jackofallthatsintrresting

Can’t the creation of matter occur like the creation of a tree? You have an acorn. That acorn will eventually turn into a towering oak, much larger and expansive than the measly little acorn, and we don’t normally think of the process. Like, the tree grows because it absorbs nutrients from soil, water, and sunlight. All on its own. And yeah there’s probably a scientific reason as to why it grows so large with such a small starting amount, but can’t the creation of matter be similar? Isn’t there a possibility that all of matter was created as a new step in the life cycle of something else? If even space is matter, and the absence of space is considered a black hole with similar attributes to a star such as the sun, isn’t it also possibly that all our matter didn’t completely start with the Big Bang? And the Big Bang was just another step in the process? I’m not a scientist, and I’d assume that finding anything concrete after an explosion in space so long ago would be extremely difficult if not impossible, but I’m not one to look at a bomb and decide ‘yes. This is where life began.’

We all debate what is attractive, and we all generally agree that beauty is subject to the eye of the beholder, but can we just agree

That Passion and Compassion are both things that make someone attractive?

Passion. Watching someone light up as they talk at length about some small detail in awe and wonder and curiousity as if it is both the world and the magic at the same time. Like they understand it and yet don’t at all, and can talk about it for hours in a way that feels so excitedly infective.

Compassion. When you see that one person do those small things that seem to make the world just a little bit brighter to one person. Maybe they clean the house during Finals, maybe they give you a cupcake on your birthday, maybe they see that you are struggling and help make it less so. Like they walk behind the group, not out of exclusion, but to make sure everyone walks together without problems.

(N.) the dawn in the early morning

An image of peace

Sun shining on your curtains

The walls

The floor

Warm feelings

Slight breeze

The covers half on the floor

Barely awake

Feels like a dream

Peaceful

Warm

There is no time

Nothing will come

Nothing has changed

Time stands still

And then you wake up.

It is cold.

It is dark.

Alarms are ringing.

People are yelling.

It is loud.

Violent shaking awake.

Rushed actions.

Time is racing by.

No time to talk.

No time to eat.

Go go go go go.

Late?

Late.

It’s too late for peace.

Too late for comfort.

(V.) to make or use new words or create new meanings for existing words.

I recently began to substitute “mwah” for “I love you” with my close family.

Due to the frequency of “I love you” in my everyday life, I end up saying quite a bit.

Half the time they just smile a bit and say

I know

I love you too

or

Thank you

but...

they don’t say it back...

and that makes me feel a bit down.

Cause I know what they mean, and they say it a decent amount,

but...

when someone says they love you in any language, made up or not, physical or not...

it will make them happier

to repeat it back

(N.) the desire to care less about things.

All my female friends that are close to me

Seem to think I’m a magical eraser

That can fix their relationships if they ask.

That is partly my fault, as that is what I did.

Over

And

Over

Again.

I have cried and sobbed and called my mom because

I can’t do this anymore

And when I replied to their text telling them that

We weren’t friends out of pity

It didn’t matter if the world was against you because I’d still stand by you

That everything would be fine eventually

And supporting them in their goals

They replied with

‘Okayy?? But anyway...’

And I am just done.

Because they ask me to fix a friendship because they called the other a B. And the other didn’t want to be friends anymore.

And I was done.

But it’s so hard to finish a friendship

When you are the only reason

They all get along

(N.) Lit. “cloud-walker”; one who lives in the clouds of their own imagination or dreams or one who does not obey the conventions of society, literature, or art.

I have something I’d like to do

As someone who will (hopefully) not care much in the future.

I am walking through the nearby shopping center

Wearing a formal, knee length, red dress.

My shades are on

My hair is done

My makeup is on fleek

I’m not wearing glasses

And I sip what looks to be a coffee

As I walk around in heels

Looking like I don’t feel the stares of others.

But

Right now

I walk around the school

In sweatpants and a t-shirt

Glasses on

Smile present

Caring almost too much of the feelings of others

And

Unconsciously forcing myself to blend in

And stay stagnant

In the way I have always been

But someday

I’ll have a tattoo that means something.

And my hair will be colorful and short.

I’ll wear a formal dress that makes me feel pretty.

(Adj.) an imposingly deep and full sound.

A glance at the word reminds me of bells, or a choir.

But a look at the meaning reminds me

Of a hearty, full belly laugh in a bar

Of a lone, solitary note, resonating throughout your body

Or a waterfall crashing into the ocean.

And these resonate more with me

Than the image of church choirs with apathetic faces

(Adj.) determined by or from the stars

I must ask

If in the city

There is anything concrete

That anchors you to the ground

And tells you that you are alive.

A subtle gaze to the stars

That tells you that your worries mean nothing to the grand expanse of space

And the feeling that what will be, will be

(N.) the inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality.

I find it hard

To tell the time

And what came before

From what came after.

I find it hard

To tell the truth

And speak the lie

I remembered

For when everyday is the same

And your dreams mesh so much with reality

Could you blame me

For thinking

That what you said

‘Yesterday’

Was

Last month?

Or in a dream?

How am I to know

What is truth

From what is fiction?

Mental screaming

Muted fear

Tears for no reason

An apathetic gaze

Hidden by a smile.

(N.) the inability to express your feelings.

I’ve had a few dreams, over the years.

I’m running

Or I’m not.

I’m being chased

Or perhaps persued.

They are getting close enough to nearly touch.

There are voices somewhere nearby.

I scream and scream

And try to make noise.

But I’m not loud enough.

I’m never loud enough.

Is there a word for that?

(N.) an ardent longing, as for something lost.

Can it not also be the feeling of missing something important, in a moment where everything is peaceful?

Can it not be the feeling of absence?

I feel this in the way I yearn for soulmates. A group of close friends with known boundaries and no restrictions. A small community of love and encouragement and humor.

I feel for them with my very being, yet I know not if they live, or if I’m just pretending.