Goddess Jades Paypig

I was noticing that @dominantjade doesn't drink coffee. While I drink way too much coffee. It got me thinking, which isn't normally something I do. I'm not really supposed to think unless it's about earning more money but sometimes it just happens, like while i was doing the dishes for Her...

I realized I drink a lot of coffee to keep me going. When I was with Her I got up at 6AM, worked remotely for my job for 4 hours (so I didn't need to use as much vacation time) and then when Goddess woke up around 10 I logged off, cooked breakfast for Her and Her man and then did the dishes, errands for them etc. My day ended at 3AM after massaging Her feet, legs, back, arms and hands until She fell asleep. Then I crawled out of the room and slept on the couch.

I needed the coffee to keep me going. I was exhausted.

Goddess though slept until She was rested and then got up and if She got tired and wanted to lay down during the day, She did. Usually after giving me a list of chores to do for Her to keep me busy. She didn't need coffee to keep going, if She wanted a nap, She took a nap.

How many hours a week do you work... 

I get that question a lot, because if you read my tweets I'm sort of always tweeting about Goddess Jade (http://www.twitter.com/dominantjade), or working. I talk about how Her slaves should be working 168 hours a week and earning Her more money. So am i full of crap? Do i talk the talk but not walk it? Let's see.

Really during the week it's 7am until 10pm I do break for dinner and maybe watch the news but then back on the computer. i work through lunch, unless it's a work lunch. I sometimes meet with clients and will take a lunch, though i guess technically a sales lunch is working...

Weekend varies and depends on what you count. This weekend i spent 15 hours repairing septic lines but it saved me paying someone which would have cost money. Does that count? I also spent 4-5 hours a day working online for @dominantjade. Retweeting, or tweeting, or posting blogs on tumblr. I wrote three this weekend...

I do have a full-time 40hr a week job, a part time contract for roughly 20 though I told them I'd do more if they have the work, plus I write blog posts in my "spare time" so maybe another 5 or so hours a week there. 

And I will get other jobs as well. I will be teaching a class in July, that's an extra 32 hours. Not sure how I'll do the 100 hours of work that week but I'll figure it out.

I'm working to build another class that I will teach that takes time. I estimated i will take me another 200 hours to finish. It's going too slow actually.... Once it is done I can charge a lot of money, and travel to do it (and fund Goddess Jade to come with me if She wants). Plus my regular job and my contract job both let me work remotely, so I can teach plus still do my regular 60 hours a week.

I also do work for @dominantjade like retweeting, research, shopping etc. I've even donated blood and collected​ cans or scrap metal when my contract work wasn't going yet. 

I rarely will sit down and relax, if I do its usually because I'm on my laptop working for Goddess Jade...

But I do exaggerate i don't work 24x7 for Goddess. She is actually pretty adamant that i get enough sleep. Some nights She will make me go to bed early, or if I say i'm not feeling well. She is good about that. 

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Goddess Jade rapes sissy wallet for $1200 with 3 cards. LOL

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I try my best not to think. I mean @dominantJade is better at thinking so i almost always leave that to Her. i do spend a lot of time thinking about how to earn money and that allows me to focus. She worries about everything else. But sometimes i do...

Like yesterday, She told me to get strawberries, and the chocolate and a bowl. I had picked up strawberries from the market and the melty chocolate that you heat in the microwave and dip stuff in. So i grabbed a bowl put the strawberries in put the chocolate in the microwave, and stirred it every 30 seconds. I had just stopped it when the slave bell rang, so i ran over to Her and She asked why it was taking so long. I explained that the chocolate was still heating and then She told me not to heat it but bring it cold instead. Thinking...

The first night She set down a few ground rules. First was use the bathroom downstairs off of the lobby. The bathroom in the suite was off their bedroom and She didn't want to be bothered. Makes sense and I mean a little inconvenient, but no worse than having to ask to use the bathroom and it's slave inconvenience, not real inconvenience.

Anyway.. That night after i had finished putting everything away, cleaning the room and other chores it was around 2AM. She gave me another hour of work to do and told me to have breakfast ready at 10:20. I did my hour and then realized i had to go to the bathroom. So i got dressed, and as quietly as i could opened the door and went downstairs. I felt in my pockets for the key card before i left so i wasn't worried, until i went to use the keycard to get back in and found out if was actually my credit card.

Now credit cards are really useful, we used this one a lot the last few days, but they do not hep getting in the room. In my mind i  had two choices, i could sleep in my car or go to the front desk, Really one of those two. Luckily the desk manager printed me a new card and i let myself back in. Simple.

The next day Alpha and i were going somewhere and i mentioned it to Him. He laughed and said you could have just knocked on the door. We would have let you in.

Seriously waking them up?? That never occurred to me. When He asked what i would have done if the desk clerk wasn't there I said "DM'ed Goddess to let Her know, then slept in the car.". If She was awake and wanted to let me in She would have replied something like "HAHAHA dork, i'll open the door" and probably smacked my balls or face for the mistake.

I've actually been into online findom for a long time, i think my first time sending an online domme money was back in 2001. She turned out to have stolen someone else's photos, which explains why when i begged her to sell me the outfit she was wearing and paid the $500 fee she kept forgetting to send it. After a while she was exposed and i realized i had been scammed. 

It didn't turn me off though and i continued to serve off and on for the next 16 years... Some dommes for a few months, some a one time tribute, and one domme, or set of dommes really, for 6 years. I wasn't always a good slave, though i did always respect their time and always honored my commitments. If i said i was going to buy something i bought it. 

Being an online slave isn't easy but being an online domme isn't either. I left some dommes for being too easy on me, and i got bored. Other times i left because they demanded too much. Though i tried to be clear, i also hate conflict. It's actually my biggest flaw both in my fetish life and my vanilla life. I've tried to be better about it...

But i've served and learned and one of the main lessons that i learned... be honest. At the end of the day i might not be a good match for a particular Domme and that's OK. Many Dommes think it is all about them but the truth is, like any relationship, it's a two way street. Ideally what i want to do, is what my owner wants and if so, perfect. Some times it starts out that way and people drift apart, that's OK too. We are all adults, let it go and move on.

But this is about why Goddess Jade is right for me. Maybe it means She is right for You too. Maybe not, but here is why Her and i will be together until the end.

1. We are honest. When She first started owning me, there was another domme who i had been playing with. I wasn't trying to hide anything, but wasn't as clear about it with Goddess Jade as i should have been and it caused some challenges. Not just for us but for Her as well. I regret it, but was super honest about what i had done, and why i had done it. At the end of the day She forgave me and i think liked that i was honest, admitted i screwed up and begged Her to forgive me. When She did i had tears in my eyes i was so grateful. Even now i'm tearing up thinking about it... Literally had to stop and dry my eyes...

2. We trust each other. Being honest is important but trust is a little different. You can't really have one without the other, but need both to have a solid relationship. One of the first tests was when She wanted access to my email and twitter. I'm pretty fanatic about my privacy and security and NEVER share my password. Until then. She has access to all of my social media accounts, my paypal account, my "online" credit card, amazon etc. Even more She knows my real name. It would take Her less than a minute to find out everything about me. In my vanilla world, my social presence is super important. I manage my online presence like any other part of my business and i am very public. But she has trusted me with the same level of information too. It's why i feel so strongly that this is a "real" relationship not just a Goddess/Slave fantasy. Don't get me wrong when we were at lunch and She told me to give Her my wallet, i still frowned a bit, but i did it. She held onto it during lunch, asked me which credit card to use and paid the bill with it. I did not ask for the wallet back. I trusted Her completely and that includes all the other information that is in there. The funny thing is if i asked for Her purse She would give it to me too. I'd never ask, but I have no doubt She would let me do the same. Though some of the stuff She keeps in Her purse might traumatize me. I've already seen a leash, paddle, whip and ball gag come out of there...

3. We respect each other. There are some things i don't want to do. There are some things i can't do without causing serious problems to my other life. While She pushes me on some things, I know i have the right to say no, and She will stop. Likewise if She has stuff going on, I respect Her time and try not to be needy. Not being needy is really hard for slaves.. Literally I check my email, twitter, Her amazon wish list probably 80-100 times before She even wakes up. Other than work and Her i have no life or hobbies. I'm working to get some, but it's hard when She is my life, but She has Her own life too. I try to respect that though.

4. We truly care for each other. When i'm sick She makes sure i get rest and make sure i get better. She actually has a tweet of Her at the hospital with one of Her other slaves. To me that means a lot. When She was sick i sent her a Panera gift card for soup. I was in London during the London Bridge attack. She was supposed to have come with me, but it didn't work out logistically. If She had come with me we likely would have been near there. It was 1/2 mile from where i was staying and has good restaurants. We talked about it that night and She mentioned that could have been us. I told Her "I would absolutely give my life to protect Her's" but She said the same thing. I think her words were "And I'd die protecting You too, that's what we do". Luckily we haven't been tested and i hope we never are, but clearly we care for each other.

5. She really meets slaves and owns them in real life. I've served a lot of dommes but I've only met 3, 2 for sessions one for a cashmeet. I've also served dommes that promised to meet then every time cancelled. (Literally for years). The fact that She was willing to meet me was a big deal. The fact that She is also willing to let me serve online when we can't be together is huge. This month she is "near" me. It's actually a 5 hour ride, but close enough i can meet Her for lunch. I skipped prepping for a presentation in London to see Her and then skipped my birthday with family because i wanted to spend it with Her. We are planning a 4 day trip together while She is here. I'm nervous but can't wait. We are going to fetcon together in August so we have had a lot of real time. We've talked a little about what happens when we are apart and can't meet every few weeks (or every week) and the truth is i worry about that. I miss Her already and i saw Her 3 days ago. I'm not sure how we will make it work, but i know we will. I suspect Skype and either Her flying to me, me flying to Her or us travelling together someplace nice every few months. 

6. What I want to give is what She wants to take. I love working. I enjoy what i do for work. I'm good at it and i don't mind working 70 hours a week at it. My boss is cool, and work doesn't get in my way of serving Goddess. I make good money at my full time job and i make good money on my side jobs. I've never really taken a vacation, well maybe once 15 years ago when i went to visit my father and we did a 3 day cruise. Other than that i work... I sometimes post that we have a perfect relationship. I earn, She spends. People think i'm kidding, but the reality is i love that. I love seeing Her in something i bought, or relaxing at the spa while i'm working. Lately She has been texting me and making me take a break to order Her and Her friends lunch or dinner. I love it. It truly makes me so excited when She does it. It makes me glad that i can make Her life a little better. For us it works and we are both happy.

7. It's not just about the money. Sure She is a findom, and i'm a paypig. I mean clearly money is a part of our relationship. But She knows right now i'm a bit tight on cash. She told me She wants to see me anyway, money or not. That means a lot to me. She always gives me gifts too. Our first session She gave me a pair of panties to take and worship any time i can. I keep them in my laptop bag and have them with me almost always. She bought me a camera so She can watch me and we can chat while i'm travelling. She bought me a butt plug at our second session, and for my birthday i got several gifts from Her. Don't get me wrong, i always give Her all my money, but it's not just about the money. I truly feel like a valued pet, not a paying customer. For me that's almost a deal breaker...

8. We do love each other. We always say this to each other, and we both mean it. I mean yes She has a real man who is Her boyfriend, and i have no illusions of replacing him. That's not my role in Her life. But that doesn't make our love diminished. I'm loved like a favorite pet and i love Her like a dog does his owner. Sure it's not a traditional relationship but it doesn't mean its not as strong as a "normal" married couple...

Even Her friends treat me like a human. I've served some dommes and their friends, even other dommes, treated me like shit. I didn't like it. I mean i understand i've got some fucked up fetishes that people might find hard to understand, but Her friends treat me like one of the group. We can have a normal conversation about travel, politics, food or cars and it feels relaxed. I don't feel like someone is going to say "Shut the fuck up freak" like i've felt other times.