caught up

▼ kissing them

♢ stabbing them

♞ shooting them

✖ punching them

➶ slapping them

☠ poisoning them

☎ hugging them

☂ picking them up

✗ bringing them alcohol

✣ bringing them food

☯ coming home late

Random drunk quote found on google.

“Don’t tell ___ that I’m drinking.”

“See? I’m not too drunk. I can still take my clothes off.”

“I lost my pants. Where are my pants?”

“Beer before liquor, never sicker. Liquor before beer, liquor, liquor, liquor.”

“A straw is just a test tube, with a hole at the bottom.”

“Dude, try this.”

“I feel like a pickle torpedo… In a sea of graham cracker crumbs.”

“I may or may not also be drunk.”

“I’ll protect you! I’m (superhero name)!”

“If I had 50 ____, I’d give you one but only one.”

“I’m surrounded by an idiot.”

“I would punch a baby for a burrito right now.”

“This is the most I’ve ever been. Ever.”

“I’m so mad I could punch Superman in the face.”

“Is there a better way to do this?”

“Sorry about your shoes.”

“Don’t worry, when I’m in charge you can still be deputy of fire truck planet.”

“If drunk was a fruit, I’d be a ___.”

“I’m hungry. And I’m horny. I’m horngry.”

“I can’t look up, cause then I see your face and can’t stop staring.”

“Who put this wall here?”

“Stop screwing with my brain movies.”

“It’s YELLOW.”

“This is my song!”

“I’m not drunk.”

“I’m not THAT drunk.”

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