knowledge is the sail

Why shouldn’t I?

Because that job is left to the police for a reason.

Sort of obvious.

Right.

Jacob.

How are you holding up?

That’s something you possess that I could never imagine doing. Staying strong while everybody else crumbles around you. I imagine that’s difficult, but you guys are able to do it. I didn’t know him that well, either. But I know his daughter. And if he’s anything like her, he must have been amazing.

It's a matter of necessity, when it comes down to it. If we can't at least partially remove ourselves from the situation, we risk screwing up, and that sort of risk, knowing it's there, it sobers you to get the job done. I imagine so. She just lost her mother too recently, didn't she?

Something a little larger.

    Allison...

Oh God, that sounds terrible. I don’t know how you people working at the hospital can do it, seeing the aftermath. I think the town’s taken the news pretty roughly. They were good people….

I guess we just...try to remove ourselves from it, emotionally, and yet not entirely so since we don't want to desensitize ourselves from it. Just remove ourselves enough to be able to do what we need to do. It's...hard to explain and definitely not easy, but necessary. I didn't know Mr. Argent, but I'm sure that he was a good man. All of this violence is enough to make any heart weary.

I’ll live. You?

I'm fine. I'm more concerned about you, honestly. You      you should have at least had me examine the body with you. Or instead of you.

Wait. What happened at the hospital during the blackout? Did a lot of people get hurt?

I'm...not sure, honestly, other than what happened afterwards, when the bodies came in. The mudslide didn't seem to hurt too many people...it just seemed that the crazies were out for blood that night. I was stuck in an elevator during the blackout. I just know Dr. Quinn examined her body...and I know how close to her he was. It's just that I'm not sure what to say to him. I've never felt very confident in that, in my abilities to comfort people. 

Oh God. Lizzy and Michael. I have to—… Were you at the hospital when she arrived?

Yeah, I was. That's where I was when all the power went out. Got stuck in the elevator and by the time the power came back...well, it's more Alexander, Dr. Quinn, that I'm concerned for really.

I guess.

Someone that wants to listen to me talk? You must be one of the most patient people in the world. They were. And, one day, those that knew her will find comfort in her memory, and her warmth. But I think right now the pain is too fresh to remember anything other than her death, unfortunately. But that does not mean that people still can't find ways to celebrate her life. Like through her siblings. 

No, you’re right. ‘Sorry for your loss’ doesn’t do anything. I myself try not to say that either because who am I to apologize for someone else’s loss. But yes, she was.

It's just hard to put into words what you mean. That you may not be responsible for the loss, but what you're trying to get at is that you wish that people weren't having to suffer, that you regret that they have to grieve. It's hard.

Hey. [scratches at his cheek awkwardly, shifts on his feet] How are you holding up?

Why do bad things happen to good people? That just isn’t fair. It’s not fair!

You know, I've...often asked myself the same question. In my line of work, it's hard not to wonder why some of the best people in this world, those that are the most kind, the most generous have to suffer. Too often we get the cop out answer that life just isn't fair, but there has to be more to it than that. I just...haven't found that answer yet and even if I did, it wouldn't bring comfort to those left behind. 

Was it? And here I thought God does not listen to my prayers.

He seems to at least  want to drive you away from temptations.

That’s the problem— once I try it and like it, I’m hooked. I am already terrified of the temptation that is called ‘Flappy Bird’. 

I think you're in luck with that since I think that app was taken off the market? Don't quote me on that though.

Bloody wonderful. Once I have a smart phone, I’ll be hooked on these games. Additionally, those are so expensive— I just do not see why anyone would buy them for the sake of having a phone connected to facebook or whatever.

Try and avoid the games if you can. I was addicted to Candy Crush for a second but I was able to pull myself away before it got too late. Try instead to find more useful apps or something that can occupy your time but in a better way than spending hours of times and chunks of data playing Angry Birds. 

One of these super old ones. I tend to keep my phones until they die from old age, I guess. I believe this one has served its purpose.

Seems like you've reached that point with it, yeah. And you might have more trouble this time finding a phone that's older that's not going to cost you as much as a smart one. Phone companies like to get you that way.