Jade-kingfisher

I miss when ‘getting sea air’ was a viable prescription for most maladies

yeah how come my doctor hasn’t instructed me to become a pirate for my own health yet? what’s up with that

I could seriously use this money right now….

Please give me my refund of 400$ soon…

I feel obligated to reblog this every time it shows up in my dash

So I reblogged this exactly a week ago because I thought it was funny and uh lo and behold, a family friend wrote me a big ol’ check just to help me out of a tough financial spot AND my bank refunded me $32 for fees they’d originally taken out. SO UH YEAH. Reblogging this again in hopes that it brings equally good fortune to my followers.

Sure why not? Jobs bring in money and prosperity…

I NEED TO FIX MY CAR DOOR

It fucking WORKED.

help I’ve fallen and am perfectly capable of getting up but refuse to

This is literally the funniest shit I’ve ever seen

queent

it is always hilarious to me that hermione managed to go 7 books with a reputation as a goody two shoes. all the school rules she’s broken…heck all the international wizarding laws she’s violated….kept a person in a jar for a year

As a straight A student with a reputation as a goody two shoes, I cannot begin to tell you the shit I got away with.

Being known as the quiet rule-abiding kid gave me a free shot at electrocuting my entire physics class because no one thought I’d do it

My uncles used to say about my aunt that if the teachers heard a gunshot and ran into the room to see her standing over the still-twitching body of a classmate holding a smoking gun in her hands, they would have said, “Erica! Don’t touch that! There might be fingerprints!”

if you choose to believe that in hobbit culture fat = sexy then when Gollum called Sam a ‘stupid fat hobbit’ from Sam’s perspective he was basically being called a himbo.

you telling me……..gollum was calling sam dummy thicc