me in reality

When is this week gonna be over? I swear there’s not another bad thing that could happen to me this week without me believing these are the end of times. 

You made it, friend. Welcome to the weekend.

Would have been more embarrassing if I forgot to get dressed before driving myself to the ER. 

That's not safe. Don't you have any friends?

Dancing. Or attempting to dance and busting my head open when I failed.

How embarrassing.

Nah, I broke my skull.

...doing what?

Tell that to them. They complain when I make them work twenty. I’d hate to see what they would do if I told them they had to run the place until I’m allowed to come back to work.

Did you break your legs?

So is making the only other employee in the store work more than 48 hours in a week. I think I’m choosing the lesser of two evils.

That's not even that bad.

Does anyone with retail experience want to work a couple days under the table?

That's illegal.

Mmm, so that’s debatable. At least you could take her out to the fireworks displays?

Unfortunately, yes.

Where do you work? That’s the determining factor in whether or not yours was worse than mine.

I'm a nanny to a seven year old girl.

Ha. Got you to admit you still care.

As much as you'd like to believe, I'm not heartless.

Yep, exactly what happened. So I hope your celebration was much better than mine.

Not even a little bit. I had to work. 

I kinda think you wouldn’t mind if any of those things did happen to me.

Really? I'd care if you died or whatever.

I’m not depressing, I’m honest. You don’t know that. Maybe I die of secondhand smoke. Or maybe I get into a car accident. Or maybe a tree falls on top of me.

You just proved that you're depressing, idiot.

I think some of them are definitely getting less intelligent, but I think if used correctly technology can be good tools.  That doesn’t stop people from wasting that potential though.  I still cringe whenever I see a seven year old with an iPhone.  Then again I suppose I took my Game Boy absolutely everywhere.  

I'm sure back in the dinosaur age the Game Boy was the worst thing a kid could have.

I dunno, babe, she was pretty sweet to me. Dying a slow death, but what else is new? No one seems to care that we’re all going to die.

You're so depressing. You'll live a full and healthy life. Leave the dead trees to the next generation.