We get this question a lot…
So cglre presents to you:
How to tell someone you’re an age regressor
It feels scary and hopeless to try to explain age regression to someone who’s never heard of the concept, or especially your own family and friends. It’s hard because you want to be accepted for how you are as a person and you want to be supported, but you don’t know how to get them to understand.
I’ve had this experience many times before- I’ve had to explain regression to many different people and due to this experience I would like to offer you my advice.
First step: Ask if they’ve heard of it
Asking if they’ve heard of or know of age regression is a great way to introduce it. If you ask them and they don’t know, you can simply explain age regression for what it is and what you know about it without relating it to yourself. This way you can gauge their reaction to the subject and see how they feel about it in general. Ask them their opinions on the topic before you share yours. Ask general questions like “What is your opinion about this?” “How does it make you feel?” “Would you support something like that?” “What if someone you knew did that?”
If they do happen to know, and may have a negative opinion or unclear definition, you could explain it for what it really is and try to help sway their opinion in a gentle way.
Next step: Know their opinion
If you’ve properly gauged their opinion, you should be able to understand how they feel about regression. The next steps all depend on the person’s feelings or opinions, since you most likely don’t want to tell them you’re a regressor if they’ll react negatively.
Next step: Slowly introduce it
Over a span of time, depending on how long you see fit, try bringing it up, asking about it, talking about it, etc. Talk about your feelings on the subject, what it means to you, etc etc.. I only recommend this if the person had a positive opinion when you brought it up the first time. The more you positively introduce it into conversation, the more the two of you can positively talk about it and create a calming, open and friendly atmosphere about the subject when you decide to tell them that you’re a regressor too.
Before we continue; what happens if the person you introduced it to before had a negative opinion and not the positive one? Well, the next thing you can do is try to sway their opinion, as stated before, by bringing it up and giving explanations and definitions. Sometimes people just need to be educated about something they don’t understand, and may need a while before being open about something like this. If they have a very negative reaction and it doesn’t seem like their mind will change, unfortunately keeping it hidden from them may be the safest option for you.
This is probably the hardest part. Finally opening up about your regression is the scariest part because all that information you gave them before is now being related to you. For parents you may have to explain that they are not the reason for your regression as they may feel guilty or as though they’ve failed to raise you properly. Of course this varies person to person but if the reason you do regress has something to do with your parents and you choose to tell them, make sure you be honest and firm but not accusatory. The last thing you want to do is cause a fight about something so sensitive and personal. For others you may have to explain some of the reasons why you do regress to help them better understand that this is a healthy coping mechanism. Don’t feel obligated to give the whole story if you’re not comfortable sharing everything.
“So, remember when I told you about that “regression” thing? Well, I regress too..”
“I’ve been scared to do this, but I want to do this because I want you to be a part of something so important to me. I want you to know I’m an age regressor..”
“Mom/Dad/Sister/Brother/Partner/Whoever, I’m an age regressor, and I want you to know because..”
“You don’t have to do anything special, I just want you to know, I’m an age regressor..”
“I told you about age regression because I want you to understand me. I’m an age regressor..”
Those are just some things you can say to be blunt, honest and to the point when you finally get it off your chest. Ease into the conversation and do your best to make it lighthearted and positive. Maybe ask the person you’re telling to go with you somewhere quiet or private, like a park, out to dinner, or to have a sit down with you outside. Don’t be alarmed if they ask questions. People might have questions and that’s natural. Answer them to the best of your ability but don’t feel forced to answer questions you can’t or don’t want to answer.
Another good idea if the person doesn’t quite understand is showing them examples, stories and sharing experiences of other regressors you know of. Telling them that there are therapists and psychologists who have recommended age regression therapy is also something that could be comforting to them.
When you’ve told them and they’ve asked questions, make sure you comfort them as well and tell them what you need from them or if you don’t need anything at all, just their acceptance and understanding.
You are not obligated to tell anyone you don’t want to tell.
If you feel too scared, anxious or even unsafe, it’s okay to try again later or keep it to yourself.
When you tell someone, you don’t have to specify personal parts of the story or detail your reasons why if you don’t want to.
Your regression is yours and is personal. You don’t have to let anyone in you don’t want to or go into any unwanted detail about your specific regression.
Make sure the person you tell is someone who you can trust or at least feel comfortable enough around.
Keep the environment lighthearted. Stray away from aggression, misunderstandings, fights, etc. Keep a clear head and if things aren’t going to plan, try another day.
This may seem weird but- be mature. Be the bigger person. If they seem nasty or don’t seem understanding or even become insulting, be the bigger person. Stay mature, calm, collected, and present them with wise knowledge. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you and panic or freak out, situations could escalate which could make it worse or even scarier.
Don’t do this while regressed if you can help it, like stated before it’s best to have a mature and clear mind so you can calmly explain things.
Take as much time as you need, there’s no rush to get it out there.
Gradually introducing the topic is the easiest way to go about it, but if someone has a very positive reaction the first time and you feel like doing it all in one go, that’s fine too. Just be careful.
Be careful- you don’t want to open up to anyone who could pose a threat to you if they found out. Stay safe.
There’s bound to be some assumptions about age regression from people who don’t understand.
Don’t expect the worst- and don’t expect the best. Go in with a positive attitude though, stay hopeful and mindful and let it come out when it feels most natural for you.
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