Sideblog

ANGER — jaw clenching , hands balling into fists , teeth grinding, yelling , going nonverbal , vocalizations , stuttering speech , rushed speech , slow concise speech , rambling , quiet , arms crossing , shaking head , curling lip upwards , baring teeth , tearing up , animated , expressionless , projects , internalizes , vents , withdraws , tighter movements , passive-aggressive , direct , physical outbursts , verbal outbursts , pacing , going still , anger boils over in the heat of the moment but cools down quickly afterwards , anger brews slowly but lingers longer , will act out of impulse when angry , will stew on their anger and plot revenge , holds grudges , forgives easily , forgives but never forgets, hysterical outburst

JOY — easy smiles , fighting back grins , suppressed laughter , loud laughter , giggles , chuckling , smirks , whole body laughs , covers mouth when laughing/giggling , throws head back when laughing , slaps leg , touches people around them when laughing , looks down when laughing , looks for eye contact when laughing, sparkling eyes , bubbly happiness , quiet subtle happiness , obnoxious happiness , wants to spread joy , quietly savors joy

SADNESS — crying , bottling it up , seeking distractions , wallowing , meditating and processing , avoidance , seeking out comfort , withdrawing , swallowing thickly , talking it out , internalizing it , sad smiles , depression naps , using alcohol , using drugs , seeking out sources of joy , fidgets with sentimental item , sits in silence , broods , gets moody , wants someone to share the misery , tries to hide negative emotions , nurtures others to make themselves feel better

EMBARRASSMENT / SHAME — blushing , looking away , rubbing at the back of the head , running a hand through hair , clearing throat , covering the face , laughing nervously , laughing it off , overthinking , letting it go , self-deprecating humor , deflecting , getting irritated , smiling , withdraws , crossing arms over the stomach , crossing arms over chest , hands in pockets , shoulders sinking , shrugs , falling into silence until comfortable again , talking a lot to compensate

GUILT — avoiding eye contact , shoulders sinking low , head hanging down , crying , chest aches , lashing out , internalizing , apologizing , deflecting , communicating , withdrawing , grand gestures for forgiveness , accepting fault easily , punishing themselves , martyrdom , victim complex , over-active guilt complex , healthy conscience , internalizes even after forgiveness , seeking redemption , moves on easily , denial , shuts off empathy to cope , lack of guilt / conscious , sorry they got caught more than caused harm , can’t handle knowing they hurt others

FEAR / ANXIETY — trembling , crying , sarcasm / sass to cope, humour to cope , rambles , going quiet , going nonverbal , getting angry , fidgeting , freezing up , impatience , clenching jaw , picking at nails , chewing at the lip , pulling at clothes , adjusting jewelry / clothing / hair , pacing , swallowing thickly , eyes widening , over - reacts , under - reacts , calm , logical , panic , irrational, overthinks , carefully analyzes , talk to themselves , breathing exercises , flight , fight , withdraw , fawn, hysterical outburst

 spine arches , a sensual curve of her hips and the dip of her waist , she's pushing her abused hips back against his palm when he starts rubbing it again . soothing the pain , tricking her into believing it was over . five and six come stronger than before , her pained gasps start to sound awfully aroused . heart hammering behind the ribcage , she screws her eyes shut and patiently counts it . ❛ seven - e- eight . . . ❜ at some point he's pulled her black panties down her midthighs as if they covered anything . now bare and unashamedly wet , mindlessly grinding against his thigh and telling herself it was okay to moan so wantonly when he was trying to punish her . he probably never wanted to punish her , honestly . ❛ dae . . . i learned m- ah ! ten ! ❜ it goes on for longer than she'd guess it , half of it is akina's breathless whimpers and his cruel hand that falls on tender flesh over and over until akina feels tears tickle her eyes . yet she makes no attempts to get off his lap ( his pants are stained , there's a wet patch on his thigh ) , his free hand catches her throat , some of his strikes landing on the back of her thighs . one black tear rolls down her cheek , mixed with cheap mascara . akina's skin is thin , paler than most , the smallest redness quickly becomes visible ; that being said , his handprints were deep red on her ass now . she was sniffling when it was over , trembling hands trying to get herself off him , stumbling slightly before she's straddled him , settled on his lap with wet face . her panties around her left ankle .

 must have been twenty , or more . her mind isn't cooperating , not when she kisses him so deeply , and breathes out a whimper / sob as he slams his palm on her ass again . gripping it , rubbing it in faux soothing manner , and akina is moaning for it . ❛ twenty one . ❜ comes a hurried whisper before she's catching his mouth again , lower body arching into his hand once again like a feline in heat . parted lips breathe out against his tongue , not kissing him but just whispering with a growing smirk . she might have cried , she might have been begging but she won't let him win so easily no matter how good it hurt ; ❛ it's burning so good - ❜

 when you first watch the tape , nothing gives you a hint of death nor an angry ghost that'll be waiting for seven days to kill you . she wonders how he found out it's real , or that it's actually killed . he pins her to the door that he slams shut , a familiar action of their reckless , hungry days before she's squeezed a cursed tape between them and ruined his life ; his seven days long life , when did he even watch it ? akina doesn't have to ask , nor hear him to know what's gotten him so angry . there's a greatness in their anger , something that looks beautiful when it burns . she used to stare at the candles until her eyes burned , used to burn the books she'd study after every grade because she liked watching the flames . she stares at him , her eyes don't burn , her lips slowly tug in a faint smile ; * look who's stopped hiding behind a cute face . akina stands against the door and waits for his threats , for a knife in her guts or pressed under her chin ( bluffs ─ if you wanna kill someone you simply do it without talking to them ) . when nothing comes , she shifts slightly , tilts her head and lowers her eyelids to stare at his lips . ❛ this is what i was seeing from the start . . . ❜ ' you people-watch , you like studying people , akina ' . it's not about his violence , it's how skillfully he hides it ; what do you have to hide from your lover ? is she really his lover ? ❛ you won't kill me . because you think i know how to save you . ❜ a knowing smile . his grip hurt her arms , she doesn't move an inch . akina mori is filled with deaths of other people , people she was believing she could save . her saviour complex was drowned in darkness after the ghost took her sister . she gives him a crooked smirk and lets him tighten his grip if he wanted ; ❛ how many days are left ? ❜

 @8flesh        pinned against the wall.    ;     accepting

 ❛ you're welcome . ❜ comes the generous dismissal of a doubtful gratitude , he must be ashamed to walk around showing the way she's painted a masterpiece on his body unless he likes wearing turtlenecks . he didn't seem to mind , last night , didn't try to pacify her either . one look at his shoulder blades is enough to see what he meant by a crime scene ; only if he knew , how much a man has to bleed to soothe akina's rage ? or how deep the redness of these scratches could get to sate akina's lust ? he looked beautiful like this . she puts her phone away at last , staring at the man who sat on the end of the bed . he owed his greek statue body to working out and struggling with the poor souls that were his target , ever since akina found out about that , her interest in him was doubled . no matter how she denied it . and last night he looked a little too good in his dark shirt and tight pants . it was a kiss as gratitude for driving her home , and a breathless agreement to eventually , taking it to the bedroom . her bed is big enough , she used to share it with her sister for a while . for a few days before anita died and she had to sleep alone . he's not gotten kicked out yet , not that akina lets many men know where she lives and had the pleasure to kick them out of her house after doing this ; he's a special case . nothing malicious hides under her faint smile , one hand reaching out , lean body leaning forward like a lazy cat to poke his shoulder . ❛ i can hide the ones on your neck . ❜ or pretend to , tell him they don't look that bad ; even he's not prone to believing a lie after repeating it continuously . that's how they're designed , she thinks . ❛ . . . or make prettier ones . ❜

 @8flesh        dawn flavored.    ;     accepting