The Living Moment

Winter is often related to hard conditions and the chill of lonely hours and bitter pangs of defeat but you know what? I was made in winter, I don’t survive it, I thrive in it. I’m a winter baby but I’m also a summer love.

“I tried to be everything you wanted me to be. But all that did was ruin who I was.”

Suddenly you’re 21 and even though three years ago you swore to yourself you’d have everything figured out at this age it’s not the case. At all. You still cry your heart out over boys who do not deserve a single one of your tears, you still struggle to let go of things and people you told yourself you were done with. You don’t speak up for yourself or people who deserve it. You live in the background even though you’ve been fighting for it to change. Life passes you by and you’re never in control - you’re always stuck in the passenger seat. You told yourself “I’ll be happy in a year’s time” but you’re not. Happiness is always something that waits around the corner for you, but you’re never fast enough to catch it and close your fingers around it so it doesn’t escape. You don’t know what your life will be like in another three years, you have absolutely no idea, and it scares you senseless, not knowing where you’re going, where you want to be. It’s like you’re walking with a blindfold covering your eyes. You know what? It’s not too late to get your life together. It’s not too late to write that letter, to send that application, to say goodbye to the people who do you no good and to be who you want to be, whether you’re 15 or 21 or 45.

When you remember me, it means you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.