Is The Hereafter Steeped In The Dark

Being social--I have no clue how to make friends and pursue relationships (either platonic or not) and that terrifies me for when I graduate college. Pursuing the friendships I already have--a lot of these are long-distance, but not all. I just suck at keeping up with people. Eating healthy--sometimes I do alright, wish I could do better. Exercising--been a long time since I’ve done that. Even longer since I’ve done it with any consistency. School--kinda feeling like I’m going to be a failure at meeting dumb the standards this semester, but the kind of dumb standards that make paying for school possible. Learning--learning outside of school. I feel like I’m not doing enough to gain knowledge and experience out of school and I don’t even know where to begin. Time management--that kinda sums up all of the above. Self-sufficiency--I just feel like I rely on other people to take care of me in ways that I really wish I could take care of myself. I feel like I don’t know how to adult. Being interesting--sometimes, I just feel like I’m super uninteresting. I think the things I do with my best friend are fun because I’m with my best friend, but we don’t really do anything all that interesting. Knowing where I’m going--I know that so many people say that they don’t know where they’re going, but man it feels so scary, and weirdly lonely even though I know a lot of people don’t have things figured out. So much of me is just confused and lost about what my next step should be. So much of me is scared that I’m going in a direction that will end me up in a place where I’m not doing things with as much meaning as I’d like. Bluh.