The One Ring to Rule Them All

everyone on the block hates me because I have to take my pet loose sheet of aluminum siding on a walk every day at 3am

Denver too.

man this morning i heard my sister screaming in her sleep so i went in her room and woke her up and she was like "oh yea i was having a nightmare" then she tells me about it later and she had dreamt that she saw a snowman moving around outside

and she clarified that it wasnt even coming after her or anything it was just minding its own business

You will not die at the hands of quicksand. Ask me how I know this

Please, how do you know this?

quicksand does not have any hands

"We are fortunate that President Trump has indicated that he will work with us on a solution to reinstate TikTok once he takes office. Please stay tuned!" how about you go fuck yourself

props to Jimmy Carter for hanging on long enough to vote for Kamala and have one more Christmas and then returning to his maker before he has to see another Trump presidency. a little jealous of his timing.

The chemical they put on ants and all the other ants think they're dead that's what happened to tumblr except the chemical is unmarketability

Why are those funky pops pirates