My randomness, your pleasure

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SOMETHING NEW FOR THE MIND, BODY AND SOUL

And then it happened… that thing happened… that magic happened. And it would change everything I knew about myself. It touched the purest part of my being and surged through my body like an electrical charge. I knew it then… change was here… and change was here to stay.

Bye old me… They say there comes a time in life when you know something about you has changed. They also say it’s the point of no return. Now this could either be good or bad. But when fate deals you the good card, that’s when your horizons expand and everything becomes clearer, brighter and more colourful.

I had lived in my shadow for so long that it was my reality. It never even dawned on me that I was half living. I had missed out on so much, from the birds chirping to what the gentle breeze kissing my skin felt like. It was like none of the beauty I’ve awakened to ever existed.

Hello new me… Suddenly, everything I touch turns into perfection and all I do has a meaningful purpose. With more perspective and understanding, the world has become a bigger, mysterious place… NICE! I love this, this feeling… the feeling of being excited by everything and the prospect of discovering new things.

Meu pai used to say “travel light when navigating the world”. I obviously misinterpreted this because we went everywhere. But his words make more sense to me today, than they have ever.

Up, up and away… As I grow into a more awakened version of myself, ringing in my head are the words, “stay far from timid. Only make moves when ya heart’s in it. And live the phrase ‘Sky’s The Limit’,” to Notorious B.I.G’s song, Sky Is The Limit.

#FYI, not even the sky is the limit. #justSaying… LOL!

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HIDING 'OUR THANG' IN PLAIN SIGHT In public you’re a star. People know who you are, but they don’t know about the secret life of us. You always smile at me. I blush but they don’t see. That’s how it’s meant to be… the secret life of us.

I was in need of some affection, then you came my way. You threw some love in my direction… Wonder if it’s here to stay. So many eyes are watching you, that’s just the way it is. You always stress this thing we’ve got is not to share, and that all you need to feel from me is love. Talk about #Pressure ... LOL!

Sometimes I wake up early in the morning to find that you’re not there. What kind of spell have you been weaving cos your face is everywhere? Bright lights and fame, they know your name. But not the way I do. No one’s aware of our affair, exciting cos they don’t need to know about our love.

The mere thought of us tickles every bit of my being. I like that...

… in public you’re a star. People know who you are, but they don’t know about the secret life of us. 

That alone just turns me on… 

Picture Credit: http://medicineevolution.com/

HAS ANYONE TRIED TO TOUCH MORE THAN YOUR BODY?

Has anyone ever made you feel special? The kind that makes you feel as though you were the only person on earth. The kind that makes you wanna curl up in their arms forever. The kind that lessens your desire for another.

Has that person touched you in such a way that your emotions knew they were the only one for you? That their skin was the only texture you wanted to feel forever and their eyes were the only ones you longed to look into. That their soul aligned perfectly with yours and their heartbeat was in synch with yours.

Has that someone inspired you to look at the world differently, so that you appreciate it for the wonder it is? That no matter how messed up it is, their perspective motivates you to see a spectrum of colours and the beauty around you. That you have a desire to wake up everyday, if only just to breath in their scent and lose yourself in their magnificence.

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CONFRONTING THE MEANING OF LOSS

The people we most love do become a physical part of us, ingrained in our synapses, in the pathways where memories are created.

When you lose someone you were close to, you have to reassess your picture of the world and your place in it. The more your identity is wrapped up with them, the more difficult the mental work.

And in those weeks after "they" left, I felt the world expected me to absorb the loss and move forward, like some kind of emotional warrior.

What’s most sad is that grief that lasts longer than a few weeks may look like self-indulgence to those around you. But if you’re in mourning, a couple of months seems like nothing. After a loss, you have to learn to believe your ex is gone. It doesn’t come naturally.

It’s not a question of getting over it or healing. No! It’s a question of learning to live with this transformation. For the loss is transformative, in good ways and bad, a tangle of change that cannot be threaded into the usual narrative spools. It is too central for that. It’s not an emergence from the cocoon, but a tree growing around an obstruction.

Tumi Molekane (alias tfromthev) & Pebbles

Picture Credit: dylaismyname.blogspot.com

FILLING WHAT SEEMS LIKE AN ETERNAL VOID

It’s 4am and there’s someone lying next to me. At first I hope it’s you, but I know it’s not. I can’t smell the coconut in their hair from their favorite shampoo they use... and their fingers don’t fit in mine.

Like the missing pieces to a puzzle, their body doesn’t feel as warm next to me like yours does when I lose my blankets. Their breathing doesn’t match mine, it sounds like a broken record. I am not synced with them like I was with you.

Then it hits me like a freight train... I’ve done it again. My god I’ve done it again. I’ve taken someone else home to forget the taste of you that is still in my mouth. I’ve been trying to fill the void. I can feel it. It stings. It’s the hole in my chest from losing you.

Someone once told me that it takes twice as long to get over someone than your entire relationship was. That means I should’ve only waited for 62 weeks, 190 days, and 690 hours to be okay again... to let you go.

But I still see your face when I turn the corner and my heart still stops when I overhear your name.

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THE DAY I FELL IN LOVE WITH JOBURG

Today I fell in love, once again. This, after I thought I was doomed to an empty, long, cold existence until the end of my days. Oh, dear heart of mine, thanks for opening up to the splendor about me. Joburg, thanks for embracing me. You are amazing.

My wonderful mother, Joburg, a name I’ve called you by since I was a child, you are the world to me. I don’t call you Johannesburg because that name is born from apartheid. In your new renaissance aura, you mean love, second chances, opportunity and happiness to me. You are warmth, optimism and contentment.

Although I’ve been around the world and seen breathtaking places, you still blow me away every time I open my eyes in your presence — as though it were the first time I’m seeing you.Thanks for being strong, loving and caring.

Many have called you a concrete jungle, a place of lost dreams and a merciless succubus, who devours innocence. But I disagree. They refer to you that way because they are animals — who sort to harm your children. How dare they call you derogatory names? How could they be so blind to your beauty? Why do they deliberately ignore your tenderness?

I mean, you are the marvelous city of gold. Your streets are lined with promise, trust, patience and encouragement. Your sun rises in the west and sets in the east. The textures and richness of your dusk and dawn are like nothing in the whole universe — and it’s solar systems.

The rays of your sunshine kiss my skin every time you smile on the land. Your night skies are utopia, they rock and cuddle me gently into that goodnight.

Picture Credit: http://allinfo.kz/ 

WOMEN WHO TURN FROGS INTO THEIR PRINCES

In celebration of women’s month, I’d like to appreciate my sisters who hold it down. These goddesses keep their families together and turn their households into homes — cos men are just plain old stupid.

The uphill battle... Women generally have their hands full when dealing with the opposite sex. Men are childish, irresponsible and talk too bloody much. They say mean, hurtful things at times.

But if you love your overgrown toddler, you will put up with him and patiently mold him into your perfect man. If you don’t take the time to refine his nasty ass, he will eventually come across a woman who will.

The storm before the calm... If you stick it out, be warned. This is no easy task. The bouga will fight you every step of the way. But it’s okay because you have a plan… you want to make him your “own” prince.

My mother says relationships that go the distance are held together by women. She insists that a man is a boy when he meets a woman, and that her efforts turn him around over time.

As she put it: “That’s why they love us [their mothers] so much, because we put them in line. If you want him to be loyal, then teach him that you’re the only woman who matters. Period.”

HMMM! Maybe that’s why my dad was so amazing… LOL!

She insists that friends and family can’t help you shape your man. Nope! In Laymen’s terms, she said: “Your shit comes out your own ass and you have to wipe it yourself. So why should it be any different with your man?”

The final score... Anyhow, that’s the gospel truth. Women are strong, and have pulled off far more elaborate magic tricks than merely turning water into wine. Why should turning him into your prince be any different?