994-08' 18-09' August 24th

Coil's ego is FRAGILE okay. He was discarded from Splintered Skies, he viewed himself as weak and useless and disgraced, and while Wolf was raising and training him, she likely only furthered that lack of self worth. Literally her only dialogue is her telling him that he is disgraceful and tainted. Not much reading between the lines here

Coil is in active danger constantly. He is hiding from law enforcement. He is enemies with a major player in a foreign government and is committing international crime. Medically speaking he's experimenting on himself and pushing himself past his limits DAILY.

Time for the random paragraph where I push the reading too far but I headcanon him as disabled. Severe chronic fatigue + pain and the body modifications are helping him temporarily but WILL kill him in the long run.

And he doesn't. Love himself. And it's not a big deal, he's not self loathing, he's not actively TRYING to get himself hurt, but he doesn't respect himself.

But. He has friends. Even though he's rude and annoying and useless, Skateboard is always there for him. Boombox is always there for him. Even Slingshot (and yes I know they're not friends canonically go away I'm having fun) is always there for him, even if they get on each others nerves.

And he has to pick between this. Deep-seeded NEED to prove himself, to always push himself past his limits even if it kills him, and his genuine desire for emotional connection.

Coil is not emotional. He's fucking silly. He doesn't WANT to be psychoanalyzed and really THINK about what he's doing. If Coil wants to live, and he wants to have friends, and he wants to be happy, he has to go through the most embarrassing process of his life, the process of letting his ego die, letting himself let go of the persona, he has to be serious and genuine for once, and that is. HARD.

AND I WONDER. WOULD HE BE ABLE TO? I think about this all the time....

Such is the life of the undead.

(Yes I made fanart of my own fanfiction. Yes I think it is that good. Original link below)