Here We Go Again

I’m getting bad again. And unlike every other time, when I’ve sought out help,

This time I’m just letting it infest me.

I want to lose weight. No matter what. I want to feel numb, because I have been stuck in a rut of feeling too much for too long.

I don’t know if it was the fact that I moved away from the stress, or that I’m working out longer and harder, or that I’m eating so much less than I did before, but I made it guys.

Goal #1 has been reached. Collarbones are coming back and visible.

It’s festival season, and where I am, it’s really hot. I’ve been working out a lot and I’ve lost weight but my thighs and butt have gotten bigger with muscle, but none of last years shorts fit anymore.

I tried buying some new ones today. And although I have been in such a good place about my body, I haven’t felt this low since high school. I haven’t eaten at all today, and I know I should eat but I can’t justify it.