Another Nursing Student

Yes, I’m alive!!! It’s been quite the week. Thanks for staying with me! We went to Point Defiance Zoo in Tacoma this week where little Max decided my phone wanted to swim with the fishes (: Good times.

I don’t know about all of you, but I have a serious and undying love for tattoos. I have about twenty myself, and I’ve really had the itch to add to my collection lately. I’m not in a position to do anything else visible or huge at the moment, so last night, as insomnia took over, I stayed up contemplating what I should get next. “I want something meaningful” I thought. “I want a tattoo that pushes me.”

Becoming a nurse is (nearly) everything to me. I want something that reflects that now, and serves as a constant reminder once I’ve “made it”....something that grounds me and brings me back to why I’m doing this in the first place. As I sipped on my midnight beer in bed, I glanced up at my TV. A documentary on Netflix called Heroin(e) was on (short, but highly recommended). The doc. highlights the evergrowing opiate epidemic in a small town located in West Virginia that has been dubbed the “overdose capital of America.” We follow an outstanding woman named Jan Rader, working for the fire department; Jan is constantly in the streets, saving anyone she possibly can. “I don’t care if I save the same person 50 times” she says. “Each time I bring them back is another shot at long-term recovery.”

I finished the documentary feeling utterly inspired by this woman. By her compassion, her commitment to service and also to her community. This got my wheels turning (now it’s almost 2) and led me down a much deeper trail of thoughtful self-examination. As I stirred, unable to sleep, I asked myself: “What does being a nurse ACTUALLY mean to me?” Several words came to mind; humility, empathy, selflessness....but the one that stuck with me?   Service.

I am not doing this for props. I am not in it for the money (though it’s an obvious perk). I do not need recognition or special treatment. Service. I want to nurse to serve. In my life I have found that nothing gives you perspective like humility. And I can think of nothing more humbling or more awe-inspiring than the opportunity to go to work every day and find yourself exactly by losing yourself; becoming selfless. I believe it is an absolute necessity in this field I’m not even yet a part of, but that I already love. This is one of many reasons I feel so drawn to this field-I will learn every day, every shift, for the rest of my career. Not just academically, but spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. 

As nurses, we will be required to keep our heads and our wits about us at all times. I think one of the best ways to do that is to keep ourselves grounded. Keep our priorities fresh and in check, and always in the backs of our minds (because there aren’t already 10,000 other things we’ll have to keep there....LOL). Although humility is essential, our headspace as a whole is critical. When we are confronted with those difficult patients...the ones who curse at us, berate us or even assault us, I am training myself now to look at these instances not as a burden or a trial, but as a blessing. Fellow future nurses, we are undeniably, unequivocally blessed to be able to care for the sickest of the sick; the destitute, and anyone else walking through our doors or landing in our bays. 

This is a very special job. NOT everyone can do it. And many who can eventually experience burn out. I’m going to do my best to combat this daily by feeding my spiritual appetite and continuing to grow. We can encourage each other. Uplift each other. This job is a privilege - one that I will make sure I am worthy of by having the mindset of an advocate and the heart of a servant. This is what nursing is to me, at least in my flower bud stage of this journey. And so I have my next tattoo:                                                “Servus Autem Populus”                                                 -”Servant of the people”

What does nursing mean to you?

Helloooo out there! To whomever may or may not be reading this, thank you for taking the time out of your no doubt insane schedule to peruse my blog. If I can even call it that. I’m new to this. I don’t write recreationally. Or, I didn’t. 

Let me start w some basic info about myself. My name is Victoria, I’m a 26 (if anyone asks, 22...shhhh) year old mother of one awesome little guy named Max. Max is three and an absolutely adorable terror. In addition to Max, I have a psychotic little Bully named Big Meech-though I’ll usually refer to him as “Meatball” or “Meechie.” I am in a state of great transition in my life. After ending my five year long relationship with my son’s father at the beginning of the summer, I’ve struggled to find (lose? Whatever.) my feet. I was a SAHM of our two boys (my ex has a 9 YO) who decided to go back to school around the time I found out I was pregnant with Max. Bakery bucks just weren’t going to cut it for our growing family!  I’m not exactly sure WHEN I fell in love with nursing, but I’m not “one of those.” I didn’t “Know it all along.” I haven’t “wanted to be a nurse since I was a kid.” I think I knew I wanted to work in healthcare and had much “loftier” goals...until the reality that is college with kids set in. I’m not that special. I honed in on medicine and basically stumbled upon nursing (more specifically, trauma/ critical care) and became totally consumed. I knew it was the only thing I ever wanted to do. 

Back to my introduction. My life was in shambles after finding out my children’s father had been unfaithful. I moved back in with my parents. All of the harsh realities of single mom-ing set in. FAST. I scrambled to find a serving job at an extremely busy local restaurant nearby. Huge learning curve. I’ve never waited tables in my life. I then scrambled to find a sitter I trusted while working said grueling job. Check. I’m finally getting somewhere. Within 3 shifts at work I caught our head chef staring at me through the window. OK, I was staring too. Before long, we began casually seeing each other.  He is everything (well, aside from Max and becoming a nurse). He is my exact match. Both Geminis, both full-time single parents, in the same industry. He is patient, understanding, creative, passionate, level-headed and both respectful and admiring of my goals. He’s also a singer in a hardcore band. I know. Hot. Our kids are only one year apart. He is the reason for my belief in those corny sentiments: “Everything happens for a reason” “One door closes so another can open.” And all that. Tyler. His name is Tyler. *Swoon*

So! Alllll of this and somehow I passed my O. Chem class last quarter. Now I’m on to the big guns. I have A&P I and II as well as Microbio left for prerequisites to my school’s ADN/RN program. I’m shooting for every factoring point I can possibly earn towards admission, so I’m also tackling English Comp II this fall with A&P. *Crosses fingers* A little more back story. I was originally going to enter my school’s LPN program. I live in WA state (Seattle area). End of 2016, I was finally ready to apply. Stupid Washington changed our prereq. requirements so that now, LPN and RN degrees essentially require the same ones. I chose to shoot straight for my ADN.

In short, I need to nurse. I have to nurse. I crave it. I live for this. I want it more than anything. The nights, the work, the emotional intensity, the adrenaline, the opportunity to serve my community, the money (duh), the continued education, the sense of pride and fulfillment that come with this work, I could go on. I will be extremely blessed and honored to be allowed to care for the wounded and sick at their sickest. This is more than a job. It is the only true calling I have ever felt.