wild side

Izzy: You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.

Izzy: Shit you should make sure no one ever says to me again: 'You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!'

Izzy: I told you I’d ride your broomstick if you let me call you Harry Potter and you drew a lightning bolt on your forehead.

Izzy: It’s all fun and games till someone says you’re so pretty they could punch you and they, you know, punch you

Izzy: That’s a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.

CJ: The princes seem WAY prissier than the princesses if you ask me and punishing men for sucking is more fun so let's do one of those! Chad feels like too easy of a target buuuuuuut maybe that'll just make it extra fun, we won't know unless we try! EVERYONE KNOWS I'M THE SMARTEST, some people just don't want to admit it because then they'll have to admit I'm good at everything which means they have no excuse for being turd buckets. And they like their excuses, you know.

Junior: I don't know why they like squishy in the first place. Probably because of all their dumb parents' love stories. The couples they ooh and aww over are going to be in way over their heads once they leave school though and we? Are gonna be fucking golden.

Junior: How would we get Eddie to go to a church or a library? Either sounds tough.

Izzy: Real talk, are their parents love stories even that good? One dude had a foot fetish, one made out with a sleeping chick - wait no, that was two of them. One was the first man a lady saw in her whole entire life, like... I could keep going, but do I really need to?

Colton: I had to look those up but they do look more suburban cowboy so you mighta just solved my cold neck problem! Thank you kindly, Izzy!

Colton: I guess we'd HAVE to, on account of I can't picture it being sexy at all. Choking is scary! Does that just mean I'd have to be the choker?

Izzy: Yeah, sure, you're welcome. Those are way better for being active anyway. Like, have you ever seen someone wear a SCARF to ski?

Jason: I usually always wear a vest but I'm a tough boy!! I can handle it. 💪

Not the best weapon, but they have their time and place. 

I don’t even care enough to be a full time member of someone else’s crew; why would I want to do the work to run my own?

Paintball is obviously better. You can literally feel the pain of losing, unlike with those stupid lasers.

Yeah, give me all of that. If @gastonthejr and I did have a kid right now, it would still be the coolest kid in the whole freaking world... but also, we don’t like, need one yet.

Anyone who’s peeped me and @gastonthejr doing it in public... you’re welcome.