. Chan and Felix grabbed a can of soda each while telling Hyunjin about the wondrous feats they had just accomplished in the game—and Renee had to remind them that she had beaten both of them in the end. The room smelled delicious, the scent of the tomatoes Hyunjin had roasted with garlic for the sauce, the fresh herbs, the touch of sweetness in the bacon. And yet, Hyunjin’s personal scent, the strange perfume of roses and smoke and sunshine, haunted you. 

You took the same seat you had just left, now abandoning your plan of a quick cum in the bathroom. The wetness between your legs was uncomfortable and yet, there was something thrilling about it, as if it served as a reminder. That somebody had stirred something up within you. A storm, a forest fire, something frightening, something unstoppable. Something beautiful.

The pizza tasted as good as it smelled, and you listened to the conversations around the counter as everybody sat on their stools to eat dinner, giving Hyunjin all the compliments he so deserved. Between the five of you, the fancy Gavi wine disappeared rather quickly but was followed with a refreshing beer to finish dinner with. 

At some point this week, people had stopped calling you new girl, and you had stopped feeling like a stranger, too. You saw something in the locals’ eyes here in Heron Lake—familiarity. Like the trees were not just trees, but old friends. Like the mountain was their home. Like the lakes and rivers surrounding this place were a lot more than simple bodies of water. Like they were anchored into this place, the soil, the forest, the mountains, like they were a part of it as much as it was a part of them.

You were a little afraid of this feeling inside of you, but you couldn’t deny your heart any longer—it was on its knees, begging you to allow Renee to become your best fucking friend, begging you to ask Chris to join you on a hike, begging you to ask Felix if he could show you how to play his favorite video game. 

Begging you to let Hyunjin tell you the whole history of witchcraft if he wanted to. Begging you to let him in. Him, all of them. Ali and Michelle too, and Adam and Ronan. Maybe you should finally look into getting that tattoo you wanted to get earlier this year. Maybe you should visit Parker’s often and ask Meg if she needed help waiting a few tables, maybe you should learn to know the mysterious Minho while you were there, while also assisting Changbin in seducing that girl he liked. 

Maybe each person was a work of art on a canvas, not quite blank but never quite finished either, always changing, always being made more beautiful as they let other people’s colors blend with their own. Maybe Hyunjin had been right—you hadn’t found Heron Lake, it had found you. 

Like you were supposed to come here. For the first time in your life, everything felt right. 

Renee had conveniently picked the seat right next to yours. You had, on purpose, stayed a little away from Hyunjin, perhaps to give your mind a little rest from the intense spinning that occurred to it every time you were a little too close to the man with the crimson hair. 

She dipped some of the crust of her second pizza slice in Hyunjin’s fancy chives and butter sauce, chasing it down with some beer. “So,” she started, wiping the corner of her mouth with a paper napkin. But then she didn’t say anything else.

You weren’t a fool—you knew exactly what she was trying to say, probably utilizing the fact that the boys were very focused on watching a video on Felix’s phone. “Yeah?” What were you supposed to tell her? Hyunjin told me about that one time he watched a couple conceive a baby and it made me wet and now I want him to perform sex rituals on me?

“We’ll probably leave soon after dinner,” Renee went on after finishing her pizza. “We’ll go get the car from the school tomorrow, we can give you a ride home then. Felix, you still staying over at our place?”

“Think so!” Felix clapped enthusiastically. He turned to you. “You should come too! But if you really wanna go home, we can call someone and head back home together.” Felix lived closer to you than the others. 

Hyunjin’s gaze flicked from the phone, landing on you for half a second before returning to the screen. You noticed it, and Renee noticed it too. “You guys should stay a little longer. I made ice cream,” he said, pushing his empty plate away. 

An extensive explanation of Hyunjin’s latest hobby followed, dutifully given by Chris and Felix. Apparently, Hyunjin had won an ice cream machine at a fair that had visited the town last year, and he had started experimenting with that. Some people—Changbin—said that he made the best ice cream in the world. 

You and Chris cleaned up the kitchen a little while Renee was helping Hyunjin divide the leftovers—apparently, it was also a tradition of this group of friends to share the leftovers when they met for a meal. “Actually, I think our cupboard has more containers from everyone else’s than our own,” Chris explained with one of his insanely endearing giggles. 

“I should host sometime soon,” you decided, but you couldn’t figure why the fuck you had said that. Not that you didn’t mean it—you’d love to invite people over, but you certainly couldn’t cook on Hyunjin’s level and your house was bland. A lot of your belongings were still in boxes or bags, and you hadn’t bothered with decorating any of the rooms, knowing that you were only renting for a year. “I won’t make pizza as good as this though,” you added, making sure everybody was warned. 

“I can help you,” Hyunjin offered. Behind him, Felix was preparing bowls and spoons for the ice cream. “When you host, I mean. I’ll come over and help out.” 

Renee’s face was worth approximately five million US dollars at that very moment and you tried to ignore her expression of pure triumph. You also tried to push some of your hair over your face to hide the blatant flush on your cheeks. “Oh—wow—I mean—you’re really nice—that’s—that’s nice,” you managed. “You don’t have to, I mean—”

Hyunjin tksed you, rolling his eyes with a smile. “I know I don’t have to. Believe it or not, most of the time, when people offer their help, it’s because they genuinely mean it.”

You nodded, humbled, but your heart was warm. “You’re right. Thanks, Hyunjin.” 

“Ice cream time!” Hyunjin declared to change the subject. Maybe he had noticed your slight discomfort, but he couldn’t know that part of it was from panties being still very wet from earlier and everything that entailed. “I made two flavors—pistachio with pine honey, and peach, saffron and vanilla.” 

Hyunjin took care of scooping everyone’s ice cream, not letting anybody help him. Chris mentioned he wanted to eat outside to get some fresh air. Felix followed him after Hyunjin filled his bowl with huge scoops of each flavor. It was your turn now, but Hyunjin pulled Renee’s bowl. “I assume pine honey?” he told her with a smile. 

“You know me.” Renee went to a drawer to get a spoon in addition to the one she was already holding. “You also know me enough to know I’m definitely gonna have a taste of the other one too.”

“I’d be offended if you didn’t,” Hyunjin admitted with a laugh. 

You watched Renee taste the peach ice cream. She had a slight frown, as if she was truly studying it. “Wow,” she muttered. “That’s special.” 

“It sure is.” Hyunjin handed her the bowl filled with pistachio and pine honey ice cream, “I came up with the recipe last week.” He pulled the last two empty bowls toward him—yours and his—and began filling them with peach ice cream. 

Renee thanked him and went with the others outside. You could see them from here, sitting at the small table where you and Renee had been earlier. There was a small lantern on it and Chris had turned it on, basking the three of them in soft, yellow light. There was something excessively peaceful in seeing this trio and their smiles. 

“I didn’t ask which one you wanted,” Hyunjin said, pulling you back to the kitchen. “It’s because I made the recipe for this one after I met you.” 

The ceramic bowl was cold in your hand when you grabbed it from him, filled with two perfect scoops of golden-colored ice cream. You had never seen such color in ice cream before—there was obviously nothing artificial about it. It reminded you of sunflowers and marigolds and the smell of sunshine that lingered on Hyunjin. 

He glanced at the window, watching the others for a few seconds. “I’d like to show you the garden,” he told you. “If you want?”

A scary thought went through your mind—that you’d follow him just about anywhere if he asked you with those eyes, if he asked you before he licked clean the ice cream scooper, the thick cream sticking to his wet tongue, his eyes observing you as if you were a map, a puzzle, a question waiting to be answered. You’d probably follow him if he told you he wanted to go deep into the forest to harvest some obscure herb. 

But the garden sounded nice. Anywhere sounded nice if he were there. “I’d love to,” you retorted, clearing your throat. 

“We can talk about your spell,” Hyunjin explained, storing the ice cream into his large freezer again. “We’ll also have to discuss boundaries, and if you’re comfortable with it, you can tell me what it’s about exactly, but I think I know.” 

You followed him into the short hallway that ended with a large sliding door that led to the garden. “You do?” 

“Well I know you got the Three of Swords in your tarot reading, and I know it was about your ex,” Hyunjin explained, stopping right before the door, keeping a hand on the handle. “I’m interested to know how exactly you’d like to get back at him. And maybe what it is that he did to you, too. If you want. Because… I know that’s what it’s all about. I know it's preventing you from being happy.” Hyunjin hesitated. “I’d like to think we could become friends you and I, or something. Someday.”

“Oh.” How could Hyunjin read you so well? And why was he so kind to you? Maybe life had made you forget that, sometimes, people were honest and upfront about their emotions. That life wasn’t always about downplayed feelings. That not everybody was playing a game of who will text first, that not everybody was keeping vital information unspoken. “Yeah, I’d like that a lot.” The warmth on your cheeks was back and you needed to busy yourself with something, so you simply picked up some ice cream on your spoon and brought it to your lips as Hyunjin was pushing the door open. 

The intricate beauty of the garden hit you at the exact same time as the elaborate taste of the ice cream did, almost causing your synapses to short-circuit.

The ice cream was sweet, but not overly sweet. It tasted like ripe peaches and saffron and vanilla, exactly what it had been described as, but the blend of these three flavors created a fourth one that was strangely familiar. You quickly ate more, chasing more of that unexpected yet divine taste, letting it melt on your tongue and coat the inside of your mouth. 

“Oh my god…” You turned to Hyunjin as he closed the door behind him. “That’s delicious!” 

For the first time maybe ever, Hyunjin appeared shy. Bashful. He took his time with the door before looking in your direction again. “You really like it?” The garden had minimal lighting, all warm and intimate, but enough to show his big, dark eyes. 

You took a step toward him, momentarily forgetting the magic garden around you. “You made this? From scratch?” The taste lingered in your mouth. The bowl was cold in your hand. Hyunjin was tall and his eyes were devouring yours. “After you met me?” 

Hyunjin took a bite of the ice cream as if he needed to revisit its taste, to make sure. “Our first meeting left quite a strong impression on me,” he admitted. He looked somewhere behind you. “Are you afraid of birds? Some people are.”

“What? Birds? No, why?” You didn’t want to change the subject. For some reason, this ice cream was the most important thing to you right now. 

Hyunjin’s uneasiness seemed to dissipate a little. He licked his lips clean and stretched his neck, looking vaguely in the direction of the forest—probably around the very place you had been when you had seen him in his window. He parted his lips, just barely, and whistled. A soft whistle at first, then turning into a melody. The sound was steady, beautiful. It filled your mind the same way the ice cream’s flavor had. 

Your gaze followed Hyunjin’s, looking up to the sky. And, seeing the sky.

You had moved to Heron Lake a little while ago now, and while you had heard about the view of the night sky from the mountains, you hadn’t experienced it. Until now. The sky looked like deep blue silk. The stars weren’t just white dots on it, they were actual little spheres of light. Yellow and orange or blueish or red, even. Sparkling and twinkling and shining into the darkness. From here, it looked like you should touch them, feel them under your fingertips. They looked like red pearls of sweat rolling on Hyunjin’s honey skin. They looked like the fairy lights reflecting in his big eyes. Worlds and galaxies and mysteries and the taste of ripe peaches with a touch of saffron and vanilla. 

You jumped when the same whistle that Hyunjin had produced echoed into the night, but this time it hadn’t spilled from his lips. You looked everywhere around, and, for a second, figured that Chris or someone else must have responded to him, until you heard the flapping of wings, until you saw a shadow flying beneath the stars. 

A raven carefully circled over the garden until it landed gently on Hyunjin’s shoulder, immediately going for the bowl of ice cream that he was holding. You knew this was a raven because last week, when you had asked what was the difference between a raven and a crow, Felix had told you that you’ll know when you see a raven because they’re just so fucking huge. He had been right about that.

The bird gently tapped the ceramic with its large beak before returning to nuzzle in Hyunjin’s neck, eliciting a giggle from him. He let go of the ice cream to scratch the top of the bird’s head, much like he would do to a dog. 

You had told him you weren’t scared of birds and that was true, but you had never seen such a big one from so close. It was large but it was beautiful, almost invisible in the night, the lights reflecting on its feathers. 

“You’re calm,” Hyunjin noticed. “A lot of people freak out.”

“Is that… your bird?” You couldn’t help but come a little closer, fascinated by the way the bird’s head moved, and the sound it made when it flapped its wings. 

“Yes and no. I don’t want to claim him as mine. He was abandoned by his group when he was still a fledgling… I don’t know why.” Hyunjin left a little kiss on the bird’s face, to which it—he—responded with a low, soft croaking noise and a short series of whistles. He turned to you. “Do you know what a group of ravens is called? There’s a word for it.”

“What is it?” As if this is what mattered now. You kept eating the ice cream before it could melt, almost like you wanted to remember this taste forever. Almost like you needed to figure out what it reminded you of before the bowl was empty. 

“An unkindness.” 

Unkindness. Words were often so harsh, so cruel, gratuitous. You stared at the raven resting on Hyunjin’s shoulder, finding absolutely nothing unkind about it.

“What about this one?” you inquired, curious, hoping he would explain to you why there was a kind raven living around his house, or maybe give you its name if it had one. “What do you call it?”

Hyunjin's eyes were as dark as the bird's feathers when he stared into yours. “A friend. A guardian.” The bird flapped its wings, taking flight but not for long—it went to rest on a low branch of one of the few trees within the fenced garden, preening like there was no tomorrow. “His name is Aris—short for Polaris, the North Star. I found him on a very difficult day. A dark, dark day…”

Hyunjin let the sentence trail to silence and you allowed it, giving him a few seconds of privacy as he was staring at his feathered friend. “Did you find him or did he find you?” you asked, smiling fondly. 

He was smiling when Hyunjin turned to you again, the bittersweet cloud gone away. “You’re starting to get it.” He saluted you like a master would his apprentice. Twisting his neck toward the raven, he added, “Wanna go back to sleep, Aris?” 

Aris let out a low shrill before speaking words. “Goodnight Aris,” he said in a voice that sounded much like Hyunjin’s. “Goodnight Aris, goodnight Aris, bye bye, sweet dreams.” 

You knew that some birds could talk—or rather, mimic sounds—but this was beyond anything you thought possible. Aris took flight once again, disappearing into the night with a muffled whoosh.

“Wow.” You stood there, still staring blankly at the branch where Aris had been a moment ago. “I think that’s the coolest thing I’ve ever fucking seen.”

Hyunjin laughed so hard at this that he choked on the last spoonful of his ice cream. There were tears in his eyes when he managed to breathe normally again. “I think he likes you though. He tends to be wary of strangers usually.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” You scraped the bottom of your bowl to make sure you weren’t wasting any of that peach ice cream. The taste was so bold, sweet yet… sweet yet… perfect. The word erotic came to your mind, but you quickly pushed that at the back of your head. The rest of this train of thought would have to wait until you were reunited with your vibrator. “He’s beautiful. He lives outside?”

“Yeah. Sometimes he’ll stay inside though,” Hyunjin explained. “He’s free to do whatever. Sometimes, he leaves for several days. And I always think, that’s it, Aris finally found a mate. But he always returns. Always alone.”

You frowned, feeling genuine melancholy for this bird. “Oh. That’s too bad…” The ice cream was gone, so you licked your lips clean and left the empty bowl with Hyunjin’s on a stony ledge. “But he has you. That’s something. Maybe he doesn’t want a mate.” 

“I delude myself into thinking this, yes. That it’s his choice. Some people choose to be alone—maybe birds do the same.” 

You couldn’t stop the question before it escaped your lips—and you didn’t really want to stop it anyway. “You seem alone too, Hyunjin. Aren’t you?” You hadn’t seen any sign of a partner in his house and by the way Renee was so adamantly trying to get you into his pants, he must be single. “Is it your choice?” It must be, you thought. He was too beautiful, too striking, not to be desired by many.

He did not hesitate, did not shy away. “Yes.” Then, softly, “same as you.” He motioned toward the garden, inviting you in. “Let’s go?” 

You followed him. There was a lot to see all at once, but Hyunjin assured you that it was even prettier during the day when all the flowers were open and soaking up the sun. But you liked it at night, too. The fence provided intimacy and a sense of warmth—it was made of wood but covered entirely by thick, leafy vines. It smelled like wet earth, like flowers, like herbs, too. 

There was a tiny greenhouse in which Hyunjin grew various things—from rosemary to chamomile, also French parsley, lavender, bay leaf and sage and everything in between. He also had a few tomato plants and grew his own lettuce. He promised he would make you a salad when it would be time to harvest, claiming that his lettuce was particularly flavorful because he planted it alongside basil and oregano. 

Hyunjin also had a hot tub. A very fancy one at that, but not luxurious per se—he explained that it was more like a complicated bathtub. The water was exclusively heated by a stove that burned wood. “It’s not the same as electrical. The warmth is different. Elemental. Real.” And then he explained how even the water here wasn’t apparently just regular water.

“The building’s water source comes from the same underground water source as Elkwater Springs,” he clarified. “This is one of the many reasons I really wanted this house.”

“Why, though? The water is just better?” The strong flavor of the ice cream remained in your mouth—it stayed there, lingering, much like the wetness between your legs. 

Hyunjin raised his eyebrows, surprised. “You haven’t heard the legend behind Elkwater Springs? How it got its name and all?” 

You tried to remember if you had seen this pop up anywhere but couldn’t think of it at all. “Is it not online?” 

Hyunjin shook his head, inviting you to sit with him on an outdoor couch. The cushions were smooth and bouncy. This outdoor lounge set was much more comfortable than the one you had in your fucking living room. 

“The legend dates back to way before Heron Lake was founded,” he began, speaking in a low voice, as if he didn’t want to be heard by anybody but you. The people who were here had lived here for a long time and they knew the ancient magic of the mountains. They also knew the forest well, respecting it and worshiping it as their goddess. They lived here peacefully for centuries until they were disturbed by invaders who wanted their land. They did not want to fight—spilling blood in a battle within the forest would be an affront to their goddess. 

“They folded to preserve peace, making deals with the invaders, asking to be left alone if they moved farther into the forest. The deal was made. The clan leader was a wise woman. She had lost her mate to an illness many years prior to that—all that she had left was her people and her daughter. The daughter fell in love with one of the invaders and she became pregnant with his child. 

“When the truth was uncovered, the invaders killed the man for treason and came to take the daughter away and bring her with them. Her pregnancy was advanced by then—so much so that the shock of it all made her water break. The clan protected her. They firmly said that the child belonged to the forest, just like its mother and its grandmother. The invaders slaughtered more than half of the clan, including the wise leader. Her daughter fled, disappearing into the trees, leaving behind her a trail of blood that was dripping from between her legs. She collapsed near Elkwater Springs and gave birth, alone, to her son. It was then that one of the invaders caught up with her, alerted by the baby’s cries and by the blood staining the grass. When he tried to shoot her, an elk appeared from behind the large rocks and was killed by the invader in her place.”

Hyunjin’s storytelling was so gripping that you could see everything clearly—every tree, every person. You could see the elk, imagine its blood in its thick coat, you could hear the mother’s cries and pleas. There was nothing else left—just you and Hyunjin, and the words that came out of his enticing mouth. 

“The legend says that it was the goddess, the forest, who protected the mother and her child. This gave the mother enough time to disarm her opponent and she killed him, knowing she shouldn’t spill blood in the forest, knowing it was the only way she could save her baby. She washed her son in the waters of what would then become Elkwater Springs. The baby did not cry after this. 

“The mother left her son with the dead elk, carrying the dead invader away, begging the goddess to save her son. The invaders came and found her soon after. They killed her and assumed they had also killed the bastard son. They threw her body in the water and it was carried back to the dead elk and to her son. This is how her cousin found her, and her son, who was very much alive. They took the meat of the elk and buried her nearby. The mother’s blood runs into Elkwater Springs, and so does her protection. The trail in the forest was created by her son’s birth blood as she ran away from the fight, ending at the waterfall. The son lived a long life, and it is thanks to him and the sacrifice his mother made that the forest is preserved.” 

It took you a long while to process and digest it all. Hyunjin may have presented this as a legend, but you heard this as a truth. You thought about the trail that you had followed and how it had conveniently carried you exactly here. From your house. You thought about the strange force you had felt in the waterfall, something that you hadn’t been able to explain but something that you had felt within you. 

“This is such a sad story…” Your voice was small, smaller than you had imagined. You were moved. Hell, the pressure you had felt all evening in your lower abdomen had turned into an ache, almost as if the mother from the legend had come to show you what her pain had been like. 

“But the baby lived,” Hyunjin retorted, his voice suddenly low, dull, flat. “It’s all that matters. The mother gave her life for her son. She wouldn’t have wanted to be alive anyway if her baby had somehow perished.” 

You gulped, listening to the silence around you, realizing that silence was just a made-up word for something that didn’t exist except maybe in the vacuum of space. But here, silence meant the distant flow of the waterfall, the katydids, Hyunjin’s slow breathing, distant voices of your friends, and the lazy flapping of water coming from the hot tub. 

You didn’t insist. “Yes,” you decided to say, staring at the pretty paved path underneath your shoes. It was made of what seemed to be natural rocks, uneven and mismatched, yet they agreed together and agreed with the rest of the strange garden. Somehow. The high-tech hot tub, the willow tree, the oak tree, the greenhouse, the countless flowers and bushes and plants. Everything, you thought, must be so closely tied to Hyunjin, his soul, his energy. As if he held this whole place together somehow. 

You heard footsteps in the not-silence. They stopped at a short distance from you, on the other side of the fence. 

It was Felix. “My dad just called to check if I was too drunk to drive… he’s closing the restaurant in 10, said he’d pick me up after his last delivery. If you wanna hop in.” 

Every atom, every molecule of your body was at war with your brain—you wanted to go home. You wanted to stay here. Hell, you’d spend the whole entire night right here, sitting on this couch, staring at the stars. You could see shapes in them. Lines and formations and constellations that didn’t even exist. You wanted to stay here and observe Aris the raven from up close, study his black feathers under the sunlight. You wanted to stay here and listen to Hyunjin tell you stories all night. And then the day after. And the night after. With your mouth still sweet from the ice cream. 

But you knew better. “Alright, thanks a lot, Lix. I’ll be there soon.” 

“Don’t forget your leftovers in the fridge,” Hyunjin warned, and he turned to you again as Felix was walking away. “We should probably talk about your spell before you go,” he offered. “If you want.”

You thought about Daehan. About the pain he had put you through. For so long you had wanted revenge—proper revenge. You had schemed and conspired and while you had never acted, it was never for a lack of will. You were simply afraid of the person it would make of you if you managed to ruin his life. But this is what you had wanted to do—you had wanted to anonymously contact upper management of your old company and tell them about him fucking your boss in the bathroom. It wasn’t even made up, it was all real. But you knew this would be more than enough to get him fired. You should have told someone, anyone, about it. But you never did. 

Because you weren’t one for revenge. Not in practice. In theory, it was fun to think about it, to imagine his face as he got scolded for it, as his life was shattering. But really, you didn’t think you could live with yourself if you did it. 

But you couldn’t live with yourself with what he had done to you either. 

“I don’t really want… I don’t want revenge,” you told Hyunjin. 

“What is it that you want, then?” he asked softly. 

You told him everything. You told him about how Daehan was your competition and then your boyfriend and how he had never loved you right. Because, perhaps, he had never loved you. “I shouldn’t have stayed with him, but I did, and that’s on me.” How there had never been plans for the future, how he had never wanted to make enough space for you in his apartment, how you had never attended a full reunion with his family. “I should have seen the signs, the red flags, but I didn’t.” 

You told him about the Director of Creative Marketing job opening and how it had felt like a dream you could have. Because for the first time in your life, you felt like you could do this, that you were worthy of this job, of something. You told Hyunjin about all the times Daehan wouldn’t come home until very late and all the tears that stained your pillows and how he started hating you for it. Because you cried. Because, over time, you stopped being able to cry quietly. You told him about the breakup. And how you had felt numb about it. Neither sad, neither happy. Something else.

You told him about the utter lust with which he had fucked your boss in the bathroom and the cum dripping on her thigh and the look on his face. “He never fucked me like this. I still think I’m unfuckable.” Hyunjin listened, never speaking a word. He just listened, sometimes nodding, sometimes humming in agreement with a statement you made. 

“And I hate myself because I just let him do all this to me. I blame all of this on myself, even though I shouldn’t, but some of it really is on me,” you concluded with a sigh, your gaze flicking from Hyunjin, to the sky, to the string of fairy lights next to you. 

Hyunjin took a few seconds to think about it. “So, what is it that you want?” He licked his lips, staring at you intensely. “It helps when you put concrete words on your emotions. Even if what you want is impossible—your heart feels lighter once you’ve spoken the words that are trapped inside of it.”

“For a long time I just wanted to ruin his life,” you admitted, with shame, looking at your feet. “Wanted to make him lose his job. Expose him. Something.” You found enough courage to look into Hyunjin’s eyes again, the smooth dark brown of them, coated with an emotion you couldn’t name. “I don’t want that anymore. I just… I just want to know if he knows what he did to me. If he realizes what he put me through, for so long. Does he know? Do you think he knows that he hurt me?”

Hyunjin had no hesitation when he took your hand in his. His skin was smooth and warm, and your hand fit entirely in his. He squeezed it gently, sending wildfires through your entire body. “Tell me why you want to know if he knows that he hurt you. Say it. Find the words to express it.”

Hyunjin brushed his thumb on your skin. He was very close now—so close that you could feel his breath on your skin, warm and creamy and boozy. You ought to be distracted. Part of you was—the pressure was back between your legs, the tickling, too. And yet there was only you, and your hand in his, and Hyunjin’s big brown eyes. 

“Because if he knows that he hurt me, and did all of that despite knowing how it made me feel, it means it’s… his fault. It means it’s not my fault. And it means I’m right for hating him.” You realized your face was warm again, but not because you were blushing—a few tears were rolling on your cheeks. Not really because you were sad, but because it felt liberating to finally tell the story, from beginning to end, to someone. And to put words on the dark feelings in your heart. “I don’t like that I hate him. I just… I just wish he had been brave enough to break up with me before. So that I didn’t have all this hatred inside me.”

Hyunjin nodded slowly, keeping your hand wrapped in his, bringing his other hand to your face. Gently, he wiped your tears away with his thumb. 

“Just cry if you have to cry, it’s okay,” he whispered. “You’re safe here.” 

Your vision was blurry but you could still see genuine sorrow on Hyunjin’s face. He bit his lips and, finally, pulled you close, embracing you. And it felt natural, not forced, not weird—it felt like you belonged in his long arms, basking in his scent, his warmth, his presence. He pressed you against him and you buried your face into him. 

“I understand what you want,” Hyunjin said after a few moments. “We can make you better. Do you trust me?” 

You nodded in his arms and he pushed your hair away from your face-stained tears, looking into your eyes. “Yes.” Truth be told, you trusted Hyunjin like you had never trusted anyone before in your life. It was a brand new feeling, strange and scary and beautiful—just like him. “Anything.” You meant that. At that moment, you realized you did mean it, as scary as this all was. You thought about the couple he had told you about, and the ritual with the moon. It had worked, hadn’t it? “Those people who couldn’t have a baby,” you started. “The full moon. It worked for them.” 

Hyunjin gulped thickly, taking a deep breath. “The next full moon comes very soon,” he said. He was so close that he was speaking directly into your ear. His voice echoed within you, like an earthquake. “Are you comfortable with… that?” 

You nodded. “How does it work? You said it was the most powerful one.” You thought of the sight of him in that very window you were sitting under, of the way he was making love to the air, to himself, to some unseen entity. Perhaps he was making love to the ghost of the mother who had given her life to save her son. Was this why he seemed so strong? Because he used his powers like this? You thought, also, about how it was the same hand he used to touch himself that was touching your skin now. The lips that were ghosting your ear had eaten his cum—and that made you dizzy.

Hyunjin pulled away from you, making it easier for him to look you in the eyes. Except he didn’t—he averted his gaze, staring instead at your hand, still in his. But then he let go of you as well. 

“I’ll be very honest with you,” he started. “I believe that if you performed a ritual at the full moon—the full moon is best to release unwanted vibrations—it would be best if you used your sexual energy to cast it. It just makes sense, especially considering what you told me about your ex and how he treated you.” 

You nodded. “Yes. I want to try that.” 

You could swear that Hyunjin’s cheeks had darkened a little. He still wasn’t looking in your direction. Instead he was fiddling with the delicate chain around his neck. “Are you sure you’re comfortable with that? If I’m… present during the ritual, I mean?” 

“Yes.” The true answer would be more complicated than that—you wouldn’t be comfortable, you would be embarrassed, no matter what the spell entailed. But you also knew that Hyunjin’s presence was necessary. And, part of you really wanted him to be there.

You wanted him to see you, perhaps, the way you had seen him in that window.

Hyunjin ran his fingers through his hair while taking a deep breath. He looked like he was about to take a dive into an olympic pool. “If we’re going to do this,” he began, controlling his voice and yet you still heard the faint tremors in it. “You have to know something, or else it’d feel like I’m taking advantage of you, which I’m not. I genuinely think you were sent here for a reason, and that we can free you from this burden that you have to carry. But—” 

You didn’t press him. Instead, you gave him space. Whatever he was about to tell you, he didn’t really want to tell you, he just felt compelled to—maybe he had seen a stain of bad luck in your future, maybe the idea of spectating your sexual energy disgusted him, maybe he would need you to do a blood sacrifice to the moon. In the distance, you could hear a car coming closer and you guessed it must be your ride home. 

Hyunjin blurted out the rest of his sentence so fast that it took you several seconds to properly process it. “I’m attracted to you. Sexually. I don’t think this’ll get in the way of me assisting, but you have to be aware of it before we proceed so that whatever consent you give me is at least informed.” 

Seconds passed. Hyunjin dared not look anywhere that was in your direction but you couldn’t look away. His profile, the curves of his cheekbones, the shape of his lips—from here, they looked like a perfectly drawn cartoon-style heart. The way the soft breeze hit his hair. His posture, both perfect and casual, almost nonchalant. 

It was a splendid night. The stars were pretty, the weather was just right, you had made new friends. Your mouth still tasted like some mysterious ice cream. You felt good. Tired, but not in a bad way. Tired like having spent too much time in the sun and tired like having laughed a little too hard. Your pussy was wet and your heart beat fast. There was enough alcohol coursing through your veins to numb you, but not enough to make you stupid. You had heard Hyunjin’s words and you understood them. You were just having a hard time believing that they were real.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Hyunjin added quickly, finally staring upon you with panic in his eyes. “And it’s totally okay if you no longer want me to perform the ritual—we can find some other way. It’s just that it sounds creepy as fuck if I tell you I have to be there and guide you while you… you… while you explore your feminine and sexual energies and I… I… I’m not a stalker, I’m not a creep, I promise, but it’s okay if you don’t want to—”

“Hyunjin.” You cut him off, speaking firmly. “I want to do the ritual, and I’d like you to be there.” The car was coming closer and closer. You could stay. You could spend the night. Yet, something told you that you really shouldn’t, that the time wasn’t right.

“Oh.” Hyunjin relaxed instantly, burying his face into his big hands, embarrassed. “Okay then, good,” he spoke into his palms. 

You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, you wanted to tell him. I’ve been thinking about you since the very moment I laid eyes on you. I’ve been wondering about your cock since I saw you fuck your own hand with it. I’ve been wanting you, and only you, for the few days that I’ve known you. 

But you said nothing of the sort. Of course—your heart was trapped in a cage. Your heart was chained up, tethered, your heart was the feather of a raven, your heart was the space in between the stars. Millions of light years of distance, of emptiness, just voids after voids after voids. 

It seemed to help Hyunjin to talk about ‘business’. “You’ll have to practice a few things,” he said as the sound of a car, and car doors, resonated all the way to here. “First, you should try practicing having an orgasm with your eyes open. The whole time.” He was blushing but he didn’t shy away this time and it made you want to kiss him. “And you also have to practice, huh, edging.” 

Edging didn’t seem possible in your life, not anymore, not since you had met him, the sex witch with the mysterious aura and perfect body. It was as if all that was possible were long sessions between you and your favorite toys and cumming over and over, never quite satiated, until you passed out in your bed. 

Felix’s voice came from the front of the house. “Hey! Car’s here! Take your time though!” 

“Edging?” You could have cooked an egg on your face with how warm it was. “Why?”

“To charge up more energy,” Hyunjin explained. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna torture you for hours and hours—but this sort of ritual is best with one, meaningful, huh, finish. We’ll build up your tension until it’s time that you release. Sounds okay?” 

“Yes.” You were grateful you weren’t wearing clear shorts because you were soaking through two layers of fabric. “Sounds okay.” 

“The next full moon is next week on Saturday,” Hyunjin explained. “If I remember correctly, the apex will be just a few minutes short of midnight. “I think we’ll both need some time to, huh, make ourselves comfortable… Why don’t you come by around six? I can pick you up if you haven’t found a car by then. I’ll make some dinner and we can have a few drinks and chat.” 

You nodded slowly, getting up before you could leave an embarrassing stain on Hyunjin’s couch. It felt so futile, so ridiculous, so stupid, to plan on seeing him next week when he was right there and you right here and he could fuck you into that couch all night. “Alright, I’ll be here at six.” Then, turning to him, you added, “Thank you. For wanting to help me.” 

“No problem.” Hyunjin stood as well, now leading you back into the house. He forgot the empty ice cream bowls as he passed them, so you grabbed them. “And if at any time before or during the ritual, you want to stop—it’s not a problem. It’s all okay,” he explained. “It will only work if you’re entirely comfortable with it anyway. It’ll work best if you… if you like it. God, I know I sound like a fucking insane person…”

He pulled the door open, letting you in before himself. From here, you could hear voices in the kitchen, and sounds of items being moved in the fridge. “I trust you, Hyunjin.” And it was true. You really did. “I don’t think you’re insane.” 

Chris appeared at the other end of the hallway, his smile illuminating the whole room. “There they are! Did he introduce Aris to you?”

You welcomed Chris’ warm presence and let it calm you. “He did,” was all you managed, though. 

“I miss him, I ought to visit more often,” Chris added before disappearing once again. 

The kitchen was somewhat busy with everybody packing their leftovers. Felix was talking with his dad and Renee—Renee shot you a glance that you knew meant she would be calling you for details tomorrow. You refused your own container with a slice of pizza in it, and Hyunjin didn’t insist. Instead, he went to the freezer and handed you the tub of peach ice cream. 

“I made it for you after all.” He shoved his hands in his pants, his bashful demeanor returning. “I’ll see you around, Fantastic Four.” 

“Thanks for the ice cream. And for… the rest.” 

Hyunjin offered you a stiff nod as a response, and you followed Felix outside after saying goodbye to Chris and Renee. 

You were grateful that both Felix and his dad were talkative—they did all of the conversation on the way back, allowing you to simply nod or hum to reply to them. When you tried to pay them for the ride, they adamantly refused, Felix pointing out that when you’d find a car, you’d probably be the one offering rides back home. He was right, or at least, you were hoping he was. You were hoping that you’d be able to become friends with people again, someday. 

Your house was quiet and dark, but warm from the sun today. You cracked open a few windows upstairs and debated whether you should shower now or after. You stared at the drawer where you kept your favorite sex toys. You had never thought this about them, but tonight, they seemed so pointless. As if you knew they would never suffice. 

So you did shower, lathering your body, every inch of it. But in your mind, it was Hyunjin’s fingers spreading the soap on your skin, rubbing it into you. It was his hand between your legs, fucking you under the hot water, his chest pressed against your back, rubbing circles on your clit, massaging your breasts. You almost came, but you didn’t. 

You fucked yourself in your bed, on your back first, using a blue dildo. But that wasn’t enough and, soon, you ended up on your knees with the toy shoved deep within you, humping a pillow. In your mind, it was Hyunjin beneath you, fucking you from under, his fingers digging into your waist, slamming you onto him. You almost came, but you didn’t. 

Your bed was a mess by then and your pillow was damp, stained. Your room smelled like your pussy. Your room smelled like— 

Like peach and saffron and vanilla ice cream. 

Your house was dark but it was cooler with the windows open. Naked, your cunt throbbing and dripping, you returned downstairs, heading directly for your fridge, grabbing a spoon from the cutlery drawer on the way. First, you rubbed your pussy with your free hand, listening to the wet noises of it, gathering as much of your juices as you could on your fingers before licking them clean. You tasted good. You tasted sweet, but not overly sweet. 

The tub of ice cream was just where you had left it in the freezer. You brought it on the counter and took a large spoonful of it, shoving it all in your mouth, not minding the cream melting at the corner of your lips. 

The ice cream tasted like you. Like your cunt, specifically like your juices when you were craving Hyunjin. Because of course he made your pussy taste better. The ice cream tasted like being afraid and letting go anyway. The ice cream tasted like your wet pussy, like your moans louder than a storm. The ice cream tasted like the Four of Wands. 

You came hunched over your counter, fucking yourself with three fingers, the taste of peach and saffron and vanilla lingering in your mouth, drops of cream rolling down your neck and onto your breasts, drops of cream rolling down your inner thighs too, sticking to your skin. To love and to be loved.

... to be continued.

A special thank you for @cb97percent & her fic, Momo, for inspiring me parts of this chapter! In fact, a special thank you to Ren, period, for supporting me in this lil writing adventure, and for inspiring me and many others to create, and to create in a way that is aligned with ourselves. And, thank you for teaching me about kindness.

a/n: Hello beloveds! <3 I'm happy to share this new chapter of the witch boy with you all. Thank you for the support on chapter one! I appreciate all the feedback & kindness. I'm hoping to update Super Bored soon after this, stay tuned! 🐸

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