That one familiar feeling.
I was there when we were kids. And you had that little tv with the reruns. I didn’t know what I wanted, I’m sure you didn’t know either. But I was lost. Lost in a foreign smile, lost in perfection of something I thought could never be mine. And I’ve been lost since. Lost for something so obscure, So out my league. I wanted you down to my core. I wanted to be everything to you. I wanted you to feel it too. But it never came. You said wait for it like a cake baking. It never finished. You made me feel so mature. But You made me feel sheepish like a child. I liked when you put me in place. How is it that you could never find a place... for me. I was there. I was there when pockets were barren, when you had no phone, when you had no home. I was there when emotions were absent, when love and intimacy was dry. I was there when you needed to linger in other women’s lives. I was there. I was there more than being there could ever be. How is it that you could never find a place for me? I was there through job 1, job 2, job 3. I was there through the uncertainty. I was there when you began molding yourself into the man you want to be. I was there but you could never find a place for me. I’ve been here before. I told you. You said you’re a different person. But you couldn’t handle the heat just like the last man, at least he didn’t try to reverse it. I told you I can’t do it anymore. I can’t not be with you. Your solution? Told me to move on and I’ll see you when I see you... Closed the door and let go of any potential. Closed the door on the past five years and all we were meant for. That talk about babies and marriage, that’s all out the window. But I was there. And I am still here. And I am still lost. In something so obscure, so out of my league.
