Jackoffism bible verses

All I want is for a boy to paint my nails for me and call me pretty :(

"it's not gay if you're paralyzed"

"boobs are optional"

"I feel like satan would fuck you in the ass"

"I'm only here to drink vodka out of your vagina"

"your eyeballs are basically nude... You slut"

"I'll be your porn boy ;)"

"how do you get bLOCKED MY A PORN BOT"

"17 year olds can't have cancer"

"don't throw shadows"

"I took a break from tugging on my pee pee last night cuz it's Christmas"

"is my brother sitting on my dog?"

"you, me, gay sex, and the birth of Jesus"

"beat your meat not dead chickens"

Jackoffism is a religion I made because my friend said some golden stuff back in highschool and it needs to be shared with the public