it girl

Dan nodded his head. He hoped Nate wouldn't do that again, but she was right. "Yeah, can't make him talk about it. It's hard to open up when you aren't sure how you feel." He got it, sometimes your head was your worst enemy. "I guess not, I can't say I miss that part of hanging out with that group." He laughed at her, he knew a couple of people like that. He didn't understand that, he barely liked the fun parties. "And neither could I. I mean, who could hate you?" There had been times he had been frustrated by Serena, but nothing she had ever done would make him hate her. "I'm the poorer in this deal, right?" He teased with a smile.

"it doesn't help that he can be stubborn when he wants to be." she wouldn't blame him for being stubborn. given everything going on she knew his stress levels would be through the roof. "ouch. way to cut a girl" she joked. serena could understand his feelings about it, they were intense as a group. rich kids with high standards and constant demands, what could go wrong? "i'm sure there's people who do. i was no angel before getting my life together" getting herself together was the best thing she had ever done. it was a revelation. thinking back on it now she couldn't believe how she used to spiral. "never poor" she smiled, shaking her head "you've always been rich in everything you've been kind enough to offer. i think that makes you the richest of us all"

"that would be fun, wouldn't it? you could walk in it if you liked, hypothetically speaking. oh, it's perfect. you're giving casual elegance with a side of je ne sais quoi. yes, that's exactly it, my love. 'lightning in a bottle'. seeing sienna, frankie and scottie work together has been quite surreal and nostalgic for me. sometimes it's like looking into the past. hopefully, they don't make quite so many mistakes," she joked. jamie was delighted that serena was enjoying the show and was excited for more. she was always glad to see her happy and carefree. serena deserved the very best of the best. "right? i mean, you didn't hear it from me, obviously but... it's all very exciting. i'm completing in the dark! i'm going to be just as gobsmacked as the rest the world when i finally get my marcus."

"hypothetically speaking or not, you know you can always ask me to help wherever required. you want me to walk in a show then i'll walk in a show" she'd do anything for her aunt jamie. she was more like a mom to her than her own mom was. "receiving your fashion approval is the highest honour. that's wonderful that you're getting those same feelings and how sweet it is for you to see younger actors starting out have that experience. we all love a bit of nostalgia. i found old clips of sunset bay online a while ago and you were all just as formidable as you are now" seeing the archival footage of the show that started the careers for the brat pack was inspiring that she could look to them now and see how well they've built their careers. household names, award winners, all round icons. "how exciting!! i need to know who your marcus is, you have to promise to tell me as soon as you find out"

"i know, i'm so special. heavy is the head that wears the crown, s" he grinned. he was his own number one fan, why wouldn't he be? confidence was key "yeah, same thing. tomaeto tomato" he shrugged, if anything he was doing a service by keeping atticus' reaction times as sharp as a tac. "i wouldn't dare. i couldn't risk your opinion of me lowering. you're the only person that sees the good in me, i can't lose that"

"heavy is the head made of lead" heavy metal and a man with never-ending plans. serena thought there would never be a day he didn't get himself into some sort of drama "the others see good in you, chuck. nate, blair, atticus, gigi...the rest of our group...they all see it. maybe stop trying to send atticus to the hospital with a heart attack though, yeah?"

"that is a very reasonable way of looking at it." serena always managed to surprise her, even after all this time. vanessa couldn't help smiling, laughing a little at her compliments. serena van der woodsen - the easiest person in the world to fall in love with. sunshine in a bottle. "you're so sweet, serena. thank you for saying that, i really appreciate it. i'll remember that for next time i'm in a total creative spiral and hate everything i've shot. yeah, absolutely. i mean, exactly. everyone has to start somewhere."

"it's more of a pick and choose your battles wisely. you're never going to win against the paparazzi, so you might as well work with them. they get what they need and they leave, it's a mutual understanding" she smiled with a shrug of her shoulders. "i wouldn't say it if it wasn't true. you're talented, vanesssa. better than half of the posers they have in galleries across this city." she nodded "everyone starts somewhere, support local businesses and all that"

"there isn't even a number on the scale right now, s. ask me in 3 to 5 business days," she answered with grimace. this definitely would never have happened in their savannah and svetlana days. "i did and i've tragically lived to regret it too. agnes is made of way strong stuff, i can't even."

"got it, i'll pencil in a reminder to check in with you in a few days" she smiled. long gone were the days of savannah and svetlana wreaking havoc on the upper east side. "agnes may outlive us all out of sheer spite alone. onto another topic though, were you ever going to mention that your favourite english chef was back in town?"

"Well, I am going to try as hard as I can to be there for him, and if he tries to run, I will drag him back. Do you think it has something to do with Lisbeth?" Dan had heard about her return, and he knew it was bothering Nate. "I have heard about all the parties, sounds like a full social calendar. It's going, I have started and restarted it a dozen times lately." His writing had kind of gone nowhere. "I get that, I do that to myself mostly. I try to make everything perfect." He smiled at her. "Exactly, I mean you don't hate me, which is a win for me." Talking to Serena had always been easy. She didn't judge him, and he didn't judge her. "I do, and same here. You are stuck with me for better or worse."

"if nate wants to disappear, he will. he's done it before." serena thought over the question, not sure about the answer "i really don't know. i'd like to think he would tell me if there was something bothering him but he has to do that when he's ready." trying to force a reason out of him might only make him shut down further "is it the upper east side if your social calendar isn't full. some people around here would attend the opening of an envelope if it got them some pr" some people were desperate for visibility. serena smiled back at him, knowing him well enough that he did strive to try and make everything perfect. "i could never hate you, you know that. i could say it's a miracle you don't hate me" wild serena had certainly had her moments over the years, but she was consistently met with a grace from dan that she never deserved. "for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health..."

vanessa took the seat that serena offered her - why not, right? she could stay a little longer. "yeah, i can imagine. just let me know if you want me to yell over here for security. only behind the scenes shots, it's for the company's socials. nothing too exciting," she half shrugged. "how about you? just here to support?"

"no, that won't be necessary. they will get bored eventually and leave and at with the more photos they take at least they're getting shots of the event and promoting it" sometimes battles with paparazzi was accepting the lesser of two evils "that is exciting, vanessa. you should be proud. i've always loved your work" she smiled "i'm here to support local and new designers. it feels like a worth cause to show up for"

"why? i'm incredible, rich and sexy. gravity is the only thing keeping me down" he laughed. his unshakable confidence will never die. "how is that fair? it's not my fault he's allergic to having a laugh" atticus 'stick in the mud' bass. always so stuffy and boring "would i ever dream of getting you a bad gift? you know i think too highly of you to do that."

"ever so humble as well" she smiled, rolling her eyes. he'd never learn. she couldn't help but admire the pure delusion his displayed at times, it must be nice. "more like he's allergic to you causing trouble. which you're always doing might i add. you're going to give that boy an aneurysm" she worried about atticus' blood pressure and general cardiac situation with the stress he was under "i hope not. if it was a bad gift i think it would lower my opinion of you"

Dan smiled at Serena, she always had a way of saying the right thing. "It has to be. I am worried about him too. But you just have to keep being there for him. What about you? How is Serena?" They had not talked in a while. Things had been busy, and when they saw each other, it had been with Nate. "I mean, it can't be easy getting them food. I can't imagine having to mess with their faces." He had seen enough of both Blair and Chuck to know how hard they were. "We both made it out okay, I would say. Not even close to bad. Just didn't work out how we expected. I would rather have you in my life as a friend than two exes who don't like each other."

it was reassuring that it wasn't just herself that had been worried about nate. "i know and i always will be there for him. he feels closed off. i feel like he's not saying something and i don't want him to disappear again." she wasn't sure what it was that was bothering him, there was no evidence, only a feeling. "i'm doing okay, can't complain about life. studying and keeping busy with social events. how's your writing going? am i ever going to get my hands on that novel of yours?" it had been a while since they had been graced with the time for a proper catch up, she'd missed that "they won't settle for anything other than what they exactly want. i respect the dedication to their standards" she didn't know how they kept up with it all. "we survived better than most and came out relatively unscathed, that's a miracle in itself around here." serena smiled softly at his words and nodded in agreement "i value you too much in my life to lose you. i hope you know that"

she had a point, as much as it pained him to admit that. the difference between serena and chuck was that serena learned her lessons, might've been later than intended but she got it. chuck on the other hand had no current intentions of doing that "you wanted to change, he's not there yet if at all intending to be there. the bar is on the floor serena and he limbo dances under it. i'm not a patient man and chuck is not a serious one. i've carried him our whole lives, it's time he grows up."

"you never know, he might surprise you. chuck is hardly someone that can be considered predictable." she might've had her moment of realisation but she hasn't been the only person to ever do so. "he limbo dances under it because he's a little shit that loves to annoy you. you know this. not everything is a business transaction, personal lives are far for grey. he'll find his way, atticus. we've just got to give him time to figure it out."

"I don't know if I have hit that yet. I mean, I have been very antisocial lately, but I already have you and Nate to thank for changing that. How have things been for you guys?" Dan had been busy, but Gossip Girl updates were something even he couldn't avoid. She had been taking a lot of digs at Nate. "Well, it's that or Botox, right?" Dan laughed, shaking his head. "I mean, if we can survive dating and still be friends, I think we can make it through anything."

"you don't need to hit it, dan. i needed to have the wake up call, i don't think you do." she reassured him "we've been good. i worry about him a lot. he's been quiet and this whole business with his father is a lot for him and his family. it must be overwhelming" there were times nate felt distant. he was dealing with more than a single person should and serena was there for him as much as he would allow. it didn't stop her from constantly worrying about him. serena laughed along with him "if they ever decide to take that route i pray for the aesthetic practitioner who will have to deal with their demands" if there were two people on this earth that wouldn't settle for anything less than pure perfection, serena thought it would be chuck and blair. "i agree. we have been through our fair share of hardships together. we might not have been perfect, but it wasn't bad."

"so true, s. i guess i never thought about tequila playing matchmaker before... she usually just gets me in loads of trouble as you know. now that's facts... a little heartache could do them some good. thank you, babe. and i support your beautiful, romantic, soulmate endeavors with your sweet, sad, boy."

"tequila has a lot to answer for when it comes to drunken nights out. what's life without a little trouble? trouble has always been fun, i of all people should know." she smirked innocently like she hadn't spent years wreaking havoc in the upper east side "as my mother would say: breaking hearts is like breaking in shoes, sometimes it has to be done." it was the only useful advice lily van der woodsen really had ever provided apart from the number one piece of advise she had bestowed on her daughter which was ice waters your alcohol down "thank you, i swear, if he was any sweeter he'd give me a cavity. he does have that sad puppy look about him at times. it makes me want to wrap him up and save him from the world"

"i'm so glad i could be of service," jamie laughed as she took serena's hands in hers, beaming brightly at her compliments. "oh, sweetheart. you're always far too kind, thank you. i'm trying a few new looks this week to see what feels right. well, it is a dazzling outfit. very you." at serena's offer, she took the seat beside her favourite goddaughter. "it's so much fun, i'm having such a wonderful time on set. it's so reminiscent of 'sunset bay'... minus the supernatural, of course. well, mostly! don't twist my arm, now," jamie whispered, leaning closer to her. "i can't say much, they'll have my head. but i will tell you... there are some very exciting flashback episodes coming up for scottie and frankie. and they may even cast my love interest one of these days."

"oooooh a jamie park fashion show? we're being blessed on the streets of the upper east side" she smiled brightly "thank you, i've bene wanting to wear this since i bought it. today seemed a good a day as any to break it out" she welcomed jamie sitting next to her, ignoring the flashes of cameras and press yelling "i'm glad you're having a great time on the show. what a wonderful feeling to feel like you're capturing lightning in a bottle again like you did with 'sunset bay'." at the movement of jamie, serena leaned in to hear her "no! shut up!! that's so exciting for them. i can't wait to see it." she gasped "really? oh how i'd pay a fortune to be in that casting room for that process. i'd love to know who they'd pair you with. you never know, they might already be discussing names. i for one can't wait to find out who it is, i need to know more about your character immediately"